12. Chapter Twelve
12
Evan
I take a deep breath before approaching Mia. We've been dancing around each other since the revelation about Liam, but it's time to clear the air.
"Mia, can we talk?"
She looks up, her eyes guarded. "Sure, Evan. What's up?"
I sit beside her, choosing my words carefully. "I know I've been... distant since finding out about Liam. I was hurt, angry even. But I understand why you did what you did."
Mia's shoulders relax slightly. "I'm sorry, Evan. I should have told you sooner."
"We can't change the past," I say, surprising myself with how much I mean it. "But I want to be part of Liam's life now. And... I want us to try to move forward. Together."
She smiles, a tentative hope in her eyes. "I'd like that."
***
A Few Days Later
Mia is sitting in the living area when I step out of the hallway, exactly where I hoped she would be, and I let out a heavy sigh as I sink onto the cushion next to her. She’s got a to-go cup of coffee from the place around the block from where we’ve got the bus parked – I’m thankful that Carmen finally listened to Mia’s suggestions about that after the Travis fiasco.
As far as I’ve been able to tell, he really was all talk because there hasn’t been a damn thing viral through the media about me and Mia. Which is more of a relief than I thought it would be. After finding out about Liam, I wanted the idea of Mia keeping it a secret to push me away from her, and I’m worried it only drew us closer.
Mia used to take her calls alone at night, but now I’m involved in them as well and that means sharing the same space as her for a period of time. I’m finding that I crave that time now more than anything, especially when I get to see what she’s wearing to bed. It also doesn’t help that she’s a wonderful mother.
It only makes what I’m feeling that much more prominent, leaving me to wonder how I should go about everything.
I clear my throat, getting out of my own head for the conversation I want to have, and then look at Mia with a hopeful smile. “So, there’s something I want to run by you.”
Mia’s perfectly shaped brow lifts into the air, and she swallows a sip of her coffee. “Okay.”
As I prepare to share my idea, a nagging worry resurfaces. The stalker situation isn't resolved, and I'm about to suggest something that could put not just me, but Liam at risk. Still, the need to see my son, to be a real father to him, overrides my fears. We'll just have to be extra careful.
“I want to go to Liam, take him out to do something fun.”
While this benefits me and the bond I’m forming with Liam, I’m also doing it because I know Mia misses him like crazy, and I want to see that bright smile on her face.
She frowns. “Evan, you have a tour you should be focusing on and I’ve got a stalker to investigate. We really shouldn’t.”
“Mia, you kept him from me for six years. I missed everything, and now you’re going to deny me going to see him?”
Her eyes glisten and I immediately feel guilty for using that tactic. Instead of anger lately, all I feel is tremendous relief that my son had a mother like Mia to take care of him. I don’t want to see her upset.
“Look, I don’t understand why you kept the pregnancy from me.” She stiffens, probably thinking I’m going to start questioning her about it, but I don’t want to upset her any more. “But you’re letting me now, and I’m more than grateful for that. All I want is some time with him, in person rather than on a phone screen.”
It’s been great, getting to join in on the calls the last couple weeks, but I want more.
Mia’s shoulders sag forward and she nods slowly. “You’re right, Evan, but how can we do that?”
“It’s simple, there’s a three day break between tonight’s concert and the next. I could get us plane tickets, let Carmen know we have something to take care of, and we’ll meet them at the next stop from the plane.”
“You haven’t talked to Carmen about this?”
I shake my head. “Wanted to make sure you would be on board before I did that.”
“And you think she’ll be okay with it?”
“As long as you’re with me, I’m sure she’ll be fine. It would help her to not worry for a little while.”
Even though Mia is here to protect me, that hasn’t stopped Carmen from worrying about her and I highly doubt it’s going to stop until we get to the bottom of things.
As I explain my plan to Mia, I can't help but imagine a future where these visits aren't just stolen moments between tour stops. What would it be like to be there for Liam every day? To help with homework, to cheer at his soccer games? The thought both thrills and terrifies me. Can I balance being a rockstar and a dad?
Do I even want to try?
Mia’s face blanches and she shakes her head. “What if we put Liam in danger, Evan? He could follow you anywhere…”
The thought had occurred to me. Which is why I bought everything to help with our disguise. We’ll leave as we are, disappear into a crowded store somewhere, then emerge as completely different people.
“I thought ahead,” I tell her while pulling the backpack from my shoulders and dropping it onto the floor.
She watches as I reach inside and pull out a platinum blonde wig that cascades in curls. I shake the long hair at her, smiling confidently, and she laughs so hard tears come out of her eyes. “Seriously? A disguise?”
“What, you don’t like it?”
When I pull out my own disguise, that sends her completely over the edge, and she drops back on the couch, still cackling. I’ve never seen her this out of character before — it’s nice.
After a few minutes, she finally sucks in deep breaths of air and sits back up on the couch with a grin.
I wiggle my finger in front of her face. “What’s that grin for?”
She rises from the couch and winks at me. “I’m just ready to see what you look like as a bald man.” Her laughs start up again as she walks down the hall, and I smile at the easy way she’s showing her emotions.
***
We’re all ready to go and rock out, which leaves me more pumped than usual because I know that me and Mia are getting on the first plane out of here when the concert is over. I’m excited but nervous at the same time.
