Chapter 36 Dean
DEAN
Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch
Marjorie Brown: The winds in the east . . . something’s brewing. And YOU can tell us what it is after you’ve joined our weather-watching class!
Comments:
Hu Gh: I don’t need no class. I have a rock. If it’s wet, it’s raining. If it’s smoking, it’s hot. If it’s gone, then there’s a ’nado!
Marjorie Brown: That’s nice, buddy. This is for people who want to know about the tornado before it’s coming for their ass!
Hu Gh: I’m used to things coming for my ass.
Jade Clark: !!! Is no one gonna say anything?
Marjorie Brown: Nah, that sentence speaks for itself.
Staying away from Grace was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. My body craved hers. Not only for sex, but for everything.
I wanted to do this right, though. And I stuck to my guns throughout dinner and even as we watched a movie together. Grace kept glancing at me, as if still unsure if this were real, but it was.
The fear I felt told me it was.
I didn’t understand why it still lingered. I’d done the hard thing. I told her that I liked her and she had said that she liked me back. I wanted this more than anything, and if I hadn’t hidden from love for so long, I might have jumped into it with both feet.
Maybe there was something else holding me back.
I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was a buzzing in the back of my head.
It told me I was doing something wrong. Did I tell her my feelings in the wrong way?
Was I expecting her to change her mind at any given moment?
I wasn’t sure, but it lingered even after I went to bed and got up the next morning.
I was determined to push past it. It made sense that my fears would stick around. I’d had my heart broken, after all. But I wouldn’t let that ruin this.
Nothing would ruin this.
Grace always wore incredible outfits, but today, she had gone overboard. She was in a light blue dress that showed off both her curves and her growing belly. Her curls were in perfect ringlets around her face, and she traded the light makeup for a different look that accentuated her cheekbones.
I found her gorgeous every single day I was around her, but this was something else.
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
She turned and hitched her purse onto her shoulder. “A little bit. Do you like it?”
“Like it? I feel like you’re torturing me.”
“You’re the one who set the stupid rule. You even slept on a twin mattress instead of in my bed with me.”
“You play dirty.”
“I never claimed to be anything else.”
When I was in front of her, my fears were quiet. This felt natural, just like so much had with her.
“You know, after this, everyone will know.”
“Yeah, they will.” Her smile dimmed a little. “Are you having second thoughts about that? We could go out of town, if you prefer.”
“Even though they’ll all be mad about losing the bet on us getting together, I’ll deal with it.” I walked toward her and grabbed her hand. “I’m not having second thoughts about you, though.”
Her grin returned. “Let’s do this. Consequences and all.”
“You know, whoever turned you down a long time ago was an idiot. This side of you is great.”
“I’m a little rusty. Hopefully, it’ll get better from here.”
She nodded and turned toward the door, and it was only when her back was to me that my smile faded.
The fear was back.
It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like I had changed my feelings for Grace overnight. It wasn’t like I regretted telling her how I felt.
But I was just terrified.
The ride into town was quiet, and I wondered if maybe my fears were because of telling the town. But when I thought about them seeing us together, it didn’t bother me.
I had my issues with most people here, but I wouldn’t lie and say that I didn’t think about them while I was gone. Despite my hatred of small towns, I was curious about what they would say and think.
We pulled up to The Reserved Bean and I once again got Grace’s door for her. There was a line down the sidewalk, as there usually was. Theo was now one of the most popular men in town.
While we stood in line, I grabbed her hand. There was no fanfare, no one calling us out . . . for all of two seconds.
Then I saw Jade walking across the square. She took one look at us and her jaw dropped.
And she walked straight into a potted plant.
“Oh, Henry’s plants.” Grace bit her lip. “Maybe I should have given her a warning.”
I wondered if Jade would run over to ask us directly what was happening. Thankfully, she had some decorum, because instead, she pulled out her phone.
And Grace’s buzzed a minute later.
“She’s asking if we fucked. I get to say no.”
“Please tell me you’ll give her more context than that.”
“I’ll also add that I’m not single.”
The second Grace sent the text message, I heard Jade call out “Yes!” and then she fist-pumped. That got a few other townspeople’s attention.
At first, they seemed curious about Jade. That something happened with her. I didn’t know her well enough to decide what it could even be for, but the town did.
