CHAPTER 23 #2
“There’s no time for me to explain everything,” I tell her as we walk through the door. I throw open the cupboard. “I need you to help me get back to London. I want to go home.” My words stutter into a pathetic hiccup, and she rushes to stall my hands as I clutch my empty suitcase.
“Go home? You can’t go home? Where’s Nathan? I’m calling him now.”
“No!” I shout at her. “Don’t do that.”
Her mouth drops open, and she puts her phone in her pocket and holds her hands up in surrender. “Let’s just take a breath and talk about what’s happening.”
I shake my head, grabbing a handful of clothes and shoving them into the suitcase. In my frenzied state, I don’t care what I’m packing. I’m only taking one bag home with me. Nathan can have the rest. He bought most of it, anyway.
“I just need to get out of here,” I say as I rush to the bathroom where all my valuable stuff lives. My hair straightener is at the top of the list.
“But why?” she asks, following close behind me.
I stop moving. If I don’t tell her something, she won’t help me. “I saw Nathan.” I pause, my throat too tight to get the rest of the words out.
“You saw Nathan?”
“And Victoria.”
She shakes her head, her blonde hair swinging over her shoulders. “You saw Nathan and Victoria?”
“Together,” I say with a sob. There. Now she knows everything.
“No way.” Rosie frowns as she takes me by the shoulders and stares into my eyes. “That isn’t possible. You got it wrong. Tell me exactly what you saw.”
I draw in a deep breath and give her a summary of the scene in the chapel, my hands busy stuffing my make-up into a bag.
“Well, then. That’s not so bad,” she says when I finish.
I glance at her in the mirror, and my heart sinks. Her face does not match her words. She looks…upset.
“It’s not so good either.” I push my hair out of my face and turn to stare at her. “He had so many opportunities to shut her down. To push her away. Instead, he did nothing.”
Her lips twist into a grimace. “That’s true. It doesn’t look great. But he’s a man, Katie. He must have got confused.”
“Confused?” I scoff. “Let’s say that’s true, that his brain was taking a second to catch up. What does that say about our relationship? About what I mean to him? I wasn’t really anywhere in that discussion.”
She says nothing, and I take her silence for acceptance. If Nathan felt even half as much for me as I feel for him, that conversation would never have happened.
“Even so,” Rosie rallies as I brush past her to put my toiletries into my suitcase. “Shouldn’t you give him a chance to explain?”
I pause. She’s right. I should give him at least that. But then…
“I think he still loves her,” I whisper.
She hurries to put her arms around me while I cry. I sink into her and give in to the sadness seeping into me.
“I don’t believe that’s true,” she says as she rubs my back. “You need to let him explain. And if he’s done what you’ve said he’s done, then we’ll chuck him in the ocean and I’ll get you on the first flight out of here.”
Her softly spoken words sink in, breaking through my panicked-soaked brain. She’s right. I need to wait and speak to Nathan, to listen to what he has to say, even if what he has to say may break my heart. I owe him that much.
Looks like that talk we needed to have is happening sooner than anticipated.
“You’re right.” Rosie sighs with relief. “I’ll stay and talk to him, even though I’m not sure he’ll want me around anymore.”
She shakes her head, her blonde hair flying around her concerned face. “That will not happen.”
I’m not so sure.
“Let’s see, shall we? And in the meantime, can you help me pack? Just in case?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip, deliberating, before nodding. “I can do that, only if you don’t ask me for help to unpack it later.”
“Deal,” I say, loving her optimism while fearing it at the same time. My brain keeps replaying the scene of Nathan and Victoria together on a continuous loop, along with his drunken confession, not letting Rosie’s sunny outlook sway me from what I believe is true.
That, although we’ve tried to ignore it, Nathan is not fully over his ex.
“That should do it,” Rosie declares twenty minutes later after zipping up the last of my three enormous suitcases. “Now what?”
I glance at my watch and blink back tears. It’s been well over an hour since I left Nathan up in the chapel, and with every passing minute, I’m more convinced he’s still with her. That they’re together, planning a way out of the wedding today.
“Where is he?” I say, sinking into a sun lounger, my shaky legs no longer able to hold me up. “Why hasn’t he come back?”
Rosie narrows her eyes at the door like she’s willing it to open, announcing Nathan’s return with a reasonable explanation for his absence and everything else that comes with it. “I’m sure he’s been held up by some other random nonsense my mother has set out for him. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
I refrain from pointing out I’ve well and truly jumped all the way to my conclusions. I live here in my conclusions now. “It’s not like I’ve made this all up out of nothing.”
“I know,” she soothes, sitting next to me and rubbing my back. “It looks bad.”
I stare down at my watch, taunting me with the way time just keeps on moving. “It is bad, Rosie. And with every second I sit here, my heart is breaking.”
She pulls me in for a hug and my head drops to her shoulder, revelling in her warmth and comfort and the list of expletives she’s spitting from her mouth. Nathan is on her shit-list now. Who knows, maybe I’ll get to keep Rosie in this break-up?
Though, can it be classified as a breakup if we weren’t officially together?
“I think I need to be alone,” I say after a long moment, sniffling against her neck before leaning back. “I need to sort my jumbled thoughts.”
She hesitates. “You promise you won’t leave until you speak to Nathan?”
My stomach clenches, and I struggle to draw in a full breath.
“I promise,” I say, even though my body is revolting at the idea of it.
“I’ll hear him out. Though you have to know, Rosie, it will be hard to move past this, no matter what he says.
He’s been gone for hours. He was up there in her arms, and he didn’t push her away. ”
I hiccup this last part, blinking back more tears as Rosie does the same. “I’m so sorry, Katie.”
“Thanks.” A sad smile trembles on my lips. “The sad thing is, I came into this whole thing with Nathan, fearing that I’m not ready. Fearing that I’m not strong enough for this. My heart isn’t healed enough to deal with heartbreak.”
She says nothing after this, only gives me another hug before dragging her feet to the door. “Let me know how it goes,” she says with a small wave.
I nod and turn away before she can see more tears, tears that are flowing freely down my cheeks.
The door closes behind her, and I stare out at the turquoise blue ocean in front of me, waiting for Nathan to return and make this better.
Or break my heart. A heart that wasn’t whole enough to be given to him in the first place.
With a pain-filled sigh, I pull up my Webjet app on my phone and start typing. With a flight home to London available and my credit card at hand, I turn to stare once more at the closed door.
“Nathan. Where are you?”