As the World Falls

Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

J ames

I know something is wrong the minute I wake up. I’d only slept with someone else overnight once in my whole life—last night, with my Cecilia. I’d already gotten too used to it, because when I look to my side, she’s not here, and I feel…empty.

I rush out of bed, scowering the room, and then head down the hall to my living room and kitchen. My shoulder was aching like a mother fucker, and I should probably be taking it easy, but that’s something I never do, and the only thing going through my head is that she left me. Again. She got scared. Again. That this time…she might not come back like she has so far.

I stop as I pass the kitchen counter, seeing a piece of paper lying in the center of it. I pick it up, reading Cecilia’s handwriting.

“There is something I had to take care of. I’ll be back in Boston.”

My fist crunches the paper in my hand. I pull out my cell phone from my pocket and dial her number, but it goes straight to voicemail. Then I dial Tobias, who picks up on the second ring.

“Where is she?” I growl into the phone.

“Uh… Good morning to you, too, jackass. Where is who?”

“Your sister. I woke up, and she was gone. She left me some vague fucking note.”

He chuckles, making me want to put my fist through the phone and connect it to his throat. “That’s Lia for you. She flies by the sails of her own wind or whatever the fuck.”

“You’re telling me you don’t know where she is?”

“No. I haven’t heard from her.”

“She said she’d be back in Boston. I’m heading there now, but I want you out there, too. She apparently doesn’t realize her life is still in danger.”

“Fuck me. Copy that.”

I hang up the phone, exhaling sharply as I try to calm myself down. I call her phone again, and once again, it goes to voicemail. I run back to my room and open my closet to change, but I stop when I see my hangers spread out. I always kept them neatly one inch apart from each other. I look back into my room and see Cecilia’s dress still on the floor. I smile, grabbing one of my white dress shirts out of my closet and then a black suit.

She’d better hope I still find her wearing my clothes, and maybe I won’t punish her too hard.

I took my jet as fast as I could to Boston. The entire way there, I felt consumed with fear over losing her or not being able to keep her happy, but I never stopped to think about how I would.

What kind of life could I give her? She’s made it clear she wasn’t comfortable with my lifestyle. Was it selfish of me to make her live it? Would I be able to commit to her long-term? Marry her? And what if she wanted children? I wasn’t sure if that was something I wanted.

But despite all the threatening questions taking over me, the only thing I felt wholeheartedly was that no matter what the answers were to them, I knew I wouldn’t ever be able to let her go. Was it selfish? Yes. But I couldn’t help but be anything but selfish when it came to her. I wanted to get lost in her and her in me. There was simply no other way for me to exist anymore.

When I arrive in Boston, I go straight to her apartment building, hoping to find her there. I go inside, using the key I may have made with or without her permission.

It’s quiet when I go inside, and I can feel that she’s not here. Her presence isn’t lighting up the place like it does anywhere that she is. I walk around, looking for an idea of where she may be. I go into her bathroom and find it humid, with the mirror still slightly fogged. So, she had recently been here.

I walk out of her room, looking around some more, spotting what looks like a new jewelry organizer on top of her dresser. I gaze at her pieces, finding them more eccentric than the jewelry I sell. She had lots of floral or nature-themed pieces and even neon plastic earrings. Personally, I have always despised costume-type jewelry. Still, I find myself picturing her in the giant bright orange round earrings that look like orange slices, knowing I wouldn’t prefer her any other way. They reminded me of the small joys in life, the things I forgot to appreciate until I met her. Such simple things that could bring a smile to her face. Her ridiculous fruit earrings are just one of the many reasons I love her.

I head to the library next, and she damn well better hope I find her there because now I’m missing her, and I don’t handle that particular emotion well.

I’m there within five minutes, striding up the stairs two at a time and barreling through the door. I stop at the entrance, my gaze flying around the expanse of the library in front of me. I look over at the front desk, finding it empty. Movement behind it catches my attention, and I look at the windows behind it through the cracks of the blinds. What I see makes my heart feel like it actually freezes to a stop in my chest.

I watch Lance's hands cup Cecilia’s face, his mouth on hers. I watch as she shuffles backward and the way he keeps himself attached to her in the process. Panic engulfs me, and it’s like I can’t breathe. It feels like the world is falling around me, and I would be close to going with it, but then I see her eyes snap open. Her face curves in disgust, and her hands fly to his arms, trying to push him off her.

