Chapter Forty-Five
Emmet
I have zero expectations for this trip. I invited Adam as a friend, and I told him it didn’t have to mean anything.
The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I asked him to come at all.
It all feels really stupid on my end, like dangling a juicy steak in front of my face after not eating for a month.
How could this not mean something? This is Adam. The man I’ve been in love with since I was sixteen years old.
I keep reminding myself this is Dominic’s wedding, this is about him and his fiance. This has nothing to do with Adam and me, yet I’m using it as an opportunity to spend time with him just the same.
Because of Dominic. He told me to bring someone, so I’ll just blame it all on him.
Adam was not able to get on the same flight as me—he took an earlier one. I was tempted to change mine to his, but that would have been weird, so I didn’t. But I did think about it for at least an hour. Even made it all the way to check-out.
I’m antsy as I look out the car window, taking in the beautiful scenery.
I’ve seen plenty of photos and videos of the island, but none of them compare to what I’m looking at right now.
I can hardly put it into words. It’s just breathtaking.
Clear blue skies, clearer and bluer ocean.
The plants are vibrant, the sand golden, the people happy.
“First time?” the driver asks.
I smile, unable to pull my gaze from the ocean. “Yep.”
“I can tell. All you newcomers have that same look in your eye.”
“Can you blame us?”
He laughs. “Not at all, my friend. Not at all.”
Everything here is bright and clean, so unlike the dreary weather I’ve become accustomed to.
It’s a needed break, one that hopefully won’t turn into a disaster.
This could be good for us, for me especially.
This is an opportunity to fix things with him and let him know that us being friends is just fine. If it’s all I can get, I’ll take it.
We pull up in front of the hotel, and the driver assists me in getting my bags from the trunk. I shove my backpack up my shoulder, then take my suitcase and thank him before heading into the hotel. I check in and take my things to the elevator and up to my room.
I swipe my key against the door, but it beeps red. I try it again, same thing. I tug on the handle anyway, but it doesn’t budge. I glance at the paper the staff gave me to make sure I’m at the right room. Definitely what she wrote down. I try it one more time—still nothing.
Why do I always have issues at hotels?
“Emmet?” I turn and find Adam looking as good as ever. “Hey, I thought that was you.”
“Hey,” I say, smiling through my frustration with the door.
“I was actually about to text you.” He comes up beside me. “Need some help?”
He looks so good it makes me want to cry.
“I think my key is messed up.” I hold it up to show him, as if it’ll agree.
“Let me try.”
He holds out his hand for the key, and I give it to him. He presses it against the door and it does the same thing. He tries again, but still it’s a red light and not a green one.
“You want to put your things in my room and we can go down to the lobby?”
“Sure, that would be great.”
“I’m actually your neighbor,” he says with a smile, pointing from the direction he came.
What sweet torture this is. His room is right beside mine. Now I’ll get to lie in bed and imagine him jerking off on the other side of the wall.
As if I wouldn’t have done that anyway…
I bring my bags into his room, taking in the beautiful view of the ocean, that I must have too since we share a wall.
His bed is against the wall on the right, with a large TV across from it and a small sitting area and kitchen when you first walk in.
It isn’t much different from the room we stayed in while in California, only it’s much nicer.
“You ready to go down now?” he asks.
“Yeah, I probably should.”
We head down to the lobby together. While in the elevator, all I can smell is him and I put my hands into my pockets to stop from touching him because it’s all I can think about.
There’s no way I’m getting through this weekend alive.
This will be nothing but torture, and I don’t know why I thought doing it was a good idea.
I’ve been with him for five minutes and I’m already desperate.
Dread fills my chest because as much as I’ve been saying I just want to be friends, I don’t think that can happen.
I hate that because him in my life at all is better than never seeing him again.
But maybe that’s not true. Maybe it’s better to cut ties before it hurts too much later.
Too late now, moron. You invited him here.
It’s just one weekend. I can get through this. See how I come out on the other side, then I’ll need to seriously rethink my life.
Maybe I should move again.
“Thank you for inviting me,” he says with a smile. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to leave the kids and work, but I’m glad I did. I needed a break.”
