Chapter Twenty
As they ate, Armi feigned interest in his grilled fish but studied Hayden instead. After revealing his startling secret, Hayden had continued his exemplary work as if nothing had happened. Almost. But Armi, who was used to spotting the tiniest beginnings of disease in his plants, noticed what most people wouldn’t—occasionally Hayden would stare off into space, or his fingers would tremble when he held the phone or took notes. Hayden could pretend he wasn’t affected by the revelations of his past, but Armi knew better because he now knew Hayden. There was so much hurt from the supposed damage to his parents, and so much anxiety, years of always looking over his shoulder and wondering if that would be the day his secret was exposed.
There had to be some way to convince him that it didn’t matter, that his mistake wasn’t an unforgivable sin. Armi had always wondered what was behind the shadows waiting in his eyes. And now that he knew, he couldn’t rest until they’d been erased.
“Something wrong with your meal?” Hayden pointed to his plate.
“No, just thinking of something.” He took a forkful and chewed.
“I’m thinking of something too. Like why the hell Russell would pull shit like that.”
Armi swallowed. “I hadn’t said anything before, but he’s been giving me strange vibes for months.”
“Strange vibes meaning what?” Hayden set his fork down.
Armi shrugged. “Sometimes he’d say things that made me wonder if he was interested in me…or he’d get in my personal space. Initially I brushed it off because, I mean, it’s Russell. I never would’ve suspected him of trying to use sex to influence me to run the team his way, but now with this room mix-up…I guess it makes more sense."
Hayden snorted. “Come on. You guess?” His eyes darkened. “He was going to use this weekend to get to you.”
Armi choked and grabbed the water glass. “What the hell does that mean?”
Hayden laid his fork on the table and leaned in close. “You know.” The flickering candle between them failed to hide Hayden’s serious expression. “Russell was going to try and sleep with you.”
It hurt more than it angered him that another person in his life he’d looked up to had only pretended to care. He should’ve listened to his gut. He’d suspected something was off about Russell’s eagerness to help guide him.
Hayden continued. “Don’t you see? Once you and he are together, he’d use his influence to get the team to do what he wanted. Maybe he’d even talk you into making him the CEO.”
With each word Hayden spoke, Armi grew angrier. His appetite gone, he threw down his napkin. “So that’s what you think of me? That I’m some damn patsy who’s so desperate to have a man in my bed, I’d roll over for him because he pays attention to me?” He left Hayden speechless at the table and found the server. “Put the tab on my room, please. I have to leave.” Without looking back, he walked away.
His eyes burned as he entered the room and tossed his key aside. Nothing would ever change. Here he’d thought he and Hayden were friends, and yet Hayden thought he was a stupid, desperate fool who’d do anything to have someone care. The saddest thing? It was Hayden he had those feelings for, not Russell or anyone else.
“Screw it. I’m taking a shower and going to bed.”
He kicked off his sneakers and pulled his shirt off, when the lock clicked and Hayden walked in. They stared at each other in the semidarkness. Armi waited to speak because he was too hurt.
“I’m sorry, Armi.”
Armi lifted his chin. “Don’t apologize if that’s how you feel.”
“I don’t think you’re a patsy or that you’d say yes just to have someone.” He sank onto the bed and hung his head. “I-I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you did. Why? It was hurtful.”
Hayden’s shoulders slumped, and he rubbed his face. “I—because I was jealous.”
Armi’s heart pounded so loudly, he could barely hear. “Of what?”
Finally Hayden met his eyes, and Armi’s breath caught at the combination of fear and lust glittering in those green depths. “That he would be with you and I couldn’t.”
“Who says so?”
Hayden shook his head. “We decided. Plus…” He shrugged.
“What? Plus what?”
Hayden huffed out a sigh. “You’re really gonna make me say it? For fuck’s sake, I was a cam boy, Armi. I was naked on camera for guys to jerk off to. I screwed online, shoved toys up my ass for people to get off.” He turned away. “I’m not the right guy for you.”
