Chapter 26 #2
I don’t know whether to be terrified or excited. Shocked—I’ll go with shocked.
Alex pours a generous amount of lube into his hand, probably more than necessary, but fuck, his eyes are battling with mine, daring me to fuck with him… and I don’t dare.
I break out in a sweat. I haven’t bottomed in nearly twenty years. Not even with Gabriel. And I was married to the man.
A moan has me backing out of my thoughts. Alex is slicking up his cock with nice long strokes… and fuuuck, I know where this is going. But if this is what he needs, then I’m willing to give it to him. I’ll submit. I’ll give him anything.
For God’s sake… I love him.
Lube trickles down my ass, sending a shiver racing through my body as cool liquid slides over my hole.
I breathe in deeply. “You need to stretch me, baby.”
It’s the first time I’ve ever called him baby. I’m hoping it softens him, slows him down—gives me just a little bit of ground to stand on.
But all I get is silence.
Until slick fingers slide across my skin, over my hole, and onto my balls. He cups them gently in his palm. But I can feel his nervousness in his touch—hesitant, unsure, as if he’s afraid one wrong move might break me. Little does he know, I love having my balls played with.
I let him know this by humming softly as he rolls them around in his palm. It feels fucking fantastic.
He pulls lightly on my sac, then fondles them again before skimming his fingers along my taint and right back over to my hole. I clench when he circles my entrance with a nervous finger.
At this point, I’m not sure who’s more nervous, me or him?
A finger slips in, and I let out a tense moan.
“Alex—”
“Don’t speak, Elijah.”
Oh god.
He pushes a second finger inside, this time with more bravery than the first. I hold my breath as he spreads his fingers, twists his wrist, and explores. Acquainting himself with my most private area.
I focus solely on breathing.
In. Out. In. Out.
It’s the only thing I have control of.
A third finger joins the other two, and holy hell. I exhale loudly, more like a warning than a breath.
It doesn’t stop him.
But it registers.
He slows down. Fingers fucking me with a tenderness I hadn’t expected. Certainly not after our rough beginning.
I close my eyes and lean into the feel of them stretching me, bending and curling, caressing, until…
“Jeeesus. Fuuck.”
…he meets my prostate.
I push back on his fingers, seeking more of that thrill I’ve long since forgotten.
But then…
“I’m going to fuck you,” he sneers, slipping his fingers out from my ass, and in that split second—I’m back to clenching.
Sweat beads across my skin. Panic dives into my chest. I hold my breath when I feel his heavily-lubed dick drag over my tight pucker. His plump crown sits against my rim, slick and warm, and I mentally tell myself to relax. To breathe. To…
Goddamn it.
How did I get here?
My hole quivers when he pushes that full-blooded tip against my skin.
I draw in a breath.
Fist the sheets beneath me.
My knuckles go white.
I already know this is going to hurt. Not a doubt in my fucking mind.
He’s still—waiting, unmoving, too goddamn quiet.
I hate him for that silence.
But then his breath hits my skin. His palm comes to rest gently on my back, warm and steady. He doesn’t push—he guides—sliding up the length of my spine. Lowering me. Anchoring me.
“G-go slow,” I plead, the words catching on my breath. I don’t even try to hide the tremor in my voice.
I feel him freeze—just for a second—like the sound of my fear knocked the wind out of him.
And that’s all I have a chance to say before he enters me.
Slowly.
Almost painfully.
Like he’s afraid I’ll vanish beneath him if he moves too fast.
I help him along, pushing back as my body gives way and finally stretches open. The burn is raw. Unforgiving.
I inhale a shaky breath. Shove my forehead into the pillow and squeeze my eyes shut as his dick slides into my ass.
“Oh. My. God. Elijah.” He exhales slowly.
“Oh my god,” I echo, speaking into the pillow at a rate ten times faster than him.
It’s my first time ever in this position, and I can honestly say—I’m not a fan.
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t even stir.
Just sits against me, hips pressed tight to my ass.
Something warm touches my lower back. Then another. And another.
Tears.
His tears.
Dripping onto my skin. Sliding straight into my soul.
Oh Alex…
“Baby,” I whisper, feeling another drop land softly against me. “I’m okay. It’s alright.”
I turn my face toward him, just enough for him to see my eyes. “I love you.”
He gasps, the sound catching in his throat like he’s been holding it there for years.
“Move with me, baby,” I gently encourage.
His fingers tighten around my waist. He pulls his hips back, slow and unsure, as if expecting this to be different from fucking a woman. I guess in some ways it is. Probably many ways. Who am I to say? I’ve never fucked a woman before.
But he has… so I’m not gonna judge.
He presses forward, slow and deliberate, like he’s memorizing every detail of this new terrain.
Taking his time.
Adjusting—not just physically, but mentally—to the sensation of fucking a man.
Me.
His breath shudders. There’s a tremble in his body, not from hesitation, but from concentration.
The intensity of his focus is so sharp, it feels almost tangible—like I could reach out and touch it.
His dick thickens inside me, and that feels really good.
I turn my head to grab a kiss. The tip of his nose grazes mine as he reaches for my lips.
His moan makes them vibrate. Voice breathy and broken, curses slipping into each breath like he’s falling apart in my mouth.
Those sounds—so vulnerable, so real.
They do something to me. Make me feel wanted, needed… connected.
He rocks his hips back and forth as his confidence builds. His moans take me under, stealing my breath, my thoughts, until all that’s left is the way he makes me feel. Like I’m drowning in waves I don’t want to fight—pulling me deeper into him… into us.
The plump ridge of his head drags across my prostate, and my hips judder in sensory overload.
“Fuck, baby! Fuuuck!” I cry out, gritting my teeth, rocking back on his dick as he pushes in with more force, more passion, more heart.
I’m barely keeping it together. Between the sexy sounds of his moans and his fierce fucking, I’m slipping into a freefall—into him, into now, into soft and shattering that feels a lot like love.
“Elijaaah,” he groans, snapping his hips against my ass.
But then he stops, and the air rushes out of me, quiet and cruel, leaving behind only the ache of sudden stillness.
I part my lips to ask why he stopped, but the moment shifts when he leans into me, his weight pressing over my back, and all that’s left is the quiet thrum of want between us.
His forearm wraps tenderly around my chest, the other around my waist as he guides me upright until our bodies align flush, my back to his chest.
“I love you too,” he whispers against my sweaty skin, tenderly kissing my shoulder, neck, cheek, and finally my lips when I tilt my face to the side. The saltiness from his tears shocks my taste buds, and it breaks my heart that he’s been crying.
With his arms curled tightly around my body, he once again begins fucking me—harder.
Releasing all of his anger and aggression into every brutal punch of his hips.
His rage is raw and sinful, wild and unrestrained.
He comes in a rush, and I yell out his name the instant I feel his hot seed burst inside me.
His dick jerks and twitches. I exhale sounds I’ve never even heard come from me before.
Soft. Loud. Shaky. Half lost between a breath and something like a sob.
“Alex,” I hiss, coming all over myself and the sheets.
I shudder, collapsing in a puddle of cum, his exhausted body following mine down to the mattress as the fight finally depletes him.
I turn and pull him closer, wrapping my arms around his trembling chest. He melts into me without resistance, his body molding perfectly against mine.
When I press soft kisses to his tear-streaked cheek, he sighs—deep and peaceful—like maybe, just maybe, he believes he’s safe here.
And it’s at that moment, with him resting in my arms, that I decide to wait until morning… to tell him what I really came here for.