Chapter Eighteen
Could this meeting go on any longer? Armi tried to concentrate, and for the most part he was able to keep up. The first hour had been the team congratulating themselves on the signings and Coach Jackson laying out the groundwork for the team’s upcoming season. They faced a tough first half, but with the addition of the two new players, their chances to make the playoffs were better than ever, barring any injuries.
Russell brought up the next slide of the scouting report. “Jason, you want to give us the rundown?”
“Sure thing. Division I schools, we have eyes on several kids.”
The stats were overwhelming, and his mind wandered to the weekend and the dinner with Hayden. He hoped it hadn’t backfired on him. Bringing Hayden to one of the best restaurants in the world was meant to show him appreciation for everything he’d done. He’d stepped into the job as seamlessly as if he’d been there longer than Armi.
But was it too much? Did it showcase the differences between them and make him feel less than? Armi’s lips tingled as he recalled the kiss in the back of the car. God, he could still feel the rush of heat searing through him. More than anything, he wished he’d had the nerve to follow Hayden to his apartment and make love to him.
He rubbed his eyes. Make love? Where had that come from?
“Armand? Armand, are you listening?” Russell’s voice broke into his reminiscing.
“Sorry. I-I—”
“Never mind. What do you think?” Russell knew he hadn’t been paying attention, but Armi had read the notes Hayden had sent.
“I think we need to think of the future, and with our quarterback approaching thirty-five, it’s good we’re looking at that position. Plus, I’d like to beef up our special teams.” Eight sets of eyes stared at him. “What? Is something wrong?”
With a smile on his lips, Coach Jackson nodded. “Damn good thoughts, Armand. I was telling Russell that your father’s one weakness was not paying enough attention to special teams.”
Obviously, Coach Jackson hadn’t ever had the pleasure of being berated by Randolph Winters, who enjoyed finding faults and pointing out inadequacies. That was saved for his only child.
“How about our Division III players and the other schools? Any kids you’ve spotted with potential?”
One of the scouts raised his hand. “I’ve been covering the Southern schools for the past few weeks, and from what I’ve seen, there are some diamonds in the rough.”
“Seniors?” Russell asked. “Any other teams show interest?”
“Both seniors. And no other teams that I’ve seen, but you never know. Not like we’re broadcasting doing this. One’s in Georgia and the other in Alabama. My suggestion is for someone else to go see them practice and play this coming weekend for a second look.”
Russell tapped some notes on his tablet. “I’ll go. Armand will come with me.”
“I will?”
“Randolph and I would often take trips to check on scouts’ picks. I think it would be good for you.”
Maybe a change of scenery would be best. It would take away the temptation of wanting Hayden so badly, he might do something stupid. Like show up at his apartment.
“Fine.”
“Good. I’ll make the arrangements.”
Armi checked his watch. “I have a meeting with Out in Sports in less than five minutes. I have to go. Thanks, everyone.”
Hating that he didn’t have much prep time, Armi hustled to his office but stopped dead. A tall man stood over Hayden’s desk but it was Hayden’s face that concerned him. He was as pale and stiff as a store mannequin. Armi quickened his steps.
“Everything all right?” He passed by the man to stand next to Hayden, who didn’t move. The stranger met his gaze.
“Mr. Winters? I’m Shane Daniels from Out in Sports . Nice to meet you.”
“Y-yes, you too. Would you excuse us a moment? Have a seat in my office, please. I’ll be right in.” He pointed Daniels to a chair at the conference table and closed the door behind him. “Hayden, what’s wrong? You look sick. Are you okay?”
Hayden wet his lips. “I’m fine.”
“Did that man say anything to you?”
“Daniels?” Hayden’s jaw worked. “No. Nothing. We barely spoke.”
But for the first time, Hayden couldn’t meet his eyes, and Armi was certain he wasn’t telling the truth.
“Did he say anything inappropriate? I won’t talk to him if he did.”
“No. He didn’t do anything. Forget about it, please? You’d better go inside.”
“Are you sure?” He wanted so badly to touch Hayden’s face and soothe his obvious fear, but they were out in the open, so he curled his fingers into his palms.
“Yeah. I’m gonna go to lunch. Is that all right?”
He’d wanted Hayden to sit in with him, but instinct told him that wouldn’t be a good idea. “Of course. Go ahead.”
Hayden took his phone and strode away but turned and retraced his steps. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to sit in?”
“No. It’s fine. You’ve been all alone here at the desk the whole morning, and you deserve a break.”
“I’m sorry,” Hayden whispered and left.
Armi stood outside his door for a second, then opened it. Shane Daniels was on his phone and looked up when Armi entered. “Hello again.”
