Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Willa
“ D o you want extra butter or kettle corn?” Magnolia asked, holding up two boxes of microwave popcorn.
Lila raised her wineglass. “Both. And bring the M&M’s too.”
We were camped out in Magnolia’s living room. Scratch that. Living room was too pedestrian a term for this space. A great room would be more fitting. It was a massive cathedral that opened up to the lakefront, with several seating areas, a wet bar, and a projection screen that descended from the ceiling with the push of a remote.
We’d pushed the couches together and created a fort with her Hermès cashmere blankets and pillows for girls’ night. We’d been doing this since middle school, camping out here and watching movies while eating snacks and talking all night.
It had been ages since we’d done it, but Lila was on winter break, so Magnolia declared it girl time.
I was reclined, wearing monogrammed silk pajamas—Magnolia had brought each of us a matching set—with a facemask on while the girls busied themselves in the kitchen.
I’d missed this. The carefree fun of being with my friends. It transported me to a simpler time. Back before adult responsibilities had taken over.
Magnolia had inherited the house from her mother, a disgraced New York society heiress who’d had a torrid affair with Magnolia’s father, a starving artist, and had caused her prim and proper family great shame. She was barred from the family compound in Kennebunkport and was instead given this home in the “stick,” as Magnolia’s mother called it. She hated it here, so she stayed away. But when school was out each summer, she would send Magnolia up with her nanny. Eventually, her mother gave it to her as a twenty-first birthday gift.
It was way more house than any one person needed. A massive clapboard colonial on twelve acres, with several outbuildings, one of which I lived in. There were at least seven bedrooms in this house, and the dining room sat twenty. It was just down the road from my quaint little cottage, but when I stepped inside, I instantly felt as if I were a world away.
But Magnolia loved it. She’d furnished it with pieces that fit her eclectic style, and she continued to support the caretakers, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis, who’d become like grandparents to her. This place was part of her, and despite her New York career and roots, I knew in my bones she’d come back here for good someday.
Tonight Magnolia had cooked for us, and after we’d eaten, we’d played several hyper-competitive rounds of Uno and then changed into our pj’s and settled in to marathon the Hunger Games movies. We’d all been obsessed with the books in high school—another thing we’d bonded over.
“Liam really is the hottest Hemsworth brother,” Lila mused.
I rolled my eyes at her. “He’s no Thor.”
“I mean it.” She slapped the cushion beside her leg. “He’s underrated.”
Magnolia plopped down next to me with a fresh bottle of wine. “Look at the Doc over here.” She nudged me. “She couldn’t appreciate Liam’s hotness if she tried. She has eyes only for her husband.”
My face heated as I darted a glance at Lila.
“She’s in deep,” Lila mused, one side of her lips tipping up. “I’ve never seen her clam up about a guy. Usually she tells us all about her hookups.”
“I’d say she’s dickmatized.” Magnolia raised her pierced brow, the expression full of subtle judgment. I’d sworn to her I wouldn’t let things get physical, and although I hadn’t told her anything, she knew. It was her superpower.
They didn’t even know the half of it. I was completely infatuated with Cole. And while I’d never held back with details about the few guys I’d dated, this was different.
What had happened between us was precious, special, and I wasn’t about to spill all the gory details. He was my husband, after all.
Huh. It felt weird to think of him in that way. We’d been married for over two months, but typically, I thought of him as my friend, my roommate, Cole.
Legally, though, he was my husband. And I was his wife.
I stared down at the ring on my finger, the one we did eventually purchase, and tried to piece together how my feelings had changed in such a short time. The last guy I ever thought I’d trust had turned into the one person I’d opened myself up to entirely.
“She’s got that dreamy look in her eyes,” Lila said, wrapping a blanket around herself. “She’s in love.”
God, I felt terrible lying to her while Mags glared at me. Lila was a far better friend than I could ever deserve. Cole was her ex, after all, and despite the shock and tension in Vegas, she’d been supportive, never saying a single bad word about him. My stomach clenched at the thought of her discovering the truth. But now, the lines had become so blurry I wasn’t even sure what the truth was anymore.
So I did what any person who didn’t want to face the consequences of their actions did. I redirected.
