Chapter 25
Jake
I need to get ready to head to the hotel and make sure everything is moving smoothly with the renovations, but instead, here I am propped up on my elbow, watching her sleep.
Her curls spread across the pillow in a wild, beautiful disarray. Her long lashes cast tiny, perfect shadows on her cheeks. Her lips, the ones I enjoy kissing, are slightly parted.
I could lay there and watch her for hours.
Eventually, I force myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom for a shower. Once I’m ready, I kiss her goodbye before heading out. I like the way she stirs and mumbles something.
A few minutes later, I’m sitting in the office, poring over the budget. We didn’t account for the broken pipe from a couple of weeks ago, plus we had to cancel some reservations to accommodate the guests—and none of that was planned for in the budget. We’re not even close to covering the loan payment for this month. My head rests in my hands as I stare at the spreadsheets. It’s a disaster. I’ve already invested too much of my own money and time.
A knock at the door pulls me away from the spreadsheet.
“Hey,” Sarah peeks her head in.
“Hey.” I walk up to her for a hug.
“How are you doing?”
“Not great. Nothing is turning out the way I wanted it to.”
“It’s going to be okay,” she assures me, but her eyes don’t hide her own doubts. “So, I got your new website up, and I have a marketing plan set up for when the renovations are done.” She opens her laptop in front of me, and her enthusiasm ignites some optimism in me.
“This is amazing, thank you,” I say, grateful for her help.
“I always got you.” She takes the seat across from me.
I sense there’s more she wants to say, so I lean back in my seat with my arms crossed over my chest.
“What is it?” I chuckle.
“Nothing, it’s just… I really like Mia.”
“She’s easy to like.” I couldn’t help the smile that escapes.
“She seems to like you,” she says, then pauses. “What’s going on between you two?”
“What do you mean?”
“I see the way you look at her with those goofy eyes and that idiot smile.”
“What idiot smile?” Another involuntary smile makes its way onto my lips as I think about her sleeping face from this morning.
“That one.” She laughs, pointing at my face.
“Nothing is happening, we’re just two people enjoying the rest of summer together and having fun.” I run a hand through my hair, waving off her observation. She’s seeing things that are not there.
“What happens after that?” She crosses her legs.
“We go our separate ways.”
“That’s it?” She stands, facing me.
I shift uncomfortably in my chair; my throat tightens, making it hard to breathe. “Mia and I have been on the same page since the beginning,” I sigh, the uncertainty of my own words hanging heavy in the air.
“It’s either you’re more stupid than I thought, or you’re lying to yourself.” She rolls a paper and throws it at my head.
“Ouch.” I feign, even though it barely touches me.
“It’s okay to feel, Jake, to want more.” She stares at me as if she’s trying to get me to confess something.
I laugh, a short burst that lacks any actual humor, and shaking my head. “We’re just enjoying the summer, that’s all,” I repeat, clinging to this narrative like it’s a lifeline.
I avoid her gaze, focusing on anything but her too-knowing eyes. The patterns in the wood grain of the desk suddenly seem fascinating.
“Mia and I… we know what we’re doing,” I insist, more to convince myself than her.
“Ugh!” She sighs dramatically, moving towards me and I stand up to give her a hug. “I can’t wait to tell you I told you so.” She punches me before walking away and out of the room.
It’s suddenly colder and the quietness is more pronounced. I turn back to my computer screen, but the number blurs into insignificance. My thoughts drift involuntarily to Mia, her smile, her laughter, the way her eyes light up when she looks at me.
She occupies my mind. I miss her the second I leave the cabin. I could kiss her for hours. She makes me feel things, not even climbing, makes me feel. I hate that Sarah is right.
What the hell am I supposed to do in a couple of weeks when she leaves? I know it’s the adrenaline talking. It will fade, like the buzz from a night out. Right now, I’m drunk off of her her presence, but soon, I’ll have to sober up.
I dread the inevitable hangover, the longing that’ll ache like a migraine. And what then, when I yearn for another drink, or crave this feeling again? I can’t simply go back to anything ordinary after savoring the finest whiskey.
She’s not just any whiskey; she’s the rare kind you come across once in a lifetime. Each aspect of her possesses a unique refinement that cannot be replicated.
The first sip that sparks the senses is her laughter, rich and warming. Her kindness, the complex undertones that add depth and linger on the palate. Her spirit, bold and invigorating, like the fiery finish of a high-proof spirit that leaves you breathless yet wanting more.
