Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Amy
I stared at the door as it closed with an audible click, and part of me expected him to barge back through. I realized that I wanted that. I wanted him to come back in here and shout at me because at least if he did, it would mean he still cared, even a little bit.
Only he didn’t, and the silence was a deafening roar.
“She ruined the painting,” I whispered again, this time to the empty room. There was no one there to hear my words, and I wasn’t sure that Alexei would hear me even if he was here. When it came to Violet, he was blind and deaf to anything else.
I was his wife, in name only. He had always told me I would be, so why did this realization hurt so badly? Why did it feel like my heart was being carved slowly out of my chest?
The sob that rose up my throat lodged there and made me choke. I fell face down onto the bed and tried to scream my frustrations into the pillow, but all that came out was a croak, the kind of sound that an injured animal made as it died. That was apt because it felt like I was dying.
I don’t know how long I lay there like that, mulling over everything that had happened and what I could have done differently, but by the time I rolled onto my back, a weird sort of calm had settled over me.
Maybe it was because, in the grand scheme of things, what Violet had done was a small act of pettiness. Yes, it had hurt my feelings because I had worked hard on that painting, which was meant to be a birthday gift for Alexei, a heartfelt gift. But I didn’t expect Violet to understand that.
She didn’t have a heart after all. I doubted she had done anything heartfelt in her entire life. She wasn’t the kind of woman who did anything without personal gain. And that was on her. If she could happily go through life that way, that was up to her. I wasn’t going to lower myself to her level.
I was better than that. I was better than her. And by default, I was better than Alexei as well. With that thought, I pushed myself to my feet. The anger still made me shake, but the realization made me calmer.
I showered quickly, scrubbing my tear-stained face and paint-splattered body under the scolding hot water. The next thing I did was check my phone, which I had luckily left in here when I went downstairs. I didn’t want to think of the calls I would miss if I’d taken it with me.
There were no calls, but I made doubly sure anyway.
The doctor had been pretty adamant that Alessia was top of the list now and that if anything came through, I would be the first to know. But I would need to go to the hospital straight away to make sure the paperwork was filed properly. There could be no more relying on Alexei for that.
I would not leave my sister’s life in anyone’s hands but mine. It was the way it had always been. In this crazy, hard world, I could only rely on myself and my sister. No one else.
That thought made me even calmer. There was something almost relaxing knowing my fate was back in my hands. I would let Alexei have his Violet and vice versa. They deserved each other, and I deserved better.
Keeping my cell phone close to hand, I curled up on the bed and fell into a book. I didn’t check the door or go in search of food even though the sun seemed to set really quickly, and my stomach grumbled. I wouldn’t give Alexei the satisfaction of rattling the door handle if it were locked.
It was almost completely dark, and I had clicked on the lamp next to the bed when the door handle turned, and Alexei appeared in the doorway. I glanced at him for a fraction of a second and then went back to the book. My eyes scanned the page without taking in any of the words.
“You didn’t come down for dinner,” he said in a flat voice. I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn’t hungry, and my stomach rumbled and made me a liar. “I assumed you wanted to take it with Violet,” I said, closing the book with a snap and dropping it to my lap.
“Amy,” he sighed heavily. “This is your home, of course, I want you to eat. Having Violet here doesn’t change that.”
My head snapped upwards. I watched as he shrugged off his shirt and placed it haphazardly over the back of the chair. Each one of his movements was stiff, like he was exhausted.
“I will gladly make myself a sandwich or something if I get hungry.” Opening the book again, I hid my face with it. It was easier to pretend to read than watch him get undressed because that just awakened a familiar hot ache between my thighs.
“I can get you something, Amy.”
“No, thank you.”
His sigh rattled the air around me. “I’m sorry, OK?” There was another sigh, this one even deeper than the one before. “I overreacted down there. The painting was a masterpiece, and I am so grateful you did it. I am sure we can fix it.”
I scoffed before I could help myself. A snort left my nose.
“I should have handled the situation differently.” Without warning, a hand closed around my ankle and yanked me down to the bottom of the bed.
The book dropped on my face, and I let out a cry as it hit my nose.
Grabbing it, he tossed it away, and suddenly he was over me.
His weight held off me on his elbows as he hovered above me.
“I am sorry, Amy.” Dropping his head, he rubbed his nose into my freshly washed hair. “About the painting, about the party, about your sister. I am sorry for everything.”
“It’s fine, Alexei.”
“No, it’s not.” One big hand pulled on my knee, lifting my leg over his hip so he could drop his hips into me and grind. Need blossomed in me just like I knew it would.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” Alexei’s lips moved against my throat.
I opened my mouth to tell him he couldn’t. But instead of words, a moan left my lips. It was almost unfair how good he was with his mouth. It was impossible to stay mad at him when he was kissing his way down my throat like he was.
“I won’t let you down again, Amy.” His sinfully good mouth dropped lower, peppering kisses over my breasts, which were covered by a thin nightdress, and dropping even lower.
