Chapter Thirty One
CARTER
This is my second morning in a row standing in front of a door I’m too nervous to knock on. Thankfully, it’s Tom’s house this time, not that shitty motel Dad is at.
Briefly, I’m brought back to the couple of months ago when I stared at this same door, nervous about my date with Sophie.
How different things are now. What if she hates me? What if she thinks I can’t be a good dad because of how I reacted, or thinks I don’t want her anymore?
If the roles were reversed, and she just walked out after revealing some life-changing news, I know I’d be questioning everything I know about her, considering I don’t think she’d be capable of doing something like that.
A heavy sigh leaves me. The only thing I can do is knock. My knuckles rap the door, and my heart pounds as I wait. I just need to see her face. Hear her voice. Drop to my knees and apologize.
The sound of the door unlocking has my heart pounding harder, and when it cracks open, I’m ready to see Sophie’s beautiful face, only to be met with Tom.
“Hey, Carter, I’m assuming you’re looking for Sophie?” He rubs his eyes like I woke him up.
“Um… yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck. “Is she here?”
“No, she’s not.” He levels me with a look. “Listen, I don’t know any details. But Sophie was really upset the other night and has been at Abbie’s since.” Shit.
“Fuck, okay. I’ll head that way.” I run a hand over my face.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Tom asks, leaning against the doorframe. His expression is curious, and a little guarded, like he’s not sure if he should be pissed at me or not.
He should be.
“Not yet, but after I talk to Sophie, you’ll get all the details. Promise.” That’s not really a conversation I’m looking forward to. He may be my best friend, but he’s also Sophie’s brother. He tries to toe the line between being there for me and taking care of his sister, but if a choice was necessary, he would choose her. Fuck, if I was him, I’d punch me in the face.
With that, I hop in my car and ten minutes later, I’m ringing Abbie’s doorbell. It’s too early for her to be at the flower shop, so she has to be here. When nothing happens for a few minutes, I double check the car in the driveway, thinking I might have the wrong house. But nope, that’s her car in the driveway.
This time I knock, my knuckles pounding on the door as I pray Sophie will talk to me. “Sophie! Tom told me you’re here!” I don’t even care how desperate my voice sounds. “Please talk to me!”
Finally, the door cracks open, and I’m met with a very pissed off Abbie. She’s dressed in scrubs and has a bag over her shoulder, like she’s about to leave for the day.
Sighing, she looks me up and down. I’m sure I look like a fucking a mess. My hair is tousled, my shirt is wrinkled, and in the last 48 hours, I’ve barely slept, so I won’t be surprised if I have bags under my eyes.
“I’m going to work,” she tells me before I can say a word. “You need to get your shit together and fix this.”
Swallowing roughly, I nod. “I will.”
“Good. She’s on the couch.” With that, she glides past me, getting into her car and driving off. Entering and shutting the door behind me, I peer around the corner and see Sophie sitting curled up in a pile of blankets, eyes red and puffy, and nose chapped with a pile of tissues around her. Auburn hair is piled high on her head in a messy bun, but even in her haphazard state, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
The urge to take her into my lap and comfort her is overwhelming, but I haven’t earned that back yet. For now, I’ll keep contact minimal until she decides she’s ready to forgive me.
“What are you doing here?” she chokes out, wiping her eyes furiously.
My mouth opens and closes, all the fear and panic rushing back into me. What if I fucked everything up so astronomically she never forgives me?
“Get out, Carter.” Her words are quiet as she looks down at her hands.
“I can’t,” I choke out, “I—” My words cut off as my feet move toward her on their own, and before I know it, I’m on my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “Sophie.” Her name leaves my lips in a plea.
Her honey-brown eyes are glassy and red rimmed as they take me in, appraising me, but she says nothing. She doesn’t pull her hands away from me, though.
I deserve the silence. I also deserve for her to scream at me. But I just need her to listen to what I have to say, so maybe it’s a good thing she’s not speaking, considering our history of how me trying to explain myself has gone.
“I shouldn’t have left. It was so, so wrong of me. You have every right to be furious. I was a complete and total asshole. I don’t deserve your forgiveness for my reaction, but I’m going to beg for it anyway. You need to know what happened that day.” I swallow roughly, attempting to get the next words out.
She doesn’t move. She doesn’t acknowledge me in any way, her face practically void of any emotion. But I know that look. That’s her trying-not-to-cry look. Hopefully, I won’t be the cause of any more tears.