“Why?” Armi demanded.
“Are you kidding?” Hayden sputtered. “Imagine if—no, not if, when someone finds out because I’m sure they will, if we ever started seeing each other. You don’t need my name attached to yours and damaging the team’s reputation.”
“For something you did twenty years ago? That’s ridiculous. No one’s perfect.”
“This is beyond some stupid school prank.” Frustration poured off Hayden. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
Armi had always done the right thing. He’d tried to please his father, feigning interest in sports. He’d kept his sexuality quiet and stayed away, burying himself in his flowers, rather than have relationships. He tried to make his father love him.
And where had it gotten him? Nowhere. With no one by his side.
He was tired of being the outsider. The clumsy one. The nice one.
The plus one.
“The right thing would be following your heart.” He pulled Hayden up by his elbow and nuzzled into his neck.
Hayden shivered. “I can’t,” he whispered but swayed into him. “I lose control whenever you touch me.”
“Tough.” Armi bit his ear, and hearing Hayden moan, knowing he gave him pleasure, was the biggest fucking turn-on of his life. “Come on, Hayden. One step at a time. We have the whole weekend together. Do you really want to spend it talking football?”
“You don’t play fair,” Hayden mumbled, but he didn’t pull away and Armi cheered.
“Haven’t you heard? I play to win now.”
Hayden ran his hands up and down Armi’s body. “What happened to that mild-mannered man I met in the club?”
“He didn’t have anything in his life he wanted badly enough.” Armi cupped his jaw. “Now he does.”
Hayden’s forehead touched his, the tips of their noses brushing, and Armi wondered how he was able to stand with his bones melting. “Just the weekend, then. We can have that.”
It was impossible to argue because the moment this man touched him, all thoughts faded away and he became a quivering bundle of need. “Please,” he murmured. “Please.”
Hayden undressed him, fingers brushing the bare skin above the waistband of his shorts, and he stepped out of his clothes, now fully naked.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Hayden sank to his knees, and Armi cried out at the searing wet heat of Hayden’s mouth enveloping his cock. That velvety tongue was as wicked as Armi remembered, and he flung his head back as Hayden played with his balls but never stopped sucking him. His hips pumped wildly, and Hayden cupped his ass to slow him.
“God, Hayden, I can’t…” The beginnings of his orgasm tingled in his groin.
Hayden released him and sat on his heels. “You will. Come to bed with me.”
Hungry with desire, he watched as Hayden stripped, revealing all those beautiful tattoos. Hayden stood before him, his dick hard and huge, lust blazing from his eyes. “Like what you see?” His hand trailed past his pecs and flat abs to grip his shaft, and he began to pump.
Armi panted as his body throbbed, empty and needy. “Fuck me. All I’ve thought about every night since the last time was you inside me.”
Hayden’s eyes widened. “Yeah? That’s funny.” Hayden pushed him to the bed, caging him under those muscular arms, and Armi nearly swooned. Hayden traced the pout of his lips with his tongue, hot breath gusting along Armi’s cheek. “You’ve fucking ruined me for anyone else. I haven’t thought about anyone but you since we’ve been together.”
Knowing Hayden hadn’t been with another man stunned him. “I-I didn’t know.”
“Me either.” Hayden brushed his lips to Armi’s. “But now that I do…” He covered Armi’s mouth and plunged his tongue between his lips.
“ Mmm ,” Armi hummed with pleasure as they sucked and teased and played. Their rigid cocks brushed together, adding to the electricity playing havoc within him. Hayden transferred his kisses to Armi’s neck and ear, sucking and biting until Armi writhed under his touch and moans poured from his lips.
“You like that?” Hayden nipped at his lobe, then licked a wet path from the curve of his neck to the tips of his aching nipples. “And that?”
“Yessss, God,” he groaned, and Hayden’s lips brushed his.
“You’re so gorgeous when you’re turned-on, baby.”
Armi’s dick pulsed out precome at Hayden’s words, and he grasped himself. “Fuck me already.”
