Chapter Nineteen
It was out. At last. The secret he’d carried, chewing him to pieces like a parasite living inside him, had been exposed, and he remained standing. And employed. Hayden allowed himself to breathe and finally looked Armi in the face.
“Thank you.”
“Did you really think I’d fire you? I think you’re so brave for telling me. Thank you for giving me your trust.”
An indefinable yearning filled him, and Hayden wrapped his arms around himself. “I didn’t know what to think. I was so busy being scared someone would find out.”
“Like your friend Janice said, there isn’t a person in the world who hasn’t made mistakes or done something they never wanted anyone else to find out.”
Hayden snorted. “What have you ever done that was so terrible?”
“I should’ve tried harder with my father and insisted on working with him. Maybe he might not’ve died being so disappointed in me. And I shouldn’t have tried to change who I was and hope people would be my friend. Because it didn’t work. No matter what I did, people still didn’t like me.”
Hearing Armi’s confession crushed Hayden’s soul. “No. That’s impossible. You can only go so far and try so hard. You’re beautiful, inside and out, and you shouldn’t have to twist yourself into knots trying to prove it to people. If they can’t see it for themselves, they’re not worth your time.” It hadn’t occurred to him that Armi was trying to prove his father wrong, which only made it sadder, knowing it was a battle he could never win.
“So are you, Hayden. I hope you realize it. You have so much light inside you to give. Don’t let anyone dim it by bringing up what’s no longer important.”
In their short time together, Hayden had learned that Armi’s eyes reflected his emotions, and the yearning in their blue depths was unmistakable. It matched his own. He wanted Armi, and it would be so easy to lean in and kiss him, merge their breath and bodies and fall into each other to wipe away their collective pain. His heart pounded, and every cell in his body screamed for him to do it. Take and claim what he knew he could get. But he resisted, despite how his blood burned. Nothing had changed. Armi was his boss and a friend. Sleeping with him would ruin the bond they’d forged, and Hayden refused to do anything to jeopardize it because once it ended, he’d have to leave.
And he didn’t think he could bear that.
“Thank you for caring so much and for coming by.” He moved from the couch to the kitchen, putting space between them, and while it didn’t lessen his desire, it was safer. Disappointment flashed in Armi’s eyes, and he nodded.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He got to his feet and headed to the door.
“How did the scouting meeting go?”
Hand on the doorknob, Armi stopped. “Fine. Russell and I are going to head down south this weekend to watch some of the prospects play.” Armi opened the door. “Night.”
“Bye.” He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, listening to the footsteps on the opposite side fade away. Damn, he hated doing the right thing.
**
Hayden had tons to do in the week before Armi left for his road trip—and he was glad for it. It kept his mind off Armi and Russell being away together for a whole weekend. It nagged at him because he suspected Russell of orchestrating something that would somehow get Armi into his bed.
Not that there’d been any overt signs of Russell’s intent, but Hayden was laser-fucking-focused on everything Russell Anders did when it came to Armi. Like the frequent touches, innocuous to all but someone who’d spent time watching and noticing he didn’t do it with anyone else. That canny bastard was after Armi.
The thought made him sick to his stomach.
“Not your goddamned business,” he muttered to himself. “You’re not a couple.”
“Hayden? What’s wrong?” Armi approached his desk, face screwed up with concern. His tie lay askew, and there was a suspicious stain on his shirt that might be butter from the bagel he’d eaten that morning. God, he was cute.
“Nothing.” He smoothed his face into neutrality. “Just made a typo and had to correct it.”
Armi smiled. “You’re such a perfectionist. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Can you get us some waters, please? Russell and I have a few last-minute details to go over. He should be here any minute.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Half an hour passed, and Russell hadn’t shown. Armi stepped out of his office. “Still nothing?”
“No. I’ll call Lucy.”
He buzzed her line, but she didn’t pick up either. More curious than concerned, he left his station to check with Josh at the front.
“Did you see Mr. Anders or Lucy around by any chance?”