Once I saw her shake her head, that was when eyes turned to us.
“Dammit!” Dale said from the front of Food ‘n’ Things. “This means Hugh won again!”
“He has to be swindling us!” Tammy yelled. “Did he interfere? I call foul!”
“Or you should all mind your business!” Grace yelled back.
I could have sworn that I saw Tammy’s cheek’s color from all the way across the square.
“You’re mean to them.”
“I’ve known them my whole life. I get to be.
” She shrugged and it hit me how nice it was that she didn’t try to preach to me all the benefits of small towns.
She was realistic about it. While she obviously liked it enough to stay here, there were things that weren’t perfect.
People who weren’t perfect. “Also, Kerry’s not here.
She gets to find out in the Facebook group for once. ”
“I’d kill to see her response.”
“Don’t worry, Jade’ll send it to us.”
My eyes found Grace’s best friend and she gave us both a thumbs-up. It was a far cry from a death threat.
The first night that I spent with Grace should have been one of the best ones of my life.
I had finally gotten what I wanted. I got to sleep next to the woman that I cared about, and I wasn’t alone.
Sure, we didn’t have sex yet, but it was only because Grace crashed earlier than usual.
She tried to convince me, but I knew her sleep was more important than anything else.
There was always tomorrow.
Or so I thought.
Getting to sleep was easy. I had her in my arms and everything was perfect.
But then I woke up with my chest heaving, memories dancing behind my eyelids that I swore I had forgotten. There was the sound of an endless heartbreak for person you were meant to be with forever.
I hadn’t had a nightmare in years, not since I was a kid. I used to run to Mom and have her stay with me, but she wasn’t here.
I should have woken up Grace, but I already felt guilty that she was so exhausted from her long walk. And I knew there was something about her that was the center of all of my fears.
Standing, I tried to walk through the house to work it off. When that didn’t work, I walked up and down the driveway.
And then I knew I needed to bring out the big guns.
I left a note for Grace, saying I needed some space. And I drove off.
I didn’t know where I was going, only that I needed time to think. Roads stretched out before me. They’d gone from interstates to highways. I didn’t realize I was in Shady Acres until I was at the old stoplight I used to sit at when learning how to drive.
Mom would sit in the passenger’s seat, yelling at me to stay in the lane and to hit the brakes way before I felt like I should. In the end, she would always apologize and say she wished Dad were here to teach me. He’d been calmer than her, apparently.
I wasn’t sure how I ended up here, but there was something about the weight in my chest that made me continue on. I turned right, just like I always had when heading home from school.
Then, the roads became one lane each way with fields on either side. One parcel had been sold for the first strip mall.
Now all of it was developed.
Every bit of what I knew had been razed to the ground in favor of shops and manicured perfection.
Why the fuck had I come here? Was I a glutton for punishment?
I ended up in front of Mom’s house. A lot had changed. The field where I picked flowers for Julie was even gone. Houses had inched closer to hers, and it wasn’t the same place I grew up in.
It was the middle of the night, and the last thing I expected to see was the lights being on. Mom had never enjoyed late nights when I was a kid, but then again, I hadn’t spent a lot of nights with her ever since I’d grown up either.
I avoided this place and, by proxy, her, like the plague.
I got out of the truck before I could drive away. What was she up to?
And before I could think twice about it, I walked up and knocked on her door.
“Dean?” she said as she opened it. “What the hell are you doing all the way out here in Shady Acres at this hour?”
Her shock made sense. I’d driven hours to be here.
“Just . . . checking in.” My eyes roamed over all the walls, which for the first time in my life, were bare. “What are you doing? Are you painting?”
“Um, something like that,” she said. “Come in.”
When I did, my gaze traveled to the living room where I saw even more things were gone. “Why are there boxes everywhere?”
She swallowed. “You never answered my question, you know.”
“Are you moving?” I asked.
Her lips pressed together. “Dean . . .”
“Mom . . .”
She sighed. “Not yet. But I want to.”
My emotions were already at the edge, but this tipped it over. “Seriously? Did all this new shit finally price you out? I could help you with the taxes, or the higher bills. Just tell me what you need.”
“I don’t need anything, Dean. Except maybe a job, but that’s not happening here.”
“We can find you something.”