“Last night, before I came to see you, I drove past Mom’s house and I saw…Dad.” She stiffens as her eyes widen, but I keep going. “He was trying to break into Mom’s house and thank fuck she was still away at her retreat, otherwise I don’t know what could have happened. I was terrified, Soph. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he could do to you if he found out about us or questioning why the hell he was even in the area. No matter what, I knew it couldn’t be good. I was going to take Mom and run. Get her out before he could make our lives hell again. I wanted to ask you to come, but I couldn’t expect you to uproot your life with no guarantee of safety. When I came to you, I was going to say goodbye.”
A little sound of protest escapes her, and I don’t miss the new tears in her eyes as she studies me, listening to my every word. So I continue, “But then you told me about… about this little life growing inside of you, and all I could see was how my dad could rip everything away. How can I keep a child safe when I can’t even…” I choke on my words. “When I can’t even keep you, my mom, or myself safe? When I can’t escape the one man who could absolutely ruin everything for us? I shouldn’t have run, I know that. But all I could think about was that I needed to figure out how to protect my family. And I needed to do it right away.
“So I left to do just that, not even realizing I didn’t utter a single word. Then, I started to think of every possibility of how I could fuck it up. How I don’t know how to be a good dad, and I got scared. It was like a siren going off in my head, warning me that I would only cause harm to the baby. That Dad was the only example of a father I had growing up, and I’ll become just like him.” My words are wobbly, but it’s not in fear anymore. No, it’s in barely restrained anger at him .
“Carter, no. You’re nothing like him,” she says fiercely, her eyes burning with determination.
“I’m coming to realize that.” I give her a sad smile, squeezing her hands, before I tell her the rest. “I knew that I had to get him as far away from Ivy Glen as possible for that to happen. I went and saw him, thinking maybe, if I figure out what he wants, I can give it to him and keep him away from all of us. He wants… well, almost everything. Half my yearly salary, plus five hundred thousand dollars by the end of the week. He says if I give it to him, he’ll leave Ivy Glen and stay away.”
“Do you think he actually would?” she asks, sniffling slightly.
“I don’t know. If I know my dad, it would get him to stay away for maybe a year, tops. But then he’d come back. He always does. I know that now. I thought maybe just giving him the money and leaving anyway would be best. If he never knew the baby was mine, he’d have no reason to come after you.” Sophie’s eyes light up in anger, but before she can rip me a new one, I keep going. ”But… then I talked to Mom. She made me realize how wrong I’ve been about everything.”
Taking a deep breath, I look straight into her shining honey-brown eyes. “Mom was the one who helped me find the strength I needed to stand up to Dad. She made me see how I am nothing like him, and I never will be. And then…” I shake my head, a small laugh leaving me. “Then she handed over all the evidence we would ever need to put him in prison. She’s been collecting it for years. All the proof we need to get the cops on him is sitting in a box in my hotel room right now.”
She looks like she’s about to speak again, but I need to get all of this out.
“I love you so, so much.” My voice wavers, needing her to know just how much I mean it. “I was a coward. I had decided that leaving would be better than putting you in danger, when really, I was taking away your choice in the matter. I made all these decisions that affect your life… without you. I was trying to keep you safe, but all I did was push you away. All I want is to protect you and the baby. I want… no, I need to be with you Sophie. You are it for me. I am completely, unashamedly, unconditionally, in love with you and our child..”
She almost knocks me over when she throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and nuzzling close. My heart stutters as she wraps her legs around my waist and I situate us so I’m sitting on the floor, holding her close.
Feeling her against me for the first time in over six weeks is like finally being able to breathe again. Like a piece I didn’t even realize was missing locks into place. My arms wrap around her middle like I want to keep her there permanently. We just sit there, her wrapped around me like a koala and me, breathing her in, reveling in the feel of her.
She feels like home.
“I love you too,” she murmurs into my ear, not moving from her position. “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you about Nicole. I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that. But I saw her texts, and it was like reliving graduation night. I wish I had answered your texts before you left, or even agreed to see you, but it was easier for me to fall back into self-preservation mode. I shouldn’t have done that though, you’ve more than proven yourself when it comes to me, and you deserved more. Whatever comes next, we’ll face it together. But,” she pulls back, her hands on my shoulders as she looks me in the eyes, “don’t ever pull shit like that again. If we’re going to be together, we need to be a team. That means no sacrificing yourself for the greater good, no just deciding we’d be safer without you, and telling me when something like this happens.”
