Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Adam
It’s pitch black when I wake up, and there’s a heavy weight on top of me.
Emmet.
We fell asleep together after the hottest sexual experience I've ever had. Which is saying a lot because I thought that night in California was pretty damn hot.
We experimented a lot when we were younger, but damn, it was nothing like this. Emmet is the only man I’ve ever been with, so I don’t have a lot to go on, but sex with Leslie and I was always very vanilla. Almost transactional. We did it because we wanted kids—three, ideally.
All the years we were together, and all the times we had sex, we never used a condom and only ended up with two.
I accepted that’s just what it was supposed to be.
I mean, it’s not like we had sex every day or anything.
Not even close. Weeks would go by without it, and sometimes it felt like a chore, especially when we were trying for Ian.
We never had sex after him. For a while, I thought it was me because my libido was non-existent—I didn’t even want to jerk off.
But she never complained either, and then our relationship went downhill in all aspects, and sex was the least of my concerns.
I run my hand up and down Emmet’s muscular back as he sleeps, half his body draped across mine.
He always was warm when he slept, and nothing has changed on that front.
He is much heavier than he used to be though, and I’m not sure how I haven’t suffocated.
It would be a good way to go, though, I’ll tell you that.
My bedroom smells of sweat and cum, and part of me hopes it lingers so I’ll have a reminder of him here. I’ll have to change these sheets, but I don’t regret a single thing that happened. Though, we do need to talk about what we’re doing, what this is between us.
Communication never used to be an issue for us. We talked about everything, always, all the time. We were close, best friends. We did everything together, had so many of each other’s firsts. The more I think about it, the more I get angry with myself for fucking it up.
Why did I give this up?
I was young and dumb. That’s all I can really say.
And Emmet is right. What happened then doesn’t matter. All that matters is now. Us, here.
I lean closer to kiss his forehead, letting my lips linger.
This is so perfect. Everything about this feels right, like it’s where I belong and what I’m supposed to be doing.
I settle against my pillow, holding onto Emmet. He stirs in his sleep, gripping me tighter too.
All this time? All these years and he’s just been waiting for me?
I sigh and close my eyes, drifting back to sleep that I’m awakened from a short time later, by the feel of Emmet’s mouth wrapped around my dick.
“Best way to wake up,” I say, running my fingers through his hair. Half of it is still in a bun, but it’s messy as hell.
He moans around me, the vibrations going right to my balls.
I forgot how good this feels…
It’s been so long, years, since anyone has done this for me.
Emmet takes his time, enjoying me as much as I’m enjoying him. The orgasm builds slowly until I’m coming down his throat.
“I could get used to that,” I say when he comes to lay beside me, licking his lips clean.
“Fine by me.” He kisses my cheek, then throws his limbs over me to cuddle. He always was like a koala—a very large koala.
“We should shower,” I say.
Emmet hugs me tighter. “Don’t want to move.”
I laugh, because neither do I. But there’s a layer of sweat covering my body that I need to wash off.
“Five more minutes,” I mutter, and he hums happily.
Five minutes turns into twenty, but I eventually coax Emmet out of bed with promises of a blow job in the shower. He would have gotten up anyway, but I wanted his dick in my mouth, so I used it as an excuse. Not that I need one, but it makes it fun.
My back is against the shower wall while he stands above me, both hands braced against the tile as he slowly slides in and out of my mouth. When he comes, he pulls out and strokes himself all over my tongue.
We count the marks he left on my stomach last night, when he was licking our cum from me. There are eight of them. A mix of hickeys and bites. I’m not mad. In fact, I love them. We wash up, then get out.
It’s still dark out, but we’re wide awake, so we make breakfast together.
I scramble eggs while he fries bacon. I get the toast going while he makes coffee.
We work together like a well-oiled machine, like we haven’t spent so many years apart.
You’d think we’d been doing all these things every day since the day we were born, and it feels damn good.
When we’re done eating, the sun is finally up. We go into the living room and lay on the couch. I put on another Indiana Jones movie, and we end up falling asleep again. When we wake, it’s late into the afternoon and raining heavily.
“Don’t you have to be at the bar?” I ask, brushing my fingers through his hair.
“That’s the good thing about owning the place: I can do what I want.”
I chuckle.
“So, we’re really doing this, huh?”
Emmet turns so he’s on top of me, resting between my thighs. “As long as you want to.”
“I do,” I say with a firm nod. “But I still want an explanation.”
He sighs, sliding his hands under me to hug me and then places his cheek on my chest. “It’s simple, really.
” My fingers go back to his hair as I wait for him to give me more.
“I never stopped loving you. And when I had no choice but to start over, I figured coming here could be a second chance for us.”
“So you really came here for me?” I ask.
“Yeah, Adam. I really came here for you.”
I don’t think my heart could be any more full.
Indiana shouts at his father, and I turn my attention to the TV. I can’t help but laugh at the scene when they’re tied to the chair.
“I want to do this with you,” I say softly after some time.
He turns to face me. “Are you sure?”
I nod, my hand still in his hair. “You have such gorgeous hair.”
He grins. “Yeah, it’s one of my best assets.”
“I think your ass is your best asset.”
“Not my shining personality?” He bats his eyelashes, and then we both laugh.
“That’s pretty great too,” I say once we stop laughing.
Emmet keeps his eyes on me, a small smile on his lips. “How are you going to tell the kids?”
That’s like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head, seeping into my skin as it travels through my veins.
Why haven’t I thought about that?
“That’s… something I’ll have to think about.” He frowns. I know why and feel bad immediately. “It’s not like last time, Emmet.”
“That’s hard to believe, Adam. You’re already unsure about telling people.”
“I’m unsure of how I’m going to tell my children, Emmet. Not random people off the street. This is a big deal.”
He sits up, that frown still on his face. “Because I’m a man?”
“Yes. Well, no—”
“Got it.” He moves to the other side of the couch and feels a million miles away.
“Emmet, don’t do this,” I plead.
He doesn’t say anything, just keeps his gaze on the TV, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t watching it.
I crawl over to him, throwing my leg over his legs to sit on his lap. I take his face between my hands and make him look at me. His eyes are on mine, but I don’t think he’s seeing me. It’s clear he’s upset.
“This isn’t like before,” I say. “This is a different situation altogether. Yes, it’s because you’re a man, but only because my kids have never seen me with anyone but their mother.
It’s going to be a conversation I need to have with them.
They’re young, and we’ve always taught them to be accepting of everyone.
They’re going to have a lot of questions, and I need to figure out how to answer them.
Being a father doesn’t come with a handbook, you know.
I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, and this isn’t something I prepared for.
I intended on being single for the rest of my life. ”
He blinks, his eyes red. Then he looks away from me.
“I can’t handle losing you again, Adam.”
That breaks my heart. Absolutely shatters it.
I slide my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder. His arms finally come up to hug me back, and I sigh in relief.
“We will figure this out together. I promise,” I tell him, and mean it with everything in me.