Chapter 24 Atlas #2
The fox named Henry glanced at Sam, raising an eyebrow. Sam smirked in reply while shaking his head. Tris stuck his tongue out at them both until the tall man stared at him, a Daddy glare if I ever saw one. Tristan instantly straightened in his seat.
“Good boy.”
I fought to hide my grin as Tristan blushed and Henry walked away. The dynamics in this group were fascinating.
“As entertaining as that was, I don’t mind answering,” I offered. “I’m a Daddy, actually.”
Sam grinned, sticking out his hand for me to shake across the table. “Welcome. We could use another Daddy in the group. Otherwise,” he continued, flicking a thumb toward Cameron and Tris, “these boys will have us running in circles.”
I laughed then sipped my drink.
But Sam’s perceptive gaze held mine for a few moments longer than I expected. Then he asked, “Atlas, I hope this doesn’t offend you in any way, but can I ask what your pronouns are?”
I gaped, my mouth dropping open. For a moment, Sam looked stricken, and my head shot toward Anson before I could stop myself.
Anson chuckled, shaking his head. “I didn’t say anything.”
Sam started sputtering. “I-I’m so sorry, Atlas. Please forgive m—”
I raised a hand in the air to cut him off, turning back to him with a soft smile, my shock dissipating. “There’s nothing to forgive.” Tears formed in my eyes. “It’s actually one of the sweetest things you could’ve asked.”
Much to my relief, Sam’s face relaxed.
“And to answer your question, they/them right now.”
Cameron tilted his head slightly, opening his mouth then shutting it again as though he thought better of speaking.
I huffed another laugh. “Please, feel free to ask, Cameron. I’m an open book. Anson’s told me about all of you, and I know he’d never hang out with assholes and bigots, so I trust you.”
Cameron’s smile was soft and sweet. “What did you mean by ‘right now’?”
“You caught that.” I smiled back. “I’m genderfluid, or as I like to call it, gendersparkly. That means that for me, my pronouns can change at any given time, though I prefer gender-neutral terms like ‘human’ and ‘person’ all the time. I also identify as transgender.”
Cameron’s eyes shot wide then flew to meet Sam’s. Sam nodded once, just slightly. “So do we.” Cameron’s voice was quiet, but the significance of the moment took my breath away. “We identify as trans, anyway. He/him for me and Sam.”
Instead of yelling at Cameron for speaking on his behalf like some overbearing pseudo-Daddies might have done, Sam just wrapped his arm around the man I now understood to be his boy and kissed him on the forehead. Then he turned to me. “Cameron was actually responsible for my trans awakening.”
My eyes widened. “Oh, I need this story. If you’re willing to tell it, of course.”
Sam nodded, grinning. The energy of the table changed, and while I suspected they’d all heard this story before, perhaps even lived it, we all leaned in as Sam started talking.
***
Sam’s story was fascinating, and we ended up chatting as a group for a while afterward.
I found myself laughing at Tristan’s and Nate’s antics, clearly the most fun-loving of the group, as they talked animatedly about some online game they played together.
I understood none of what they were saying.
But every so often, I’d glance over at Anson to see him grumping at Nate about something he did or said, and his disposition made me miss Miles fiercely, a burning in my chest that only lessened when I joined another conversation.
I ended up doing a lot of talking.
My second drink was gone, and while it was time to sober up, I was still thirsty from said talking, so I went up to bar for something non-alcoholic.
I stepped toward the end of the counter furthest away from the dance floor, where the music wasn’t so loud and I could hold a conversation, and smiled when Henry made his way over to me at once.
“Hi,” he started, offering his hand over the bar. “I saw you with the DASC but didn’t catch your name. I’m Henry.”
I shook his hand, my smile widening. “Atlas. It’s good to meet you officially.” I glanced over my shoulder at the booth. They were all cracking up, presumably at something Nate had said given the way his hands were currently flailing above his head as he spoke. “They’re really great.”
Henry was smiling sweetly when I turned back to him. “They really are.” After a moment of what I could only describe as wistful staring, Henry cleared his throat and turned back to me. “Anyway, what can I get you?”
I slid onto a stool near me, thinking I could use a few minutes of reprieve from peopling in a group setting. Anson’s growling at Nate was starting to prick at me a little too hard, and my chest was feeling raw. “Sparkling water with lime?”
Henry nodded. “Coming up.”
As he filled a tumbler from the soda gun, a voice on the stool beside me spoke up. “Fancy seeing you here.”
My heart stuttered, breath catching as my head whipped around and my eyes shot toward the owner of that voice.
The bear—yes, that bear—sat right next to me in a white dress shirt, a stylish patterned tie loosened around his neck, and gray suit pants.
His jacket was hanging off the bar top on the other side of him.
His reddish beard was expertly groomed, as it had been when we’d hooked up all those months ago, and his hazel eyes sparkled above rosy cheeks.
He chuckled when I gasped. “Hello again.”
I just blinked at him, my mouth open slightly. How was he . . . ? What was the likelihood of seeing . . . ? What . . . h-how—when?
My entire system had frozen, and I needed a reboot before I could sound like a normal person.
Thankfully, he let out a self-deprecating breathy chuckle and scrubbed a hand down his beard, cheeks heating. “I don’t believe I caught your name.”
I blinked a few more times, shaking my head to clear the cobwebs enough to answer him.
Henry sliding my glass—with a lime wedge perfectly balanced on the edge—across the bar helped break through my shock, too.
“A-Atlas. My name is Atlas.” I swiveled on the stool and extended my free hand to him, proud of myself for recovering as quickly as I had under the circumstances.
He clasped my outstretched hand in his, gripping it firmly but gently. “Colton.”
