15. Piper #3
I could scream about this later.
“In the end, I got out. That’s what mattered.”
“You saved yourself.”
“I traded one cage for another, unfortunately. Except this one feels like it’s of my own making.”
“After everything you’ve been through, I get it. That’s . . . more than anyone should ever have to deal with.”
I nodded. There was nothing else to say about it.
“Piper, if I ever bring anything up, you get away from me. Tell me to leave town and I will.”
“This is your home.” I shook my head. “I’d never do that.”
“I’d rather you have a chance to make something of yourself.”
“What about you?”
“I’m too old for dreams. Probably ruined them all in my teen years.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not that old.”
“I feel it.”
“So do I.” I rolled my shoulders. “These panic attacks are taking it out of me.”
“You could’ve rested. Slept in, even.”
“I wanted to talk to you, and I couldn’t wait. I needed to see you and hear your side of it. Plus, I should apologize for what I said before I ran off. I’m sorry about that.”
“You did what anyone else would’ve.”
“I don’t want to be like everyone else.”
“Is being like everyone else a bad thing?”
“A lot of people treat me differently once they know. They don’t give me a chance to prove that I’m not fragile.” My gaze met his. “And you deserve the chance to prove you’re not what you came from.”
Theo’s entire face went slack. “I . . . didn’t think about it like that.” Silence stretched between us and he seemed lost in thought. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “Still, I don’t ever want to remind you of your dad.”
“You don’t. And even if you did, I seriously doubt you can crack the top ten worst things to happen to me.” And he couldn’t. Theo, underneath all the quietness, was kind. Kinder than most people I knew. “Just do me a favor,” I asked.
“What is it?”
“Don’t treat me like I’m fragile. Even with what you know. I can’t handle another person in my life smothering me, trying to take it all away. I want to live a normal life, in whatever capacity I can.”
“Piper, I would never.” He said it immediately. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” I gave the brightest smile I could muster, and then turned toward the door. “I’ll look forward to it.”
As I brewed my own coffee for the first time in a month, I thought back to when Joey found out about my past. He was horrified, face pale and hands shaking. I could tell he wanted to hug me, but I wouldn’t allow it.
Or my mind wouldn’t.
His protectiveness started out small. He would walk me to class, making sure no one got too close. Then he would glare at anyone who talked to me. Then it moved to him solving my problems for me. Going to the store. Keeping me at home.
At the time, I thought it was good.
When I snuck back to my apartment, I was planning on telling him the truth. But I couldn’t imagine him ever letting me stay if he knew who Theo was.
And I refused to leave.
“Hey,” he said as he finally moved around more on the couch. “Coffee smells good.”
It wasn’t going to be good. At least not to me. I was spoiled by The Reserved Bean.
“It’s almost done.” I grabbed a cup and gave him a smile as I prepared coffee for him.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked. “I would understand if you didn’t. Especially if you’re still here.”
He sounded more hopeful when he mentioned if I didn’t.
I knew he wanted me to move back, but I had to refuse.
“Mostly. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“I’d feel a lot better if you told me what happened.”
I opened my mouth to answer him. But nothing came out. I knew I needed to tell him the truth. But I also wanted to stay here so badly. I’d grown used to the freedom of living on my own, and while it hadn’t always been easy, I had been enjoying it.
“I saw someone who looked like someone from my past.” My chest tightened. “But it wasn’t. The more I think about it, the more that I realize I assumed.”
“Oh.” Joey blinked as he considered my words, and I handed him a cup of coffee, unable to look him in the eyes. “That had to be really scary. You’re sure that it wasn’t actually someone from your past?”
“Yeah, pretty sure.”
He hummed while he took a sip. “Maybe we shouldn’t risk it. I know you’ve enjoyed living out here, but it’s time to come home. I can get your room ready and—”
“No, I’m not coming back. I’m fine here and I know I’m safe.
” My guilt shifted ever so slightly. Instead of crushing me, it only felt heavy.
If he was reacting this way to the simple thought that there was someone who looked similar to a person from my past here, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn’t let me stay if he knew the truth.
“What if you aren’t?”
“Then I’ll deal with it. But I want to live a life, and I think I can do that here.”
“Piper, it’s dangerous. Especially with how you react when people get close to you.”
My jaw tightened. He wasn’t wrong, but hearing it like this made me angry. I hated that I overreacted when people got close to me, but I would always do that if I never faced it. And Joey knew that. I had told him that time and time again before I moved.
“Joey, please. I’ve made actual progress since moving. I’m doing well.”
“You didn’t sound well on the phone.”
“That was a moment of weakness. I feel so much better now.”
“You’d said this had happened before.”
“Not exactly like this. Someone touched me and I overreacted. But that’s another thing I’m working on.”
“It’s been years. This might just be a permanent thing, and that’s okay. You can still stay with us.”
I had to take a deep breath to keep from snapping. I didn’t want to be angry.
“If I truly feel like I can’t do this, I will come back. But I think I can stay.”
“Piper . . .”
“Don’t make me call Mitch. He’ll be on my side about this.”
The mention of his fiancé, who I knew he’d argued with many times over me, shut Joey up. Mitch was worried, but he was far more on my side than Joey ever would be.
I didn’t like using him in an argument like this, but even at the hint of someone from my past being here, I had to. There was no way I could tell Joey the truth.
“Fine.” He said it slowly, his voice flat, and I knew he wasn’t happy about it. “But only if this person really wasn’t from your past.”
My stomach churned, but I shook my head. “They weren’t.”
“Then I guess I’ll head out after breakfast.”
I nodded, forcing a smile on my face. Soon, I would be free to do what I wanted without Joey’s watchful eye on me.
I wanted that more than I could say.
Clearly, I was even willing to lie to get it.