Chapter Fifteen
Callum
Iwoke up feeling like hell. I was groggy, my head was pounding, and I was aching all over.
Had I been in an accident? It was dark all around me, and I was on cold hard ground.
No wait, I ran my hand over the surface beneath me.
Tiles. The wall behind me was also tiled.
It was cold, but not drafty, so I think I was inside somewhere, but I had no idea where.
“H…Hello?” I choked out, my throat dry and sore. Suddenly my entire world was flooded with bright light, and I gasped, using both hands to cover my face, trying to block out the painful glare, which seemed to want to burn my retinas out.
“Morning, sunshine. Did we sleep well?” What the… that voice was chillingly familiar. Jesus. Ash Cross.
“Huh? What’s going… what the fuck, Ash?” I forced myself to uncover my eyes and look around, but the room was probably the size of my parents’ living room, and completely empty.
Devoid of anything but me, tiles on all surfaces including the ceiling, and there was a drain in the middle of the floor.
Why the fuck was I in what seemed to be either a huge shower room, or a fucking death room?
“You’re not a morning person, huh? That’s a shame, because neither am I, and I hoped you’d be the one waking me with coffee and a blowjob each day.”
“In your dreams, Ash. Why are you doing this? It’s not going to change who I am, or what I believe.”
He chuckled, and it echoed around the room, each reverberation sending another trickle of fear down my spine. I wished we could talk face to face rather than like this, so impersonal and detached.
“Actually, yeah, let me tell you about my dreams, Cal. When I was a teenager, I remember seeing my dads fucking, and that’s when it clicked for me.
The reason I wasn’t chasing the girls around school, or doing the whole first date bullshit was because I was gay.
I was so lucky to understand that about myself so young.
So lucky to see a guy who really made me believe I could be that person, and explore the future with him. ”
Oh god, here we go.
“Imagine my surprise and heartache when he turned out to be a brainwashed fucking religious fanatic, who thinks being gay is something that needs to be resolved or fixed. I’m not broken because I like guys, Cal.
I’m not deviant because I don’t want pussy.
I’m perfectly fucking normal, and right, and entitled to love who I love.
What was my point here… oh yeah, so dreams…
yeah, I’ve dreamed about us together. You sucking me, you taking my cock, me taking yours.
I’m not against taking what I give out, but it’s not just that.
Us together, making a home, waking up together, going on holidays together, all that shit.
That was my dream. Yeah, that was my dream.
Instead you thought you’d drug me and let a woman rape me. And you know the worst part?”
I shook my head, because there was no stopping him right now. What choice did I have now but to listen?
“It’s not even that I still want you, and still wish for us to be together.
No. It’s the fact that they did this to you, and you felt like I feel now, but you still felt it should happen to me too.
Do you know,” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, “do you know how many showers I take a day right now? Do you know how her touch still seems to exist on my skin? Do you get that? You must. You’ve been there.
Are you telling me you felt fucking good after?
That you could sleep without phantom touches, that you could go through the day without needing to wash her filth from your skin? ”
I could feel the tears running down my cheeks as I lowered my head. Of course I knew how he felt. Of course I felt all that horror and degradation. Stupidly I thought I was fixed, but I’m not fixed. I’m more broken and fragmented than ever before.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out, and he chuckled again.
“Doesn’t undo it, little choir boy, but you can make it up to me. I have an idea about that.”
Silence suddenly fell, and that’s when I realised there had been a soft white noise, a crackle of radio static as he spoke to me, and that was now gone. Had he left me here? Was I alone?
“Ash?”
Silence. Just me and this fucking room, soulless and empty, just like I felt inside.
“Ash? Please don’t leave me here. I’ll do it. Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”
The lights suddenly shut off again, and I was left in dark silence, alone with nothing but my regrets.
Why did the heavy darkness make me feel lonelier and more broken than anything else ever had?
All I could do was wait here for Ash’s retribution, knowing the whole time that I deserved whatever he chose to do to me.
Ash
Dad Gray handed me a plate with a sandwich on it, along with a cup of coffee, as soon as I walked into the living room.