I blinked but pressed on. “So what brings you to Seattle, Colton?”
His smile was sweet. “My buddy owns an advertising firm here locally, and he offered me a job. I couldn’t figure out a good enough reason to stay in South Carolina, so here I am.” He spread his arms out between us as if to present himself. The effect was a little adorable. “You?”
I laughed genially, reaching to take a sip of my water. “My story is quite similar, actually. Despite the not having a good enough reason to stay, sadly.” Ugh, why the fuck did I say that?
Thankfully, Colton just flashed a sympathetic smile. “I take it you didn’t have any more unfortunate mishaps?”
I choked on my water then started laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you brought that up!”
He grinned, his smile wide and playful. His eyes were still sparkling as he shrugged. “Figured we should address the elephant in the room.”
My eyes had teared up a little with my laughter, but I’d calmed enough to speak. I coughed to ensure I wouldn’t choke again. “That’s a pretty big-ass elephant.”
He laughed, nodding at my glass. “Sorry I almost made you snort water up your nose.”
I actually snorted at that. “I’ll just have to pay you back someday.”
He hummed, looking down at his amber-colored drink. He swirled his stirrers through the liquid for a few moments before turning back to me. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Yes, I got it off.”
Colton barked out a laugh. “Now who’s being ridiculous?”
I just smirked. “I come with a side of sass.”
He smiled back. “I’m figuring that out.”
My grin widened, but I didn’t say anything in reply.
“Anyway, the personal question . . .” His voice trailed off as he looked at me expectantly, so I tipped my head in permission. “You left someone in South Carolina, is that right? Someone special?”
I nodded, tears burning the back of my throat. “I did.”
Colton nodded, staring down at his drink for a second before his eyes flicked up to meet mine again. “I’m sorry.”
I waved him off, though by the look of compassion on his face, both of us knew I was simply putting on a brave face. “He’s . . . well, I love him. It’s just not the right time yet.”
Surprisingly, his frown made me feel a little better. Maybe someone sharing my pain, even in this small way, helped. “I understand that. More than you know, perhaps.”
I raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t press further. After a moment of silence transpired between us, club music thumping in the background, I spoke up. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I changed the subject. “So how are you enjoying our fair city? How long have you been here?”
His shoulders visibly relaxed. “Not long, a few days. But I think I’m going to love it here.” He flashed me that friendly smile again. “I’m glad I ran into you, Atlas. It’s good to see you again, and it will be nice to have a friend in a new city, if I can be so bold as to assume we’re friends.”
His comment told me I was squarely in the friend zone, as it should be. I had zero interest in anyone but Miles. “Assume away, Colton, because I’m glad you’re here as well.”
We exchanged smiles as he finished his drink, left some cash on the bar top, then pushed from his seat and headed toward the exit.
Henry whistled lowly once he was out of hearing range. “You okay?”
My eyes shot to his at the unexpected question.
I knew bartenders usually had a knack for offering a listening ear to their patrons, but Henry seemed more perceptive than most. “Yeah, thanks.” A small smile pushed up the corners of my mouth.
“It’s just . . .” I waved around the bar, not knowing how to put what I was feeling into words.
“Ah.” Henry nodded as he dried a glass with a towel then set it aside.
I took another sip of my drink but stayed quiet, sensing he had more he wanted to say.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it sounds like you’ve had a rough go of it lately.” He glanced over my shoulder to the booth with his friends in it. “And I’m guessing being around them only helped so much.”
Shit, he really was that perceptive. I raised a finger. “Got it in one.”
Henry’s smile was compassionate as he tossed the towel on the counter beneath the bar top. “I’m a good listener if you want to chat.” He glanced down the bar, which had considerably cleared out in the past hour, and shrugged. “Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger.”
I flicked my hair off my forehead. The gel I used to hold it in place had started to fail. “Thanks, Henry. That’s very sweet of you. But I’m okay for now.”
“Got it.” He pushed off the bar top. “But the offer stands if you ever need a friend.”
My smile was genuine. “I appreciate that. You seem like you’d be a good friend to have.”
Henry’s eyes flashed with humor, and he leaned in conspiratorially to deliver his next line. “Us Daddies have to stick together, after all.”
My mouth dropped open. “You must have impeccable hearing.”
He snickered, throwing up his hands. “Not when I spend most of my time here.” His eyes trailed over the undulating dance floor before landing back on me.
“Just a feeling I had. Being friends with Anson, the way you acted with the group, how you spoke about the man you loved . . . I’m just glad I was right and didn’t offend you. ”
I waved him off this time. “Not at all. It’s nice you noticed, actually. I’m used to people assuming I’m a boy given the way I look.”
Henry studied me for a moment. “We aren’t all as we appear.”
What did that mean? I wondered but didn’t ask as I pushed off my stool. Maybe something to do with what I sensed going on between him and Tristan? “It was great chatting with you, Henry. I’d love to do it again sometime.”
His smile was wide. “Anytime, Atlas.” He reached into his pocket, producing a business card and handing it over the bar. “My cell’s on there. Give me a call if you ever need someone to talk to.”
“Thanks.” I shoved the card into the pocket of my ankle-length suit pants. “I really appreciate it.”
Henry tapped the bar top, stepping back. “Take care of yourself. I hope everything works out with your boy.”
“Me, too.” With a wave, I headed back to the booth to tell Anson and the rest of the group I was leaving.
The hole Miles had left in my heart was still aching, but coming here tonight, being around like-minded people had helped, and the pain had mellowed a bit.
God, I hoped Miles would come back to me, and I still missed him like I was missing half of my heart, but the hurt was just a little more bearable tonight.
And that would have to be good enough for now.