“Yes. They went to lunch about noon.” Josh glanced at the computer screen. “Oh, wow. That’s not like him to take a three-hour lunch. I hope nothing happened.”
“Thanks.” He returned to the office and knocked on Armi’s door. “No one’s seen him or Lucy since noon.”
Armi’s brows shot up, and he grabbed his phone. “That doesn’t make sense. I’m going to call him on his cell.” He waited. “Hello, who’s this?…Lucy? What’s going on? Where’s Russell?”
Hayden stood waiting, unable to hear the other side of the conversation.
“Shit. Is he going to be okay?… Ugh , that’s awful. I’m glad you were with him. Make sure he gets set up okay at home and tell him not to worry about anything… Yeah. I know, but we can do it another time… Six weeks? Ouch. Well, it’s not his concern. I can handle it myself… Yes, let me know how it works out.”
He ended the call. “Russell broke his ankle. His knee buckled stepping off the curb after getting out of his car. They’re at the hospital. He needs a screw and will be in a cast and on crutches for six weeks.”
“Damn, that’s rough.” Hayden didn’t like the guy, but he didn’t want to see him hurt.
“Yeah. And we have that trip planned for the whole weekend.”
“Are you going to cancel it?”
“Not sure.” Armi drummed his fingers on the desk. His phone rang. “Hold on, it’s Thomas, the scout. Hi. Did you hear about Russell? Yeah… You think? I’m not sure… That’s not the issue… I’ll let you know.” He ended the call and stared at his desk for a second. “Tom thinks I should go and see the players for myself, since this was all my idea.” His face was a combination of fear and insecurity, but Hayden could see something else too. A spark in those eyes that wasn’t there when Hayden first started working for him.
“I think that’s a smart move. This idea is your baby, so you should get to see the kids you want to help. They’ll appreciate the owner of an NFL team coming to see them play.”
“You think?”
Hayden smiled. “I know.”
Armi narrowed his eyes. “I want you to come.”
“Me?” Hayden laughed. “In case you don’t remember, I know less about football than anyone here. Including you.”
“You might not know football, but you know me,” Armi responded quietly. “I need someone I can trust. Plus, with your attention to detail, you’ll pick up and record everything Tom says that I might miss or forget. You have good people instincts that I don’t. Please?”
A trip to watch college football games in Georgia and Alabama wasn’t high on Hayden’s list of things he’d wanted to do that weekend, but then again, he had no other plans. And spending the weekend with Armi was a perk he hadn’t anticipated.
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
Like a kid, Armi bounced in his seat. “Great. Our plane leaves at seven. Better go home and start packing. I’ll pick you up at four thirty. Traffic’s gonna be a bitch out of the city.”
“Yes, sir.” In a better mood than he’d been in since he’d seen Shane, Hayden threw Armi a salute on his way out.
“Very funny. And Hayden?”
He stopped in the doorway and pivoted to face Armi.
“Thanks.”
“Not a problem.”
He finished the open tasks on his computer, saved all the documents, and shut it down. Any information he’d need from the scouting reports had already been downloaded to his and Armi’s saved files. He decided to splurge on a cab, and once at home, tossed T-shirts and shorts into a carry-on. His travel toiletry bag was still intact from a work trip to Cancun the year before, and he tucked it inside the zippered pocket. On that trip, he’d slipped out after Boris had gone to sleep for the night and partied at the clubs in the hotel zone. He’d gotten no sleep, but it had been worth it.
Funny, but he had no desire to see what clubs were around the hotels where he and Armi would be staying. Armi hadn’t even told him what cities—Russell had made the reservations. It wasn’t a party trip. He was there for Armi.
As Armi had predicted, the traffic was nightmarish, and it took over an hour to get to Teterboro and on the team’s private jet. The flight to Alabama was quick and uneventful, and a car waited for them at the airport to take them to their hotel.
“Montgomery is a pretty city,” Hayden remarked, looking out the window.
“Good thing y’all got reservations. Coupla big conventions this weekend means there ain’t a room to be found from here to Mobile.”