“It’s no problem.” I force a smile. His is bright and kind and so fucking sweet.
I head to the front desk with him in tow.
“Hi, can I help you?” the man behind the desk asks. This isn’t the same person I spoke to when I checked in.
“My key isn’t working. Tried it like ten times.” I slide it and the paper I was given to him. He takes them, and presses it to the machine.
“Hm,” he says. “Seems there’s an issue with the card, but I’ll give you another one and you should be good.”
“Thank you.”
He grabs a new card from a large stack and runs it through the machine before sliding it to me. “If you have any issues, please come back, but it should be just fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. Enjoy your stay.”
We head back upstairs, and I check the key. I blow out a relieved breath when the light turns green.
“Awesome,” Adam says. “So, do you want to go grab some food?” I raise a brow, not expecting him to have asked me that. “What? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing. Food sounds good. I haven’t eaten much today.”
“I saw a bar on the beach not far from here, if you want to check that out?”
“Did it look like they had greasy food?”
He laughs. “Do they have grease out here?”
Now I laugh. “Good point. It feels like everything is fruits and vegetables and healthy.”
“Hopefully not,” Adam says.
“Seriously. I need a greasy cheeseburger.”
“Oh god, that sounds perfect.”
Walking to the bar takes less than five minutes, and we wait only a few more for a table. We’re on the side that overlooks the ocean, and it’s hard to believe this is real. It’s so beautiful.
“I can’t stop looking at it.” Adam smiles out at the ocean.
“Neither can I.”
“Funny because we can see it whenever we want, but it’s so much better here.”
I look at him, taking in his beauty and wanting to tell him that he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but I just look at my menu instead.
“Oh look. They have cheeseburgers,” I say.
“Yes, but are they greasy?”
I huff a laugh. “Guess we’ll find out.”
When the waitress takes our orders, we both get a burger and fries and a beer.
The beers are brought a few moments later, and we drink them slowly while staring at the beach.
Some people are lying in the sand, on towels or in chairs.
Others are walking, hand in hand. Some are playing catch with a football.
Others are walking through the surf or deeper out in the water, swimming.
The vibes here are… so positive and happy.
Like a dream. It’s exactly what I need. Now, if only I can get my heart to chill out, it’ll be a good weekend.
The problem is everything with Adam and me is all so natural, even though my heart is weeping. I just wish it was enough for him.
When our food comes, it looks so damn good. And it is, just not nearly as greasy as I was hoping for. But that’s probably a good thing. I’m not getting any younger over here, so leaner meat is for the best.
The sun is starting to set, and the bar gets busier, but we sit and drink our beers while the sun turns the most beautiful shade of pink and orange. We don’t say a word, but it isn’t needed. Not with us. If only things were this easy all the time.
I lose count of how many beers we have, but we aren’t trying to get drunk, it’s just something to pass the time with each other.
The other patrons are loud and rambunctious, enjoying their night.
But for us? It’s just us. Just him and me sitting here watching the sun set in the most beautiful place I have ever been.
When the sun is down, I pay our tab. He fights me on it but loses. From the corner of my eye, as I’m walking away from the table, I see him drop an extra forty onto the table. He catches up, and I pretend I didn’t see it, and we make our way back to the hotel.
The air conditioning inside is welcome. Though the beach has a nice breeze, it’s humid and warm.
“So what are we doing tomorrow?” Adam asks as we get into the elevator. “We have the entire day to do whatever we want.”
I run my hand through my hair, tugging out the hair tie and redoing it into a messy bun at the back of my head.
“No idea. Didn’t get that far.”
Adam smirks. “Well, you know where to find me when you decide.”
The elevator doors open, and we step onto our floor, heading toward our rooms. It hurts to not hold his hand. Like physically hurts to stop myself from doing it.
This is such a bad idea.
“I’ll text you in the morning?” I ask.
“Sounds good.”
He stands in front of his door for a moment, just holding my gaze before he finally nods and lets himself in. I stand outside mine for far too long, hoping he’ll come out and ask me to spend the night with him.
He doesn’t. So, I go into my room and get into bed.