Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
May swiped her phone’s screen to answer the incoming call. “Hey, Lou.”
“How are you this fine Sunday?”
“Well, I’m sitting at a red light wondering if driving to Xavier’s house after he ghosted me all weekend makes me desperate. So, not great. How about you?”
Silence greeted her. May had intended to confront him about the whole asking-Jewell-if-she-could-work-from-home thing and hadn’t had the chance to do that yet. She was no longer seething, but neither was she upbeat about the situation. It’d been a huge overstep, and she intended to tell him that.
“I’m sorry, hon. I assumed you’d be on cloud nine!”
That sounded oddly specific.
“What are you not telling me?”
Lou replied with a high-pitched, “Nothing! I meant in general.”
“I love you, but I don’t believe you. If this has anything to do with Xavier, you’d better spill. He is already on my shit list, so say what you gotta say.”
Her friend gave in with an audible sigh. “Fine. I assumed it was a done deal, but apparently not. I hope I’m not ruining the surprise.”
“I don’t want any more surprises.” The pregnancy, the crib, and Xavier suggesting she work from home were enough. “I’d rather know, if you don’t mind.”
“Ant mentioned that you two were…going to be living together.”
A car behind her honked, alerting her that the light had turned green. She gently depressed the gas pedal while deciding how to respond. She bought herself a moment by asking, “Oh?”
“I must have misunderstood. Forget I said anything.”
“Xavier is making a lot of assumptions, and I’m not privy to any of them.” And didn’t cohabitating just take the cake?
“Uh-oh. Besides the crib, was there anything else?”
“One thing, but I don’t want to go into it right now. I’m almost to his house.”
“Well, shit. From now on, I will not repeat what Ant tells me.”
“You’d better.” She softened her voice, allowing her ire to recede for her friend’s sake.
“None of this is your fault, or Ant’s fault.
When I found out I was pregnant, I drove straight to Xavier to talk to him about it so that he wouldn’t hear from anyone but me.
He’s capable of communicating with me the same way. ”
“That’s an excellent point. Call me with an update as soon as you talk to him…unless you two end up having sex all night, in which case, tomorrow morning is fine.”
Rather than burst her bubble that sex wouldn’t fix any of this, May promised to call.
In Xavier’s driveway, she breathed slowly in and out through her nose. She was upset, but no good would come from going in, guns blazing, without giving him a chance to explain. And she was owed an explanation for what he’d talked to Jewell about and what he’d said to Ant.
As centered as she’d ever be, she walked to the front door and knocked a few times. It was for the best that she didn’t drink caffeine. She was shaky as it was.
Xavier didn’t open the door; his brother did.
“Mayday!” Lynx grinned, disarming her completely. He was a good-looking guy and—
“Whoa.” She snapped her attention from the dark bruise encircling his left eye, to the busted cheek, to the scrapes on his neck.
“Looks worse than it feels.” He gestured to a particularly swollen area. “Unless you are offering to nurse me back to health, in which case this hurts like a bitch and I could use some sympathy.”
“That’s enough, Lynx,” Xavier grumbled from somewhere inside.
“Not getting much in here.” Lynx tipped his head in his brother’s direction, totally unfazed.
Xavier opened the front door wider. From over his brother’s shoulder, he nodded at May. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Did you text me that you were coming?” Xavier palmed his phone. “I’ve been so busy this morning, I must have missed it.”
“No, I wanted to get out of the house, and since I needed to talk to you, I decided to just…show up.”
“Uh-oh.” Lynx glanced at his brother. “Sounds like you’re in deep shit.”
Xavier grabbed Lynx’s upper arm, presumably to steer him away from the front door, but Lynx shook off his grip.
“I’m going, I’m going!” Lynx disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.
“He’s driving me crazy.” Xavier leaned, one arm propped on the doorway, his other hand resting on the knob. He looked sexy in a snug henley and jeans, his hair finger-combed rather than styled.
Damn. Maybe they would end up having sex.
“I hope you’re not the one who hit him.”
