7. Chapter 7
“ A nnie, I resent this cliché BFF role you’re making us play, but you’re getting up. And out. Now,” Rafael screamed as he barged into my room.
I felt around for a pillow to put over my head and moaned. “Shhh, don’t yell.”
When Rainn laugh-screamed right in my ear, I opened my eyes to tell him to back off, but he was several feet away.
Opening my eyes was a mistake.
Pain.
“Here, we brought coffee.”
“Oh, I—” I started before clearing my dry throat. “Thanks, but I’m just going to stay—”
“Oh no you don’t,” Rafael said in a booming voice.
His hands were on my upper arms this time, gently pulling me up into a sitting position.
He was strong for such a lithe form as his, but then, ballet was one of the most physically demanding forms of exercise.
“You’re getting out of this room if we have to kidnap you.
You’ve done your wallowing. You excelled at it. A-plus. It’s over now. Fini .”
Rainn chimed in, his voice also loud as he sat on the bed on the other side of me. “You can make this easy or hard, Annie. Sip the coffee, take a shower, get dressed, have a light dinner, and come out with us. OR fight us every step of the way, but still the endpoint is the same.”
“Friends don’t let friends wallow for more than … what is it, Rainn, almost two weeks now?”
Rainn shook his head in wonder, like he couldn’t imagine doing that himself. “Something like that. It’s time to get out, see people, be yourself. If you’re going to drink, let’s do it at the bar or club.”
“Are you two done?” I crossed my arms over my chest, which was covered in some kind of sticky fabric that I didn’t have the stomach to look down at.
I actually didn’t feel that queasy, though my head was definitely going to explode.
Then again, I’d only been awake for a few minutes.
Was I even awake now, or was this another nightmare?
But when I pinched my own arm, I winced in pain.
“Stop shouting, boys. And even if I did want to get up and do something, I wouldn’t want to go partying. ”
The two men looked at each other, worry creasing their foreheads.
I sighed. “I need to cut back on drinking. Obviously. And … it’s sad you think that partying is the only thing I can enjoy.
You know, I like to watch movies and do other stuff.
Not just party.” It hurt, actually, that even my closest friends saw me as merely a party girl, but I didn’t want to admit it aloud.
Rafael bit his lip as he communicated silently with Rainn for a long moment.
When his sharp eyes returned to me, he took my hand.
“I know. We both know that. It’s just … I wanted to wait and tell you later, but I guess I can share it now.
I want to go out and celebrate with you guys tonight because I have some kind of big news. ”
Rainn grinned. Whatever it was, clearly he already knew.
I sat up straighter, my eyes widening as I forgot my own misery for a moment. “You’re—”
“Oh, don’t you dare steal my dramatic announcement, girl.” Rafael playfully flicked me on the arm with his finger. “Yes, I’m engaged. Joel asked me to marry him last night. ”
“ Raf , this is so wonderful!” I squealed, not even caring how much my headache worsened at the sound coming out of my own mouth.
“I know, it totally is!” he squealed in return. “I want to tell you everything, but in exchange, you have to come out with us.”
Rainn cut in then. “Annie, I know you just want to keep wallowing, but celebrating Raf’s engagement is totally worth getting out of the house for.”
I nodded slowly. “You’re right. Raf … I’m really happy for you. I’m sure I don’t look it. But I am. You and Joel are everyone’s relationship goals, but you already knew that. Will he be coming tonight?”
Rafael frowned. “No, he has a show tomorrow. It’s local, but you know how he is.
” Translation: Joel took his career seriously, and he would never go out drinking the night before a performance.
Being a professional male dancer was so physically demanding that he had to maintain top form, especially around performance dates.
I admired Joel’s dedication, even if it did sometimes spoil our fun.
“Bring him over for lunch or something soon so we can all congratulate you guys together,” I suggested.
“But for now, please give me that cold coffee and some time to shower. It may take a while to clean off all the grime I’ve accumulated from the last few days or however long it’s been.
” I laughed because, well, it was the only thing I could do.
I needed to smile and put on a brave face for my friends. And, really, for myself.
“I didn’t want to cry tonight. Dang it, Raf!” I accused him, carefully dabbing at my damp eyes, surrounded by dusky grey eye makeup that supposedly highlighted my green irises.
Rainn punched Rafael lightly in the arm. “He doesn’t even feel bad—look at him. The lovesick eyes. It’s like he doesn’t even see any other guy in the room.”
My lips twitched. “If you’d asked me a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed it possible for us to be sitting here taking shots and listening to the most romantic proposal story ever from you , of all people.”