I’d slept for a few hours after spending time with Cal, because I needed to fight the heavy exhaustion of what had happened, and what was happening now.
The responsibility of taking my revenge was just another weight on my shoulders.
Was life really supposed to be this hard?
He sat opposite me at the table as I pushed the food aside, and leaned over the coffee, letting the aroma seep into my senses.
“Blaze said he’ll be here in about half an hour.” Jesus, Blaze. He didn’t know the ins and outs of what had happened, but he knew something was up. I didn’t want him knowing about this. He was my big brother, dammit.
I nodded distractedly, keeping my eyes away from dad’s because he always saw too much.
“You should know, Ethan’s with him.”
My head shot up and I slammed my fist against the surface of the table, making everything jump with the force.
“What?! Why the fuck is he coming?” Did everyone have to find out how weak I was?
Dad Gray rolled his eyes. “You know what I think of the prick, but he and Blaze are like fucking besties these days. He wanted to help with our little retrieval operation, and Blaze agreed, but he doesn’t know anything. Neither of them do.”
“He’s still a fucking normie underneath it all, dad! He’ll go to the cops!”
Dad laughed, shaking his head as he pushed the plate back in front of me.
“I swear, he’s as crazy as the rest of us these days, kiddo. He’s in too deep with us anyway. Eat though, you’ll need it. Have you thought about how this is going to play out?”
Had I? I shrugged. There was a hint of an idea, but it was just that, a hint. A niggling thought in the back of my mind. I swallowed hard.
“The bible says an eye for an eye, right? Like it advocates revenge?”
Dad shrugged. “Do I look like I went to Sunday School? I’ve heard the saying though, of course. Why? What are you thinking?”
I sighed, pushing the plate away again, wondering what the fuck I’m doing once more.
“Just figured he might understand, since he’s so fucking fanatical about his religion. His precious God. Why do people so blindly believe in a mythical figure whose holy book preaches so much closeted hate?”
Dad’s phone buzzed on the table and he pressed the button to view the message.
“They’re here already. How do you want to do this?”
I clenched my trembling hands on my lap where dad couldn’t possibly see them.
Was I really about to do this? Did Cal feel like this when he was setting me up?
Did he feel nerves, misgivings, guilt? I remembered his behaviour that night, the way he played into what I wanted, just to trap me with her.
No. He fucking enjoyed it, so I need to do that too.
Fight fire with fire, that’s the family way.
I shoved my chair back, grabbing my coffee, and taking a large gulp.
“Cage the animals together. Throw in one weapon. I’ll decide what to do based on who survives.”
Dad’s mouth dropped open as he stood up too. “Seriously? You don’t want to do it? It’d be easier to control. What if they both refuse?”
I ran a hand through my dark hair and shrugged. “I’ll wait them out. They’ll get hungry and desperate. One of them will break. And if they don’t, I’ll kill them both myself.”
Dad looked at me with pride, and why the fuck should that make him proud of me?
I just told him I’m winging this shit. It’s not control.
It’s the complete opposite. It’s being weak and letting fate take over.
Ha look at me. I have no faith or beliefs, but I believe in fate? No wonder I’m a fucking mess.
The buzzer at the door sounded, and dad ran over to let them in. Blaze strode right past me with his prey draped over his shoulder, silent and unmoving. Ethan was right behind him, and looking like he’d just had the most exhilarating time.
“Been too long since I’ve done that!” He said with a wide grin, and dad instantly jabbed a finger at him.
“To our fucking daughter, don’t forget that!”
Ethan shrugged carelessly. “She liked it. So what’s the plan now?”
“You’re done, fuckhead, you can leave.”
Ethan turned to say something to dad, and caught my eye. His grin disappeared, and his forehead creased, as he stared at me for an uncomfortably long time.
“Okay, who did what to you? Is that who we just grabbed? I’m fucking in. Don’t even try to keep me out of this.”
Huh. Guess the former ‘teach’ maybe really isn’t a good boy anymore. Dad turned to me and I shrugged, because it wouldn’t change what happened next. Nothing would. I had to see this through now.