Dean #2
I’d punched him in the face. The in-school suspension was so worth it because I had a feeling that was when Julie finally noticed me.
We all only had one summer together before we went to college.
I was going to a trade school in Nashville, and I knew she was planning to go to a college in the city too.
Once she said yes to being my girlfriend, I wanted to show her how a man should be.
I wouldn’t talk about her behind her back.
I would stick around and be with her for exactly who she was.
“Can I walk you to class?” I asked.
“Why would you wanna walk me to class?” She laughed, looking in between her friends. “Thanks, though.” I frowned as she walked away.
The girls walked close together, talking about whatever they had going on.
The flowers were still in my hand. With a sigh, I put them in my locker before heading to class.
It would be hard to convince her to change, but Mom said that Dad had asked her out five times before she said yes. I’d be stubborn.
I didn’t see her again until later. The plan was to meet at the vacant electrical room so we could get some time alone together before anyone caught us.
“There you are,” she said, finally smiling at me before pulling me into a kiss. I knew she was about to drag me through the wooden door into the dark, but I wanted to ask this before she did anything else.
“Wait, we should talk first.”
“Since when do we talk?” she asked as she shook her head. “Don’t worry about that. Let’s just have fun.”
“Hang on a second.” My grip on her tightened. “About this morning . . .”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, I still have the flowers for you. I kept them in a paper towel so they would be fresh.”
Julie sighed. “I don’t need flowers. Just this.”
“Just me, or . . .”
“I mean, you’re kind of a part of it. I mean the whole sneaking around thing. It’s fun.” She leaned in and her voice lowered into a purr. “You’re fun.”
“I can be more than just fun.”
Now she frowned. “What are you saying?”
“I wanna go steady. With you, I mean.”
She blinked, her cheeks turning red. “Wait, really?”
“Yeah.”
“But I’m about to go to college.”
“I’m going too.”
“I thought you were doing something else.”
“Trade school. I wanna be an electrician. But it’s still school.”
She laughed, but I hadn’t said anything funny. “That’s not . . . That’s like a different kind of school. Not the good kind.”
There was a sinking feeling in my gut. This wasn’t going how I’d imagined. None of today had, but I ignored it and tried to keep moving forward.
“It’s still something. In two years, I’ll have a good job, and you’re going to school in Nashville, so—”
“Whoa,” she said. “We don’t need to be thinking that far ahead. And besides, once I get to Nashville, things are changing for me.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll finally be a part of something better. I’ll be out of the small-town life.”
“I’ll be there too. We can both be out of it together.”
“Yeah, but . . . my vision for this doesn’t involve a guy like you.”
Her words hit me right in the center of my chest.
“What does that mean?” I asked slowly.
She sighed as if I were the dumbest kid in the world. “I can’t date the guy from Shady Acres who’s going to trade school. I need someone . . . who’s like what I want to be. You’re good in bed, Dean. Or closets, I should say. But that’s about it.”
“I can be more than just good in bed.”
She looked me up and down. “You’re hot and all, but trust me, no one else wants anything more than sex from you. Stick to what you’re good at. Very good at.”
Julie bit her lip, and I knew she was trying to steer me back to focusing on her. I’d spent weeks focusing on her, in all the ways.
I had a feeling she’d told everyone exactly what I was good at doing. My stomach churned as I saw the last few weeks in a new light.
Some girls were giving me double takes. A few had smiled in my direction, but I thought they were pitying smiles like they always had been.
Maybe they were flirty ones.
How many people knew of me as the fun guy? How many thought this was all I was good for?
That was the thing about a town like this. Once you were labeled, your fate was sealed. No one changed their minds.
I was suddenly the fun guy who was good in bed.
“Now that we’ve cleared things up—” She stepped closer and I smelled her perfume. “Can we continue?”
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say because my mind was still reeling. My heart hammered in my chest and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
That’s what all of these people thought of me.
I didn’t care about the gossip, but this one hurt.
Everyone here knew about Mom and Dad. They knew that they had raised me right.
Most of my classmates had been at Dad’s funeral, awkwardly offering their condolences.
How could they see what I came from and still gotten it wrong?
