Chapter 5 Grace #2
Even though I didn’t have an answer, I couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like with a baby.
I’d always wanted kids, but I wanted them with a partner that I was in love with who’d make the decision with me to have a family together.
The idea of tiny little feet running on my hardwood floors was always in my future, and even now I wanted it.
But I wasn’t sure if I wanted it like this.
And what was worse, I didn’t have my life together enough. There was no way I could have a baby.
The timer went off and both of us grabbed at the test. Jade got it first and flipped it over. In the seconds she stared at it, it felt like my life was at a tipping point. If there were two lines, everything would be changing.
“It’s nothing, right?” I asked, still clinging to the hope that things were still going to be normal. “I don’t know why we did this. Let’s just throw it away and—”
“That is the most positive test I’ve ever seen, Grace.”
I froze for all of one second before I clambered to get the test in my own hands. Two pink lines stared at me.
I could only stare back. The line glowed. I was pregnant. Very pregnant.
And it was Dean’s.
My ears rang. I could’ve passed out.
What had I done? Why had I said yes to that second time? Why had I said yes at all? I should have known better. Hell, I had.
I’d stepped out of line, and this was what I got.
“Wow, so . . . congratulations? Condolences? What are we feeling here?”
“I’m pregnant,” I said slowly.
“Yeah, very. Dean was in town like over three months ago too.”
“Oh my God. I’m in my second trimester!” What all had I missed? There had to be tests and ultrasounds. Fuck, was the baby even okay?
“That narrows down options.”
I turned to her. “Options?”
“If you don’t want this . . . we should talk about those options.”
I immediately knew what she was talking about. It wasn’t a terrible thing to consider, especially with my financial status, but the second I did, I was shaking my head.
“No,” I said. “That’s not for me.”
“All right,” Jade replied. “Now we figure out the rest.”
The rest. She said those two words like they were easy.
They were not.
Did Dean even want kids? Would he be pissed when I reached out to him? Would I be doing this alone? God, this was so bad.
I’d spent my whole adult life telling Brooke to use protection and stay safe. And now I was the one pregnant?
No one would ever let me live it down.
But Jade had caught on to my panic and her hands landed on my shoulders.
“Grace, you need to breathe.”
I couldn’t. How had this happened?
“Whatever you’re thinking isn’t important,” she said. “The last thing you or the baby needs is you having a panic attack.”
That snapped me out of it. My eyes locked on hers. She exaggerated her breaths to make sure I could hear them. Compared to my choppy breathing, they were at a snail’s pace. But I followed her. My heart rate didn’t return to normal, but at least I wasn’t teetering on the edge.
“It’s gonna be okay,” she said. She didn’t usually sound like this. Jade had always been sharp edges and cutting words. If she was being soft and kind, I must have really needed it. “We can figure this out. No one will know, if that’s what you want.”
“I think they’ll have to know eventually.”
“For now, Grace. They don’t have to know for now.”
I hung my head, feeling like a weight was crushing me.
“Everyone is gonna freak out.” I drew out every word.
“Who gives a fuck about them?”
“I do. You know I do.”
She huffed. “I get it. And you can’t just turn it off. But there are higher priorities right now.”
Yeah, like doctor’s appointments. Telling Dean.
Ugh.
“So, what kind of daddy is Dean? Daddy . . . or Daddy?”
I wished I could have laughed at her sentence, but there was no humor in me while I was under the weight of this. “I have no clue. He doesn’t do relationships. He made that very clear.” I’d even promised him he wouldn’t hear from me after our tryst.
What a fool I was.
“Well, a baby is different than a relationship. Maybe he’ll surprise you?” She said it as a question.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it. This is bad.”
“It’s not ideal, but we’ll figure it out. One thing at a time.”
“I need to call my doctor to confirm this.”
“Henry could—”
I glared.
Jade’s eyes went wide. “Nope. Not anyone in town. Your gyno is somewhere else, right?”
“Knoxville.”
“So, this appointment. Want me to close my shop?”
“No, both of ours being closed will only make it worse. You know how people talk around here. I’ll go by myself. Then once I know things are . . . more real, I’ll find Dean to tell him.”
I had a headache blooming behind my eyes, and all I wanted to do was sleep.
Jade picked up on it. “All right, you have a plan. So now you need to go home and rest. I’ll put a message in the Facebook group that you pooped yourself and you’ll be out for the day.”
“Does it have to be that reason?”
“Do you want me to say the real one?”
That was worse. “No, but make it classy.”
“Oh, you know me.” She adjusted her fishnets to remove what I could only assume was a wedgie. “I’m the epitome of class.”
I told myself I wouldn’t look into Dean until after my appointment, but it was a lie. I didn’t do well with sitting idle while my life changed. I wanted to have some sort of way to contact him if the time eventually came.