“Yes, I’ve got the confirmation number right here.” Armi pulled it up on his phone as the car slid to a stop and dropped them off at the hotel. At the front desk, Hayden waited to the side while Armi checked in, but joined him when he saw them in a deep discussion.
“I’m sorry, sir, but that’s what the reservation says. One deluxe room with a king-sized bed. All our suites were booked by the convention.”
“But…but that’s impossible. There must be some mistake. Check again, please. Either under Russell Anders or Armand Winters.”
“Yes, sir.”
Hayden sidled closer. “What’s wrong?”
“They say Russell only reserved one room for the two of us. That can’t be true.”
Sure it can. Just like I suspected.
“Let them check. Maybe it’s under another name? Like the Brooklyn Kings?”
The clerk shook his head. “No. Nothing. Just that one room. And we’re completely sold out.”
“We heard it’s a busy weekend.”
The clerk’s face shone with sweat. “Yes. It’s a madhouse. I’m sorry, sir. If something pops up, I’ll let y’all know.” He paused. “Two keys, gentlemen?”
Armi nodded and took the envelope with the key card. “I’m sorry,” he said as they walked to the elevators. “We’ll work it out. Maybe there’s a pull-out sofa.”
But when they opened the door, there was only one king-sized bed with a club chair in the corner and a reading lamp hanging over it. Hayden shut the door behind him and wheeled his suitcase to the opposite side of the room.
“I’ll take the chair. I don’t mind.”
“No,” Armi stated with emphasis. “That’s not right. I will.”
“Armi, I can’t have you sleeping in a cramped chair.” Hayden eyed the bed. “There’s plenty of room, don’t worry. I’m sure we can keep our hands off each other.”
Cheeks an adorable shade of pink, Armi ducked his head. “Okay, but I really don’t mind the chair.”
“But I would mind.”
They unpacked, and he changed while Armi sat looking on his phone, although Hayden did catch him taking a couple of sneak peeks. “The reviews say that the hotel restaurant is pretty good. Unless you want to go out.”
“Maybe tomorrow night. It’s been a pretty hectic day. I could just go for a quiet night. A drink and a meal here sounds fine to me.”
“I agree. I’ll just change.” Armi picked up his shorts and T-shirt, standing awkwardly for a moment.
Hayden grinned and held up his hands. “I promise not to peek.”
Armi rolled his eyes. “I think that ship has sailed.” But he changed as quickly as he could. “Ready?”
“Yep.” Hayden followed him, and as they had to wait ten minutes for a table, they got a drink at the bar. “So tell me,” he asked Armi, “what are you looking for tomorrow?”
Before answering, Armi drank some of his beer. “Honestly, I’m not sure. That’s what Tom is here for—to point out what we’re looking for and how they’ll fit with the future of the team. You’re right in that I should know what it is I’m directing the scouts to do. If I’m going to do this, I have to learn from the field up.”
“Why do you still keep saying if?” Hayden frowned. “You’re doing a great job from my point of view.”
“Which might be a little biased?” Armi teased, and Hayden liked him this way. Relaxed and comfortable in his skin.
“No, I don’t think I am. On my first day, you were hesitant and tentative, almost afraid to give an opinion. In the past few weeks, you’ve given multiple interviews, gotten one of the top running backs to sign with the team, and now here you are, at a scouting.”
“None of which I could’ve done if I didn’t have your support.” Armi finished his beer and signaled for another. He caught Hayden’s eye. “It’s the weekend, and we’re away from the office. I’m entitled.”
Grinning, Hayden held up his hands. “Hey, I’m not saying anything. Go for it. You deserve it.”
“And so do you.” Armi called over the bartender. “Bring him another, please.”
When Hayden received his Tito’s and soda, Armi held up his bottle. “To a great weekend. May we accomplish everything we need and want.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
But Hayden knew that wasn’t going to be the case. He wanted Armi. He needed to hold him, but that wasn’t going to happen. They’d agreed to be friends and nothing more.
Anything else would be a very bad idea.