Chapter One #2
The knife to the gut is so painful, so grievous, that I let her face go forcefully but lean down and kiss her forehead. My chest is rising and falling hard as I linger on her skin a little longer than necessary, then walk over to my suitcase.
“You’re making a massive mistake, Ella… and you’re fucking breaking me in the process.
I know you’ve been through trauma. Life-altering trauma, but making massive decisions like this isn’t the right thing to do.
I’ll give you some time to think things through…
to really think this. Because I don’t want to give up on us.
I adore you too fucking much to let you go.
But I’ll give you the time you obviously need—”
“I don’t need time, Danger.” She cuts me off with a firm interruption. “I’ve made up my mind.”
Jesus, this really seems final.
“Fuck, Ella! Don’t do this. I can’t function without you.” A single tear slowly trickles down my cheek while I stare at her.
She wipes the tears from her pale cheeks and shakes her head. “And I can’t function without him.”
A wave crashes over me—more like a tsunami of jealousy and despair—washing away every bit of strength and, in the process, purging any ounce of energy I have left to fight.
My chest heaves, and I clench my fist, punching straight through the plasterboard wall.
I don’t have time to register the pain in my hand before I turn my anger toward a lamp, hurtling it across the room, while another throaty groan explodes deep from within my lungs.
Darkness creeps into my world as I hyperventilate, my blood pulsating through me while the air rushes through my lungs quickly. Blood pools, then it runs down my fingers onto the carpet from my busted-up knuckles before I turn to take one last look at Ella.
She cowers away, but I don’t care how scared she appears.
With no regard for her well-being, I stare her down with a harshness so cold and distant I hope she feels it in her damn soul.
“I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved.
I have nothing! You have taken everything from me.
I hope you’re damn happy.” My feet stomp across the floor to my luggage, which I pick up and storm out of the hotel room with anger eating me alive, as well as misery that may devour me whole.
My body is failing when I step into the elevator and press the button repeatedly. I need space between me and that woman who has devastated my life. I turn to the elevator, continuously slamming my finger on the button.
The door bings and opens.
Quickly, I spin back, looking at the life I had, the life I wanted so badly. I backstep into the elevator, the door quietly closing on the life I was destined for with my girl.
She broke me.
Ella fucking broke me.
Every. Fucking. Single. Inch of me.
I want to hate her.
Curse her.
Despise the ground she walks on.
Every part of me is itching to burn her photographs and remove her from my existence, but the real kicker is that I love her so damn much.
The fucking bitch.
The doors open too slowly, so I push past them, dragging my luggage behind me. I step out into a crowded foyer and head straight outside to a cab. After throwing my suitcase in the trunk, the cab driver looks at me but doesn’t say a word when I slide into the back of the car.
“Where to?” he asks.
“Airport.”
***
Drowning in whiskey sounds like a perfect plan to me.
After the morning I’ve had, copious amounts of hard liquor are called for. The ache in my fucking chest is damn near unbearable, and I can’t get the look of detachment on Ella’s face from my mind.
The untouched bed and lack of luggage should have been an indication, but my love and faith in her blinded me. She had already let me go from the moment she walked into that damn hotel room, and nothing I could have said or done would have made her pick me.
I’m a lost cause destined to walk the Earth alone. And I’m fucked if I’ll be looking for another woman to share my life with. Ella’s made it clear that love is something strictly for suckers and assholes. And I’m only going to make an asshole of myself once in this lifetime.
No way am I falling for a woman again.
I wasn’t soft before Ella.
I’m sure as hell not going to be after her.
Throwing down another three fingers of whiskey makes my senses come alive.
The only downside is that everything reminds me of Ella fucking Slade.
We should be on the beach in Honolulu, drinking Mai Tais and listening to Hawaiian music while planning our wedding.
But no, she wants nothing to do with me, even though I am ready to board another plane after getting off one only a few hours ago.
When I say I left everything for her, I mean everything—my band, my life, my country, my family. I abandoned my entire life…
… for her.
And what do I get for that sacrifice?
Kicked in the heart.
I was right to treat women the way I used to—fuck and leave—because all they want is to fucking hurt you.
Evil succubae. They drain and suck the life out of you, take your soul, and pull your manliness out of your ass until you’re a carcass of the man you once were.
She’s a siren, a witch, an evil sorceress who put a spell on me, and I swear I will never fall under that spell again.
No, from now on, women will only be in my life for one thing and one thing only—fuck and forget.
No more attachments.
No more falling for that ‘special’ woman.
It’s back to the old Danger—the rock star, pussy-loving chick magnet. I was the man every man wanted to be and the man every woman ached to be with.
Danger is back.
Nothing will stand in my way.
Ever. Again!