Chapter Twelve #3
“Jaysus, Tess. Y’need t’ get back here. Tell me, d’ya still love Declan? If ya don’t, then by all means carry on with ya life an’ never give him another thought, like… but if you do love him, f’feck’s sake take him back ‘fore he gets himself killed.”
“Yes,” she gasped. “Yes, I still love him. More than anything. My leaving never had anything to do with how strongly I felt about him.”
If it hadn’t been for the sharp rocks beneath my feet, I would have dropped to my knees.
Thank fuck for that. I’d never been so glad to hear a girl tell me she was in love with Declan Furey – and I’d heard those sentiments more than once.
This time was different. This time Declan Furey was desperately in love with her, too.
“Then feckin’ get y’hole back here,” I snapped. “He’s… he’s not doin’ well without ya. I’ve never seen him in such a mess, like.”
“Does… does he want me to come back?”
“Doesn’t matter if he wants ya, he needs ya t’ come back. He’s a feckin’ mess without ya – out all night, tryin’ ta drinkin’ himself t’ death. He won’t listen ta me. He won’t listen to anyone.”
“Is Declan…” Tess paused. “Is he angry with me?”
I couldn’t lie and tell her everything was dandy. Declan was going to rip her to pieces once he got a hold of her, but he needed her all the same.
“Fumin’,” I replied matter-of-factly. “But I know him. Once he gets his head out his hole, he’ll come right. He’s mad about ya, anyone with eyes can see that, like.”
“He was the one who burnt my house down, wasn’t he?” she asked quietly, and this time I faltered, unsure what to say.
“I wasn’t with him, so I can’t say f’sure, now…” I hedged with a sigh. “But I believe he did, aye. He wouldn’t speak with me about it.”
“I’m scared, John-Francis. If he’s angry enough to fucking set fire to my house, what if he hurts me?” Tess whimpered.
She needed a hard dose of reality. Tess needed to know what was going to happen if she didn’t return to Declan. For the first time since she’d left, I gave words to the fear I’d held down inside.
“I can’t speak o’ that. He’s not in a good place, like. His head ain’t on right… but what I can promise ya, is if y’don’t come back ta him, Declan will end up doin’ himself in. He’s on a slippery slope t’ a dark place, Tess.”
I held my breath, waiting for her response.
C’mon, Tess. Don’t let us down, now. Declan needs ya. I need ya…
“I’ll head home. As soon as I can. I promise.”
I sighed heavily, relieved. “A’right, grand. Get back here as soon as y’can, now.”
“I will. Thank you, John-Francis.”
“Don’t thank me just yet. I’d be seein’ ya soon.”
We hung up and I punched the air before pushing my hair out of my face.
I prayed with everything that was in me that Tess made it back in time before Declan did something stupid.
I shoved the phone back in my jeans and strode from the riverbed.
I needed to get back to the camp as soon as possible.
Perhaps if I told Declan the good news, I could shake him from the nightmare he’d been steadily drowning himself in.
I was halfway back to camp when my phone – definitely mine this time – began to ring. It was Seamus.
“Howsagoin’?” I said, breathless from my brisk pace. “I’ve got some feckin’ grand news—”
“Aye, well it’d have t’ wait, like. Declan’s just been ‘round t’ me place, lookin’ t’ score some gear.”
Heroin. My heart began to pound, sweat beading on my brow. Declan and I were no strangers to recreational drugs, but even we never touched that shite. It wasn’t just a bit o’ fun, that was life-ruining levels of fucked up.
“Y’didn’t–?”
“‘Course I feckin’ didn’t!” Seamus snapped. “But y’think that feckin’ prick would take no f’an answer? He feckin’ pushed his way in ‘ere, bust up me feckin’ nose and raided me.”
My blood ran cold. “How much were y’holdin’?”
“Too much f’one person, that’s f’sure. He took it all, fella. If he uses it, it’ll kill him. No doubts ‘bout that.”
I broke into a jog. “Where is he now?”
“Back at his place, I think. I can’t go ‘round there alone. He’s feckin’ crazy. I’d be worried he’d kill me too, like.”
I knew what Seamus meant. I’d seen Declan off the deep end only once or twice before, but when he was this far gone… I knew he had it in him to kill a man if he got in his way.
“I’m on me way!” I gasped. “Stay put, we’ll go together, like.”
“Aye, grand. Oh, an’ what was y’good news?” Seamus snorted.
“Tess is on her way back ‘ere.”
“Feckin’ hell.”
By the time I arrived back at the camp, Declan was nowhere to be seen.
There was no answer at his place, even when I shouted through the door that Tess was on her way back to Appleby.
Seamus was sure he was still inside, having seen him bolt back in there like a rat out of a trap after knocking him about and stealing the drugs, but he was holed up tight and refusing to answer us.