“Tempting, but no.” He offered a half-smile that was almost as disarming as his brother’s. Except she was pissed at Xavier, which made it easier to stay armed. “It happened Friday night, and he’s been here since. Avoiding Mom and Dad.”
“Friday?” May blinked. Lynx had been in a fight two days ago? Yet another thing Xavier hadn’t shared with her. “Where’s the best place to talk? Privacy would be nice.”
Worry eked into his expression in the form of pinched eyebrows.
“How about we talk by the dock?” She wasn’t going to silence herself any longer. She’d come here to clear things up, and that’s what she was going to do.
“Sure. Do you need anything to drink before we go down?”
“The service industry is really baked into you, isn’t it?”
“Guess so.” He frowned.
“No. Thank you. I’m good.”
He pulled the door shut and followed her. They paced side by side down the hill, stepping carefully on the wide, natural rock steps.
When she reached the Adirondack chair, she gripped the back of it with both hands and looked out over the water. “You have the best view.”
“Better with you in it.”
When she turned to look at him, she could tell he was being sincere. Was it possible that he had no clue why she was upset?
“I hear you’re planning on asking me to move in.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Or were you going to discuss it with the movers before you mentioned it to me?”
His head jerked on his neck briefly. “What are you—”
“And while we’re on the topic, I don’t appreciate you asking Jewell if I can work from home. I don’t want to work from home. Which you would know if you’d asked me.”
“It wasn’t premeditated,” he said. “I thought you’d need a break when the baby came, and I couldn’t ask her how long you’d be off for maternity leave since she didn’t know you were pregnant. Asking about working from home was a good workaround.”
“Uh, not really.” May continued, her voice rising, “You said you weren’t making plans, and now I’m finding out from other people that you are very much making plans.
Worse, I’m not aware of those plans and they all involve me.
I’m not only a part of this, Xavier. I am the biggest part of this.
I’m literally carrying the baby you’re making plans for! ”
He lifted his hands to touch her but then dropped them like he’d thought better of it. “I’m sorry. I thought that handling everything would take the pressure off you. I don’t want you to worry about the details.” He gestured to her still-flat stomach. “You’re carrying a baby. That’s a lot.”
She closed her eyes and sighed. He was making sense but missing the point. “I am more than a pregnant woman. I have a career. I have a life. A life and career that I had, by the way, before you and me were doing whatever it is we’re doing.”
“We’re in this together,” he said. “I have it under control.”
“Together?” She let out a loud ha! “You’re doing everything on your timeframe, and I’m in the dark. That’s not ‘together.’ To find out that you’ve been talking to Ant about cribs and cohabitating and to Jewell about my working from home—your home, I’m assuming—is presumptuous. And inconsiderate.”
“If it’s a communication issue—”
“It’s more than that. You’re being Mister In-Control, handling the details, but you haven’t included me in your plans.” She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. “You have been avoiding me this weekend. When were you planning on telling me about Lynx?”
“When, exactly, should I have done that? When I found him walking down the street in the middle of the night? Or how about when I made sure he could handle his hangover the next morning so I could go to work? Which, by the way, I rushed to because my busboy didn’t show up.
Maybe I could have called you after the guy who brews beer for me gave me two days’ notice that he was quitting? ”
He raked a hand through his hair in clear frustration.
“I promised Jewell a working app by summer, and I promised you that you wouldn’t have to worry about anything, also by summer.
But my restaurant that was running smoothly before isn’t any longer, and my brother, who was running fairly smoothly, also isn’t any longer.
So yeah, I had a few things on my mind and didn’t tell you about them. I’m doing my fucking best.”
She felt her face warm at his tone. She hadn’t known any of that, but there was a good reason for it: He hadn’t told her about any of it. He was allowed to be angry. Frankly, it was better than him trying to putty over everything with a smile.
But she was angry too, and his anger didn’t cancel out hers. She spun on her heel and started up the stone steps toward her car, calling over her shoulder, “Goodbye, Xavier.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving!”