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Please feel free to have something to eat.” He’d called in for sandwiches and salads.
“Your assistant won’t be joining us?” Daniels asked as he filled a plate.
Armi took the seat opposite Daniels at the table. He was a big man, well-muscled and broad in the shoulders, in his early fifties. Thick blond hair turning silver at the temples. A strong nose accompanied an angular jaw and thin lips. Harsh lines scored his face. A hint of a hard life played in his pale-blue eyes.
“No. Hayden’s at lunch. So, what would you like to talk about?”
Daniels finished chewing and steepled his fingers under his chin. “How did you meet Hayden?”
Armi’s eyes narrowed. “What does that have to do with the interview?”
Daniels waited a few beats. “Nothing. You’re correct. Let’s start. How has it been, as the only out gay owner of a professional football team? Do you feel people treat you differently?”
“Because I’m gay? I’m not so sure that’s the reason. More than likely, it’s because I’m not a sports fanatic, and I was never involved much with the team.”
“I see. But you do feel different?”
“I think people aren’t sure how to treat me. But it hasn’t been all negative. My organization doesn’t discriminate in who we hire—that would make me pretty damn hypocritical, don’t you think?”
“Well, people do things without realizing the consequences.”
“My team—my inner circle—has been nothing but supportive. Yes, there’s been a learning curve, but that’s only natural. I have excellent support.”
“From whom?” Daniels’s eyes were on his tablet as he took notes.
“Russell Anders, Jacob Whitmore, Troy Geiger, and of course Coach Jackson and his staff. We’ve all been working well together.”
“And no one’s had any problems with your sexuality? No jokes or comments?”
“I think you’re hoping that something nefarious is going on, but I can assure you it isn’t. Are people homophobic? Of course. But the point I’m making is that here in the Kings organization, I haven’t come across that problem.”
Daniels finished typing and met his eyes. “Not even because of your assistant?”
His heart swooped and fell. Had someone seen them together at dinner? Or maybe kissing in front of Hayden’s apartment building? Heart thumping, Armi gathered his wits.
“Hayden’s been a valuable member of my team and nothing but helpful to me. Anyone’s sexuality is none of my concern.”
Shane Daniels regarded him thoughtfully, and then an enigmatic smile tipped up the corner of his mouth. “I agree. Do you think you’ll be staying with the team long-term?”
“Yes. I will.”
“It’s been rumored that you and your father had a contentious relationship and he never planned to make you the team owner. Did he accept you? Or were you at odds because you’re gay? What’s true?”
One-two punch.
“I’m not sure what that has to do with me leading the team into the future.” His gaze was steady. “I’m not interested in dwelling on the past. Nothing good can come from that.”
“But has it put you in a bad place with the other members of the organization who may have had different ideas as to how to run the team?”
Three weeks ago, Armi might’ve stumbled his way through and given Daniels enough ammunition to make him look the fool. Not today.
“We’re all dedicated to making the team the best it can be. Our scouts are all over the country, looking for superior talent, our coaches are the best in the game and future Hall of Famers, and we’re hungry for another Super Bowl for our fans. We have the best quarterback in Devlin Summers. The quickest tight end in Brody Martin. Now we’ve added Milo Masterson to our roster. New Yorkers expect us to be number one, to be winners, and we plan to give it to them.”
“Now for the personal side of the interview. Are you married, single, or dating anyone?”
“I’m single, and I’m not seeing anyone.”
“Do you want a relationship, and how do you think this new position might affect that?”
“I’m not averse to meeting someone, but they’d have to understand that this job is pretty all-encompassing. It doesn’t go away at six p.m.”
“Are you afraid someone might want to date you only because of who you are?”
Armi shrugged. “I suppose so, but I’ll never know if I don’t take a chance.”
“Could you ever see yourself dating a Kings player?”
“That would be a conflict of interest for me. You’d have to ask a player if they’d ever want to date an owner.”
“Thanks, Armand. This has been a very enlightening interview.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Armi opened the door, noticing Hayden wasn’t at his desk. He ushered Daniels to the elevator. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Daniels.”
“You as well.”
The elevator door opened, and Daniels stepped into the cab and was gone.
When Armi returned, he saw Hayden, head down, trudging to his desk. At his approach, Hayden put up his hand. “Please, can we talk later? Not now. But I need to tell you things.”
Confused, Armi cocked his head. “All right. Later.”
But that time never arose. He had to sit in on a conference call with the players’ union and then join Whitmore and Geiger on financials and new contract negotiations.
