Chapter Thirteen
Ash
Dad wanted to take me home, but I couldn’t face it.
Couldn’t face the fucking kids, and having to try and be normal, or whatever the fuck our version of it was.
I wanted my flat. I wanted peace and quiet, to try and figure out what the fuck happened to me last night, and why Cal did it.
Why he let it happen. More than that, why he literally facilitated it.
He drugged me, so a woman could use me for sex. That’s rape.
I know my family aren’t fucking angels, but this was a whole new kind of fucked up.
This was… actually, I had no words for it, but I knew that it might have just destroyed the part of me that I was confident about.
The part that knew who I was, and what I wanted.
I wanted Cal? Look what he’d done. How was he worthy of me, if he thought it was acceptable to do this to me?
Dad didn’t take me to my flat, or the house in the end. He took me to one of their many properties, and he explained his reasons as he helped me inside on still shaky legs, and settled me on the large sofa.
For a start, it was armoured to fuck, like their other properties.
He had a feeling I’d feel safer knowing that, and you know what?
He was right. It was fully stocked up, like all their prepper properties were.
Apparently it wasn’t only a ‘be prepared’ kind of thing, but apparently a nod to how they’d come together.
I didn’t know too much about those particular details, but right now I didn’t care.
What I cared about was home comforts, and no interruptions while I took time to think things through. It was so much to process.
There was another benefit to this, as opposed to my flat.
The basement. Half of it housed workout space, with some equipment to train on, because he knew the gym was my happy place, where I could ride those fucking endorphins, and let my mind clear of everything except the torment I’d put my body through.
No pain, no gain, right? Pain was my fucking friend.
The hanging bag I could punch the shit out of would fuck my knuckles up, and soothe me when nothing else would.
Did pain get me off? Yeah, sometimes, and sometimes it just eased my soul. Did I say I was normal?
Dad Gray arrived while I was having another shower, and offered me a sympathetic look when I came downstairs to see both my dads sitting together at the kitchen table.
“How’re you doing, kiddo?”
I shrugged, feeling my cheeks flush red at the thought of both dads knowing how weak I’d been. I knew dad Dory wouldn’t keep it from him, or mum probably, but it was still humiliating that they knew. It was so deeply personal and mortifying. Soul crushing.
“So… You wanna burn them to death?” Dad Gray asked next, offering me a light grin. His way of offering support, and showing he would do anything for his kids, without dwelling on the part I wished I could forget.
“Nobody’s killing Cal. He’s mine, and I’m going to fucking bend him until he realises it.”
Both dads shrugged at me. “Breaking people is easy, but breaking them so they’re still of use? That takes a little finesse.”
“Yeah, it’s not for the faint of heart, son,” dad Dory added.
Dad Gray laughed then. “Well, Ethan managed to learn it, so I guess it’s just about knowing the person you want to break, and understanding how much pressure to apply so you break their will, but not their will to live.
Em nearly made that mistake, remember?” Ugh I was so fed up with their dramas.
Yes, they both broke each other, yes, they both tried to die. Can we move on now?
“The woman has to die,” I said fervently, and both of my dads just nodded in response.
“That’s a given. She’s a fucking predator preying on young guys whose only mistake was trusting the wrong people, people they should be able to fucking rely on.”
I probably couldn’t have put that into words quite so eloquently, but I’d learned that being less smart than the rest of my family didn’t mean I was stupid. Just had to rely on other smarts.
Cal betrayed my trust, and so I’d have to betray his in return.
Didn’t the bible say, ‘an eye for an eye’?
He did this to me, so I need to return the favour.
A chilling thought hit me then, and I guess being drugged is the only reason I never fully absorbed the fact before, but my dad just literally said it.
“She did this to him too, didn’t she? She’s like some kind of rapist for hire or something.” I could see the thought had already occurred to both of them, because they didn’t show any surprise or shock. Again, my smarter family were always way ahead of me.
“How many poor gay boys has she forced herself on… she’s actually worse than all of us.”
“How long do you want to rest up, kiddo? A few days to get in the zone, then we’ll get them both here for you?”
Both. Here. Wait, what? I didn’t need to ask, but I guess my face was already doing that.
“This place is well equipped. They’ll be trapped here with you, for whatever you want. You can hurt them, kill them, whatever. Get what you need from both of them, and we’ll help wherever you need us to.”
“Bring them here,” I mused as I stared at the table, picturing all kinds of crazy shit.
I could rape him in front of her. I could force him to rape her.
I could murder her in front of him, then fuck him in her blood.
Jesus. I just went way darker than I realised I was capable of, but I’m the product of their actions. And maybe my upbringing.
“We can make that happen, Ash, you just say the word, and it’s done.
” I stared from one dad to the other, dad Dory with his dark hair and beard, both shot with flecks of grey, and dad Gray with his shoulder length blonde hair.
They were both so sure of themselves, and what and who they are, and what they want.
“How did you guys know?”
They exchanged a look before dad Gray spoke. “Know what?”
“That you were into guys?”
Dad Dory groaned, but dad Gray was laughing.
“Funny story, actually, oh uh… maybe not so much right now. He didn’t know, anyway, but I did.
He was all about your mum, but I only had eyes for him at first. It grew though.
It evolved into three people very much in love.
No matter what you start with, it can always turn to love, even if it takes years.
Remember that, Ash, because sometimes people can be stubborn assholes. ”
“Gray,” dad Dory admonished, and he grinned.
“Or like your dad there, they’re easy as fuck.”
“Gray,” he hissed, shaking his head. “Ash, you direct what happens next, and from now on. You want one or both of them brought here, we’ll do it. If you want to hunt them down on your own terms, go for it. You do what you need to heal, no matter what it does to them.”
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“Two days. Give me two days, and then I have to be the one to take them, but maybe you could back me up?”
Had I ever seen my dads so proud of me? Wasn’t it weird that it was only on a promise of kidnap and torture, that they suddenly saw the man in me?
Or was it that they always saw him, but they were waiting for me to turn dark like them?
Was I always that way though? I had no idea, but I knew this had to happen.
It was only when they’d left me alone there, that the thoughts and flashbacks hit me again, and I curled up in the corner of the bedroom, and sobbed like a child. How could he do this to me?