I’m moving—flying behind the desk and into the office. The door crashes open, slamming so hard against the wall that a crack slices up through the middle of it. Lance jumps at the noise, and I watch Cecilia use the leverage to push him completely off her. Her hand flies to her mouth in disbelief, and tears fill her eyes, and it’s then that I lose every last shred of patience.

I’m on him in seconds. My fist connects to his jaw, punching him and making him stagger back a step. I grab onto his shirt, slamming him against the wall, not giving a damn that he was already injured by the looks of the sling on his arm.

“If you fucking ever touch her against her will again,” I snarl, my voice inhumane and beast-like, “I will personally end your life with a smile on my face. Do you understand me? If you ever touch her, if you go near her, there is nowhere you could go that I wouldn’t find you and end your existence.” For a moment, I’m flooded with panic at the sheer violence I’ve never felt inside of me, but I eat it up, swallow it down as I promise the man in my arms death.

Blood coats his mouth as he lifts his drooping head to meet my gaze. “You’re a crook. I know you’re manipulating her.”

My hand latches around his throat, pulling a strangled gasp from him. “She—is—mine. I don’t care how you believe she is. Understand that she is. Deal with it, or I will kill you.”

“James,” I hear Cecilia’s small voice behind me. I breathe out, tightening my grip on his throat, finding comfort in the choking noises it creates from him. Then I release him. He drops to the floor like a pathetic rat, and I turn around, facing her.

“Yes, babe?”

Her lips tighten, her jaw popping as she glares at me. “Let's go. Now.”

“Disobedient and domineering today, aren’t we, little owl?”

She shakes her head, walking past me. She stops momentarily, glaring down at Lance, who sits upright on the floor, panting heavily, before she continues out the door. I follow her out, not sparing him any more attention when she clearly beckons all of it right now.

I follow her outside, amused by how she stares daggers at me from the passenger side of my car but still gets inside and buckles herself in. I sit in the driver's seat, start the car, and head to our home. She sits with her arms crossed over her chest the entire way back, not saying a word as she stares straight ahead.

That was fine. There would be plenty of stuff to say…after.

Once I park in front of our house, she bolts out of the car and storms inside. I smirk, following after her once more. She flies through the double doors leading onto the patio. Each door smacks the walls and swings closed before I burst through them.

“Is there a reason you’re treating our home like your teenage bedroom door?”

She spins on me. “You mean like how you stormed into my office at work?”

“I’m sorry. Was I interrupting you and your friend?”

Her eyes look down now, and she deflates a little. “That’s not what it looked like. I promise you.”

I watch her for a moment, noting how she looks genuinely sad and how her fingers now fidget with the waistband of her skirt. “I believe you,” I tell her, “But it doesn’t change the fact that you were there in the first place.”

Her eyes snap to mine with a new defiance that has me smirking again. She could turn it on and off so quickly. “That’s my job. How could you be mad about that?”

“Did you have work today?” I ask her.

“No, but?—”

“Were you not under clear orders to not travel without a guard?”

“Yes, but?—”

“And have I not made it clear enough that your life is in danger, and yet, here you are, just out, walking the streets without a care in the world?”

“I had something to do,” she says sternly.

I lean against the stone siding, crossing my arms over my chest as I stare at her. “I would love to know what was so important that you had to leave my bed after making love for the first time and put yourself in danger.”

“I had to tell Lance I was in love with you,” she yells. I push off the wall, standing straighter as her unexpected words plow into my chest. “Are you happy now?” she snaps again. “Is that a good enough reason for me to have gone? I love you, you jackass.”

I stride toward her, tilting her chin up with my finger. “And you thought it best to tell him first, not me?”

She swallows hard. “I… I wasn’t thinking of it that way.”

“Do you not understand what you do to me, Cecilia? The fear you instill in my heart and the ice that fills my veins when you aren’t near me. I can’t fathom not knowing where you are, and I most certainly can’t fathom you telling another man you love me before you tell me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I wanted a clean slate before I told you.”

“Well, because of that, you put your life in danger, and you’ve pissed me off, so now, you have two choices.”

One of her brows arches. “Choices?”

“You can either admit your wrongdoing now and take your punishment here, or you can run. You can hide. If I find you, you still get punished. If I don’t, well...” I lean in to whisper in her ear, “You still might get a little fucked.”

