Chapter 15
According to Ken, her mother and Briony had met with the transplant coordinator to discuss their motivation for going ahead.
That had been followed by blood tests, an ECG, urine tests, and physical examinations, as well as ultrasounds to check compatibility, organ function and overall health.
Then there had been the psychological analysis and even a legal assessment before they could be given the green light to go ahead.
At every stage they’d been told they could proceed and now it was the day before the operation, and Bex had travelled to London to see her mum.
It would take over six hours by train and she was only planning on staying two nights in London.
It would be long enough to know that Donna had got safely through the op and was being cared for by the medical staff.
Then she planned to come back again once her mother went to stay with Iris, so she could care for her there.
Donna had tried to insist that Bex wait until she was out of hospital to visit, knowing what a juggling act it was with the boys and the business, but there was no way she’d miss the chance to speak to her mum before the operation and make sure there was nothing left unsaid.
The thought of not being able to tell Donna how much she loved her, and what a wonderful mother she’d always been, was too much.
She couldn’t bear the idea of not being there to see that her mum had made it through the op okay too and was on the road to recovery, but she couldn’t commit to longer than two days until Keira got back from her holiday to Greece and was able to help Tristan out with the campsite, which had become almost completely booked out in the wake of Briony sharing some photos of her location.
Tristan had said she never usually shared her location until she’d moved on, but given that Briony was now in London, she effectively had.
The flurry of bookings that had come in on the back of her recommendation shouldn’t have been a surprise, but they now had reservations for more than twelve months.
They weren’t fully booked every single week, but they had guaranteed income they couldn’t have dreamt of any other way.
However grudging it might be, part of her had to admit that none of that would have been possible without Briony’s help and that maybe Bex ought to be grateful to her sister and Tristan for keeping her in the dark and allowing it to happen.
She was trying really hard to revert to being the happy-go-lucky person she’d always been, and finding the good in every situation.
She might even have been able to tell Briony that she was grateful, if Tom hadn’t gone to her camper that day and scared the life out of Bex.
Maybe once the operation was over, she could thank Briony for her impact on the bookings, and, far more importantly, for saving their mum, before they went their separate ways again.
Either way, Briony’s recommendation had been a game-changer for the business and it meant Bex couldn’t leave everything on the campsite to Tristan, not when Matt needed him on the farm too.
‘Are you going to go and see Briony?’ Matt had asked as he’d pulled up outside the train station in Newquay to drop her off, earlier that morning.
‘No.’ She’d tried to sound nonchalant, as if the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind, but her husband knew her far too well and he’d echoed the words that Ken had already said to her.
‘Don’t you think you might regret it if anything unexpected happens and you don’t have a chance to make peace with her?’
‘All that would do is make me a massive hypocrite, because I’ve got no intention of making my peace with Briony if things go well.
I’m really grateful to her for stepping up and being the one to help Mum, but I don’t want her in my life again.
’ Her words sounded so certain and she said them loudly enough to drown out the nagging voice in her head that kept questioning whether she really did mean them.
She knew why the doubt was there. If she could have turned back the clock and had the old version of Briony back in her life, the version who hadn’t slept with Bex’s fiancé, then of course she would have done.
But there was no way of getting that version of her sister back, the one who’d been her little sidekick for so long and who she’d mothered whenever Donna couldn’t.
Every so often it had been Briony who’d taken on the big sister role instead, but only ever when it came to their father.
She’d been the one to call him out on his shortcomings and tell Bex over and over again that she deserved more than the scraps their father served up.
She’d also refused to allow him to play his mind games, when Briony had clearly become his favourite.
She’d rebuffed him in spectacular style when he’d started to reject Bex even more than he had in the past, trying to drive a wedge between the sisters.
He was a fool to even attempt that, but then he’d had no idea just how close they were, because of how often Donna wasn’t able to be around.
‘She’s my second mum.’ It was a phrase Briony had often used to describe Bex when she’d introduced her to friends and she’d felt that way too, believing she had the same kind of unconditional love for her little sister as she’d known her mum felt for them both.
Except it had turned out not to be the case, because finding Briony in the arms of her fiancé had been enough to kill that love stone dead.
At least Bex had thought so, until she’d come face to face with Briony again and realised there’d been a seed of love that not even that had been able to extinguish; a part of her that refused to believe their incredibly close relationship had all been just illusion.
Despite the fact that Briony had used a false name to get close to Tristan and Matt, and the lack of thought she’d shown when she’d invited Tom into her campervan, Bex’s head and heart had continued their battle.
She’d been determined to keep her sister at arm’s length, but now the transplant was getting closer, she was beginning to question whether she was doing the right thing once again.
It was why she’d been seriously considering going to see Briony, long before Matt had mentioned it, but she just couldn’t go through with it.
Tom had already formed an attachment to Briony, and the thought of allowing him to get hurt was enough to keep that seed of love buried deep.
In the end, she’d cut off the chance of any further conversation about it with Matt by leaning forward and kissing him.
‘I’m really going to miss you,’ she’d said as she pulled away.
‘Of course you are.’ Matt had dropped a perfect wink and grinned, before reaching out to cup the side of her face with his hand.
‘Although not half as much as I’m going to miss you.
I already can’t wait for you to come home, but if you need to stay longer then I want you to know you can.
Triss and I will manage, and the boys will be great if they know they need to step up.
Sometimes I think Henry is better at keeping the other two in check than I am, he’s like deputy dad these days. ’
‘He is.’ She’d tried not to think about the echoes of her relationship with Briony, or how she might feel if her boys ever fell out the way they had.
She loved watching the relationship between her sons and it was one of the things that made her heart happiest. It would kill her if she thought that might ever turn to dust, so she refused to think about it.
‘I love you, beautiful Bex, and don’t you ever forget that for a second.’
‘I won’t and I love you too.’ She’d kissed him again before climbing out of the car and heading off to catch her train.
Bex had spent most of the journey answering emails and confirming bookings for the campsite.
She’d been grateful for how little time it gave her to think.
After that, she’d been swallowed up by the belly of the beast that was the London transport system, taking the tube from Paddington to Victoria and then another train to Denmark Hill, before a final short walk to King’s College Hospital, where Ken was waiting for her.
‘You made it.’ He folded her into his arms, clinging on to her as if it had been years since he’d seen her.
‘There was no way I wouldn’t come.’ She breathed in the familiar scent of the sandalwood aftershave he’d always worn.
He used soap by the same brand too and the smell was instantly comforting.
She’d never felt anything but safe and cared for in Ken’s company and right now the sensation was forcing her to blink back tears.
Her mum would be okay. Somehow, she knew that for certain now that she was here with Ken.
He’d never allow anything bad to happen to his beloved Donna and, ever since he’d arrived in their lives, he’d lightened the load, easing all their troubles.
‘I’m so glad you’re here, sweetheart.’ Ken let go of a long breath as he pulled away. ‘Your mum is so worried about Briony being on her own tonight, but I can’t be in two places at once.’
‘It’s okay, I can take over sitting with Mum and you can make sure Briony is alright.’ Bex’s tone was steady as she spelled out the way it was going to be. She didn’t want Ken to think there was any room for negotiation, although that didn’t stop him trying.
‘I thought maybe we could divide our time between them.’
‘I know you’ll want to see Mum tonight too, but I’m not going to see Briony.’ She shook her head to emphasise the finality of her decision.
‘What if something happens and—?’