Chapter 4
Hudson
Every full moon, at the cycle’s peak, I made an offering.
My tastes in magic had become rather broad over the years.
If I encountered something I hadn’t studied before, I absolutely had to get my hands on the source material.
Witches, however, weren’t any more original than the rest of humanity.
Most varieties of spell casting shared roots with the rest, and those roots were a variation of something older and often more involved.
Aleister Crowley’s journals delved deep into magic that was—a different sort of energy, let’s say. The man was eccentric even by a witch’s standards, but when sixteen-year-old Hudson learned that he could combine two of his favorite pastimes for a little extra oomph, well, there was no stopping me.
And so, with several candles lit and a mantra of my own design on my lips, I lay sprawled out on my childhood bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Bare-chested, I teased one of the barbels in my nipples as I reached into my sleep pants and took hold of my cock—already hard as fuck thanks to the knowledge that Tyler Hargraves was in the room just two doors down the hall.
“The door is open… the tangles cut…”
Stroking myself gently, in place of the old memories that used to fuel my jerk off sessions, I let the night’s events fill my mind.
Those plush lips and the way they quirked up when I scolded Tyler for staring, imagining what they’d feel like if they replaced my hand.
The way his pants bulged right before he noticed me noticing him.
“The path unbroken…”
My pace quickened, my thoughts leaping straight to what I really wanted from Tyler.
Pulling my knees up, I dug my heels into the mattress, pretending I was making room.
Thinking of him moving into my space, coaxing my legs apart to slip inside me.
Filling me up with that beautiful cock I’d only ever had the pleasure of having in my mouth.
“The way… unshut…”
And then a different moment entered my mind. Something I had actually felt just hours ago.
“Emery…” I whimpered, recalling the way his huge bulge had been pressed so tight against my ass. We’d never gone there, me and him, but I’d thought about it before. Lusted over what it might be like to let the wolf ravage me. Claim me and fuck me like an animal until I was the one howling.
I wasn’t an idiot. I knew Emery was in love with me.
I’d known since before I fell in love with Tyler.
The truth was that, at the time, Emery had frightened me.
He’d grown to learn impressive control over his curse, but it wasn’t always that way.
Em had gotten suspended more times than we could count growing up, usually for acting out in order to protect me from being picked on.
Always my hot-headed protector.
And when I left… I wasn’t sure Emery’s love for me was real. I wasn’t sure it came from a place I could justify claiming it as my own.
I really hadn’t known what to expect when I’d told him how to break his curse. I wanted that for him. A normal life. A normal someone to love. I had been terrified how far he might go, given the way I’d abandoned him, so I’d prepared to defend myself if need be.
When it had all come out, I’d told myself it would be okay. That I’d be okay with dying, so long as it was Emery. I could do that for him. I could set him free.
And all I had done was hurt him even more.
My hand had stilled. My cock had started to soften.
I squeezed the base, frustrated with my own brain for betraying my libido.
I’d been horny as fuck from the moment I had both Emery and Tyler chasing me down.
If Em hadn’t pissed me off at the club, I might’ve lived out my fantasy after all. And coming home to find Tyler waiting…
That asshole had somehow managed to shatter all the boundaries I’d set on my drive back to Felcove.
“Fuck!” I groaned, flopping back into my pillows. The oak headboard slammed against the wall, jostling my nightstand and sending one of my candles to the floor. “Shit, shit, shit!”
I leapt from the bed, yanking up my pants and chasing the thing as it rolled across the wooden floorboards.
Diving forward, I snatched the candle before it could disappear under the bed, putting out the flame with a sharp breath.
I dropped it back on my nightstand with a defeated sigh, not bothering to relight it.
Seemed like a lost cause anyway.
I was a mess. Fuck if I didn’t have every right to be.
The only parent I’d ever known was gone.
Magic I didn’t understand and had no way of preparing for was headed my way, along with responsibilities I knew I couldn’t handle.
I’d been back in Felcove for less than forty-eight hours and two people were already begging for my attention.
Two people I wanted to run from. Two people that I had deluded myself into believing for four years I was better off without. Deluded myself into believing I could forget them.
My best friends. The closest things I’d ever had to big brothers. Protectors. Bullies. One, the love of my life, and the other… maybe someone I could’ve loved if I hadn’t been so goddamn broken by the first.