She sucks in a breath, and I watch, enraptured as her pupils dilate, her body feeling more fluid in my arms now. “The choice is mine?”

“All yours, little owl.”

She grins at me, and then, in an instant, she’s gone, dashing into the garden maze behind her just as I suspected she would. I wait only thirty seconds before striding inside.

The dark green hedges fill my view every corner I round, and I come up empty each time. But I can hear her traipsing around me, her breaths fast and excited. She was close, but where?

I turn another corner, her footsteps sounding closer. “Just so you know, babe, the deeper you go, the harder you get it.” I grin when I hear her steps taking off faster now, but the direction I hear her go stops me in my tracks, and I turn back the way I came and down another passage. I knew this maze like the back of my hand, just like I knew the course she had just taken. I knew she was coming straight for me.

I wait behind a corner, her footsteps drawing near, until I hear her breathing, the earth crunching under her feet. Then I come out, drawing a startled yelp from her.

She skids to a halt, her hand flying to her chest. “You scared me,” she stammers, breathing hard.

“Such a pity,” I boast, stepping toward her. She backs up, and I step toward her again, my grin growing.

“You cheated. I bet you designed this maze, didn’t you?”

“Of course. But I couldn’t deny letting you get lost in it, could I?”

She rolls her eyes before focusing them on me again. “So, what’s my punishment?”

I get lost in the way she looks for a moment. Her fast breaths, light pink flushed cheeks, glittering blue eyes, and wild hair. Her thin sweater and skirt that is dangerously high on one side. But the reminder of her punishment brings me back to earth. It reminds me of what I can and can’t promise her. It’s her life that is always in danger because of the one I live. It’s the way I doubt if she could really love a man like me who was never worthy of it from anyone else.

“Tell me why you love me,” I ask her.

She straightens, her brows furrowing and lips becoming pouty as she registers my unexpected question. “What do you mean?”

“I want you to tell me why you think you’re in love with me.”

“I don’t think ,” she bites out. “I know I am.”

I tilt my head, observing her more closely. “Explain yourself.”

But then she tilts her head too, watching me even closer like I am her, and it unsettles me. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

It’s like hot tar fills my throat, strangling me at her correct assumption. “It’s a rational thought, babe. I’ve given you no reason to.”

She walks toward me, not stopping until we’re almost chest-to-chest. Her light eyes look up at me, swimming with an array of emotions that make breathing harder.

“You’ve given me every reason to. I could tell you it’s because you validate me. You saw me as a real person, a real threat, and you put matter to it even if it started as deception. Or how you recognize my soul and appreciate everything that makes me who I am. But that would be me loving you for how you love me, which is a big reason. But mostly, I love you because you’re protective. I feel like nothing can touch me if I’m with you. You’re intelligent and business savvy, but I love how you pretend it’s all there is to you. That you don’t care about people when one of the reasons I fell in love with you is how much you care about my brother. Or the way you knew every time I needed you and showed up every single time. I love your profound interest in crystals and the way you admire raw things because it reminds me of how unapologetically raw you are. You’re also playful when relaxed, and I love that side of you. But I love your obsession with mazes the most because it reminds you of your father even when he doesn’t deserve a space in your mind or your heart, and that’s just it…the very thing I’ve come to realize. You think your heart is dark and wicked, but it’s as innocent and pure as mine is, and you love hard with it, whether you think you’re capable of it or not. I love you because even when I tried to hate you, you made it a war in trying not to love you…and I lost. I love you.”

Her words rush into me like a drug for the darkness in my chest, and I welcome it. I jerk her to me, making our chests finally collide and dropping my mouth to hers. She moans onto my lips, holding me with as much aggression. I tear my mouth from hers, breathing heavily as I tug her sweater over her shoulders. “My life is dangerous. How could you love me and be happy when you’ll always be a target?”

She unbuttons my shirt with what seemed like superspeed. “All I need is you there, and I’ll be fine.”

She rips my shirt from my body as I curl my fingers into the waistband of her skirt and slip it down her legs. I drop to my knees and trail my hands up her legs to her soft, creamy thighs that scatter in goosebumps from the cold air. “How could you want me touching you with my hands that are violent and marred? The way I want you—need you, is anything but normal.”

