CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RIPLEY
I slept so hard. Barely aware of anything going on around me. I don’t remember passing out. Waking up would live in my memory though.
My mind felt fuzzy as I resurfaced from the deep sleep that had held me in its grip. My mouth was dry, my head throbbing. It took several attempts to pry my eyes open. They felt so heavy.
The room around me came into focus. A room I didn’t recognize. Where the fuck was I?
A memory took form. Me begging Auryn to fuck me. I was pretty sure he hadn’t taken me up on that. I must’ve been a real mess if he hadn’t been interested. How embarrassing.
I struggled to sit up, clutching the blankets against me when I realized I was completely naked. The sheets smelled like him, confirming that I was in his bed. Alone.
Listening hard, I tried to pick out any noise from beyond the closed door.
The faint sound of dishes clinking came from the kitchen.
What had even happened last night? The last thing I remembered was going outside with the girls to get some air and talk.
Some guy from one of my classes invited us to smoke a joint with him and his friends. I was the only one to partake.
Shit. He must have dosed me with something other than weed. I should know better than to take drugs from anyone I didn’t know well. I’d seen what that kind of thing did to my mother.
Pressure in my bladder forced me from the bed. Needing to find the bathroom quickly, I slid out of the bed and pulled Auryn’s abandoned T-shirt over my head. After locating my underwear, I tugged them on and opened the door a few inches.
There was nobody in the hallway. The bathroom was located right across the hall, allowing me to sprint across quickly and lock myself inside.
I quickly relieved myself before staring at my reflection in the mirror while I washed my hands.
Splashing some water on my face helped wake me up.
It did nothing to chase away the embarrassment.
Fragments of last night started to come back to me. I’d been pretty out of it. Auryn had brought me here, doing his best to get me through the night without issue. He’d taken care of me. I could only imagine what he must be thinking now.
Since I couldn’t hide out in the bathroom all day, I finally emerged and darted back into Auryn’s bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, holding a tray of toast and coffee.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, placing the tray on the bedside table. “I brought you coffee. You should probably try to eat a little something.”
My stomach twisted and turned. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for food yet. Toast seemed like a relatively simple start.
“Thanks. I feel like a moron.” Shoving my tangled hair back from my face, I joined him on the bed.
Auryn wore a pair of gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. He still had bedhead and a slight crease on his cheek from the pillow. I doubted he’d been up long. He slid over into the middle of the bed, motioning for me to join him.
“Come on. Let’s have coffee in bed. Feels like a day worthy of a slow start.” He waited for me to crawl in beside him before adding, “Don’t feel like a moron. It wasn’t your fault. That joint was laced.”
I released a heavy sigh, accepting the mug of coffee he passed me. “Yeah, but I should’ve known better. I’ve seen enough shit to know you don’t take drugs from strangers. Even when it seems like one innocent little joint.”
My gaze darted around the room until I spotted my purse on the floor. I desperately needed to pop a couple pills so I would feel better. Would Auryn question it? What would I tell him?
“Codie said you like cream and sugar.” Auryn followed my gaze to the purse on the floor. “I hope the ratio is okay.”
He leaned over to grab the purse strap, swinging it onto the bed. I quickly grabbed the strap, dragging the purse onto my lap. “I’m sure it will be fine. I appreciate the effort.”
Auryn placed the tray filled with buttered toast onto the bed in front of us. There were a few more slices with strawberry jam. A couple others with peanut butter. “I didn’t know what you would prefer.”
I paused with my hand in my purse to stare at him. It may have only been toast and coffee but it showed a sweet side to him that I didn’t know he possessed. His brow furrowed, like he worried it wouldn’t be enough.
“This is great, Auryn. Really. Thank you.” Bracing myself for the questions he would no doubt ask, I poured two pills from the bottle into my palm and popped them in my mouth, chasing them down with coffee.
Taking a bite of toast, he chewed thoughtfully for a moment before asking, “Do you have a drug problem, Ripley?”
I was both surprised by his bold question and a little impressed. My friends wondered the same thing, though they never said the words aloud. I knew they cared, and they were afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Auryn was a user himself. He didn’t seem to have such qualms.