Every moment with her deepens the flavor, enriches the experience, making it harder to settle for anything less.
I shake my head, diving into work, but the tightness in my neck remains, and a warmth spreads through me every time I think of her. Maybe we should give each other some space.
Just as I clicked the last form of submission and exhaled a sigh of relief, ready to leave, a notification blinked at the corner of my screen—an email that grabbed my attention with the urgency of a siren.
Opening it, I froze, the sender’s name tightening a knot in my stomach.
Hi Jake,
I have been trying to reach you, but it seems you’ve blocked my number. I’m hesitant to address this in an email, but I feel as though I have no other choice given our last conversation. You were quite upset then, and it didn’t seem like the right moment to discuss this.
Before your dad passed away, he came to see you because he had something important to share—something he hoped would bring peace between you. Given the circumstances, he couldn’t. He wanted you to meet someone very important: your little sister. She’s one now; she was just a baby when your dad died, so she doesn’t know him. I would really like for you to meet her. She has green eyes and blonde hair, much like you.
I want to say it again. Your dad loved you deeply, and whatever happened, it was never about you. Sometimes, when we’re young, we craft our own narratives. Your dad and I loved each other. When I started working at the hotel that summer, I didn’t plan to fall in love with him, and he certainly didn’t take advantage of me. I was 20 years old and fully aware of my feelings despite our age difference.
I’ve attached my address below in case you decide you want to meet your sister. I’ve also included my phone number if you’d prefer to start with a video chat.
Warm regards,
Jessie
My heart pounds in my chest as I try to process the words on the screen. A sister? My sister? A daughter between my dad and Jessie. Just thinking about it makes me sick. My hand’s still holding the mouse, trembling. I let go, my fingers splayed out on the desk.
All the anger and resentment I’ve felt before when I found Jessie in his office, come crashing down, hot and seething. She thought that an email would fix everything, that I would forgive them now that our lives are more intertwined than ever.
But while there’s a part of me that’s curious about her, my sister, I can’t ignore the complexity of the situation. I’ve always wanted a little sister, but not like this.
I prop my elbow on the desk, resting my head in my hands, and let out a deep shaky breath. The bile rises in my throat at the thought of my dad, and I swallow hard, trying to keep it down.
I drag the cursor to save the email into my important files instead of deleting it. Once I’m done, I slam the laptop shut, a bit harder than intended, and push away from my desk, the chair scraping loudly against the floor. I stand abruptly, pacing the room before grabbing my phone. I send Alex a quick message to meet me at the climbing center. I need a climb to clear my head. I head out, my jaw clenched and fists tight at my sides.
As I pull up to the cabin to change, I hear music coming from upstairs. Stepping inside, I follow the music until I find Mia standing in front of the mirror, lost in her dance.
She is wearing those booty shorts that drive me crazy, dancing to Lovin On Me by Jack Harlow.
Her eyes catch mine, and her movements freeze.
“Jake, what are you doing here?” she squeals.
“Don’t let me stop you.” I walk to the closet to change and grab my climbing gear.
“How was your day?” She follows me.
I kicked off my shoes. “It was fine”
“Just fine?” She watches me as I remove my shirt, a frown forming on her face as she waits for my answers.
“Yep.” I pull down my pants, leaving me only in my underwear.
“Did something happen?” Her eyes trace my body as she bites on her bottom lip before she looks up at me.
“I don’t want to talk about it, and if you’re looking for a quick fuck, I’m not in the mood.” She flinches at my words, and I regret them as soon as they leave my mouth. But I can’t take them back.
I pull my shirt over my head, and when I turn around, she’s gone. I should go after her, but I can’t. Not when there’s a tornado brewing inside of me. I grab my stuff and head out.
Alex is already waiting for me, leaning against his car. He doesn’t ask questions or make small talk. I guess he knows me well enough. We drive to the climbing center in silence.
At the climbing center, we set up everything before we start.
I’ve done this so many times that I can do it with my eyes closed. I begin with a slow pace; my hands and feet are moving instinctively. My hands know where to reach, my feet know where to place. This usually helps me focus and block everything out to clear my mind, but today it’s not working.
My mind drifts back to the email from Jessie, my dad’s accident, and a little sister I never knew I had. Then the hurt in Mia’s eyes at my words. It’s all too much.
I keep reaching, but my hand slips. I’m swinging out, then crashing against the wall.