“I mean, the part about the fountain and the music … I’ve got to say, Joel has outdone himself,” Rainn said. “Are you mad that he beat you to it? I know you’d been mulling over some proposal scenarios yourself—don’t pretend you weren’t.”
Rafael pursed his lips. “I’ll never admit it.”
“Let’s drink to that!” This had been my refrain every 5–10 minutes. And it had worked. I felt relaxed, and I could pretend I was having fun—that living it up at the bar was really what I wanted to be doing.
Pretending.
As long as the drinks kept flowing.
Rafael’s smile slipped a bit before he picked up his drink, and he eyed me closely. I pretended not to notice. I wasn’t going to be fielding questions tonight.
This night wasn’t about me.
That’s what made it bearable.
Until it wasn’t.
Not five minutes later, Rafael looked at Rainn in astonishment. “Rainn, I can’t believe you blew off that girl just now. Are you feeling OK?”
“What? I didn’t notice a girl.” He glanced around, genuinely confused.
“He didn’t notice her,” Rafael said slowly as he turned to me. “Annie, you know what that means?”
“Yep. He’s either crushing hardcore on someone else or having some diarrhea issues,” I said, swirling my drink.
Rainn spit out some of his drink. “I am—” he sputtered. “My digestive system is fine, thank you very much.”
“Then it’s a woman,” said Rafael with a sly smile, nudging me as I nodded distractedly.
Rainn crossed his arms and shook his head. “No. I don’t know … maybe. It’s too soon to tell. ”
After a moment of silence, Rafael laughed. “OK, you have your secrets for now, but we’ll expect progress reports, all right?”
“Not agreeing to that,” Rainn mumbled. “I PR’d today, and all you can do is rib me about some girl you don’t even know?”
“A-ha, so there is a girl!” Rafael said with a gleeful smile at me.
I giggled and then abruptly halted. “Wait … you set a personal record? Was your half marathon today ?”
“I’ve got the sore plantar fascia to prove it,” he said, pointing to his left foot. “But it was worth beating 1:30 finally.”
“That’s amazing, Rainn! Congratulations,” I said, throwing my arms around him and nearly knocking us both off our bar stools.
Rafael sighed, surveying the two of us with a resigned smile.
Likely he’d already congratulated Rainn earlier in the day.
Unlike me, wallowing in my own drama, Rafael probably hadn’t completely forgotten about our friend’s big race.
He had probably been there to greet Rainn at the finish line.
“Fine, you’re off the hook for now, man.
You’ll tell us about the new girl soon though. ”
Rainn flashed us both an enigmatic smile.
“And what about you, Ms. York?” Rafael asked, angling his stool to better face me.
My brows lowered and drew together. “What about me?”
“I know what you’re thinking, girl. How dare he ask me, since I’ve had my heart broken so recently, blah blah,” said my supposed best friend.
So he wanted to push my buttons. I said nothing, not willing to appease him by agreeing.
Why’s my damn glass empty?
I raised my hand toward the bartender.
“Annie,” Rafael said, more gently this time as he put a hand on mine. “I know you liked Brandon, but I don’t think you loved him. I feel like there’s more to this. More than you’re telling us.”
My mouth set in a thin line, I looked away. “Tonight’s not about me.”
“No, tonight’s about me , and I want to talk about you. ”
I crossed my arms and then heaved a great sigh. “Well, you know my mother called.”
Rafael squeezed my hand. “And that never ends well.”
“She—she’s coming here. Not to visit me, of course, but to help her latest boyfriend’s med-school daughter get settled into a new place here. Or some crap, I won’t bore you with the details. I tuned out after a while.”
“Did you tell her you’d had some personal struggles, uh, with Brandon, illness?” Rainn asked. He understood my mother less than Rafael, who knew better than to ask that question.
“I did, but she has no sympathy. She’s chronically incapable of it. She assumed Brandon had—had left me because of something I did and then accused m-me of being hysterical and making everything about me. Typical Jacqueline,” I said shakily. I tried to laugh flippantly but croaked instead.
I watched as both men’s expressions turned angry, their fists clenched and faces red—or was it the alcohol and heat of the bar?
Why am I telling them all of this? It’s nothing new, nothing they haven’t heard before .
“Guys, you know this is just how she is. Calm down. Nothing shocking here.”
“I’ve said this before, but seriously, Annie …” Rafael paused, a pained look on his face. “I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to cut her off. Completely.”
Rainn nodded, his posture tense.