When I failed to put my boot through the door, we were left with no other choice but to wait him out.
I supposed it was possible that he was already off his wee face on gear, passed out inside, but I had to cling to the hope that suicide would give even Declan Furey cause to stop and think about what he was about to do.
Hours drifted by and when the sun set, cloaking us in dusky light, doubts crept in.
How much longer were we to wait here? What if Declan wasn’t even here and Seamus had missed him slipping out?
When there were still no signs of life from inside, I suggested Seamus go around camp, asking folks if they’d seen Declan and to keep an eye out if they did.
I’d remain here just in case he decided to show his face.
And so I continued to wait, but just as I was beginning to lose hope, an idea came to me. I copied the unknown number from Tess’s old phone into my own and sent a text.
JOHN-FRANCIS: What train are ya on?
TESS: London Euston, with a change in Carlisle. I’m due into Appleby at ten-to-nine tonight.
I glanced at the digital display – that gave me an hour. I’d make that work.
JOHN-FRANCIS: Keep an eye out for me. I’d be swinging by to pick you up.
I eased myself up off the floor, stiff and cold.
Perhaps hearing from Tess herself would be the key to getting a rise out of Declan.
It was the only plan I had left and though it didn’t sit well with me to be abandoning my watch post, bringing Tess back to Declan was of far greater importance.
I dived into my van and headed off to the local train station to collect the wee buffer that had caused this mess in the first place.
Tess’s train had rolled in, and I spotted her before she caught sight of me.
She looked different – pale and somehow withdrawn, her shoulders rolled inwards self-consciously.
She was nervous returning here and I couldn’t rightly blame her, but I made sure to force a wide, bright smile onto my face as we locked eyes.
To my surprise she ran to me, and I wrapped my arms around her.
We embraced one another for a long moment before I eased her away from me.
“Jaysus, it’s good t’ see ya. I don’t mean t’ worry ya, but I need y’help, now,” I said, opening the passenger side door of the van for her. “I’ll explain on the way.”
“Declan?” she asked, eyes wide with fear. I simply nodded and once she had climbed inside, I slammed the door behind her and jogged around to the opposite side.
Once we were both belted in, I took off, the van’s engine roaring through the night as I made my way back to the camp.
“What’s going on, John-Francis?” Tess asked, her voice quiet. “You’re frightening me.”
I pressed my lips together, wondering where to even start. “Declan has been a mess since y’left, Tess.” When she opened her mouth to respond, I interrupted her. “No, really, now. Today… Today has not been a good day, like. He’s gotten hold o’ some gear—”
“As in Heroin?” Tess spluttered.
“Aye, enough t’ take down a wee elephant by the sounds o’ things, now.”
“Do you… Do you think he plans to use it? All in one go?”
Both of us knew what she was getting at, neither of us wanting to say the word out loud.
“Aye, I do.”
Tess’s lower lip began to tremble, her eyes filling with tears. “Fuck, what have I done?”
“Ah, y’weren’t t’ know, now,” I replied gently. “No one expected him t’ take it this hard. I thought a week or two o’ wallowin’ in self-pity an’ he’d be back on his feet, bu’… We’ve joked ‘bout it before, like, but I dunno what ya’ve done t’ him. It’s destroyed him bein’ without ya.”
“I just– I didn’t know what to do!” she spluttered. “I thought I’d killed someone!”
I didn’t quite know how to break it to her that she may well have done after all if we didn’t get back to Declan in time. I kept that dark thought to myself, pressing down a little harder on the accelerator.
“We can worry ‘bout the mess wi’ Pearl another time. What’s important now is—”
My phone burst to life, rumbling against the dashboard where I’d slung it in my haste to get into the van. I snatched it up, answering it despite still driving.
“What’s up, fella?” I asked Seamus.
“Declan’s not here. Wee sneaky bastard has given us the slip.”
“Feck!” I growled, slamming the heel of my hand against the steering wheel. “Y’sure, now?”
“Aye. I came back t’ check on the place an’ the door was wide open. No Declan. I’ve looked everywhere ‘bout the camp. He’s gone, lad. I’m sorry. He could be anywhere by now, like.”
I ground my teeth together, wracking my brains.
Where would Declan be headed? My gaze jumped to Tess in the passenger seat.
Fuck, it was so obvious. I slammed the brakes on, making the wee buffer squeal with surprise.
Ignoring the car behind us blasting their horn, I swung the van around, heading in the opposite direction.
“I know where he is, now,” I said to Seamus. “Let’s just be hopin’ I’m not too late, aye?”
“Good luck, fella. Gimme a bell if y’need me.”
When Seamus hung up, I lobbed the phone back onto the dashboard. Tess was staring at me.
“Where are we going?” she gasped.
I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. “I’d be takin’ ya back home… t’ what’s left o’ it at least.”