“Yeah, I probably do,” I admitted, taking another sip of coffee. Finding solace in the hot elixir. “You do too.”
Auryn nodded. “Can’t argue that. I did a line of blow when I went downstairs to make coffee. Can’t start the day without it.” He paused for a long, heavy moment before adding, “I guess we’re both a bit of a mess, huh?”
“Just a little.” I offered him a small smile. There was something about being able to talk about this with someone who understood that made me feel a little better about the situation.
Picking up a piece of toast with strawberry jam, I took a small bite.
We sat there together for a few comfortable minutes eating toast and drinking coffee.
I couldn’t wait to get home and shower. Maybe grab a nap before my shift at the restaurant tonight.
At the same time, I didn’t want to leave.
Sitting there in Auryn’s bed with him next to me felt like exactly where I wanted to be.
“Did you really have a back injury?” Auryn asked, curiosity in his deep brown eyes.
“Yeah, I really did. It was pretty bad for a few weeks. I took more of the Oxy than I was supposed to, and I liked the high. So I kept taking it. Now my back is fine and I can’t get through a day without it.
” I shrugged, thinking about my mom. “Maybe I have an addictive nature. I don’t know. My mom sure does.”
Auryn gave a shake of his head, a sharp bark of laughter escaping him.
“My mom would beat my ass if she knew I was doing so much coke. She’s a social drinker, but she’s always been pretty anti-drug.
Although after my dad skipped out on us, she went through men like they were crack, so maybe she has her addictive tendencies after all. ”
“My dad left too. He was fed up with her constantly being strung out on something. After he left, it got worse. I can’t remember the last time I saw my mom sober.
We don’t get along very well, so I try to stay away.
It’s the only way to keep the peace.” Sharing this with Auryn didn’t make me cringe the way it often did when I mentioned her.
The way he nodded along as I spoke while eating his toast made me feel heard and understood.
“I’m sorry. That sucks. I get along pretty well with my mom, for the most part.
Maybe that’s because I moved out when I was seventeen.
My older brother had already been out on his own for a few years by then.
We don’t see each other much.” Auryn spoke like he’d come to terms with this a long time ago.
Had he though? Like me, I suspected there was a lot more to his drug use.
I took another bite of toast, suddenly hungry now.
“Sometimes I feel like my mom regretted having me. Like she blames me for ruining her life or something. She seemed to enjoy robbing me of a normal childhood. She wouldn’t even let me have a pet.
Not even a fucking fish. I always wished I had a kitten.
Something soft and cuddly to love. That probably sounds pretty lame. ”
“Not at all. It actually sounds really sad.” Auryn drained the rest of his coffee, staring into the empty mug. “I wish there was something I could do to help. But I doubt one addict can really help another.”
Uncomfortable with the sensation making my chest warm, I blurted, “Why would you want to help me? We’re nothing to each other, right? Nothing about us is real. It will all be over soon anyway.”
I wasn’t trying to be a jerk or ruin the moment we were sharing.
I was trying to protect myself from a man known to be a player interested in nothing more than the chase.
There was something about Auryn that drew me.
Making me wonder what it would be like if this wasn’t a fake relationship. Those were dangerous thoughts.
Auryn started to speak, then stopped. When he opened his mouth again, he said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care what happens to you. I got you home safely last night. I’m not an entirely unfeeling asshole.”
There was some defensiveness to his tone. Like maybe Auryn didn’t enjoy the reputation that he’d created for himself. There was nothing I could do about that. He built that reputation brick by brick. If he was unhappy with that, then he would need to change it.
Did he want to change it? I was too afraid to ask.
“I know. I’m sorry if that came out wrong. I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me out.” I placed a hand on his thigh, drawing his gaze to mine. “Really. It means a lot to me.”
Auryn covered my hand with his. I wondered why his knuckles were so bruised as my twisty turning stomach fluttered a little. When neither of us spoke for some time, he raised his empty mug.
“I could go for a refill. How about you?”