143. Someone’s in a bad mood
143
SOMEONE’S IN A BAD MOOD
Daire
“Don’t do that, Nate. You’re making a mess. Let me do it.”
My mate was frying fish, and oil was spattering over the tile splash back. I enjoyed eating fried fish, but the cooking was a bit ewww.
“I knew we should have bought that deep fryer.”
My mate folded his arms as I shoved him out of the way. “Oh, you mean the deep fryer I said was a waste of money?” He tapped his lips which irritated me. “And why did I say that? Let me think. I’ve got it. Because we hardly ever do any deep frying.”
He was right but I refused to admit it and that pissed me off even more. “But it would have saved time, both the cooking and cleaning.”
Nate began setting the table and from the corner of my eye, I noted he got out cutlery, plates, and napkins. But as I was being pissy, I said, “Not those napkins. Use the yellow ones. They’re much nicer.”
My mate shot me a glance that said Really ? Followed by my bear saying Really ?
What would you know about napkins ? I asked.
My grizzly shrugged and would have gone back to sleep but the fishy aroma that was wafting from the frying pan had him wanting to shift.
Not tonight .
That put my beast in a mood. We were bad mood buddies.
Nate screwed up his nose. “Daire, the fish is burning.”
Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity fuck. “I like it well done.” Shit, I’d ruined the food and I was acting like a toddler having a tantrum. Even Charlie was more mature. I turned off the gas and eyed the smoking pile of what was supposed to be our dinner.
The smell was making me want to puke so I opened a window and stuck my head outside. It wasn’t enough. Within seconds, I was on the porch, gulping in mouthfuls of air while trying to rid my nostrils of the stink of burned fish. I was close to puking but held it together.
Sitting on a chair, I put my head in my hands. Nate and I were so lucky in many ways. We were mated, lived in a nice place, we both had fulfilling jobs and yet the one thing I wanted that I’d give up everything else for, I couldn’t have. Our lives had been consumed by making a baby these past months. At least mine had. Nate wanted a child but he was prepared to wait for it to happen.
Much as I wanted to sit on the porch and sulk, I had to go back and apologize. Gods, I didn’t want to. I wanted to stamp my feet, pummel and punch the wall, and yell.
Don’t .
My bear was more mature than me. But he was right. I had to omega up and go back to Nate. And apologize. When I walked in the door, Nate was tapping on his phone. He ignored me and I hoped he wasn’t booking a hotel room for himself.
When he finally spoke it was to tell me he’d ordered dinner. “It’ll be here in fifteen minutes.” He tossed the fish in the garbage. But that simple act annoyed me. I grabbed the pan from his hand and succeeded in splashing my arm with oil. Luckily it’d had a while to cool while I was out on the porch sulking.
“Fuck.” I slammed the pan down. I had to dispose of the oil but half of it was still in the pan and the rest was in the sink. I was running out of fucks. “Nate, I can’t do this any more.”
“What?” There was a tremor in his voice. “What are you saying?”
I wasn’t sure. I loved him with all my heart but the last months neither of us were happy. Something had to change and that something was me.
“I don’t know.” That was probably the most honest thing I’d said lately. “I have to get out of here.”
“Are you leaving me?” he asked in a voice little more than a whisper.
“No. I love you but I need space tonight. I hate myself. Every word out of my mouth is coated in venom.” Taking a pillow from the bedroom and a spare quilt, I got my phone and keys. “I’ll be in 3B for the night.” I could have paid for an expensive hotel or gone to the lake house, but I needed no distractions. 3B had a bed and it was clean. And while I wasn’t saying it, I wanted to be nearby. Close to my mate.
I gave him a kiss and after one glance at his devastated face, I left. It was a shitty thing to do but if I stayed, we’d be arguing more than we had been.
Ivor was just coming in as I stomped up the manor front steps. He took one look at my face and didn’t say a word. Ivor understood my moods having shared 1A with me. Me carrying a quilt and a pillow would have given my friend a hint that something was wrong. I shook my head and tore up the two flights of stairs.
Shoving the bedding into 3B, I went onto the roof and leaned on the railing, studying the house next door. The one where I lived with Nate and where Nate was right now. The angle was wrong and I couldn’t see inside. I was on the roof and there were a couple of stories beneath me whereas Nate was on the first floor. The light was on in the kitchen and the bedroom. I was tempted to text him but when I typed out, I’m sorry , I deleted it.
Back in 3B, I wrapped myself in the quilt and crawled onto the bed. My stomach grumbled and it was then I remembered I hadn’t eaten. Should have thought this through. I could order food and I got my phone and scrolled through the food delivery app.
“Knock knock. Can I come in? I come bearing food.”
“Nate?”
“No, it’s the Easter Bunny.” He wandered into the bedroom, a pizza box in his hand. My mouth watered. I’d been a complete ass and he’d brought me food. I thought I felt bad about my behavior before, but now I felt worse.
“Babe, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I know. But let’s eat first and then we talk.”
We sat cross-legged on the bed while Nate regaled me with stories from work. I liked this, just being with my mate and talking about our day. I’d prefer if we were at home and not in 3B but the place had memories.
“We need to stop trying for a baby.” Nate wasn’t holding back. He went straight to the point. “Before we decided to get pregnant we were happy. But that happiness has been crushed out of us since we’ve been trying and failing.”
He was making sense but it was a huge leap to actually do it. It was our dream to be dads, but maybe being Charlie’s guardian and uncles to the manor kids would have to be enough.
“It’s mostly my fault. I’ve been a bear.”
Nate laughed at my bear reference. “I haven’t been on a picnic, either.” He pulled a stray thread from the quilt. “Can we be happy? Just us two. Am I enough for you?”
His words were a kick in the gut. I stroked his cheek and inhaled his pizza breath. “Always.”
“Then let’s quit because we’re both miserable.”
And with that it was over. We both flopped back on the bed and the pizza box bounced.
“Wanna have sex?” Nate asked.
“I’m still hungry and this mattress is lumpy.”
My mate sat up and grabbed the empty pizza box. “How about we go out for pie and ice cream and when we get home, I’ll fuck you in the shower?”
“Race you to the car.”
Anthony was coming up the stairs and I almost knocked him over. “Is a new tenant moving into 3B?” he shouted after me. “Is he a shifter?”
Now that our human friend knew shifters existed, he was always asking who was and wasn’t a shifter .
“No,” I yelled as I jumped in the car and Nate leaped into the passenger seat. We were both panting and giggling. We hadn’t laughed like that in forever and Gods it was good.
Later that night after we’d had sex and were finally in bed, I thought back to what we’d given up. There would be days ahead when I’d regret our decision and I’d want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. But going forward, the future was bright and we’d decided to go on vacation, just the two of us without the manor family. Somewhere warm and tropical where we’d lie by the pool sipping cocktails.
“Life is good,” I mumbled as I snuggled up to my mate and my eyes slid shut.