36. Savannah #2
At the sound of Nico’s leather shoes shuffling down the hall in my direction, time slows to a standstill, and I freeze along with it, my words dying on my tongue.
He pads into the living room, and before I can stop him, he leans down into the camera’s frame, kisses the top of my head, and whispers, “Missed you in the shower, gattina.”
His tattooed fingers trail the back of my neck, giving me goosebumps, as he walks towards the kitchen to make us an espresso before he leaves for the airport. Unable to stop myself, I wistfully watch him move around the kitchen in his charcoal-gray slacks and unbuttoned dress shirt.
When I look back at the camera, at my sister, I find her frowning in disbelief. She knows, and there is no going back. She saw him with her own eyes. “Is that…”
“Yes,” I admit.
Charlotte’s eyes are wide with shock as she mumbles, “He’s the man you’re seeing?”
“Yes,” I admit again. Pain lances my heart as a single tear rolls down Charlotte’s cheek. “Char, please listen to me.”
“You know how he hurt me. Right? Why him, Savannah?” Using my full name is another sharp lance to my already aching heart.
“I know he did, but…” Nico’s not the same person. He’s sorry. Say anything, my brain screams at me.
“You should have told me,” she says, voice cracking with emotion. I’m not sure if she’s more hurt that the man I’m seeing is her ex, or if it’s because I lied to her, or if it’s from the emotion of worrying over her child. A lot has happened in the last five minutes.
“I wanted to tell you. I-I just…” I stutter.
“You just what?” The baby fusses in Charlotte’s arms, sensing his mother’s distress at my betrayal. “Never mind. It’s not important. I have a baby to take care of. I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Charlotte, please talk to me.”
“No. I can’t deal with this right now. My son is sick and needs my attention.” Before I can apologize or beg for her forgiveness—anything—my sister ends the video. The screen goes black, like my soul knowing I’m the one who broke her heart. Her trust.
I drop my phone and press my palms into my eyes, trying to quell the incoming storm of tears determined to fall.
“Savannah.” The scent of rich leather fills my space as the couch dips beside me. Nico attempts to pull me in for a hug, but I push him away.
“Don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” I can hear the gristle of emotion in his voice.
Pulling my hands from my face, I look up at Nico. Something an awful lot like fear swirls in his gray orbs. Another slash through my broken heart. But I can’t deal with this right now. I’m hurting Charlotte, myself, and him, and it’s all too much.
“Please Nico. Not right now. I can’t do this. You heard her; she was devastated.”
“That’s not exactly what I heard.”
“That’s because you only want to hear what you want to,” I shout, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Yes. No. I don’t know. I feel like everything is unraveling too fast for me to grasp. “I’m sorry. I need to go home. I can’t be here and think.”
“Don’t go, gattina.”
“I have to. This is… I don’t know. But I hurt my sister, and I’m afraid she’s never going to talk to me again. I can’t let that happen.” I tear myself away from the couch, from him, before I lose the strength to. Bending down, I gather my belongings in the hallway, Nico following close behind me.
“What can I do to help?” he asks.
“You helped enough,” I snap. My emotions are running high, and I can’t stop the horrible accusation from slipping. “I mean, what were you thinking? Did you do it on purpose? Were you trying to hurt Charlotte?”
“Of course not.” Nico scoffs. “You know I don’t want to hurt her. She’s your sister. I know how much she means to you. I wasn’t thinking about the camera. All I wanted to do was kiss my girl.”
My girl.
His words cause pain and happiness as they wrap my heart like the thorns of the most beautiful rose bush you could imagine. My breath hitches, and sweat breaks out on the back of my neck as I reach the verge of a breakdown. “I have to go.”
“You’re really going to leave right now?” Unmistakable hurt bleeds through his voice.
“I’m sorry. I have to go. I-I-I…” I can’t finish my sentence.
There’s too much going on in my head as I try to process the pain in my sister’s eyes. In Nico’s. The hollow ache in my chest. Every cell is screaming for me to run.
My knees give out, and I stumble, but Nico, my steady foundation, catches me before I hit the ground.
He wraps his arms around my body, hugging me tight, allowing me to bury my face in his shirt as a sob breaks free and the tears I’ve been holding back fall.
Nico provides me comfort even as I’m pushing him away.
Sacrificing his own feelings and needs for mine. Putting me first.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair.
“Me too,” I murmur too low for him to hear.
Minutes pass before Nico cups my cheeks in his palms, as if I’m precious treasure, and tilts my chin back to look me in the eye.
His glacial eyes are glassy. “As much as I don’t want to let you go, I will.
But I can’t watch you leave.” He tenderly kisses my forehead.
“Go before I change my mind and beg you to stay. But don’t forget, gattina. Ti appartengo. Ti aspetterò.”
With another kiss to my forehead, Nico leaves me by the door and disappears into his bedroom.
I rush out of his apartment, and my heart breaks with every step I take away from the man who has somehow come to mean everything to me.
The man who holds my heart.