Chapter 24 Atlas
Chapter twenty-four
Atlas
This was quite possibly the longest day ever. I mean, we were close to the first day of summer, technically the longest day of the year, though with the misty, sixty-degree weather in Seattle today, no one would be able to tell.
I’d taken a ride share from the airport to avoid having to interrupt Anson on Sunday, and I’d been so busy with everything at my new job—which I could see myself really enjoying but had a steep learning curve after being out of the industry for nearly a year—that I hadn’t had a chance to call him to catch up.
But after that excruciating conversation with Miles, I needed a friend.
So I headed home a little early and gave Anson a call. He insisted on coming over as soon as he heard how heartbroken I was.
God, I’d missed him.
When he arrived at the front door of my swanky high-rise apartment, I led him to my new home’s mid-century modern leather davenport in white.
It sat between a matching loveseat and two identical armchairs arranged in a U shape around a large black leather ottoman.
A plush Oriental rug grounded them in the middle of the massive great room.
To my left, a wall of tall windows overlooked the city and Elliott Bay, and behind me, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves covered the entire wall from the windows to the front door, which sat near the luxuriously appointed chef’s kitchen and large dining room.
We settled in facing a wall-mounted entertainment center that rivaled most movie theaters, while a high-end, inset fireplace took up the wall to our left.
Anson listened as I told him everything I hadn’t shared during the few phone calls and video chats we’d had over the past month or two. I cried through most of it, and he’d offered an abundance of hugs and tissues alongside his commiserating exhalations and words of wisdom and consolation.
When I was done, he pulled me into his millionth hug of the night. “I missed you, boo.”
I smiled at one of my closest friends, realizing how true that was for me as well. “Fuck, I missed you, too.”
He eyed me. “But that pales in comparison to how much you miss Miles.” It wasn’t a question, because it was glaringly obvious to us both.
Tears leaked from my already swollen red eyes as I nodded. “Every inch of me misses him.” I sniffed, turning to look at my friend. “Did I make the wrong decision? Should I have stayed?”
Anson sighed. “It was an impossible decision. You would’ve resented him eventually if you’d stayed, by your own admission. That’s not a healthy way to start a long-term relationship, despite how much you love him.” He caught my gaze and held it. “We both know that love isn’t enough.”
I nodded, remembering some of his own story. Speaking of . . . “I can’t talk about this any longer—tell me all about you! What have I missed in the past six-ish months? How’s Nate?”
“We’ve been good.” If I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve said Anson’s smile was dreamy. Was he finally going to admit he was into Nate? He’d never said as much, but I’d seen them together. Anyone with eyes could see the gobs of sexual tension between the two of them.
Anson had long insisted nothing was going on between them, though I’d always suspected he’d have preferred there was. Nate was probably completely clueless. But I hoped they worked out; they were perfect for each other.
He filled me in on his life since the last time we talked—which I was ashamed to say was much too long ago—and he stayed until our stomachs started growling and we ordered takeout teriyaki for dinner.
I’d missed it here. I’d missed Anson and Nate and my other friends.
I’d missed being in a city with my choice of gay bars.
I’d missed being able to get takeout at all hours and the bustle of the city and the sounds of the light rail as it transported people across town and the frequent misting rain that made the trees and grass shine like emeralds and the streets and buildings like diamonds.
But Anson was right; I missed Miles so much more than all of that combined.
I just didn’t know what to do about it.
Anson stayed late, and after the emotional rollercoaster of this week—not to mention today’s gut-wrenching phone call with Miles—I fell into bed when he left, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
Chase called me into his office the next day, which hadn’t happened all week. What was going on?
He had me close the door behind me, and despite knowing it was too early to get fired from a job I’d just started, my stomach was churning. I reminded myself of all the money he’d spent to get me on board. Surely he wouldn’t fire me after a week, right?
“I have some news I thought you’d like to hear.”
I settled into the chair opposite him, all but assured I wasn’t getting fired. “Yes?”
He leaned back in his leather desk chair, folding his hands and resting them on his flat, dress shirt-clad stomach between the open sides of his suit jacket.
The chair looked a little ostentatious with its high back and tufted surface, but I knew from experience it was supremely comfortable—I had the same one in my office.