He slithered to the end of the bed, pushing the thin white material up over my stomach to bare my naked stomach to him.
Grabbing my hips, he pulled my pussy towards his lips.
His eyes clashed with mine. “I swear I won’t let you down again.” The words were barely out of his mouth before he was licking me. His tongue was firm as he parted me and delved inside. My back arched off the bed, and my hand fisted the covers and twisted.
One lick was all it took for me to completely forget everything he had done and said.
Alexei’s tongue swirled around my swollen clit, and his fingers parted and slipped inside, thrusting and curling in time with his tongue until I didn’t know which way was up, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing but him and what he made me feel.
Maybe I had been overreacting and letting the jealousy take over. After all, Violet was his past. Alexi was right here in bed with me and making love to me with his tongue. Surely, he wouldn’t be doing that if he didn’t want to be with me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” One last swirl of his tongue around my sensitive nib and he was crawling over me. Pushing my night clothes up to free my breasts, he fell on top of me.
The first thrust into my body made me cling to him. It was so smooth, so fluid that I almost came apart right there and then. Gathering me in close, he held me like I was the most precious thing in the world to him. His breath was hot in my ear, and I could hear the groans in his voice.
I clung to him, wrapping my legs around his waist because I wanted to be close to him. I needed to feel his body moving against mine. It was bliss, the type of coming together that I had missed so much. I just hadn’t realized how much I had missed the loving side of Alexei until that moment.
Running my hands up his back, I cupped his cheeks in my hands and tried to move his mouth to mine. I wanted to taste his groans.
Instead, he sucked on the hollow of my throat for a second, refusing to give me his mouth. His pace increased, becoming punishing. Shifting his weight upwards, he hooked my legs over his shoulders and lost himself in my body with a rumbling groan.
Deep inside of me, I could feel his pulse and throb. His already hard and heavy cock seemed to swell. Pushing me over the edge with him. But my scream of pleasure lodged in my throat.
Alexei wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at the wall, his eyes half closed.
Instantly, my body stiffened, the ebb and flow of my orgasm dwindling down to nothing. Look at me, I prayed silently, but his eyes remained glued to the wall above my head. And I knew why.
Pain ripped into me, a physical sort of thing that twisted my guts and made me want to vomit.
“Alexei,” I begged, and tears made my voice thick.
He didn’t even blink. It was like nothing else existed but the image he had in his mind as he spilled his seed inside of me.
Deep down, I knew that he was picturing her.
My hands balled into fists, and I pushed at his chest.
“Amy—” Shaking himself, he slipped from my body and rolled to the side, his chest rising and falling in heavy pants. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Alexei reached for me, and I moved away from him as quickly as I could.
Hurt me? I stared at him open-mouthed. Did he really not know what he had just done?
Or did he not care? Looking at him, I realized he honestly didn’t know.
Tears fell down my cheeks, and his cum leaked from my body and dripped down my thighs as I stood there and stared at him looking so relaxed in our bed.
“You were thinking about her, weren’t you?”
His once sleepy, relaxed eyes grew hard. “What are you on about women?” he sighed. “Come back to bed.”
“You were thinking about Violet.” I snapped back, and my voice rose to a scream. “Just admit it. You were thinking about her when you were making love to me.”
Throwing an arm across his eyes, he grumbled something under his breath.
“Talk fucking English to me, you—”
“Watch your next words, wife.” There was no hint of the sweet man I had been falling in love with in his voice. “This jealousy is beneath you, Amy, and I won’t tolerate it a second longer. Violet is my friend. That is all.”
“No, she isn’t,” I said in a whisper. “She will never just be your friend, and I am—” I sucked in a breath to try and calm my rattled nerves. “She is the one you want.”
He was off the bed in a second, a naked, angry god who towered over me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into his body with so much force that the breath left my lungs in a whoosh.
“Amy, listen to me because I am only going to say this once. Violet is here because she needs someone, because she has no one else but me. I thought you would understand that. But I guess the whole helping people was an act after all.”
“Just divorce me and—”
His grip on me tightened until I knew he would leave bruises on my hips. “Stop this. I will not and have no plans to divorce you, Amy.”
“But you could be with her.”
“You are my wife,” he spat, “and you will remain my wife.” Alexei looked and sounded half-crazed. It was almost like it was a punishment to say those words. So why was he so adamant we had to stay married?
Unless…
“But why?”
That’s what didn’t make sense to me. It was clear to anyone with eyes that he was madly in love with Violet. Hell, she was having his baby for God’s sake, so why not divorce me and be with her? Our relationship was nothing more than a business deal after all.
“Because you are my wife.” He towered over me, his face looked almost half-crazy, but his voice was firm. Those words seemed to mean more to him than they did to me because I sure as hell didn’t understand why he wanted to stay married to me when he had her. But it was clear he did.
The real question was why?