“Shit, that hurts!” A sharp pain shoots through my arm. Alex tightening the rope and bringing me down safely.
“You alright, man?” His brows furrowed together.
“Yeah.” I wince as I cradle my arm.
“Do you need to see a doctor?” His eyes are wide.
“No, it’s fine. I just need to put some ice on it.”
Alex and I got into the car and drove back to the cabin. My arm hurts, but I prefer this pain over the tightness in my chest.
Pulling up to the cabin, heavy rain and strong winds greet us. Mia.
Alex drops me off, saying he has to go. I rush upstairs, ignoring the pain in my arm.
I find her sitting on the floor, her knees pull up to her chest. She’s staring out the window at the pouring rain, and the angrily swaying trees, rocking her body back and forth.
“You, okay?” I approach her slowly, trying not to startle her.
She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even bother to look at me.
I sit next to her, staring at the window as memories of that night incident in my mind. Turning my head to look at her, I notice her shoulders heaving.
“Mia, baby, look at me, please.”
I gently grab her shoulders, turning her around, forgetting the pain in my arm. I grit my teeth, but it’s nothing compared to the pain in my chest when I see her red, teary eyes.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that.” I look down, ashamed of myself. “I just had a lot on my mind.”
She still hasn’t said anything, her silence cutting deeper than any words could.
Releasing her shoulder, I hold on to my arm. “I received an email from Jessie, and apparently, I have a little sister.” I pause, taking a deep breath. “It’s my fault she’s going to grow up without a dad.”
She turns to face me, her eyes softening, pushing me to continue.
“That night when my dad came to see me, he asked to stay over because of the storm, but I asked him to leave. I was so angry… If I had let him stay, he would still be here.” Saying the ugly truth out loud, it’s like ripping off a band aid.
She sighs, moving closer to me. Her hand hesitantly reaches for my face. The gentle yet firm touch of hers ground me. Her presence soothes me, yet it makes me feel exposed. Does she know how much power she has over me? I crave control, but with her I lose it all.
“You can’t carry that guilt with you. You didn’t know what was going to happen.” She moved to sit on my lap, cupping my face with her hands. “It wasn’t your fault.” Her voice is still a little raw from crying, but here she is comforting me even after I was a jerk to her.
I close my eyes, leaning into her touch. God, I needed this. For the first time in forever, I needed something more than climbing. I need her.
I tighten my arms around her waist, wincing at the pain.
“You, okay?” She pulls away to look at me.
“Yeah, I just hurt my arm from climbing.”
“Let me see.” She takes my arms in her hand. Her touch almost makes me forget about the pain as I look at her pretty face. Her cute nose crinkles slightly, a soft frown forms between her thick eyebrows. Her full lips that I love kissing so much press into a thin line, the corners turning down as she examines my arm.
“Jake, it’s swollen. We need to put ice on it.” Her big brown eyes are wider. She starts to get up, but I pull her closer, not ready to let her go yet.
She seems to understand without me saying it, wrapping her arms around me, and I lay my head against her neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper against her skin, pressing my lips into her neck. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” Closing my eyes, I inhale her scent. Her hair smells amazing, like sweet coconut and something else, like calm and fluffy clouds. Fluffy clouds? That doesn’t even sound like me. I glide my left hand into her hair, and she arches her body closer to me.
One of her arms tightens around me, the other gently stroking the back of my head. “It’s okay.” Her voice is soothing. What is she doing to me? It’s as if my heart is trying to whisper something, but the jumble of thoughts in my mind drowns it out.
“Come on, let’s get some ice on your arm,” she says, looking down at it with another frown.
“Do you care about me, princess?” I hold her down with one arm, trying to read her expression.
“Of course, I do. We’re… friends?” She looks down, playing with my shirt. I can hear the questioning in her voice.
What are we? I said I didn’t want to hurt her, but I know this is going to be impossible now. Yet, I selfishly want to spend every last second we have left together.
“Yeah, friends with benefits.” I lift her chin up to look at me, bringing those big, beautiful eyes to meet mine. I didn’t know brown eyes could be so captivating, so expressive, but I know she’s sad just by looking at them.
I reach out, gently tuck her curls behind her ear, admiring her face. Her thick eyebrows, her doe eyes, and the freckles you can only see when you up close. It’s crazy how much she’s come to mean to me in such a short time.
She was right, I’m a fucking asshole.