15. Piper #2
“Well, at least you see that point.” He walked over to the kitchen. “Though, we need to talk about how you have food if it’s been over a month. Are you eating enough? Or were you rationing—”
Joey had been opening cabinet doors to find where I kept everything and he stopped when he saw a fully stocked pantry.
“I went to the store,” I said.
“By yourself?”
I nodded. “Some good’s happening here. It wasn’t too bad.”
Joey blinked and looked between me and all the food. “That’s . . . great. And it makes life easier, I guess. What about some chicken and rice bowls? Your favorite.”
My stomach rumbled and I blinked in surprise. “That sounds really good, actually.”
“It does? You’re hungry already?”
“I am. And the fact that it’s your cooking helps.”
“I’m the best cook you know.”
“You’re the only cook I know.”
“Still, it’s nice to be loved.” He turned to get the ingredients and I watched him with a small smile.
Today had been terrible. The worst possible thing happened, yet I survived it. I’d panicked, but I came out of it.
I saw now what Scarlett meant about the medicine not numbing me. I saw how different it was to how my dad functioned.
And it made today just a little easier to survive.
The next morning, I leaned on the window in front of the door to The Reserved Bean and tried to ignore my rising anxiety. Joey was still asleep, and I snuck out before he could wake up and tell me this was a terrible idea.
As far as I knew, Theo would be here soon, and if not, then I could muster up my courage and text him.
The only person I saw was Marjorie, who froze when our eyes met. She politely asked how my day was and then made her way to the library, glancing at me over her shoulder, one graying eyebrow cocked high on her forehead.
That had been weird, but I was doing my best not to think too hard about it.
If I did, I’d lose my courage.
Moments later, Theo pulled up to the shop and I took in a shaky breath.
He was wearing a flannel, though his hair was messier than it usually was, and there were dark circles under his eyes. I wondered if what had happened yesterday had hit him just as hard as it had me.
For a man who seemed so unaffected by things, I was shocked to see anything showing.
When his eyes met mine, he went rigid. And then he rubbed his eyes to make sure I was there.
It was kind of cute, and I wanted to smile.
“Hi,” I said. “We should talk.”
“You . . . want to talk?” he asked slowly.
“I do. About what happened yesterday, to be clear.”
“What do you wanna know?”
“Everything,” I said. “How you know him, why he was here.”
He considered it for a long moment. “I highly doubt you’ll like what I have to say.”
“Maybe not, but I need to at least hear it.”
“Why are you even willing to? I know someone from your past.”
“But you also called the sheriff to watch over me.”
“I did.”
“Okay. So, that helps me trust you.”
He shook his head. “That’s not a good decision.”
“It’s mine to make,” I said flatly. “So, are you willing to talk or should I head home?”
Theo’s eyes went wide at my tone. “I’ll talk. I’ll tell you anything you want.”
Something loosened in my chest. “Thank you.”
He gave a jerky nod. “Okay. Let’s go inside. I don’t really want anyone to hear this.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“No.”
“And you’re willing to tell me?”
“You’re asking nicely. Maybe more nicely than I deserve.” He muttered it as he unlocked the door.
I followed him inside, and when the door shut, I knew we were alone and no one else was around. Maybe I should’ve been scared, but I wasn’t. It was like there was a part of me deep down that knew Theo wouldn’t hurt me.
Even with this new information.
“How do you know Arlo?” I asked.
“My family employs him.”
My heart sank. “Your family. The Murphy family?”
“You know the name?”
“Yes.”
Theo blew out a breath. “So you know what they do.”
“They deal drugs.” I crossed my arms. “They’ve been doing it a long time too.”
“Yes, they do.”
“Do you deal drugs?”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I haven’t since I turned eighteen.”
“And you’ve not talked to them since?”
“I haven’t. And I don’t want to.”
“Thank God.” I leaned against a table as relief hit me. “I thought . . . I was worried . . .”
“You were worried that kind of shit was here.”
“Yes. I can’t be around Arlo. I just can’t.”
“I figured. I told the sheriff about all of this.”
“I thought no one knew your past.”
He let out a breath. “They don’t. But an exception had to be made. Fortunately for me, he didn’t ask a lot of questions.”
I took a shaky breath as I went through his words. Scarlett had been right. He may have known Arlo, but he didn’t like him. He didn’t condone who Arlo was.
“Okay, thank you for explaining.”
“Strawberry Springs should be safe for you, and I can give you Mike’s information. I know I probably won’t be seeing you again, but I can at least do that. Or you could ask Kelsey for it, if you don’t want to talk to me.”
