14. Chapter 14 #2
“So, let’s start off by introducing ourselves.
I know some people don’t love introductions, so if you’re one of those folks, you can keep it minimal.
Tell us your first name and one thing about you.
Anything. Could be your pet’s name or your favorite author.
Or if you like talking about yourself, tell us something else, including what you like to read. Sound good?”
Many heads bobbed up and down. Not everyone was nodding, but that was OK.
I didn’t like to put anyone on the spot, but a book club did require discussion, so people did need to speak up a little.
Then again, maybe there were ways to make it more inclusive for people who were shy.
I frowned, wondering if I might have bungled things already; book lovers were probably statistically more likely to be shy, after all.
Or was that just a stereotype? I had no idea, as shyness was as foreign to me as Antarctica.
I quickly recovered my smile. “I’ll start.
I’m Annie, as I said, and I’m interning here as an event coordinator.
I’m looking to get more involved in the world of books and publishing.
I worked as an editor for nonfiction, but my real love is fiction, so that’s where I’m looking to transition into, career-wise, somehow.
I don’t want to drone on about work, but it does overlap with my interests so much because, you guys, I have loved books for as long as I can remember.
I’m the most extroverted book lover you’ll ever meet, probably.
Well, maybe besides Carlina.” I glanced at my new friend, who laughed and winked.
“I like a variety of fiction. I have a degree in English so I’ve read and enjoyed a lot of the classics, but I also enjoy genre fiction, especially rom-coms. Let’s see …
for random stuff, I also teach ballet, I love fashion, and I have a kitten named Charlie.
” I blushed when I thought of the reason I had a kitten, remembering how I’d ducked into the pet store.
Was Kylan even now connecting the dots? I didn’t dare look at him and find out.
“I think that’s enough about me. You don’t need to say that much about yourself unless you want to.
We’ll get to know each other better as we talk about the books we read, naturally. OK … Sai, how about you go next?”
Sai scowled in my direction and then looked at the floor in the center of the circle. “Hi, I’m Sai, and I work at Bookshop. I like literature.”
I waited for her to say more, but she seemed to be done. Disappointed, I forced a smile anyway. “OK, Sai, thanks. And we’ll move on—go ahead and just continue around the circle one after another.”
As the women around the circle spoke, I smiled and nodded, making occasional comments in response to what they’d revealed about themselves. But I began to feel increasingly anxious as Kylan’s turn approached.
How could I bear it? To not only look upon him but hear him speak.
To hear that slightly gravelly voice that once spoke of love, of forever, of promises that I’d never given him a chance to keep.
And that same voice that, because of my choices, began to speak to me with pain, with brokenness, and eventually with coldness.
Could I bear it? No? But I had to.
I had to. This book club was important to me. It was part of my new life, the one I was crafting for myself. I could be polite, professional, even friendly.
Sai stiffened beside me as a different voice began to speak.
It was the boy, introducing himself as Zachary, a college freshman intent on majoring in literature and women’s studies.
I snuck a glance at Sai as he spoke. She was staring open-mouthed.
So the grumpy teen girl had a crush on a bookish college boy.
A tale as old as time. My mouth twitched as I imagined how cute they would be together, how satisfying it would be to nudge them together through the book club.
My smile wavered as a deep voice jolted me, reaching deep inside me, filling me with an awareness that was both terrifying and exhilarating.
I tried to steady my breathing as he began to speak.
“Hi, I’m Kylan Quinn. I work with a big literary agency in New York, but I’m in Minneapolis on a rather extended visit. ”
“You work with the agency? Aren’t you its head?” said a pretty brunette raising her eyebrows a few seats to his left. “I’ve heard of you. You’re a big name in New York City!”
Kylan ran a hand through his sun-streaked hair and chuckled. “I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I do lead the agency, yes. I wouldn’t call myself a big name though.”
“And he’s modest too,” said a blonde woman next to the brunette, nudging her friend. His gorgeous full lips formed an easy smile that the women lapped up.
I began to seethe inside.
Was he going to steal the whole damn show?
