Chapter 23 River
RIVER
I pummel the punching bag with a series of jabs, taking out my frustration with each and every punch. I wish I was on the mat with someone else instead of facing an inanimate object, but it’s too early in the afternoon for any of the fights I’ve been going to.
I’ve been dominating most of them, though I took a beating the other night that had left me tired and aching.
It doesn’t stop me from wanting more.
By the time I’ve finally worn myself out, sweat is dripping down my face and my breath is coming quickly. I’ve managed to stop thinking about Pandora for a few minutes, at least, but the second I stop attacking the punching bag, my mind snaps right back to her.
I don’t think she’s doing half as well as she’s pretending to be.
I shouldn’t care.
She’d humiliated me.
She’d set me up for a confrontation with my father, one I can’t avoid forever because he’s paying my fucking tuition.
Without his help, I have nothing.
Pandora had made sure of that, too.
I should be just as hellbent on revenge against her as she is on paying me back for what had happened in the gym.
I’m not, and I don’t know why.
Instead, I’m worried. She’d been every bit as fierce and wild and beautiful as ever last night, but there had been a frenetic energy that I didn’t like, too.
Even though Asch and I had decided to give her space after her abrupt departure from the club, I’m not sure that was a good idea. Ezio is being too persistent, and we’re going to need to deal with that sooner rather than later.
As much as I hate to admit it, we might need to get someone else involved — someone higher up in the Pavone family.
Fuck.
Maybe one of them can talk sense into Pandora. If anyone can manage it, it’s one of her parents. As little as I want to see any of the men responsible for chopping my finger off, it feels like talking to them is the best course of action.
She’d never forgive me.
I’m mulling that possibility over anyway when I hear someone approaching. I instinctively drop into a defensive stance, only to realize I’m being ridiculous when I recognize Fenrir standing there. I relax. “Why are you trying to sneak up on me?” I ask.
Fenrir’s eyebrows shoot up. “I’m not? I was going to ask if you want to spar, but…” He gives me a pointed once over. “It looks like somebody beat me to it. And forgot to hold back.”
“What’s the fun in holding back?” I retort.
Fenrir taps his gloved fist against his thigh. He’s already sweating from whatever warm-up he’d been doing, but he’s nowhere near as tired out as I am.
“I’d agree, except we’ve got a match this weekend,” Fenrir says. “Are you even going to be able to step into the ring?”
I scoff at him. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”
But he’s not entirely wrong. It’s not that I don’t think I can fight in the matches this upcoming weekend, but I might need to be more careful for the next day or two to heal.
The idea of it makes something itch inside of me.
Fenrir shifts, and it makes the wolf on his throat appear to ready its maw for a vicious bite. “How often have you been going to the fights?” he asks in a low voice. “Gabby said she saw you there three times this week.”
I clench my jaw. “Yeah, well, she needs to learn to keep her mouth shut,” I mutter. “Yeah, I’ve been a few times. So what?”
Maybe if I was getting my ass handed to me on a regular basis, it might be a big deal, but I’ve been holding my own even against the opponents who use dirty tricks to try to get ahead.
“On top of our regular training?” Fenrir shakes his head. “I know it’s rich coming from me, but you might want to chill about this. At least until we’ve won the matches. There’s no use tiring yourself out and handing the win to the losers from Stoltzburg U.”
“It’s good practice,” I tell him.
It’s really not.
There are no clean fights out there. There are no refs to make sure we’re keeping things above the belt, only doing legal moves. I don’t have to worry about perfect form and scoring.
The only thing that matters is overpowering my opponent.
“Anyway, don’t worry about it,” I add. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are. And if I tap you right here—” Fenrir pushes against the dark bruise on my shoulder. I inhale sharply, but I don’t budge.
I’ve experienced worse pain than this.
I’ll experience worse pain than this when I go home.
Why do I care about Pandora Pavone?
Fenrir laughs. “Fair enough.”
He launches a proper right hook at me, and I raise my arms to protect myself. Fenrir follows up with a blow to my side, and I manage to deflect that too.
Fenrir’s attacks are relentless now, and I struggle to find an opening. It’s not until he steps back, bouncing on his feet, that I take my chance.
Fenrir avoids it easily, rewarding me with a hard punch to the gut. I gasp and stumble, but I stay upright.
“Sloppy, River,” Fenrir says. “That one was obvious.” He steps back and lowers his hands. “Take a break. Take the rest of the week off, even. You’re going to make us lose at this rate.”