“What’s going on with the inn?” I asked Magnolia as I grabbed a handful of popcorn.
She had made some noise about buying it and renovating it, and she certainly had the money to do so, but there was a good chance she’d changed her mind. The woman didn’t keep the same hair color for more than a month.
She steepled her fingers like a Bond villain. “Things are moving along.”
“Way to be vague,” Lila complained. “Come on.”
“It’s a massive project. The place has been closed for almost a decade, and it’s probably a terrible investment.”
Lila dipped her head. “But?”
“But I love it.” Magnolia sighed. “It’s old and romantic, and now that this town is slowly growing and evolving, I think it would be a good time to reopen the inn.”
“And so you’re gonna buy it?”
She shrugged. “My lawyers are doing their thing. If I get the price I want, then yes.”
This was so her. Pivot on a whim, throw money around, and push herself into new challenges when she felt like it. I admired the hell out of her bravery, though I couldn’t help the flicker of jealousy that flared once in a while. My future had been so set, so certain. I didn’t have the luxury of trying something new because I felt like it.
My mind spiraled back to work and the need for help. Could I sustain my current pace for the next few decades? Probably not. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, anyway.
“Everything okay at work?” Lila asked gently, pausing the TV. It was the reaping, and we always shouted “I volunteer as tribute” together. It was tradition.
“Yes and no. I’m doing okay, but I know there’s a better way. In Baltimore, community health clinics were open seven days a week, had all kinds of services, and employed different types of providers. I look at my dad and what happened to him, and I can’t help but wish for that type of practice. Where I had support and my patients had a broader spectrum of care.”
“How can we help?” Magnolia asked.
I shrugged. “Know any nurse practitioners who want to move to rural Maine? What about clinical social workers? Ultrasound techs? Phlebotomists? This area is ridiculously short on medical personnel, and rural hospitals and clinics keep shutting down.”
I pulled my hair back and sighed. “It’s a struggle to fit in exercise, six hours of sleep, and moderately healthy eating most days, and I’m only doing all of that because of Cole.”
It hit me hard then that I’d be a mess without him. He’d gently helped me get healthier and make more time for rest and fun, and he’d inspired me to come home earlier instead of spending all night in the office, catching up on paperwork.
I was stronger, fitter, and laughed more than I had in years.
“You want more,” Lila said softly.
“What do you mean?”
She scooted over and put her arm around me. “We’ve watched you push yourself with single-minded determination since we were kids. Being a doctor has always been your calling. Maybe even an obsession. I envied you so much for a long time. You knew who you were and what you were going to do with your life.”
“I was so jealous of you,” Magnolia admitted, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “You are the most driven person I know.”
Tears stung my eyes as I looked from one friend to the other. God, they were the best.
“But you’re in love,” Lila said, giving me a squeeze. “It’s okay to want more—more time, more experiences, more people to love. I felt the same thing. That’s how I knew I was in love with Owen. I wanted my life to expand. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be single-minded anymore. I was ready to make room for more people, experiences, and love.”
Now I was fully crying.
And I wasn’t the only one.
Magnolia sat on the other side of me and wrapped her long arms around both of us.
“Guys, we’re growing,” she said with a sniffle. “And there is no reason we can’t all achieve our dreams.”
We sat on the couch huddled together for a while before turning off the movie. Magnolia made tea, and we talked through our various challenges. Lila shared her struggles with balancing her course load with her growing responsibilities at the foundation where she worked. Magnolia worried about her event planning business and how the hell she’d figure out how to be a rural innkeeper.
The three of us did what we’d been doing since we were kids. We worked it out together. We brainstormed, made suggestions, conducted random Google searches, and laughed as we dug deep.
My heart ached the whole time. I’d missed this so much. This was what I’d looked forward to during those long hours in residency. This was why I’d wanted to move to New York so badly, to experience life with these two extraordinary women by my side.
But these women were no longer all I needed. Now, I craved the comfort and presence of someone else.
Around two, we crashed, sprawled across the couches under mountains of blankets and sleeping bags.
But I couldn’t sleep. I missed Cole. I’d become so accustomed to snuggling with him that sleeping alone felt wrong. It was late, and I should be exhausted, but my brain would not stop spinning.
So I dug out my phone and shot off a text.