A few things happened all at once. I tried to pull away from Julie as the door to the closet she was reaching for sprang open.
A man stepped out. He was sporting a tool belt and a thinning hairline. His eyes went between us, and I had no doubts in my mind that he had heard the whole thing.
“Aren’t you a little young for this?”
Julie whirled around, her entire body tensed. “Oh my God. Sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here.”
“Always in the shadows I am.” He crossed his arms. “Now, you might wanna scram before someone else catches you.”
Julie didn’t have to be told twice. She darted down the hallway. The guy didn’t sound all that nice and I knew that I needed to make a break for it too.
My entire world had been pulled out from under me like a rug. I was moving slower than I should have been.
“You,” the man looked at me. “Hang on a sec. I wanna talk to you.”
“Technically, I didn’t break any rules.” Yet.
“I ain’t a teacher or a snitch, but that was a level of awkwardness that I didn’t wanna deal with.”
Great. My mortification was heard by a random stranger. “So I’m guessing the whole town will know by tomorrow . . .”
“Don’t worry, kid. I’m only a visitor.”
Despite everything, I let out a chuckle. “That’s one good thing, at least.”
He looked in the direction that Julie had run off in and sighed. “You know . . . she’s wrong. You’re a good kid . . . probably.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to try and make me feel better. I’ll get out of your way.” My vision went blurry with tears I didn’t want to shed as I tried to get the hell out of there.
“Now, hang on a second.” His hand landed on my shoulder. It reminded me of how Dad would stop me before I ran out the door. “Look, I don’t have any kids of my own so I’m shit at this, but you seem like you need a little pep talk.”
“I think I’d rather crawl into a hole and die, actually.”
“You’re young. Things’ll change. And you sound like you’ve got a whole life ahead of you.”
“You’d think I was throwing it away with going to trade school with the way she acted.”
“Don’t worry about the opinions of some girl. People need the trades and there’s good money in it.”
“I know. Everyone here is so worried about how they’re viewed. I hate it.”
I was starting to hate everyone here, actually. I didn’t realize how much I had started to resent this place until I was hurt by it. The selling of all the land and all of the change had caused micro cuts in my soul.
Julie had just broken it open.
“So, you said you’re wanting to be an electrician?” the man asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“That’s a good trade. I can’t do electrical myself because I find it way too complicated. You must be pretty smart.”
Despite myself, I smiled. Mom had never said anything bad about my career choice, mostly because I didn’t choose to go into firefighting like Dad had. I considered it, but I knew that Mom wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of it, especially after how Dad died.
Still, I wanted to do something that was tied to him. The fire that killed him was an electrical one. It was some kind of old wiring that should have been replaced a long time ago. If I went into this field, at least I could help people not make the same mistake.
“I hope you like electrical work, kid. Where are you going to school?”
“Nashville.” I thought I’d been excited before, but I knew now that I would be counting down the days.
“There’s a lot of good work there. It’s always growing. What’s your name?”
“Dean.”
“Well, Dean, I’ll give you my card, and if you make it through electrical school and need some work, give me a call.”
I slowly took it and read his name. Mom had taught me not to turn my nose up at honest work. I didn’t know this guy, but it couldn’t have been a bad idea to have connections.
“Thanks, Clyde. I’ll see you around.”
“Keep your head on straight, kid, and I’ll see you in a few years.” He nodded and walked away.
I was starting to think he was right.
I stood there for a long time thinking over everything that had just happened to me. The mixture of devastation and anger that was swirling low in my stomach was something I never wanted to feel again. I wasn’t sure if I could.
Things had been more fun when I was just messing around with Julie. It was the second I opened up and asked for more when it all went wrong.
Maybe things were better when I just had fun. Not because Julie was right, but because I didn’t have to feel this when someone turned me down.
I always thought I would have a love story like Mom and Dad did. But if this was what it felt like, then it wasn’t for me. Being something else sounded better. I could protect myself from pain, disappointment, and embarrassment.
The news of me asking Julie out would probably spread fast. People would be laughing for a long while, but they didn’t know that I had bigger plans. Plans outside of here. Once I was in Nashville, I would have a new chance to be who I wanted to be.
And that guy was someone who would never get rejected like that again.