Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amy
I felt nothing over the next three days but a sense of hollowness in the pit of my stomach that seemed to get bigger every time I saw him, which wasn’t that often.
Alexei didn’t come to our bed again, and I didn’t ask him where he was sleeping because, honestly, I didn’t think I could handle the truth.
The suspicions were bad enough. I didn’t really see Violet either, and that was a good thing. I wasn’t sure I could handle actually seeing them all happy together. My nerves were too frayed for that, and my heart was, well, it was broken.
I just couldn’t tell anyone why. It wasn’t like I had a group of close girl friends around me. Sometimes, I thought about calling Gabriella and opening up to her, but she had been friends with Alexei a lot longer than she had been with me, and I wasn’t sure where her loyalty lay.
On day three, my phone rang, and it was Gabriella herself.
“Amy,” her voice was a breath of fresh air. “Are you OK? I’ve been calling the house, and they said you were sick.”
I rolled my eyes. Sick to my stomach about the affair that was going on right under my nose, maybe, but not physically sick. “I’m fine now, thank you for checking up on me, though.” I lied and told the truth in equal measures.
“What happened after the party, and you best tell me Alexei grovelled on his hands and knees to you.” She ended in a giggle.
He had fallen to his knees in the way she meant in the days after, but he hadn’t really been there with me because he had been imagining her. Not that I could tell Gabriella that. It was still too painful to say out loud. Too humiliating.
“Yeah,” I said, noncommittally.
Her laughter rose up. “I knew it. Alexei is crazy about you. So everything is good now?”
It was at that moment that a second call came through the phone. I stared at the incoming number, and my heart lurched, and my stomach turned over.
“Gabriella?” I said so quietly that I barely heard it over the hammering of my heart.” The hospital is calling. I need to—”
“Of course, ”she said quickly. “Call me if you need me. I’ll be praying it’s good news for you both. I am here if you need me.”
I knew she meant that. My fingers flew over the keys as I ended that call and added the other one.
“Is it?” I couldn’t even get the words out. My voice sounded strangled.
“Calm down, Amy. It’s good news,” the doctor’s voice was soft but urgent. “We have a heart. The theater is booked. Can you get down here?”
I was already moving, running full tilt out of the bedroom and almost tripping down the stairs. Mrs. Cole appeared in the kitchen doorway, her eyebrows raised in a silent question. She took one look at me, barefoot, with the phone against my ear, and nodded her head.
“I’ll get Micah to bring the car around for you,” she said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“I will be there within the hour.” It was getting harder and harder to talk. I was breathless from excitement and nerves. This was it. What we had been waiting for. My sister was going to be fine.
“Is that going to be quick enough?”
“Yes, Amy.” The doctor’s voice was patient. “We need to prepare Alessia for surgery anyway. Please don’t speed and have an accident. Your sister is going to need you after her operation, and I don’t fancy having to care for both of you. Your sister is hard enough work,” he joked.
I sucked in a breath. “I’ll be careful. I promise, but can you—” My mv voice broke. “Can you tell her I’m coming?”
I don’t know why that was important, but it was.
“Of course.”
The call ended just as Mrs. Cole appeared again, some sneakers and a coat in her hand. I slipped them on quickly.
“Micah.”
“Two minutes,” she promised as she ripped my coat up like I was a child. “Have you told Alexei?”
I paused. Honestly, it hadn’t even entered my mind. My hand shaking, I made the call.
“Hello?” he answered on the second ring, sounding breathless. “Hello, Amy, can you hear me?”
Barely, the background noise was loud. It sounded like he was shopping.
“Yeah.” Suddenly, this felt like a mistake, and I stumbled over my words.
“Is something wrong?” His voice was sharp. “Has something happened?”
“They have found a heart for Alessia.”
I heard his sharp intake of breath. “OK, OK, Amy. That’s a good thing. Get to the hospital as soon as you can, and I’ll meet you there, OK?”
“You are coming?”
“Of course, I am coming. My place is by your side, Amy. I am your husband.”
Until that moment, I didn’t realize I needed him. Tears stung my eyes, and I blinked them away. “Thank you, Alexei. I need you there with me. I am so scared.”
“It’s going to be alright, Amy. Just get there, and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, but the line was already dead.
Hours went by, and then some more.
Time dragged and then seemed to stop altogether, and no one came. Every time the waiting room door opened, I lifted my head, my heart exploding with the hope that it was either the doctor or my husband.
It was always neither.
Micah was the only one who came to check on me, always asking how I was in a soft, almost gentle voice, his arms full of snacks and water. I thanked him every single time and put them on the chair next to me. Untouched.
