Chapter Thirty
CARTER
“Carter, sweetie, I missed you!” Mom wraps her arms around me before I can take her luggage and put it in the trunk. My car is parked along the curb at the airport, the area filled with the sounds of people reuniting with their loved ones after being away.
“I missed you too, Mom.” I press a kiss to her hair before lobbing her bags into the car and shutting the door.
After leaving Dad, I drove around aimlessly, my mind running in circles. What if he doesn’t actually leave? I have nothing to force him to hold on to his end of the bargain.
My only consolation is that he doesn’t seem to know about Sophie and me yet. If he did, he would have threatened her as well. He probably only arrived in the last couple of days, and if I get him the money, he’ll be able to take off like he was never here.
What then, though? Do I tell Mom he came back so she can constantly live in fear again? What about Sophie and the baby? A part of me hoped that if I figured out how to get rid of him, I could stay. But, he won’t be gone forever and will continue using any leverage he can against me. Maybe I should still leave. If he never finds out Sophie’s child is mine, I’ll be able to keep both of them out of this. Keep them safe. Yet the idea of leaving them behind, never being in my child’s life, is gut wrenching.
She rambles excitedly as I pull onto the highway to get back to Ivy Glen, filling me in on all the details of her stay. My shoulders relax when she doesn’t sense anything is wrong. “I got all my girls’ phone numbers so we can keep in touch.” She smiles proudly. “Evelyn, the one who was in the room next to mine, she works as a librarian in Willow Creek! We can get together all the time.”
“That’s great, Mom.” My grin is genuine. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her so happy.
“It was everything I didn’t know I needed, Carter. We went on hikes nearly every day and—oh my, the spa! So incredibly relaxing. You can gift me a spa visit for Mother’s Day next year.” She winks. “And every year after that.”
She tells me about the small group sessions and workshops, as well as the one-on-one therapy every attendee received twice a week.
She seems so happy and full of life, I see no reason to bring up Dad. As long as I get him the money, she doesn’t need to know... I don’t want to bring her back down to where she was before she left.
We pull up to the house and I shudder at the memory of Dad trying to get in. It’s fine. He’ll be gone by the end of the week.
“I got it, Mom.” I pull her bags out of the trunk and take them to the front door as she unlocks it. Fuck, I am exhausted. The thought of going back to my hotel and crashing the rest of the day sounds like heaven at this point. Guilt churns in my gut. I should really go see Sophie, but what if I end up leaving? What will I say to her?
Once she gets the door open and takes one of her bags inside, I follow, lugging the rest behind me. “Do you need me to take them upstairs?”
“Oh, no I can do that.” She waves me off. “It’s good to be home, isn’t it?”
Home. Sophie’s face flashes in my mind at the word, and I do my best not to buckle under the grief leaving them will cause me.
“If you don’t need any help, I think I’m going to take off. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, and I could use some sleep.” My tone is apologetic, but before I can move back out the door, Mom grabs my arm.
“Wait,” she says, her eyes shining with… excitement? “Can I show you something first?” She starts going through her luggage in search of something. Whatever this is, it must be important, so I walk the few steps into the living room and make myself comfortable on the couch.
“Here.” She comes over, placing a tablet in my hand. On it is what looks like the cover of a children's book, an illustration of a child laughing while riding a bike. The words on the image read, “Little Carter Joins the Race”.
…What?
I scroll to the next image, this time the illustration is of a little girl tying ice skates. “Little Sophie Takes the Ice”.
“Mom… what is this?” I ask as I continue scrolling, each title with the name of someone I know, Jordan, Tom, Jake…
She shrugs, looking at me with determination in her eyes. “Since you left for college, I know I’ve been too scared to even leave the house, but I’m tired of hiding, Carter. Of being afraid of what anyone thinks of me. This is what I’ve been doing in my spare time. For years, actually.” I stare at the image currently on the tablet. It’s an illustration of a little girl peeking out of the front door of her house with the title “Little Vivianne Faces the World”.
Mom moves closer to me, before reaching over and scrolling down on the tablet in my hands, instead swiping across like I was doing. That’s when realization dawns on me. These are stories. And this one, the one I’m looking at now, is about my mom. About Vivianne.
My eyes graze the first few paragraphs, and I can hear Mom’s voice in the words.
“I’ve been illustrating and writing children’s books for a while now, but I never had the courage to tell anyone about it, let alone publish them.” She gives me a soft smile. “This retreat that you sent me on… the people I met… I know now that the strength I need has always been there. Your dad did his best to squash it, and strip it from me entirely.” She gets up and starts pacing, like she can’t get the words out if she’s sitting still. “No more, Carter. Nothing and no one is going to do that to me again. I’m going to start living my life the way I want. The first step is publishing these books. And every single one will be dedicated to you. ”
My heart stutters in my chest. Me? But I failed her so many times. I couldn’t keep her safe. My head shakes, “No, Mom, I?—”
“Don’t you dare tell me you don’t deserve it, Carter Williams.” She interrupts me with conviction in her voice. “It was you who saved me . You’ve helped me realize that I don’t need to be afraid anymore. You pushed me to get the help I need to live my life freely for the first time in almost thirty years.” She stops pacing, takes a deep breath, and faces me. “I will not be a doormat anymore. This is me finding my strength again.”
Swallowing, I nod, tears welling in my eyes.
She looks at me softly, coming over and sitting next to me again. “Do you want to read them?”