I was about to prompt the next participant to introduce herself when another woman spoke, this time on the other side of the circle. “What do you like to read, Mr. Quinn?”
“Oh, call me Kylan. I read a little bit of everything, really,” he said thoughtfully as he absently stroked his angular jaw, which was stubbly as usual.
“And yes, my career will tell you I’m obviously invested in traditional publishing, but I read indie published books too.
If I had to choose, hmm, let me think on that a moment … ”
I dared myself to glance at him just briefly, just to acknowledge that he was speaking and then I could go on ignoring him. A jolt of shock passed through me as I found his eyes intently focused on me, and I couldn’t move.
He has to stop doing this to me.
He has to stop.
I need to find a way to make him leave.
“I like literary fiction,” Kylan continued, “but lately I’ve been on a fantasy streak. Really, I will read or represent almost any genre. Well, except romance. Can’t stomach it.”
There were audible gasps in the room, and I hoped mine hadn’t been one of them. He was still looking at me, as if daring me to look away. Or maybe to keep looking.
He hates the entire romance genre because of me? Is that what he’s saying?
Or am I making a giant leap? Flattering myself, really. I probably didn’t mean enough to him to have such an effect …
Finally, he broke contact and flashed a casual smile to the others in the circle.
“Don’t get me wrong. Romance is an amazing genre.
I love selling it, I love that people enjoy it, and as a businessman, I obviously love how much money it makes.
” Laughs erupted around the circle. “It’s just not for me. ”
I noted some disappointed looks from some of the younger women but not from the brunette, who looked ... determined? How odd. Well, maybe she was into that sort of difficult man.
She can have him then.
I tried to ignore the lead ball feeling in my abdomen .
When the introductions were finally over, I announced a 10-minute break. “Go get some water, have a cookie, or whatever. I’ll see you back at 8:00, and then we’ll spend the last half hour discussing our future book selections. The cookies are nut-free, by the way.”
Most people rose from their seats and wandered off.
A few people stayed in their seats to chat or look at their phones.
Carlina immediately started chatting up the woman next to her.
Before I had a chance to worry about what Kylan would do and where I would hide, I was surrounded by a group of three mid-30s-ish women who wanted to know where I taught ballet.
Two of them were looking to enroll their children in ballet and looking for recommendations.
Before I knew it, the break was over, and I called for everyone’s attention to sit down again. I had no idea where Kylan had spent the break time, but when I stood up to speak, he was already in his seat, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he chatted with the boy next to him.
Who cares where he was during the break? Why am I even thinking about this? I’m not his keeper.
He’s nothing to me now.
And I’m obviously nothing to him.
After recapturing everyone’s attention, I described the plan to focus on a certain genre or theme each quarter and choose a handful of books per quarter matching that theme.
No one had any objections, so I went on.
“So now we just need to choose a theme. We can go broad, or we can be really specific.” Nods all around, and people looked thoughtful.
“I’ll just throw out an idea first, and you can all feel free to jump on board or disagree and suggest something entirely different.
” Desperation surged in me, and I plunged forward with the only idea I could think of to get rid of him.
I couldn’t suggest the theme of romance tonight, since he’d made such a big deal of hating it; it would only make me look bad.
“So, I was thinking we’d start with something broad, since we’re just getting to know each other and it’s a larger group. How about women’s fiction? ”
All was quiet except for a child’s tantrum nearby near the pregnancy book section. A few people in the group opened their mouths to speak and then apparently thought better of it. All were looking either at me or at Kylan and Zachary.
His deep voice arrested me once again, and I felt shivers through my body.
“I’m in. I love women’s fiction.” As I reluctantly made eye contact, his face broke out into a wide smile, though not at me.
He was grinning as he looked around the room at the women practically ogling him.
“As long as it’s not a romance novel. Romance in a plot I can tolerate, as long as it’s not the main plot. ”
He’d stabbed me once again with his diatribe against romance. I wasn’t the only one who looked stricken; a few women pouted openly at his declaration.
Kylan looked over at Zachary, who was nodding in agreement. “Zachary here is majoring in women’s studies, so it seems like a great fit for us guys.”