SEBASTIAN #2
Tyler snorted and stepped back, leaning against the bookcase.
I followed him, keeping us at the same two-foot distance.
“I don’t know. An asshole for kissing you behind my girl’s back.
A lousy friend who used you for a little experiment at the worst possible moment.
” He counted each one with a finger. “Kind of bisexual or something along those lines. Confused out of my mind because I’m suddenly into you. ”
The emotion was there before my mind could unpack and understand it. And it was showing on my face before I knew it.
Tyler frowned at me. “What?”
My eyebrows rose and I began to realize what I was doing.
“Why are you smiling? Did I say something stupid?” He cocked his head.
I was happy. I was so ridiculously happy that I couldn’t contain it. “You wanted it,” I said.
The annoyance was wiped away instantly. His features softened and he looked into my eyes. I didn’t doubt the honesty of his words. “Yeah. I wanted it.”
My teeth closed around my lower lip as something incredible soared through my torso. I felt it open up in my stomach, releasing flutters that were like nothing I had ever felt before.
He squared his shoulders and took one tiny step toward me. The distance between us halved. “It was bad timing. And I should have asked. And we shouldn’t have been drunk. But…I wanted it.”
“And…” This time I moved a little toward him, inches of space separating us. “Now? Do you still want it?”
“Sebastian, I…don’t want to make mistakes that can ruin what we have,” he said. He hesitated, blinked, and licked his lips. “But I do. I can’t stop wanting it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
It was as easy as breathing. It was as natural as greeting him.
He had been right the other night. Soulmates were much more than just physical attraction, but the attraction was there.
It pulled me in even as I thought I was making my body move.
It made my body melt into him and our lips touched again.
It was even better when we were sober. His minty breath and warm tongue met my insecure and eager lips as we turned our heads slightly and our brows touched.
I searched with my hands until I felt the lapels of his jacket and clutched him hard.
The kiss was like a spectacular show of lights, but I felt like we were the fireworks.
Colliding with one another, we turned around, and Ty put his hand on the back of my head a moment before my back pressed against the bookcase.
Even in the wild moment of this passionate exploration, he was careful with me.
He leaned against me, his other arm wrapped around my waist, and kissed me deeply. I welcomed his tongue when it ventured out to explore my mouth. I parted my lips wide for him and savored the cool and minty flavors. I wanted this to last for the rest of my life, this feeling of completeness.
But my ears thumped with my loud heartbeat and my mind spun.
I was dizzy both with lust that roared to life and made me hard and with the fear of what we were doing.
It wasn’t so much a fear of what this was, but a fear of what it would do to us.
What unexpected problems were we setting loose upon ourselves?
What terrible pitfalls had we not considered?
But his body was warm, and his kisses were sweet, so I moved my arms around his neck and pulled him so close that I could hardly breathe.
When a shudder passed through us both, Tyler pulled his head back and looked into my eyes. “Does this mean you want it too?” he asked with a slightly cocky smile.
“What do you think?” I said.
He licked his lips. “It tastes like a ‘yes’ to me.” As he leaned back toward me, his hips pressed against mine, and his eyebrows danced up playfully. His breathing quickened and he let himself press against me harder, applying huge pressure against the swelling bulge in my pants.
We both stopped moving. Stopped breathing. Stopped everything. When our gazes met, I wasn’t sure whether I was afraid or aroused. He was making me so hard so fast and it felt terrific. That, on its own, seemed scary enough.
When Tyler shifted his weight from one leg to the other, his crotch dragged against mine and my eyes rolled back with an excruciating mixture of desire and pleasure.
In one heartbeat, I wanted it all. I wanted to explore all these possibilities that had never crossed my mind before. And the desire to do that was so fiery and brilliant that my heart stumbled.
The feeling was so abrupt that a loud whimper burst out of me and I clutched him harder. “Fuck, Ty,” I whispered, my voice a low rumble. “Maybe we shouldn’t do it in the library.”
He bit his lower lip hard and mischief blazed in his eyes. “Right,” he said softly, almost seductively. “Maybe we should go somewhere else.”
It was enough to make my heart thunder with excitement. The possibilities seemed endless. The familiarity of this person was as comforting as meeting a new side of my best friend and that was exciting. It was Tyler. Who else would it be?
My throat closed as I searched for his hand. I pulled him in. I looked deep into his eyes. “Are we sure about this?” It was the quietest whisper, only for Tyler’s ears to hear.
“It feels good,” Tyler said. “That’s all I know.”
I swallowed and nodded. Then, as courage and determination merged into a single, active force in my body, I tugged him forward as I moved from the section where we had been hiding.
“Let’s go,” I said, taking the lead. Our hands separated as we merged back into the brighter light of the corridor.
We walked as we always did, the way two straight athletes might, and I held my head high.
I wasn’t embarrassed about kissing him. I wasn’t ashamed that I wanted whatever he would give me.
But I had to admit that there was something close to anxiety running through my nervous system.
My fingers were tingling and twitching restlessly as we walked out of the library.
There was some fear underneath the hopefulness, but I couldn’t remember a time I was with someone when I wasn’t afraid as much as I was excited.
All that mattered was the person next to me. All that mattered was Tyler.
We walked into the night.