It was almost six by the time he escaped from the conference room, and he saw Hayden’s desk was empty. It was the first time since he’d started working that Hayden had left before him or before seven. Armi ran to his office, grabbed his stuff, and left. He called for a car to take him to Hayden’s apartment. The doorman rang and rang, but no one answered.
“I’m sorry, sir, but he’s not answering.”
“Armi? What’re you doing here?”
From the entrance, haunted eyes met his.
Armi decided the hell with keeping away. That was a stupid idea. “You wanted to talk, right?”
Hayden didn’t answer but also failed to tell him to leave, so Armi kept close to his heels as he walked inside. They didn’t speak until he sat opposite Hayden on the sectional sofa.
“Shane Daniels.”
“The interviewer from Out in Sports . That’s what this is about?” He wasn’t wrong. Those remarks about Hayden had been deliberate.
“I—there are things I haven’t told you. About me.”
Armi clasped his shaky hands. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Did…” Hayden licked his lips, all that self-assurance gone, his face pale. “Did Shane say anything about me?”
“No. Why would he?”
Their eyes met, and Armi’s heart pounded at the absolute defeat and misery in those brilliant green depths.
Hayden hung his head, his gaze on the floor. “When I was in college, I was on a webcam, having sex. I got paid for it. Daniels ran the website.”
Armi’s stomach tumbled. “Why?”
“Money,” Hayden whispered. “My parents were on the verge of losing their house—my father’s company went bankrupt, and he lost his pension. Starting over at his age wasn’t easy—they’d rather hire people right out of school and pay them less. Now he works at a big-box store and has a weekend job at the mall.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been really hard on your whole family.”
“Any job I could get wouldn’t make a dent in my expenses. I couldn’t let them sacrifice their entire savings for my college tuition…” He jumped up from the couch, crossed the room, and stood staring out the window. A solitary figure Armi longed to hug. There he sat with all the money in the world, impotent to do anything.
“So you found another way.”
“I told them it was an acting gig I auditioned for. At first it was only me in front of the camera…jerking off or using toys…just stuff to get people to pay. I earned enough to make up for whatever the loans didn’t cover and then some.” He shrugged, his face flaming red. “I didn’t think I’d have to have sex with anyone, but Shane told me I’d get paid triple if I had sex on camera.”
“I’m so sorry.” He had no idea what else to say.
“I did it once and hated it, but the money was so good.” He covered his face. “The next time, the police raided the place where Shane had us perform. They caught us in the act, with the cameras going. I was seventeen, so even though I’d signed a contract, it was void, as I was underage. The college kicked me out, and Shane went to jail because he was selling videos of me on the Internet.” His voice caught, and all Armi could think of was Hayden trapped, forced to do something he didn’t want to, but not seeing a way out.
“What a bastard. I’m livid I did the interview with him.”
“My parents were called. It was the worst night of my life, having to tell them what I’d done. It was the only time I ever saw my father cry. I let them down in the worst way. After everything they’d done for me, all I did was disappoint them.”
“I’m sure they understood why it happened. It wasn’t your fault.”
“They said they did, but I know how badly I hurt them. I never returned to school. I would’ve been the first in my family to graduate from college, but I was too ashamed to apply and have to explain why I’d gotten expelled. I got odd jobs, took online courses in office management, marketing, human resources…finally got that college degree. I left home for my first job in the city with a law firm—I was a temp filling in for the partner’s personal assistant who was out on maternity leave. They kept me on when she returned, and then I met Janice Butler, who took a liking to me. She was dating one of the partners and told me if I worked with her headhunting firm, she’d hook me up with top businesspeople—New York’s elite. I told her everything about my past, and she said it’s hard to find someone who’s gotten far in life without suffering some kind of adversity. My first PA job was with an international banker, but he moved to Europe and I didn’t want to leave the country. My second was with the head of one of the largest hedge funds in the country. He went to jail.” A slight twitch of his lips. “Then I went to Boris.”
“Janice sounds like a smart woman.”
Surprising him, Hayden returned to the couch to sit by his side. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know because I was so ashamed.” He shook his head and made a fist on his knee. “I hate that you had to find out. I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
There wasn’t a chance in hell he could ever think less of Hayden. But to know that his cocky confidence had all been an illusion and that for years he’d walked a tightrope of doubt and fear, that hurt. And it hurt more that Hayden could think he’d be the one to push him off, toppling him to the ground.
“I couldn’t, Hayden. I don’t. You’re an amazing PA. I couldn’t survive in the office without you.” Armi decided to hell with keeping secrets. “But you’re so much more than someone who works for me. I care about you. You’re my friend.”
“I was afraid you were going to fire me.”
“For telling me the truth? Never. You’re not going anywhere.”