Carmen pushes the bus door open, only to freeze in place and frown at someone who’s standing outside. I try to look over her shoulder, but Brent and Jace are in my way. Brent leans forward, and then a big smile overtakes his features, and he nearly bulldozes through Carmen’s frame.
“You’re shitting me,” he says excitedly before leaning into whoever it is and giving them a welcoming hug. “What are you doing here? Last time we talked, you said you didn’t know when you’d get the chance to come back.”
Come back?
I blink, then push past Jace, and my eyes widen at the man standing outside the bus.
Donny looks as good as he did before having to leave to take care of some family business. He had assured us he would come back to the band but recommended that we replace him for the time being until that happened. Since then, we’ve had a revolving door of backup drummers throughout the tour.
“No shit,” I say while taking a step toward the stairs, except Mia’s hand keeps me from going any further.
“You’ve really got to stop doing that,” she grumbles before pushing in front of me and checking our surroundings. Once she’s satisfied, she lets out a heavy sigh and waves her hand ahead to allow me through.
Donny watches her curiously, and I shrug. “My bodyguard, but that’s not important. What are you doing, man?”
His cheeks heat, and he shifts on his feet. “I, uh, wanted to see if I could join you guys for the rest of the tour.”
Carmen looks between us, a frown on her face, and I know what she’s thinking. “That would be great, but we’ve already got a backup drummer lined up for tonight.”
“I’ll watch from backstage. I’d hate to take him out of the show.”
Brent nods, then cocks his head to the side. “You sure you’ll be able to do it, man?”
Donny nods. “The family emergency has been taken care of, and I’m fully onboard as long as you guys are.”
A throat clears, and Carmen has her arms crossed over her chest. “And what about my input?”
“Ah,” Donny says, flashing Carmen a megawatt smile. “You must be Mack’s replacement, right?”
“Yes,” she mumbles.
“I’m glad you picked up his slack, and I appreciate you taking care of my guys. Is there a problem with me hopping back in?”
Carmen rolls her eyes. “Other than the fact that we’ve got backup drummers lined up in every city? Not a thing.”
“Right.” Donny clears his throat and looks between the guys, then nods. “In that case, I’ll wait until the tour is over.”
“And after that, we’ll hold an audition for your place in the band.”
Everyone’s eyes bug out except for Mia’s, and Donny scrubs a hand down his face. “I’ve already been part of the band. Doesn’t that count enough?”
Carmen narrows her eyes at him and stomps one of her tiny feet onto the ground. “Yet you left the position. I understand you had things to take care of, but you can’t just waltz back in like that time without you never happened.”
I want to open my mouth and vouch for our guy, but Brent clears his throat and nods. It’s a reluctant nod, but one nonetheless. “You’re right, Carmen. We’ll hold an audition as soon as the tour ends, that sound good to you, Donny?”
He’s wary, but eventually, he nods in response and gives Carmen a small smile. “I appreciate the chance, Carmen.”
Now that this awkward meeting is over, I clear my throat. “Are we ready for a concert, or what?”
It’s like everyone suddenly remembers that’s where we need to be because they start speed walking toward the limo waiting for us along the crowded lot. Maybe I still am the level-headed one.
***
I’m nervous when we step off the plane in New Jersey. As I requested, after getting through baggage claim and making it onto the crowded sidewalk outside the airport, there’s a car waiting for us.
The older man greets us with a smile, then politely grabs our carry-on bags and tosses them into the trunk. Since we’ll only be here for a couple of days, I thought it would be best that we pack light.
After Donny’s surprise arrival, I thought Carmen would definitely change her mind about me leaving, but she told me she expected updates from Mia before walking out of the stadium, hot on Brent and Jace’s heels.
Mia slides into the backseat, me following behind her, and I run my sweaty palms over my pants. As the car pulls away from the curb, Mia rips the wig from her head and scratches at her scalp furiously.
“You okay there?” I ask after watching her for five minutes.
She narrows her eyes at me. “This is on you, Goldie.”
We sit in silence for the rest of the ride, mainly because I can’t think about anything other than what I’m going to do with Liam when we finally get to Mia’s place, and the tension grows thick. When the car finally slows to a stop in front of a medium-sized two-story home located in the middle of what seems like a nice neighborhood, everything starts to become more real.
It was one thing to talk to him on the phone, but now I’m here.
Mia places her hand on my thigh, sending warmth throughout the limb, and she says, “You’ll be fine.”
“What if he doesn’t like me as much in person?”
She rolls her eyes and smiles. “Trust me, that’s not going to happen. If he didn’t like you, you would’ve known by now.”
Before I can respond, there’s a squeal from outside the car and Liam is rushing toward the vehicle with a big smile on his face. The trip was definitely worth it. I haven’t even started getting out of the car yet when Mia comes out to Liam and spins him around.
She places him back on the ground, tears leaking from her eyes, and she tugs him against her chest one more time. “I missed you, baby.”
Liam smiles. “I missed you more.” He looks once more at the car, locking eyes with me, and they brighten. “And you brought my friend! Best. Day. Ever!”
All the nerves I felt right before we pulled up have vanished, replaced with a smile about as wide as my son’s, and I finally step out of the car. The feel of Liam’s tiny arms wrapping around my legs is something I didn’t think I’d ever crave, but it immediately fills me with happiness, and I realize I want this all the time.
If that’s something Mia would allow… I’ve no idea, but I’ll talk to her about it.