Swallowing roughly, I nod “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I mean it, Carter. I know it’s a default mode for you, but you’re going to have to get past it if you want to keep me around.
“I’m never going to disappear on you again.” My hands grip her waist. “And from now on, I’m telling you everything as it happens.”
“Good.” She sighs. “I promise to listen to what you have to say instead of immediately going on the defensive and running away. And…” she looks at me and raises a brow, “I’m going to the police station with you. I want to see you take that bastard down.”
Her eyes are no longer glassy, instead shining with a fierceness that I’ve seen so many times. She looks so damn beautiful that I can’t help but stare at her, wondering how I got so lucky.
She’s going to be an amazing mother. Her heart, her protectiveness, her loyalty, her determination. How she pours all of herself into everything she does—this baby is going to be the most loved child on the planet.
“What?” she asks, her expression softening when she realizes I’m not saying anything.
Smiling, I shrug. “Just thinking about how lucky I am. How I get to have the love of my life and have a baby with her.”
She smiles blindingly at me, and then her eyes dart to my mouth. I don’t know who moves first, but one second, we’re staring at each other, and the next, we’re crashing together in a soul-consuming kiss.
Every emotion that I have for her pours into the kiss as our tongues dance together. Her soft lips on mine light my skin on fire, and I pull back, breathing hard. She lays her head on my shoulder, her chest moving up and down as she catches her breath.
“You’re tired,” I note, running a hand through her hair.
“Moreso in the last couple of weeks. Baby needs a lot of energy,” she murmurs into my shirt.
“Can I get you some food, and we can go back to my hotel?” I ask hopefully, continuing to run my fingers through her hair.
“Mmmm. As long as you keep doing that.”
A soft chuckle leaves me. “I promise. Whatever comes next, we’ll face it together. It’s you and me, Soph.”
Once we’re back in my hotel room, snuggled on the bed after eating some breakfast, I feel like I need to tell her what happened on graduation night. “About that night…”
“Which one?” she asks sleepily.
“The night of Tom’s accident.” I admit, and feel her head shift so she could look at me. She must see the pain on my face because she tries to sit up, but I keep my arms around her so she stays in place.
“You don’t have to talk about it. I don’t know what happened, but now that I know how your dad was…”
I shake my head. “No, I need to get this out. It’s good if you know exactly what we’re dealing with.” I let out a shaky exhale. “Dad and I were in the locker room at the rink. He had me running extra drills, even after practice had ended so we were the only two there. He was berating me, listing off all my mistakes, and I glanced at your text about missing me at graduation.”
My eyes shut tight and I swallow, remembering the way my heart dropped when I never got an answer from him.
“Then your phone call came through, and I tried to answer it. Dad… doesn’t like when he feels like I’m ignoring him. He snatched the phone from me, and… well, the situation ended with him beating the absolute shit out of me.” She stiffens underneath me, and I run my hands soothingly up her back, even though the memories are making me angry as fuck. “After he decided I had enough, he threatened to do twice the damage to Mom if I picked up the phone again. And that’s when I realized just how much power he held over me. I didn’t hear your voicemail, or find out about the accident until the next day. So I texted Tom, explaining everything but begged him not to tell you. I knew that if he did, you would try to get involved and help me, and I couldn’t risk that. The only way to keep you safe was to keep you out.”
“Carter…” When she says my name, it’s full of compassion and regret. Regret for me, and the situation Dad had me in. “You did the right thing. You were only eighteen, what more could you have done? You kept me safe, and while I’m so thankful for that… no more running. I can’t lose you, I don’t know if I… if we would survive it.”
“You’re the only one who’s ever had my heart, Soph. And this time, not even the devil himself could make me walk away. Remember, it’s you and me. And that little bean growing inside you.”
As we drift off to sleep together, I try to prepare my mind for tomorrow. Going to the police station, telling them everything I know. Anything to keep my family safe.
That’s what Sophie, and the life she’s growing are. My family.
If anyone ever threatens my family again… let’s just say Dad is lucky I’m not going to risk jail time to give him what he deserves.
After what he’s done to Mom, to me, and by extension, to Sophie, he deserves the worst kind of torture that I would happily give him if it didn’t mean ripping my family apart.
Tomorrow… it’s the first step in ensuring that none of us will ever have to live in fear again.