My eyebrows furrowed. As much as I didn’t like that our pasts connected at all, I knew I didn’t want to cut him from my life.
That was why I came down here, after all.
“No, I want to keep talking to you.”
Theo frowned. “But I’m connected to Arlo. You have a right to never speak to me again.”
“Am I not a reminder of something you’re not proud of? You also have a right to not want to see me,” I replied.
“That’s not what I want.”
“Well, it’s not what I want either.”
“Why not? Your past has to be . . .”
“Terrible? It is. But I’m not running from it. And you’ve said it yourself: You got out the moment you could. That’s all you can do.”
“I highly doubt you were into what I was. I had to work for them before I got out. I was a part of something I hated. And I’ll never be able to make up for that.”
“Who said you had to make up for it?”
“The people I had a hand in hurting.”
I shook my head. “And where does it stop? Do you have to atone for stepping on a bug? Or accidentally running a red light? You pulled the short end of the stick when it came to who birthed you. Formative years are just that—formative. But despite all of that, you’re kind.
You respect boundaries. That’s the person you are. Your past doesn’t negate that.”
Theo stared at me, brown eyes wide. “You . . . you’re surprisingly calm about this.”
“Well, I had time. And a lot of therapy. You can’t have a dad like mine without it.” I shrugged and looked away with a sigh.
“Still. I’m sorry you ever had to meet Arlo, and that your dad brought him around.”
“Trust me, bringing Arlo around was the least of my problems when I was younger.” I shook my head with a sigh.
“The least of your problems? Did you not pick up on the fact that he was hitting on you?”
“Oh, I did. He did it when I was twelve too.”
His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me, what?”
Usually, when I heard a tone like that, I tensed. But I enjoyed seeing a hint that Theo didn’t like hearing this. He cared about me.
I still wanted him to.
“As fucked up as it is, there were worse things that happened to me. You don’t wanna know.”
“I do, though.” The anger in his voice was softer now. “If you want to talk about it.”
“I can talk about it. It’s all I do, actually. But it tends to change how others see me when they find out.”
“That won’t happen with me.”
“Somehow, I doubt it.” I huffed out a laugh. My mind slipped to Joey, who I’d had to hide the truth about yesterday from. There was something about the way he burst into my apartment that still sat wrong with me. He wanted to protect me, but it was like he didn’t trust a single thing I said.
That hurt.
“Piper,” Theo said. “You have a bad past, but despite it, you’re trying to move forward. You’re not hiding. You’re facing it. It doesn’t matter what you tell me, I still think you’re a badass for being here.”
I could only stare at him. Yet again, he’d found the exact words I needed to hear. How did he do that? “That’s . . . a good way to look at it. Okay, prepare yourself.”
Theo nodded. “I’m prepared.”
“My dad beat me. A lot.”
He sucked in a sharp breath of air when I said it. “Oh.” His voice was tight.
“Yeah. He had issues after my mom died, so he took them out on me. It was anytime I reminded him of her, or if I didn’t have dinner ready fast enough.
Pretty much any reason he could find. Or he’d withhold food if I did something wrong.
It only stopped because he overdosed. It’s terrible to say, but I was glad it was over. ”
“Jesus,” he said. “That’s . . . That kind of shit is never going to happen again.”
“I hope not.”
“And that’s why you don’t like touch.”
“Yeah. That’s . . . an issue. It would be nice if I could go to the doctor. Or let someone get too close to me.” I let out a harsh breath, fighting the bitterness that had grown in the years since getting out from under my dad’s thumb.
“Was it always like that?”
“No,” I said. “When I was a kid, it was mostly normal. Even when I was a teen, it was fine. I didn’t expect people to hurt me, but with my dad around, it’s not like I could tell him no when he would .
. .” I trailed off. I could still feel the way it would feel.
The way everything would hurt after. “I was stuck,” I continued.
“Trapped in that house. I used to wish someone would save me.” I huffed out a humorless laugh and looked away. “People don’t do that.”
“There was a kid, once.” Theo’s voice was back to being softer. “Back when I worked for my family. His dad was like that.”
“You saw it?”
“Yeah. I called CPS. Made sure he got out of there. I got in massive trouble for it. Apparently, when your family makes their fortune by breaking the law, you’re never supposed to let anyone from the government get involved.
I knew they were pieces of shit, but that’s the day I started planning to leave. ”
“I wish it had been you instead of Arlo then.”
“If it were me, I’d be in jail for manslaughter, Piper.”
“I don’t think you’d have cared that much.”
“I do, though.”
My skin erupted in gooseflesh, and it felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t let this hit me so hard, not when Joey was still asleep on my couch.