Eleven hours after my sister had been taken down to surgery, I had a stockpile of food and drink that could last me a week, and still no one came. Without meaning to, I glanced at the clock on the wall above the door and frowned.
It had been less than two minutes since I had last looked. How was that possible? It felt like at least three hours. My muscles screamed as I shifted position after sitting with my legs curled up under me for so long, but I ignored the pain.
Pain was good. It brought me back to reality. Placing my feet firmly on the floor, I dropped my head to my hands and tried to regulate my breathing. It was taking too long. The doctor said no more than eight hours, and it had been half a day already.
Something was wrong. I could feel it in my chest, which was strangely tight, like a metal band was slowly squeezing the life out of me. That’s how it felt, like I was being constricted to death. Was my sister dying?
The thought made a wet sob rip its way out of my throat. We had always been close. Was the fact that it felt like I couldn’t breathe because she couldn’t. Was Alesia losing her battle?
“I love you.” Her last words rushed through my mind, as the room around me blurred. “Remember that, Amy, whatever happens, I just want you to be happy.”
I had cut her off. Pressing my lips to her head. “Hush now, that sounds too much like goodbye, and I won’t have it.”
She had looked at me with her soft eyes and nodded.
“No more goodbyes, got it.” She had tried to laugh, and again, I kissed her.
Then she was gone, and I hadn’t even managed to say I loved her back.
Now I was hit with the realization that those words I hadn’t even let her finish might be the last ones I ever heard from her.
I didn’t want the last word I said to her to be— The door opened, and this time I didn’t look up until the shoes of a man came into view.
“Amy?” The doctor’s voice was kind of tired.
Slowly, I lifted my head, barely believing my eyes as I stared at him through my bloodshot eyes.
“Doctor?” At any second, I expected his form to disappear.
“Have you been here all this time?” he glanced around. “Alone?”
I didn’t bother nodding. Instead, I climbed to my feet and swayed.
God, I was tired, both emotionally and physically. It felt like I was on my feet by pure willpower alone.
“My sister?” My voice was croaking. “Can I see her?”
“Let’s sit down, Amy.”
The swaying intensified, and my heart plummeted into my toes. My vision turned black. Dimly, I was aware of his firm hand under my elbow. He guided me into my seat and took the one next to me.
“Deep breath, Amy. Just breathe, please.”
I was breathing, wasn’t I? It took me a few extra breaths to realize I was hyperventilating.
“Is she?” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I refused to say the word dead.
“No, Amy. Alessia is—”
Not letting him finish, I launched myself off the chair and at him, holding him to my chest as I sobbed. “Oh, thank you. Thank you so much, doctor.” Relief flooded me.
She was going to be OK. And that made all of this OK. All the waiting and tears and panic seemed to melt away, and a weight lifted off my shoulders.
“Amy, you have to let me talk.” He untangled himself from my arms. “There were some complications.”
And just like that, my happiness disappeared. “What?”
“She arrested several times.”
“But she’s alive. The heart—”
“We have to remain hopeful. Alessia’s body is fighting very hard, so we can’t give up on her yet. She is going to need you to be strong for her, Amy. Can you do that?”
He was talking to me like I was a child, and I didn’t even care. As long as Alesia was still breathing, I could be strong.
“Can I see her?”
He looked dubious. “She is in ICU. We have had to place her in a medically induced coma to give her body a chance to get strong enough. I think the best thing for everyone is for you to go home. Is there someone I can call?” Again, he looked around. “Your husband, maybe?”
“No,” I said deadpan. “There’s no one.”
His eyes filled with sympathy, “I see, but you do need to go home and rest, Amy. You can barely sit up, and you aren’t any use to Alessia if you make yourself ill.”
I straightened my shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere until I see her.” My voice was strong, much stronger than I felt.
For several seconds, he stared at me, and then he sighed. “I can see there’s no point arguing with you. Come on then, let’s reunite my favorite sisters.” He took my elbow and helped me keep my feet.
We walked the length of the hallway and then got into the elevator. The entire time he spoke in a quiet, calming voice, but I barely heard a word he said.
Outside the door, he paused and turned me to face him. Holding me steady. “This is going to be a shock, Amy. There are a lot of machines and tubes and things, and that can be scary, but everything in this room is working hard to keep your sister alive.”
“I’m ready. I’ll be OK.”
He swung open the door to the room that seemed to be bathed in dull, blue light. The beep and whirl of machines filled my ears, and in the center of all of that, her body and face almost unrecognizable, was my sister.
Suddenly, I wasn’t ready or OK at all.
She looked so tiny and so broken. My legs buckled, and I slid to the floor as I stared at the still, almost lifeless body of my sister. The machines keeping her alive continued to beep and whizz. And I knew that I would never be OK ever again.