It took me far too many Google searches to find Dean’s business. I’d had to dig deep into Wren’s show that she worked on to find him, and when I did, that relaxed, carefree smile stared back at me in one of his pictures on his website.
And I was terrified.
He’d said no relationships, but we would always have one now. Whether he wanted me or not.
And I didn’t know how to tell him.
In the strangest way, it felt like I failed. I wanted to be the easygoing woman who could match his energy. I wanted to have one night and then move on.
But that wasn’t me. I didn’t do well with surface-level talk, and things ended. I wanted them to last. I wanted to get to know someone fully.
Dean didn’t, though. And I respected that. I let him leave.
And now I had to find him again.
“Are you looking that guy up?” a voice asked. “God, you’re a terrible one-night stand.”
I jumped. “Brooke? I thought you were back in Nashville.”
“My roomie kicked me out.” She looked at her nails. “I figured I would crash here.”
“You got kicked out again?”
“It’s fine. She’ll get over it. She always does.”
I opened my mouth to tell her she needed to try to make it work the best she could. But I was pregnant by a playboy. Was I in any position to tell her how to live her life?
Brooke had figured that I’d had a one-night stand when I came home with messy hair after she extended her stay by a day.
She’d been baffled that he’d even gone for me, especially after turning someone like her down.
I’d told her it was rude to judge someone else’s interests before she grilled me on the details, but I couldn’t deny that she knew me well, and she at least congratulated me in the end for breaking my record and doing something for myself for once.
If only I had known how it would end up.
“So,” Brooke said. “Are you ignoring the one cardinal rule about hookups?”
“I was just getting some information.”
“Sure. I bet you wanna see him again, don’t you?”
I had wanted to see him again. I’d thought about the sex a lot. Now I dreaded the idea of talking to him.
“You should watch some TV and relax.” It was a desperate play to get her off my back. I hated letting her have the TV when I was home since I hated the shows she loved, but I’d suffer.
For a second, it worked. Her eyes widened. But then they narrowed.
“What don’t you want me to know?”
“Nothing,” I said, turning away from her and closing the tab.
“You haven’t mentioned him since he left.” Brooke tapped her chin. “And you look like you gained weight again.”
“Really?” I asked. “You know I hate it when you mention my weight.”
“It’s just an observation.” Brooke rolled her eyes and then zeroed in on me again. “When did you get your last period?”
I should have said it was recent. A lie was better than her knowing, but it must have read plain as day on my face, because she picked up on it.
“Did you never get it?” She gasped. “Are you pregnant? Is Dean the dad?”
I sighed and then nodded.
“Oh my God.” She pushed me out of the way and brought Dean’s profile back up. “He’s popular.”
“I could see that when he made friends with everyone his few weeks here.”
“He’s younger too. He graduated eight years ago. That makes him twenty-six. No way he’s ready to settle down.”
“You’re doing a great job of making me feel better before I have to tell him the news.”
“No. No way. You can’t tell him.”
I blinked. “Why not?”
“Have you learned nothing from me?”
“From you? As far as I know, you never got pregnant by a playboy.”
Brooke rolled her eyes. “No, but Mom did.”
I sucked in a breath. We never talked about Dad. He’d been a playboy too. A man never tied down. He came to town twice. Stuck around for a bit, but when having kids lost its luster, he was gone.
“Do you really think he would do that?”
“First of all, he’s a man. Yes, I think he would. He’s also younger and sleeps around. Jude warned me about him after I mentioned he was in town. He’s a heartbreaker.”
“Jude knew about him?”
“He broke the director’s heart in season one. She’d begged him to give her a chance and all he wanted was a night of fun.”
My mouth went dry. He’d been nice to me, but our relationship had been short and he’d left just like he said he would.
“Listen, the baby is yours.” Brooke shook her head. “You’re the one growing it. He just shot right once and got you pregnant.”
“Do you have to say it like that?”
“Am I wrong?”
She wasn’t. “No. I just don’t wanna think about it.”
“You’ll have to when you have it.”
Just like Jade, she already knew my decision. “You think I’m keeping it?”
“You’re a mom anyway. It may as well be to your own kid.”
I felt a pocket of warmth for my sister. So much of our relationship was strained, but there were times I knew she cared about me.
“How do you think the town is gonna react when they find out?” I asked.
She laughed. “Oh, I don’t wanna be you right now. Have fun with that. They’re gonna be so in your ass, but at least it’s not me this time.”
All the warm feelings cooled. “That’s helpful.”
“It’s the truth,” she said with a shrug. “Sorry, Grace, but you’ve totally ruined your good girl reputation.”
I shut my laptop. “You’re so great at pep talks.”
She didn’t sense my sarcasm. “Thanks. I love giving them.”