When I nod again, she takes the tablet from me, scrolling back to the first book, “Little Carter Joins the Race”.
And so I read them. I go through every single one, sometimes laughing out loud at the antics these kids get up to, and always feeling pride for Mom when the story reaches its conclusion, a life lesson learned. Smiling faces, eyes full of joy are illustrated beautifully on the screen.
“How…” I trail off after I read the last one, the one with Mom’s own name that she said she wrote while at the retreat. “How can you see so much good in childhood when our story is anything but?”
At that, she grasps my hand, and looks me in the eyes. “I know that your childhood was not as happy as it could have been. I should have left your father a long time ago. I am so sorry, Carter. I was the adult and you were the child; I should have protected you. Instead, it was you who protected me. The guilt from my lack of action used to feel worse than any pain he inflicted. But now I’ve had the chance to heal. To be inspired. To learn. I realize that it was never my fault, just like it was never yours. It was only your father’s. He was the only one at fault for his actions. He’s had both of us in his trap for too long, and I refuse to give that man anymore power over our lives. So, despite our history, and the way our lives have played out… I choose to hope. And just because mistakes were made in the past, that doesn’t mean that the future can’t be bright.”
The future. Sophie. Our baby .
“Mom…” I choke out, my chest tightening. Will she be disappointed with how I reacted? Will she think that I’ll be just like Dad and fuck it all up? I have to tell her everything. She’s stronger now, she can handle it. And she needs to know about Sophie, about Dad… all of it.
She senses my shift in demeanor and looks at me with concern in her eyes. “What is it, sweetie?”
“Sophie… she’s pregnant,” Mom lets out a little sound that is a mix between shock and excitement, but doesn’t say anything, letting me continue, “and I’m scared. When she told me… I freaked out. What if I’m just like Dad? I don’t want the baby to have the same childhood that I had.” Then I swallow, trying to get the next words out with a strong, steady voice. “And… he’s back. He wants more money, and if I know Dad… it won’t stop at this. If we let this continue, one way or another, he may end up with every penny. Right now, he wants five hundred thousand and half my salary for the next year. I have no idea how to keep you and Sophie safe, and handle dad at the same time?”
Mom is silent, looking down at the floor. I expect tears or panic, Hell, I half worry that all the work she’s accomplished over the last three months will be undone.
“You can’t.” She finally looks at me.
“I… what?” I let out a shocked laugh. It’s not funny, but… what the hell?
“You can’t do it all, Carter. Because your father will never stop. Not unless he’s taken down once and for all. And I’m going to help you.” She nods with finality and stands. “Come with me.”
Dumbstruck, I follow her up the stairs as she moves with purpose, pausing when we get to the door to the attic. She pulls it down and heads up the ladder, me trailing behind her.
“What are we doing up here?” I ask, coughing at the dust swirling around as Mom starts moving boxes.
“Back when you were in high school,” Mom calls out from between a stack of them, “your father had me managing some paperwork for the car dealership and sometimes he would bring paperwork home from the council. If I would come across anything that seemed suspicious—numbers or transactions that didn’t quite add up, or vehicle loan interest rates that didn’t match the paperwork from the lender—I would make a copy and store it up here. Aha!” She cries in victory, pulling out a gray, unassuming box from the bottom of a stack of old belongings. “Here,” she says, pushing the box towards me and motioning for me to open it.
In it are stacks and stacks of invoices, audits, and ledgers.
“What exactly am I looking at here??” I ask, thumbing through a chunk of the documents I had picked up.
“Embezzlement, false financial reporting, and predatory lending at the dealership,” she says proudly. “Finally my business administration degree is paying off.
“I had been too afraid to say anything,” she continues, “I thought he might hurt me, or worse, you, and so I kept quiet. But I’m not scared anymore.” She pushes the box towards me. “Take it to the police station, and see if they can do anything with it.”
“I’ll take it tomorrow morning.” I nod at the box. “We’ll make sure he pays for everything he’s done.”
“Good.” She smiles, and it’s a smile I don’t think I’ve ever seen on her. Not a hint of hesitancy or fear. “And Carter?”
“Yeah, Mom?” I put the lid back on the box and tuck it under my arm.
“You can’t let him take anything else from you. Don’t worry about me, I’m not afraid of him anymore.” She gives me a rueful smile. “Let him come, I’ll call the cops. I’m finally ready to do what I should have done when you were younger, and stand up to that bastard. And in the meantime…” she levels me with an understanding but firm look, “Sophie knows what kind of man you are. You just need to explain why you reacted how you did. We both know that she’s the only one who’s ever held your heart.”
She places a hand on my cheek. “No one will be a better father than you. You are nothing like him . Just look at the compassion you’ve shown over the years. For Tom, how you’ve sent him money around the holidays because you wanted to help him even when you couldn’t be there. For Sophie, making the ultimate sacrifice in pushing her away to keep her safe from your dad. Hell, even for the Twin Rinks, which wouldn’t have gotten the full makeover it needs if it weren’t for you. Carter Theodore Williams, you are everything that is good and strong in this world, and this child will be lucky to have a father like you.”
Her words hit me hard. If Mom, who’s seen every ugly and fucked up part of Dad, can look at me and tell me I’m nothing like him? I’m having a little bit of an easier time believing it.
I can’t leave them. I won’t . And more importantly, I can protect them.
With the information Mom has on him… this gift that she’s given us, we have a chance to live a life without ever having to live in fear of Dad again.
Now, I just need to get my head out of my ass and fight for my family.