She pulls me back up, fumbling with the buckle of my belt and yanking on it once it’s undone, aggressively pulling me close to her again in the process. “What aren’t you getting? I want your violence and obsession. I want your danger, and even more, I want your protection. I want everything you are because it made me fall in love for the first time in my life.” Her hand slides up my chest and cups my cheek. “You’re not marred. You’re scarred. There’s a difference, but it doesn’t make you any less beautiful to me.”

My heart pounds in my chest. I have a million more questions, but they don’t matter right now. The only thing that does is her and the promise she’s giving me. I lean down, kissing her softly. “You want to see beautiful, babe?” I whisper, letting my mouth roam up her cheek and kissing her there. Then, her temple. Then, her hair. My hands travel down her arms, then fall to her waist, dragging down to her hips until I’m cupping her ass and lifting her. Her legs wrap around my waist as I carry her through the maze to my favorite spot in the world.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

My cock is rock hard, carrying her against me. I was wearing nothing but my pants, and she was in a matching lace floral bra and panty set that was the color of lavender. It might be my favorite color I’ve ever seen her in. The pale purple hue complimented her eyes and made the black of her hair pop.

After carrying her deeper into the maze for a few minutes, we arrive right in the center. The sound of running water fills my ears, and I see her peaking up in interest, but she doesn’t look. Her chest is plastered against mine, and her eyes are connected to mine, unseeing the beauty around us.

“Close your eyes,” I murmur to her. She smiles, slowly shutting her eyes, and I stare at her for a moment, so unknowing and trusting. So, fucking beautiful. I carry her to the fountain in the middle, setting her on the edge of the cold stone. It was a four-tier fountain with cascading waters and white rose vines layered on the edge of each tier. The maze hedges in the center were gardened with floral vines trailing up them, lighting up the inside with whites, soft pinks, and even some nude shades of roses.

And there she was in the center, looking like some delicate nature goddess, with her floral underwear set and the dangling mossy earrings I gifted her. Her hair was naturally messy and getting even more so against the breeze.

I reach for the earrings, fingering them as I curl her hair behind her ear. “Open your eyes, little owl.”

She opens her eyes, her breath catching as she looks directly at me. Then, her gaze roams on the scenery around her and the fountain she’s sitting on. I wonder if she realized we were nearly three acres away from the house now.

“How do you have all this hidden here?” she breathes out. “It’s extraordinary.”

“It’s my hiding spot, and I go to it once I’ve exhausted myself. When all my work is over, or my internal battles are too much to bear. Until I met you, it was the only place I could relax.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I told you,” I smile. I pull her to me again, my hand grasping her chin and meeting her gaze to mine. “And I’m going to fuck you in it.”

The shade of her skin deepens in a blush, almost covering her entire body. Her eyes have a new sparkle as she drops to her knees, catching me off guard.

Her hands slowly find my zipper, pulling it down. “What do you think you’re doing?” I ask her, despite my cock aching for her to keep going.

“Showing you how much I want you.”

I try to lift her back to her feet, but she slaps my hands away, making me chuckle. “You don’t have to show it to me that way.”

“I want to.” She yanks my pants down, letting them hang around my thighs. I hiss in pleasure as her palms coast over my bulging cock in my boxers.

“Cecilia,” I warn.

“Hush,” she bites back, slipping my boxers down. My cock bobs in front of her face, and I’m already too far gone to care. The sight of her wanting lips in front of my cock and her baby blue eyes looking up at me with so much mischief and desire had me needing to feel her mouth around me.

I run my hand through her curls. “You want my cock in that disobedient mouth of yours baby?” She nods, her fingers slowly trailing up my thighs in excitement. I fist it, angling it toward her mouth, unable to stop myself from stroking it as my head touches her lips. “Open up and take me on that sharp fucking tongue.”

Her eyes flame as she opens her mouth, sucking me inside. Her lips drag up and down my length, pulling my pleasure straight into her greedy mouth. “Mhmm,” she hums around me, and my head falls back in satisfaction, feeling my cock slide nearly down her throat.

“Fuck you’re so good at that.” She releases me with a pop, then drags her tongue up the underside of my shaft, and I clench my teeth hard, my head snapping back down to look at her, tongue out and licking me up like there’s nowhere she’d rather be than doing this. “Stand up and bend over the fountain,” I rasp out, fisting my cock again in an attempt to keep her wicked mouth away.