Anger spikes at his words, and I throw a punch at him. He had to have expected it because he deflects it as easily as I’d dodged his attacks.
More easily.
“Yeah, okay,” I say. “I’ll take a few days off.”
Assuming I don’t get lured back by the promise of violence, the taste of blood on my tongue, and the feeling of landing blows with my bare fists.
It suddenly feels like a big ask.
Fenrir meets my gaze. “If I hear about you going to the fights, I’m going to have to snitch. Don’t do that to me. I don’t want to be a narc.”
I stare at him. “What the actual fuck, Fenrir?” I demand. “You’re the one who brought me there to begin with. So what if I’m enjoying getting to take the gloves off and have a real fight? Just because you don’t want to lose against Stoltzburg?”
“Because I shouldn’t have been able to take you that easily,” Fenrir counters. “You’re off your game, River. Those fights are fun once in a while, but you’ll end up permanently damaging your fists.”
I let out an ugly laugh. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want to get maimed or anything,” I tell him. “Whatever, man. I’ll take a break until after the next match. If you’re happy, I’m going to hit the showers and get out of here.”
I’ve let Pandora off the hook for too long, anyway. It’s been almost a day, and she hasn’t even texted me. It’s past time to confront her.
Fenrir nods, but I’m sure if he weren’t wearing his gloves, he’d be flipping me off right now.
I get the team gofer to remove my gloves, and I grab a towel off him with barely a grunt before I head to the locker rooms. The coach waves to me as I leave.
If he wasn’t concerned about my performance, why the fuck was Fenrir getting up in my ass about it?
I head to the locker room, my steps slowing when I pass the saunas, and my jaw clenches. I grab my phone out of my locker and stare at it for a moment, trying to figure out if I should bother with trying to help Pandora.
I’d come here with the intention of exacting revenge on her, and in a way, I have.
Is what happened in the gym as bad as losing a finger?
Yes.
I grit my teeth.
River
Where are you?
I send the text to Pandora, then strip down so I can take a quick shower. She shouldn’t be in class, but that doesn’t mean she’s sitting around her dorm room, either.
I don’t know what I’ll do if she ignores my text.
The second I’m out of the shower, half-dry, I grab my phone to see if she’s texted back.
Pandora
Library. I have to study or I’ll fail biochem! Wtf is this bullshit!
I take in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. It’s not the best place to have the conversation we need to have, but I doubt I can talk her into going back to her room.
River
I’ll help you study
Pandora
With your cock? That’s not going to help with biochem.
I snort, then set my phone aside so I can get dressed. My hair is still wet enough to where it’s dripping down my face when I toss my towel into the bin. I grab my bag and shove my phone into my pocket, heading across campus to the library.
I find Pandora in one of the study rooms toward the back of the building, far away from everyone else. I don’t know if she moved there knowing I was coming or if she’d just chosen it for the privacy, but I’m glad for it.
I pull up a chair and sit down next to her. “So… Biochem’s kicking your ass?” It sounds like a stupid pickup line, and I know it, but it’s better than confronting her right away with the necessary conversation about Ezio.
It’s better than thinking about the games of revenge we keep going back and forth with.
“I got a fucking seventy-six on the last test,” Pandora grumbles. “Does it even matter whether the enzyme is lactase or glucosidase?” She glares at her tablet, where chemical structures are displayed.
I have no clue what those are, but that’s why I’m studying engineering and not biology. “I’m sure it matters to someone doing… something,” I tell her. I don’t know what, but it sounds important. “Listen,” I begin, only to falter when she turns her gaze back on me.
“It probably matters to lactose intolerant people,” Pandora says. “On account of lactase being the enzyme responsible for breaking down lactose. But I’m not studying to find a cure to milk intolerance. They already make lactase tablets anyway.”
“Uh huh,” I say. “Yeah, my mom takes—” I’m getting distracted, and I don’t want to think about my family anyway. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’ve made any progress on… things.”
“They should let first years do dissections. I’d be way better at that.” Pandora tilts her head. “How many people drop out of pre-med because they’re too squeamish?”
“Pandora,” I say, reaching out to touch her arm. “Seriously. Can we actually talk?”
“We are talking,” Pandora says. “Words are coming out of my mouth. But I’m here to study, River.” After a beat, her brow furrows and she adds, “Did I bite you that badly?” She reaches out to touch the bruise on my jaw.