Chapter 18
Jake
I pull up to the cabin and head upstairs. Passing her room, I see that the door is open, and Mia is not in there. She’s likely by the pool. It’s been two days since I kissed her, and we haven’t talked about it, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’tstopped thinking about it.
I’ve been busy with the hotel, and with the bank, which I don’t want to think about right now, but still, I always find myself wandering back to our kiss. It’s fucking insane how much she occupies my mind. The softness of her lips, the taste of cotton candy from her tongue, a taste I didn’t know I was craving until now. What kind of adult still used cotton candy toothpaste? I don’t care, I loved it.
I’ve kissed plenty of girls before, like a lot, but none of them had been stuck in my head like this.
This is a big problem.
I quickly change into shorts and a tank top, ready for some fresh air after a long day at the hotel.
Sliding the door open, I spot her lounging by the poolside under the moonlight, absorbed by whatever book she’s reading on her Kindle.. She’s on her stomach, her swimsuit fits her perfectly, and the outdoor lighting kisses her light brown skin, making it glow. As I get closer, I notice her biting on her lower lips, her thighs are squeezing together. “What’s got the princess so focused?” I tease, and she jumps, clearly startled.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” she says, flustered. She sits up and turns off her kindle.
I claim the lounge chair next to her. “So, what were you reading?”
“None of your business,” she fires back a little too quickly. I already kno w, princess.
I shoot her a knowing look and a smirk. I’m willing to bet she’s so fucking wet right now; I can almost smell it in the air. Fuck, I want to see for myself.
“What?” She eyes me suspiciously.
“Nothing.” I lay back on the lounge chair and fixate on the stars. We’re both avoiding talking about the kiss.
This woman is my kryptonite, unsettling my balance in unexpected ways. After just a month with her, she’s stirred up a whirlwind inside of me. One that I’m still trying to navigate. I’m drawn to her, wanting to kiss her and crave her touch, driven by a desire that’s as intense as it is perplexing. Yet, I’m afraid of hurting her, of crossing a line we can’t return from.
Despite my best efforts to maintain some emotional distance, I care about her. She sometimes gets on my nerves, yet paradoxically, that only pulls me closer, making me want to be near her even more. It’s a tumultuous blend of desire and apprehension, attraction and fear, protective instincts clashing with the frustration she so easily evokes.
“How’s your novel going?”
She looks away, avoiding my gaze.
“What is it?”
She’s quiet, and I wait for her to share if she wants. “I want to finish the book by the end of the summer to prove to myself—and my dad—that I can do this, but it’s been harder than I thought. What if I can’t do this?” She sighs as she stares up at the stars.
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m not a writer, but I know it’s hard for me to come up with content ideas when I’m stressed. Don’t think about a timeline, or your dad. Just write.” I turn to look at her and she smiles. Her face shines brighter than the moon.
“Maybe you’re right, or I should just open a bookstore café.”
“A bookstore café?” I turn all my attention to her.
“Yes, I’ve always wanted to open a bookstore café with drinks and sweets named after books and characters.”
“That sounds amazing, and you can do both, be an author and own a café.”
“You think so? I know nothing about business.”
“Yeah, you love books and coffee, so it’s perfect, and if you need anything, I’m here, okay?”
“Okay, but I don’t think that makes me qualified.” She giggles.
“With passion, you can do anything.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. What’s your book about?”
“It’s about a God living in an underwater world. He’s not a merman or anything. Their world is similar to ours but doesn’t float—it’s like their outside world is encased in water, almost within a globe. They have everything we do, like a sun and a moon, but it’s all artificial, powered by their advanced technology, even oxygen. The FMC lives on the island above their world, and she’s this badass, saving kids from criminals who’ve taken over her island.”
“I would read that. It sounds amazing. If you need someone to read as you write, I’m definitely in.”
“You want to be my alpha reader?” she says with a questioning look in her eyes.
“I don’t know what that is, but yes, sure, anything.”
She laughs. “It means exactly what you said. You get to read my book as I write, and you can offer your thoughts and feedback.”
“Well, I might not be a lot of help because I know nothing about writing, but I’ll be honored.”
“I’d love that, thank you.” She grins, showing off her beautiful white teeth.
She leans back in her chair and gazes at the stars again.
“Sometimes I think my mom is up there, as one of the stars, shining bright and watching over me. She was the only one that believed in me and in my writing, and I want to make her proud. Sometimes when I’m writing, I can almost feel her beside me. Her voice echoing in my head, pushing me to keep going. I know it’s stupid, right?”
“It’s not stupid. That’s beautiful,” I whisper back to her.
“I miss her so much,” she says so softly I almost don’t catch it.
“I’m sorry that she’s gone.”
“Thanks.” Her gaze turns to meet mine. Her face looks sad but calm under the soft glow of the night. Eyes glisten with unshed tears, reflecting the stars above. Her lips are open, as if she wants to say more, but stays silent as she returns her eyes back to the sky. The silence between us is comfortable, as if we don’t need words to understand each other.
She gets up to leave, but I grab her arm and gently pull her into my lap. Her legs instinctively wrap around my waist. . The pool’s blue lights reflect off the water, dancing across her skin. No woman has ever made me nervous before, but she does. Her chest rises and falls quickly with every breath. My eyes drop to her lips, and I want to kiss her so badly.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
“About what?” She tilts her head slightly, her eyes searching mine, making my heart pound harder.
“About the kiss.”
She looks down, avoiding my eyes, her cheeks turning red.
“Look at me,” I say gently, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. “We can pretend the kiss never happened, ignoring the attraction and chemistry between us, and try to be friends.” I trace my fingers along her arm, and her body shivers under my touch. I want to give her the choice, even when my body craves hers. “Or,” I continue, holding her gaze, “we can have an amazing summer together, no strings attached.” My heart races as I watch her reaction.
She swallows hard as she bites her lower lip. She needs to stop doing that if she doesn’t want me to take her right now on the lounge chair.
“What does that mean, exactly?” Her eyes hold mine under the moonlight.
“It means I want to kiss you, I want to feel your body beneath me, I want to make you feel good and forget everything else.” I know she needs the distraction as much as I want to provide it, even if she won’t admit it.
She wants this.
I want this.
“Is this for one night? Last time I checked, you don’t sleep with the same girl twice.”
“I want you every day, every night, every hour. I want you to be mine for the summer. No catching feelings, just two people enjoying each other.” Knowing this is only for the summer gives me some kind of control. We are free to explore whatever is going on between us, and when the summer ends, we can go our separate ways.
I can do that, without risking falling for her right?
“Can I think about it?”
“Okay.” I nod, kissing her cheek before standing up. Her legs are still around my waist. I gently place her on the ground, my hands lingering on her hips for a moment.
“Good night, Mia.”
“Good night, Jake.” She turns and walks away, and I already miss her.