A quiet sob bubbled out of me as I hunched over on the edge of the bed. I buried my face in my hands, angry at myself for letting it out. Frustrated that I couldn’t keep it together any longer.
I hadn’t cried once since I’d gotten the news that Grams had died. Jumped straight to shock, skipped to panic, and hopped right over sadness to embrace anger.
But grief is a sneaky bitch, apparently.
My palms were soaked with tears. I dropped to my side on the bed, hugging myself as I came apart. I couldn’t stop it. Holding everything back for days just seemed to have made it worse, and my entire body ached with every tremble.
I hated crying. I hated it so much. Grams had never been anything but kind and understanding, teaching me to embrace my emotions rather than fight them. It was disastrous for witches to fight their feelings. So much of our power was fueled by them.
But I knew the world was just waiting for me to show weakness. Waiting for its chance to strike. And I knew, at the end of it all, that I’d have to face it alone.
“Hudson?” My entire body froze, tingling as my bedroom door creaked open. “Are you—”
“I’m fine,” I croaked, leaping from the bed and quickly swiping my eyes.
Yeah, he’s gonna buy that.
The soft flicker of the two remaining candlelights in the room amplified the sadness in Tyler’s stare—along with those glorious muscles, covered by nothing but some old gray sweats of mine that were stretched to their limit around his sculpted thighs.
I smoothed my bedspread, refusing to meet his eyes. “Is it too cold? I can grab some spare blankets from Grams’ room.” I padded across the floor, brushing past him toward the hall.
“Hudson…” Tyler grabbed my arm, moving into my path. “You don’t have to—”
“Don’t, Ty,” I sighed, averting my eyes. I shrugged him off, stepping back. Fighting him. Fighting everything.
“Grams just died, Hudson,” he pressed softly, moving closer. “You’re allowed to be upset.”
“Please…” I whispered, refusing to look at him. I couldn’t look at him. Not Tyler. Not now. “Please, don’t, Tyler.”
For a moment, we just stood there. A sniffle filled the space between us, but I had no idea which one of us it came from. Suddenly, Tyler took my hand, squeezing gently. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, but… I am here, Hud. I’m right here.”
Weakly, I bobbed my head, still staring at the closet door. “Okay…”
Then Tyler Hargraves did the sweetest, most stupid and infuriating thing he could have possibly done in that moment.
He leaned in, placing one hand on my cheek. With his thumb, he wiped away a fallen tear. His lips pressed against my forehead, lingering, promising me something without words, and he pulled away.
But I couldn’t let him go.
My grip on his hand tightened. As terrified as I was of my own pain, and horrified at the thought of crying in front of him—right then, nothing scared me more than the thought of being alone.
“Hudson?”
I finally looked at him, finding hurt, confusion, and hope drifting amongst so many words left unspoken all those years apart, all fighting to make their way to the surface.
And I broke.
My eyes crashed shut, and the pain I’d let through before was nothing in comparison to the way I crumbled entirely as Tyler pulled me into his arms.
“There it is,” Tyler whispered into my hair as he held me tight, rocking gently on the spot. “I‘ve got you. Just let it out, baby boy.”
I did. I really, really did. Everything I’d been feeling, not just since Grams had passed, but for the last four years, came out in wails against Tyler’s chest. I was so far gone I didn’t even register the way he ushered me to the bed.
I couldn’t articulate the frustration and the joy I felt at the way he uttered that stupid pet name he hadn’t used since high school.
The first time he ever called me baby boy, it was a joke.
A tease coming from the lips of the junior quarterback, meant to rile an awkward, scrawny, outcast kid.
I didn’t know if he realized it never worked the way he’d first intended it.
Years later, it still had the same effect on me, making my insides thrum at the notion of being his.
All I had ever wanted was to be his. I used to live for it.
My world had crumbled when he went into high school the year before me, and we drifted apart.
With his family’s status and his earth-shattering good looks, Tyler instantly became king of the jocks.
There was no room for his nobody friend from the grade below that came from a family of weirdos.
Then our dynamic shifted entirely when I came out at fourteen. If you could call it that. I only told Emery and a handful of fair-weather friends, but news like that among teenagers moved like wildfire.