145. Who would have thought?
145
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
Daire
“What are you doing?” Neil asked as he pushed Charlie’s stroller onto the porch. My human friend’s baby bump was still small but he looked adorable.
“Enjoying the morning before I have to start work.” I’d woken up feeling nauseous and once I decided I wasn’t going to puke, I needed fresh air. I checked the phone. “Do you normally walk Charlie this early?”
“Sometimes.” He yawned. “Depends what time he wakes up.”
I kneeled down and handed Charlie a toy he’d thrown on the deck. His favorite game. And then I picked up the stroller and carried it down the steps and onto the path. I made a face. Not at Charlie but because there was a terrible metallic taste on my tongue.
“It’s not that bad, is it?” Neil hadn’t missed my expression.
“Huh?”
“Did you forget to brush your teeth?”
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Your face. It reminded me of when I was…” His voice trailed away and he turned his head and studied a car driving past. He changed the subject. “Wanna come with us to the park?”
Truthfully, I preferred to climb back into bed and sleep the day away. But I had to be at work in a couple of hours so there was no point. “Sure. Why not?”
Neil and I chatted to Charlie as we made our way there. He mentioned a woman walking her dog. A butterfly hovering over a flowerbed. A car driving past. The little boy talked non stop and squealed at the butterfly.
Once we arrived at the park, Neil took Charlie out of the stroller and I told my friend to sit while I ran after the little boy. Neil’s aim was to tire his son so he’d have a mid-morning nap, usually while Neil was working in the manor with Anthony with Charlie asleep in a crib beside him.
The little boy had more energy than me and his piercing squeal as I chased him around a bush had me wanting to sink onto the grass and close my eyes.
“Charlie, want a snack?” This snack was part of Charlie’s breakfast but when he woke at the crack of dawn, he was eager to get outside rather than eat.
I had a good life with my friends, job and my mate and in the last few weeks, I’d learned to appreciate what I had rather than focusing on what I couldn’t have.
“Maybe you should sit in the stroller and Charlie can push you home.” Neil’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “You look beat.”
I lay back on the grass while Charlie kneeled beside me and offered me fruit. The smell of freshly cut apple had me jumping up and racing to the closest bush before puking into it. Charlie howled, and Neil comforted him as I wiped my mouth and wondered how I’d drag myself home.
“It’s okay, my love.” Neil soothed his son while he kept his eyes on me.
When Charlie quieted, Neil popped him in the stroller. “Can you make it home, Daire?”
Could I? My belly was all jumbly but I wasn’t about to throw up again. The walk home was a blur with me not saying anything. Even Neil and Charlie were quiet.
With Neil being pregnant, I had to carry both Charlie and the stroller up the stairs but my friend said to leave the stroller downstairs for now and the little boy could go up by himself as long as Neil was holding his hand.
“Come up with us,” he said. “I have something to show you.”
I almost said no, because my bed was calling me. And Nate was there, probably just arrived home as he was doing night shoots this week for a new makeup campaign. But Neil insisted and we each held one of Charlie’s hands and eventually made it up to the first floor with the little guy constantly saying, “I can do it myself.”
Once Charlie was in his highchair and Neil checked that Martin was in the bedroom drinking his coffee and Toby was in the shower, he pulled out a drawer and then slammed it shut, as though he’d changed his mind about something. He got Charlie cereal, put bread in the toaster, and then sat me down at the kitchen island.
He chewed his bottom lip and glared at Martin as he came into the kitchen and kissed Charlie good morning. One look at his mate’s face and the fox shifter waved at me and scuttled into the bedroom saying he had to get ready to take Toby to school and would head to work after that.
“We don’t have much time.” Neil took my hand. “I should have done this later when everyone had left.” He pinched his nose.
My mind immediately went to the state of his and Martin’s relationship. From a distance everything seemed fine but no one really knew what went on behind closed doors.
“Baby okay,” I asked. While I was sure whatever was bothering him wasn’t to do with his pregnancy, but I had to ask.
“ My baby?” He put a hand on his belly. “Yeah. No problem.”
I noted his emphasis on the word ‘my’. “Someone else we know having a difficult pregnancy?” Now that Ryder was well, he and Ivor had mentioned trying for another child, though not straight away.
“Ummm…” He was interrupted by Toby shooting out of his room and grabbing an apple and a piece of toast.
“Hi, Daire. Bye, Daire.” He blew Neil a kiss. “Love you TD. Love you, little bro.”
“Love you too.”
Charlie waved his cereal-covered spoon at his brother and Martin and Toby were out the door, after Martin kissed his mate and little boy, and the fox shifter mouthed, “I’ll call you.”
My curiosity peaked and once the door closed and Charlie was occupied with smearing cereal over his face, I turned to Neil. “It doesn’t take a mind-reader to know you’re holding something back.”
“I’m worried that if I bring it up and I’m wrong, it’ll crush you.”
That was doubtful. The one issue I’d been devastated about was not getting pregnant. And while it still hurt, I was working through the issues with my therapist. Nate and I were attending joint sessions as well as individual ones.
“Think back to the past few weeks, Daire. You and Nate have been fighting a lot.” When I made a face, he added, “We can hear you.” He wiped Charlie’s face and hands and put him on the floor. “You’re fairly even-tempered, except when someone messes with you, but you’ve been losing your temper multiple times a day.”
That was true but I put it down to the same issue: giving up trying to get pregnant.
“You’re nauseous and you’re tired all the time.”
“Yeah, so?”
He yanked open the drawer and pulled out something I couldn’t see. “Please don’t hate me for suggesting this.”
He hadn’t suggested anything, so I said nothing. He placed what was in his hand on the kitchen island. I blinked, unsure what I was seeing, and yet the objects were so familiar to me. I used to have a stash in our bathroom but Nate and I had tossed them on the advice of the therapist. That had been hard and yet also freeing.
I pushed the stool back with such force, it tipped over and the noise made Charlie cry. “I’m sorry little guy but I have to go home.”
Neil put a hand on my arm. “You’re upset, I get it. But I’m your friend and you always want me to be honest with you, right?”
I nodded, unable to form a response, while tears filled my eyes.
“It’s up to you, obviously, but I’d go home to Nate and take the test. Or if you don’t want him upset if it’s negative, take it here.” He shoved one test in my hand and without saying goodbye to him or Charlie, I walked down the stairs, the test crushed in my fist.
Nate was asleep. I sent up a quick thank you to the universe for night shifts and slipped into the bathroom. I considered waking up my mate but if I wasn’t pregnant, he didn’t need to know about it. I’d share that with the therapist later in the week and probably feel bad for not telling my mate what I’d done.
One last time. I did what I had to do and sat on the edge of the bath, the phone in my hand, waiting as the minutes ticked by. Not wanting to disturb Nate, I turned off the alarm seconds before it went off.
Taking a deep breath, I peered at the test. Two pink lines. Something I’d never seen before. My heart jolted and my bear squeed. He’s never done that before. Ever. What if it was a false positive? That would be worse than all the negative results.
“Neil,” I whispered into the phone. “I need another test… just to confirm.” Now it was my friend’s turn to squee. I met him at the door, not wanting him to knock or ring the doorbell. He had Charlie on his hip and the three of us stayed in the bathroom while waiting for the result of the second test. Even Charlie was quiet.
“Two pink lines!” I stared at both the tests, trying to take in that I was pregnant.
“Is this a private party or can anyone join in?”
“Nate!”