She stands up sweetly, trotting over to the fountain and bending over it, bracing her hands on the second tier. “Like this?” She chimes, shaking her ass.

I walk over to her, stroking myself as I caress a hand over the swell of her ass cheek. “Just like that. So fucking gorgeous, my Cecilia.”

“Please,” she moans out desperately, shaking her little ass for me. “I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me.”

I glide my cock up and down the split of her ass, groaning at the sight and feel of it. “I bet your pussy is wet and throbbing for it, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Can you take it though? Can you handle a hard fuck? I bet you can. A bratty thing like you needs to be fucked hard.”

“Yes, please. I want it. Fuck me hard, James.” Her words are desperate and breathy. I chuckle, sliding her panties to the side and teasing her pussy with the head of my cock.

I kick her legs apart, spreading her open for me. “I want to be as deep inside you as I can get. I don’t want to feel anything but your aching pussy squeezing me for everything I’ve got. Do you understand me?”

“Oh god, yes.”

I lean over her shoulder, my lips grazing her ear. “Good girl,” I whisper before slamming my cock into her. She flies forward, her hands tightening on the fountain. I pull out and slam into her again, over and over at a fast, violent speed.

“Yes, don’t stop,” she pleads, her voice wild and deep, unlike I’ve ever heard, and it only spurs me on.

I grab her hair, fisting it around my hand and yanking her head back as I pump into her from behind. I can feel some resistance inside her, as if she hasn’t been touched this deeply, but I can’t stop. I needed to consume every part of her. “You drive me crazy, my Cecilia. The way you look, the way you talk… fuck, your wet pussy. Tell me, babe, has anyone ever made your pussy this desperate before?”

“Only you,” she whimpers.

“Fuck yes,” I groan, pumping into her harder, making her hiccup in pleasure. Her ass is bouncing against my lap, both her thighs and mine drenched in her wetness, and I swear, I’m in heaven.

“I’m gonna come,” she moans. Her head falls between her arms, her hair spilling down as her legs shake. Her pussy flutters around my cock, making my stomach tighten, and ecstasy starts to swim through my veins as I feel her unravel around me.

“Fuckin yes,” I growl, my fingers digging into her ass. “Tell me you love me, Cecilia. Fucking scream it when I make you come.” I pump into her, and each time, it gets harder to pull out as she shakes around me, squeezing me tighter and tighter.

“I love you,” she cries. “I love you, James, just like that. Don’t stop. Please. I love you. It’s so good.” Her hands are gripping the fountain so hard that they’re scraping, drawing blood against the rough stone. I can’t stop, though. I wanted her like this. Rough and damned.

I feel like I’m swimming inside her, her pussy dripping all over me. “Do you want me to come inside you, little owl? I’m going to fill this pussy up and make it mine. You’ll never fucking leave me again. Do you understand?”

“God, yes,” she groans.

I chuckle. “James, yes,” I correct her. “I told you there was nothing holy about me.”

She shoves me off of her with her foot, and I stumble back a step before she turns around and practically man-handles me onto the fountain until I’m sitting down, and she climbs into my lap, straddling me and sinking her pussy onto my cock. “Shut up,” she pants with an arrogant smile.

“Yes, ma’am,” I smirk. My hand grabs her throat, squeezing it just enough as she works me inside her until I’m aching for release. “Just like that baby. Just like that,” I groan.

“Fuck, I’m going to come again,” she moans, dropping her mouth to mine and taking me in a savage kiss. Our lips fight for dominance until she opens her mouth, and my tongue brushes hers, gaining the upper hand until I’m devouring her completely. I feel her start to shake in release, and she tears her mouth from mine just as I grab her jaw, forcing our eyes to stay on each other. Her eyes go lazy as she moans through it, and she wraps her arms around my neck, holding tightly onto me as I come with her.

It’s silent momentarily, and I feel nothing but the cold breeze against my skin and her warm body on my lap.

“Wow, wow, wow,” she mumbles, her arms drooping around my neck as she slumps against my chest.

I chuckle, pulling her close to me as I catch my breath. “I don’t know how we’ll walk out of here now.”

She groans, lifting her head to look around. “You’ll just have to make me a bed of roses and sleep out here with me.”

I smile at her, moving a piece of her fallen hair out from in front of her face. “Whatever you want, babe.”