“As you know, I’ve been stealing as many of Jon Hosier’s clients from him as I could. I’ve been largely successful.”
My eyebrow quirked up. “That’s great news.”
“That’s not the news.”
“Oh?”
Chase nodded. “This isn’t public yet, but it will be in the next day or so.
I’ve been working with the authorities on bringing him down.
” I gasped. “Turns out, he’s not only a shitty human—he’s also a criminal.
Since I gave a lot of his clients a safe place to land after he tried to swindle them, I heard all their stories and helped gather proof.
They arrested him earlier today. Sounds like he’s going away for a long time. ”
My hand flew to my mouth as tears welled in my eyes, making it a little hard to breathe. “Really?”
Chase’s smile was kind and apologetic. “I can’t give you your company back, Atlas, but I hope this job is a nice consolation prize.
You deserve it and more.” He took a breath, leaning in as his expression grew serious.
“You earned this position—you were absolutely my first and only choice for CMO—but it was a bonus to do what I could to give you back just a bit of what that horrible man stole from you.”
Tears were flowing freely now, and I loved that Chase wasn’t the type of guy to shame me for it. Toxic masculinity had no place here; he’d made that clear on my first day. “Thank you, Chase. I appreciate that more than you know.”
He nodded, smiling widely now. “You’re learning fast, Atlas. I know it’s barely been a week, but you’ll have everything mastered in no time. I’m so happy you’re here.”
I cleared my throat, my voice coming out stronger. “I’m happy to be here, too, Chase. And thank you for the news about Jon. I hope he rots in prison for a very long time.”
“Me, too, Atlas. Me, too.”
***
Days turned into weeks, everything a blur of the excitement of my new job—which I fucking adored—and the sorrow at the gaping hole Miles left in my life. On the surface, I was the bubbly, sunshiny, gendersparkly human I always was, but on the inside, my heart ached every minute of every day.
Miles had asked for time, for space, and I respected that. Of course I did. I would’ve given that man everything I had if he’d asked, so there was no question.
But it was killing me.
Those first few days had been agonizing.
I’d reached for my phone a dozen times before I realized I couldn’t text him.
I started working longer hours at the office just to stay busy.
Admittedly, I had a ton to learn, so there was always something to do.
But even in my grief, I recognized that wasn’t sustainable.
In the second week, Anson invited me to a biweekly meetup he and Nate attended for Daddies and their boys, called the Daddies and Subs Club. I agreed if only to get myself out of my head for a minute.
And it worked. Mostly.
We’d gone to Mix It Up—a gay bar Anson, Nate, and his friends frequented but that I’d never been to because I’d been too busy and then too broke when I lived here—and the excuse to take a break from work was just what I’d needed.
Honestly, the weight of having an entire company resting on my shoulders had been a lot, and I was thankful I could now leave it all at the office.
Maybe in the future, I’d feel differently, want to run my own company again, but for now, I was exactly where I needed to be.
Anson pulled me into a large circular booth by the hand, and I slid onto the bench seat beside him, setting my drink on the table.
He sipped his before starting introductions.
“Everyone, this is Atlas. Atlas just moved here from back East. Atlas, this is Sam, Cameron, and Tristan, and you already know Nate.”
I nodded as he pointed to each man in turn, noticing that Sam and Cameron were nearly in each other’s laps. Oh, yes, they were definitely together. “Hi, everyone. It’s good to meet you all.”
The man Anson had pointed out as Tristan spoke first. “So, Atlas, are you a Daddy or a boy?”
The guy sitting beside him, Cameron, smacked his arm. “Tris! You can’t just ask that!”
Tris leaned forward, looking around Cameron to his . . . partner? “Sam, a little help?”
Sam raised his hands in the air. “Ohhh no, Tris. You deserved that one.”
Tristan pouted, huffing as he fell against the seat back, arms crossed.
Before anyone could say anything else, a legitimate silver fox walked up to our table, a tray of drinks in his hand.
His white tee stretched and flexed across his muscled chest as he set the drinks in front of their respective owners, a myriad of tattoos peeking out from under the straining sleeves of his shirt. “Tristan, behave.”
Tristan gasped, uncrossing his arms to throw a hand to his chest. “I always behave, Henry!”