“Don’t dump me over a misunderstanding. Can’t we talk about it?”
“Aren’t you too busy to talk?” she shot back. In front of his house, she paused in the grass, her fists clenched at her sides. “How can I dump you if we’re not together?”
“We are.”
“We’re not.”
She was pregnant with their baby, but that hadn’t linked them as a couple.
She’d made decisions and he’d made decisions, but they hadn’t included each other in them.
They were very much operating as solopreneurs in the business that was them.
A twinge of guilt shocked her ribcage, but she was too angry to admit it.
“I’ve never done this before.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and watched his shoes, his posture reminding her of Lynx’s. “I’ve screwed up before. Bad. I don’t want to screw this up. What we have feels way too big to get wrong.”
The sincerity in his eyes hit her hard. She shored up, not wanting to lose the justified amount of anger she still held.
“Before I moved here, I was just a guy who got cheated on. I moved to a new town and started a new job, both to avoid dealing with the fallout of a relationship that had imploded. I was running from the biggest failure of my life.”
“And I had a mom who was alive and a father who was involved in my life,” she said softly.
“We were individuals before we made a baby together, Xavier. But I need to be in this with you. I’m not a catalyst for your personal growth.
I’m not here for you to prove that you’re a protector or that you can succeed.
I want to partner with you on the hard stuff, not be shielded from it. ”
The silence around them was heavy, which might have been why the sound of the door squeaking was so loud. She turned her head to find Lynx leaning on the door frame, a half-eaten sandwich in one hand.
He straightened from his lean. “I, uh…came outside to offer May the other sandwich you made me. Too full to eat it myself.” His nervous smile said what he didn’t—he’d overheard everything. “He makes good sandwiches.”
Xavier regarded his brother with a glare of pure steel.
Lynx pointed over his shoulder. “I’m going to go in now.”
“Good idea.” After he’d gone, Xavier rubbed his forehead. “Goddammit.”
“It’s not his fault.” She wasn’t reeling that Lynx knew the truth.
She was too busy noticing the dynamic between the two brothers.
Xavier was committed and dependable, the one who rushed in when things went sideways.
He poured himself into Salty Dog the same way—into everyone and everything around him that was falling apart.
Taking care of people was a role he wore like a second skin.
And that personality trait smacked of familiarity.
Prescott had also been committed to taking care of the people around him.
Of his sisters, his mother and father, even his future partners at work.
And when May’s mom had passed, he’d stepped up for her as well.
Even when their relationship deteriorated and his heart hadn’t been in it, he’d been there. Steady. Stable.
Because it was his duty.
Their relationship had been more about obligation, and she’d been the last to know. He’d stayed because it had been the right thing to do, not because he’d loved her.
Xavier wasn’t Prescott—not even close, but they overlapped. Xavier was responsible, driven, and took care of everyone. From his business to his brother, and now May, who happened to be carrying his baby.
She’d gone from being his friend to sharing his bed to becoming someone to manage. A line item. A task.
Ugh.
She wanted to be in this relationship with him. Because they’d uncovered something special, not because he was dutybound. She wasn’t his business, and she refused to be handled like one.
“I’m going to leave.” She nodded to remind herself she was doing the right thing. Leaving now would be hard, but walking away after years together—after raising a child together—would be harder.
“May. May, wait.” He followed her to her car. “We can fix this. It’s fixable. Right?”
His hesitant smile put a dent in the armor of her heart. But she couldn’t escape the idea that her past was repeating itself—this time with a baby on the way.
“That’s exactly what I don’t want. To be fixed. To be a project on your to-do list.”
“May—”
“Goodbye.” She shut herself into the car.
Before she reversed out of the driveway, she stole a glance at Xavier through the windshield.
His shoulders were sagging, his eyebrows bent, his fists curled at his sides.
He looked like a man who’d finally understood the damage he’d caused and had no clue how to undo it.
That made two of them.
Before she talked herself out of leaving, she backed out, turned onto the street, and left Xavier and his beautiful lake house behind.