Willa
I can’t sleep without you.
Cole
neither can I. I’m just staring at the ceiling and sniffing your pillow because it smells like you.
I swooned a little. The girls were right. I was in deep. And while I knew I should think all this through and prepare myself for the possibility that this wasn’t sustainable, my heart didn’t care in the least.
There was no way I’d sleep a wink without him, and after the intensity of the night, all the tears and laughter I’d shared with my friends, I needed him to ground me. That’s what he did. He helped me make sense of my life and brought me back to myself every time.
Willa
I’m gonna sneak out and come home
Cole
Miss me that much?
Willa
Yes
Cole
I don’t want you walking over here alone. Give me ten min. I’ll come get you.
My heart expanded. The thought of sneaking out to see him filled me with a wild thrill. Like I was back in high school. Except I’d never snuck out with cute boys back then.
I got off the couch, folded the blankets, and tiptoed toward the kitchen where I’d left my bag, wide awake and buzzing with excitement. I’d seen Cole this morning—he’d done pushups while I rode my stationary bike, and then he’d given me an X-rated kiss goodbye—but it still felt like too long.
I was putting my coat on in the mudroom area when Magnolia appeared, hair mussed and arms crossed. “Are you seriously sneaking out right now?”
I nodded sheepishly.
“Willa.” She let out a resigned sigh. “I’m worried about you.”
I looked at her. “I’m sorry. I owe you a full explanation, and I promise you’ll get it. I just need him right now.”
Her shoulders dropped. “Fine. Do you want a ride?”
“He’s walking over now,” I said.
I swore her lips quirked just a little. “Good man. You’re totally in love with him, aren’t you?”
There was no way I could answer that question. I’d never been in love and never thought I would be. My life had changed so dramatically in such a short time. It was impossible to verbalize any of this, especially in the middle of the night.
Lips pressed together, I shrugged.
“I’m bummed you’re leaving. You’re gonna miss the mimosa bar tomorrow morning. But I guess you can go home with your man.”
I rushed forward and pulled her into a hug.
“Thank you for protecting me,” I said as she squeezed me hard. “But I need to take a risk right now.”
With a pat to my cheek, she walked me to the front door, where Cole was waiting, wearing pajama pants, winter boots, and one of his knitted hats.
“Watch yourself, lover boy. If you hurt my girl, there will be consequences.” Magnolia had no coat or shoes on, but she stood in the snow and stared Cole down.
With his focus fixed on her, he swallowed audibly. “Of course.”
“I mean it. I know people. No body, no crime. You get me?”
He nodded, his brow furrowed in confusion and maybe terror.
“She’s all yours,” Magnolia said. Between one blink and another, her expression turned sweet, and she waved as she shut the door behind her.
“Hi,” he said. He had clearly been rushing when he shoved his hat on his head. It was lopsided, and his hair was sticking out adorably. “That was… something.”
I shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. I had no doubt Magnolia could dispose of a body efficiently.
He pressed me up against the side of the house and kissed me deeply. His mouth was warm and tasted like peppermint.
Instantly, my core heated and my breath quickened. “Take me home,” I said.
“My pleasure, wifey.” He turned around and motioned for me to jump on his back.
“You can’t give me a piggyback,” I protested.
“It’s the middle of the damn night, and we’re both in pj’s. Just climb on.”
Huffing, I jumped up. Once I’d gotten my arms securely wrapped around his neck and he had a good hold of my legs, he took off down the road toward the cottage. It was frigid, but the sky was clear and the stars glowed above the lake.
“Are you sure I’m not hurting you?” I asked, resting my chin on his shoulder.
“Pretty sure I can carry my wife home,” he said. “I was a pro athlete.”
“But I’m heavy,” I pleaded. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.
He stuttered to a stop and put me down. When I’d found my balance, he turned and grasped me by the shoulders. “When will you get it, woman? This is not a hardship. I love it.”
“It’s just—”
“Stop right there.” He squeezed my arms. “I’m a big guy. God made me six-seven for a reason. For a while I thought it was to play hockey, but now I know better. It’s so I can carry my wife home and then ravage her.”
Before I could respond, he scooped me over his shoulder, slapped my ass hard, and took off jogging toward the cottage.