Chapter 39
Full-Time Whistle: Like the referee blowing the final whistle at the end of a match.
Translation: Exiting the Bad Boy Era.
Wolf
“How’s it going?” Cliona asks as I put my phone on speaker and set it on the dresser to keep both my hands free to hold Rugby
to my chest.
“Fine,” I reply tightly as I stare at my empty barn flat one more time.
She sighs heavily. “Have you talked to her?”
“No, Clio. Stop asking.”
“You’re both being stupid,” she exclaims angrily. “And I don’t mean you’re stupid for turning down the Leinster opportunity.
You’re stupid for not working through this with Everly, especially after deciding to stay in Colorado. My God, this is world-class
stupidity.”
I blow a long breath out and pace my flat while holding Rugby. It was a huge decision to accept the Grizzlies offer and essentially
decline the interest from Leinster. For years, that was the dream—Trinity to Leinster, Leinster to Ireland Caps, Ireland to
the world. The Reilly Rugby Twins take over Ireland. Christ, it’s all Cliona and I talked about.
But the truth is, Denver gave me a chance when no one else would.
The team, the youth program, the mountain, the Fletcher family—it’s the first place that made me feel like more than just Conri the Convict.
Like more than just a rugby player. To leave now would feel like I’m walking away from the man I want to become.
This decision has nothing to do with Everly. In fact, there’s an argument I could make that choosing to stay is harder than
deciding to leave. If I were back in Dublin, I’d have half a chance of forgetting her and moving on. Staying here will be
an exercise in restraint. Especially with my past little habit of stalking.
“There’s nothing to work through,” I state flatly. “Everly doesn’t want me.”
“But she looked at you like you hung the bloody moon and then stapled ridiculous fairy lights in the sky for good measure.”
I close my eyes and run my finger under Rugby’s chin. My chest aches just thinking of her.
Cliona keeps going, relentless. “She’s scared. That’s all this is. You think you’re the only one who’s got demons? That girl
may look like she lives a perfect life, but we’re all fools in love. You’re both just running away.”
“Clio—”
“No, listen.” Her voice sharpens again. “You’ve spent your whole life fighting for people, Wolf. Protecting them, even when
they didn’t know it. Maybe it’s time you fight for yourself.”
Rugby noses under my chin, like he knows I’m about to crack. My throat tightens, and I can’t even get a word out.
Cliona sighs again, gentler now. “You can keep convincing yourself she doesn’t want you, or you can do the scarier thing and
show up anyway. But don’t you dare tell me you love her and then just . . . vanish. That’s not my brother. That’s a coward.”
The line goes quiet, and I swear I can hear my own heartbeat echoing in the emptiness of the flat.
The flat that I’ll miss more than I realized when I told Fergie I was ready to move in with him.
This is all happening so fast, and for the first time in days, I wonder if she’s right.
If maybe the stupidest thing I’ve ever done isn’t red-carding out of my final match at Trinity or turning down an opportunity to try out for a world-class rugby team in Dublin—maybe it’s walking away from Fletcher Mountain too soon.
“Would you mind delivering Rugby up to Everly’s cabin?” I ask, holding the large glass tank up at the front door of Trista’s
cabin.
“Yeah, no problem,” Trista says, reaching out to take it from me.
Only I don’t quite let it go. “Everly said she would take him, but if something changes, I’ll take him back.”
“Okay.” Trista attempts to tug the enclosure out of my hands.
“Fergie’s place doesn’t really allow pets, but I’ll figure something out if I need to.” I struggle to let go.
“I understand,” Trista says with a laugh and tries again to take my bearded dragon, but I refuse to let go.
“Just promise you won’t put him up for adoption,” I say in a rush, my body tense.
“I won’t.” Trista offers me a desperate smile. “We got him, Wolf. You’re good.”
I finally release the tank, and she moves to set it down on the dining room table inside. I stare at Rugby one last time,
already having done my proper goodbyes to my dragon in my barn flat, like a real man . . . where I could weep in privacy.
Trista returns to the door and looks past me where Fergie is waiting in his vehicle with the last of my stuff. “You guys all
loaded up now?”
“Yeah.” I grip the back of my neck and look past Trista. “Does she still not want to say goodbye to me?”
“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her yourself.” Trista glances down at the wall beside the door, and I shift to see Stevie hiding behind the entry table, peering over at me with a sullen look on her face.
“Hey, Steve,” I state, staring down at my summer shadow. “I’m taking off for real now.”
She makes a little growling noise as she ducks behind the table, her small fingers digging into the wood as she refuses to
look at me. She’s been giving me the silent treatment since she found out I was leaving the mountain. It’s been slowly breaking
my heart. Just like another girl up the hill.
“Do you want to give me a quick hug, maybe?” I ask, squatting down in the doorway.
She shakes her head, her lower lip jutting out as she remains silent.
I swallow the knot in my throat. “What if I hug you hard enough for the both of us?”
Her little chin quivers as she steps out from behind the furniture and walks over to me. She doesn’t lift her hands or look
into my eyes. She just silently gives me access to her, and it fucking rips my heart right down the middle.
I grab her denim jacket and pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame like my life depends on it. Her body
melts against mine, her bones turning limp as I squeeze her, feeling her chest shake with silent cries.
God help me.
When I let go, her face twists with emotion, and she releases a loud sob that breaks through the last ounce of my control
before she runs off, her cries fading into the distance as she hides herself away down the hall.
My lips curl as my own tears fall down my cheeks, my throat closing with all the emotions surging through me. If I’m this bad just moving to Denver, I can’t imagine how bad I would be if I’d accepted the tryout offer from Leinster.
“She’ll be okay,” Trista offers, giving me a pat on the back as I swipe at my cheeks. “And we’ll see you next weekend for
the auction anyways, right?”
I nod and clear my throat as I stand, struggling to make eye contact. “Yeah, I’m happy to be here for that.”
“Good. This is fine! This isn’t goodbye, then. This is just see you later.” Trista gives me a big hug before releasing me
to turn and walk down the steps of her deck.
I pause to take in the view of Fletcher Mountain one more time. It’s a sight I’ll miss almost as much as that curly-haired
toddler. But it’s time for me to move on, even if it is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
I look up the hill of Fletcher Mountain, past all three cabins to the one at the very top. And that’s where I see her.
Everly is standing on her deck, arms wrapped tightly around her body, watching me.
I lift my hand, silently waving my goodbye. She returns the gesture, a mirror image of what I’m giving her.
My body aches to go to her, to wrap her in my arms one more time. But I fear if I do that, I won’t be strong enough to let
go.
This is for the best.
From a distance.
Like it always should have been.