“Uh-uh. We have a whole weekend, and I’m not rushing anything.” Hayden put two fingers to Armi’s lips. “Suck,” he demanded.
Armi snaked his tongue around them, shivering at Hayden’s knee between his thighs, pushing him open. Hayden’s fingers breached his hole and Armi panted, digging his heels in, trying to take in more of him.
“Not enough. Need everything.”
“I know, baby. Just gotta get you ready for me.” Hayden kissed him over and over as his fingers moved. “Can’t wait to get in you.” When he withdrew, Armi cried out.
“No.” He was aching and empty again.
“Just a minute. Gotta get the stuff.” He scrambled off the bed, returning a minute later with condoms and lube. With avid eyes, Armi watched him prepare, wondering when he’d become so desperate and greedy for sex.
Hayden teased his rim for a moment with the head of his dick, watching him. “I could do this all night.”
Armi glared. “You’re not funny— ahhh .”
Hayden thrust up and in him, and all thoughts fled but how to stay like this forever. Stuffed full of Hayden. Hayden began to move, his dick dragging in and out, creating a friction so intense, stars exploded behind his eyes, and Armi grabbed his own aching cock.
“You’re sucking me in so deep, I might not be able to leave.” Hayden leaned down to kiss his gasping mouth, his words heated, voice smoky with desire. “And I don’t want to.”
Armi moaned. “Don’t. Don’t ever stop.” His ankles locked behind Hayden, and tremors racked him head to toe as his climax ripped through him.
“I can’t.” Hayden’s movements became harder, hips snapping, thrusts penetrating, and Armi knew he’d never been alive before Hayden touched him. “Fuck, you’re everything.”
Armi’s world narrowed to holding on to Hayden’s sweat-slicked shoulders, Hayden’s dick pulsing as hot come spilled into the condom. A sense of completion, of belonging, swept over him with Hayden lying on top of him, lips nuzzling his hair.
“Are you all right?” Hayden whispered, and he nodded, still overwhelmed. “You’re so special. Do you know that?”
He lifted a shoulder, and Hayden rose. “You don’t believe me?”
Armi winced as Hayden slipped from him. He hated the emptiness filling the space where Hayden had been. “It’s not you. It’s me.” He rolled away, but Hayden, who’d left the bed to get rid of the condom, returned to him.
“What do you mean?”
Grateful the dim room hid his blush, Armi cast his gaze to the pillow. “I’ve never felt special. I’ve never been enough for anyone—definitely not my father. My mother loves me, and though we’ve gotten closer, I’m not sure she thinks I have the strength to do the job.”
“To hell with the job. I’m talking about this.” Hayden drew a finger along his cheek, and Armi’s breath stopped. “Yeah. You feel it, and so do I. But you do the same for me.”
A faint smile touched Armi’s lips. “You’re saying it, but I don’t believe it.”
“You think it’s always like this?” Hayden’s fingers continued their teasing, and despite being completely wrung out, Armi’s nerves leaped to life. “If you do, you’re dead wrong. Even now, when I can’t think of moving because you wrecked me, I want you again. Being inside you is the home I never had. Holding you is having my arms around the world.”
Afraid he would become too emotional, Armi trembled and turned away from Hayden.
Hayden sighed. “I’m sorry.”
He blinked hard to see through the hot tears. “Why? What for?”
“I said the wrong thing, didn’t I? Too much?”
“No, the exact opposite. You said everything right. I just have to figure out why me. The one no one’s ever been interested in before.”
“Maybe they didn’t look hard enough to see who you really are. Gorgeous, sweet, and so fucking sexy.” Hayden smoothed the hair from his face. “Their loss is my gain. You were so busy hiding in your flowers because they couldn’t hurt you by talking back. But you can have both. The roses and be the owner of the Kings.”
“And you?” he dared to ask.
Hayden’s smile threatened to overtake his face. “You’ve already got me. There’s no other place I’d rather be than next to you.”