Epilogue
ALICE
A Month Later
The morning sun shines on my face as I step onto the porch with a hot cup of coffee. In the distance, I hear the steady hum of the excavator breaking ground on Sukie and Harlem’s home. I hired a realtor a month ago to look for a house. Sukie’s grandmother left this house and the land it sits on to her, and after she and Harlem got together, I intended to move out so they could start their lives together in the place Sukie loves the most. And though I share the same fond memories here, my heart knows this is where my daughter belongs. But then Sukie got wind—she proposed an idea she’d been mulling over for some time—asking how I felt about her and Harlem building a place facing the lake on the back side of the property. She expressed wanting us to remain close while having our own places. I’ll admit I was immediately on board with the idea. Sukie has been living with Harlem at the clubhouse for months, but soon enough, she will be within walking distance of my backyard.
Taking a sip of coffee, I close my eyes and relish the feel of the warm sun against my skin. I smile when an arm wraps around my waist, and the smell of cedar fills my senses.
“Mornin’, babe.”
“Good morning.” I tip my head back to find Nash’s lips turned up in a sexy grin. His long blond hair hangs wild around his shoulders, still a tangled mess from having my hands in it while his face was buried between my legs.
“What are ya daydreaming about?” Nash asks, his voice warm and inviting.
I look back at the sunrise, and a soft smile spreads across my lips. “I was lost in how genuinely happy I am right now and how much you contribute to that happiness.”
A playful glint sparkles in his eyes. “I’ll do anything to keep that beautiful smile on your face, baby,” he promises, his breath warm against my skin.
“Anything?” I tease back, my heart racing with hope and nervousness. For the past two days, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of asking Nash to move in with me, but each time the words form in my mind, they dissolve into uncertainty.
“Anything,” he affirms, his deep voice rumbling low against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
Gathering my courage, I finally blurt out the words, “Would you consider moving in with me?”
A smile spreads across his lips, brushing against the curve of my neck, and I take that as a hopeful sign—the warmth of his presence wrapping around me like a cozy blanket.
“Took you long enough to ask.” He chuckles, and I can’t help but feel a surge of relief mixed with elation at his response.
I thrust my elbow back into his rock-hard abdomen, and Nash chuckles. “I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you for two days.”
Nash takes the mug from my hand, sets it down on the railing, and then forces me to turn and face him. “In case you missed it, I’m crazy in love with you.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you too.”
“Good. Now kiss me so I can get goin’. I’m meetin’ my client in thirty minutes.”
Smiling, I bring my lips to his.
Fifteen minutes later, Nash is dressed and standing in the kitchen. He snags his cut off the back of the chair and slides it over his shoulders. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go to the doctor with you?”
I shake my head. “No. Don’t cancel on your clients. It’s not a big deal. Besides, Sukie said she’d tag along, and then we’ll meet the girls for lunch afterward.”
“All right, babe.” Nash grips my chin, laying another hard, wet kiss on me. “Call if you need me.”
After Nash leaves, I head to my bedroom to get ready. A few days ago, I bit the bullet and made an appointment with my doctor. I’ve not been feeling like myself lately. My mood swings have been all over the place, the hot flashes and night sweats have gotten out of hand, I’m having frequent headaches, and I haven’t had my period in months. I have noticed a change in my cycle over the past year, but I’m one of those people who avoid going to the doctor like the plague. Unfortunately, my symptoms recently have gotten to the point where I can no longer ignore them. I don’t feel like myself. Admittedly, I have been avoiding the doctor because I don’t want to hear them tell me what I think they will say, and that is, I’m going through ‘the change.’
“Mom!” Sukie yells from somewhere in the house.
“I’m back here!” I shout, and a minute later, Sukie walks into my bedroom as I’m slipping my sandals on.
“Give me a minute, babydoll. I’m almost ready.”
“No problem. We still have almost an hour before your appointment.”
I rush into the bathroom, pull my hair into a messy bun, and spritz perfume. “Yeah, but the sooner we get there, the sooner it will be over.”
“You act like you’re going in for a root canal. It’s a routine checkup.”
I poke my head out of the bathroom. “I already know what Dr. Collins is going to say. There is no point in going.”
Sukie lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’re not doing this again. You’re going. And menopause is perfectly natural.”
“I don’t like thinking of myself as old,” I grumble.
“It’s menopause, not the death penalty, for Christ’s sake,” Sukie mumbles under her breath, but I still hear it.
I walk out of the bathroom and eye my daughter. “I heard that.”
Sukie lifts a brow. “I meant for you to.”
“Aren’t you just full of sass this morning?” I tease while Sukie follows me down the hall and into the kitchen. I grab my purse from the table and look at her with mock irritation.
Sukie counters with a grin. “That’s because you’re being ridiculous.”
We headed out to the car and arrived at Doctor Collins’s office early, but since she had a cancellation before my arrival, she saw me immediately. She asked a dozen questions, drew blood, and made me pee in a cup.
That was ten minutes ago.
Now, Sukie and I are waiting for my test results.
“What the heck is taking so long,” I grumble, looking at my watch for the hundredth time.
“Mom. It’s only been a few minutes. You’re worse than a toddler when going to the doctor.”
I would argue, but Sukie’s right. Luckily, I don’t have to wait any longer because there is a soft knock on the exam room door before Dr. Collins joins us again.
“Sorry about the wait, Alice. I had one of the nurses double-check one of the tests I ordered for you.”
A wave of unease washes over me, my heart quickening as I contemplate the worst-case scenario. What if, after all this time obsessing over the prospect of menopause, I find out it’s something far worse? My mind races with possibilities that make my stomach churn. Yet, as I scrutinize Dr. Collins’s face for any sign of distress, I find nothing—her expression remains calm and composed, offering no hint of impending doom.
“Is everything okay?”
Sukie is on her feet in seconds as she stands beside me.
Dr. Collins smiles. “Everything is perfect. You’re completely healthy, Alice.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “So, am I going through menopause?”
Dr. Collins’s smile gets bigger. “Just the opposite, actually. Congratulations, Alice, you’re going to have a baby.”
“Excuse me!” Sukie practically squawks.
Meanwhile, I’m too stunned to form a coherent thought.
Dr. Collins’s smile drops as she looks at me with concern. “Alice, are you all right?”
“How in the world can I be pregnant?” I ask. “There is no way I can be pregnant. I’m supposed to be going through ‘the change,’ not having a baby.”
“Alice.” Doctor Collins’s face softens. “It’s perfectly normal nowadays for a woman in her forties to have a baby. In fact, you’d be surprised by how many of my patients wait until later in life to start a family, all for different yet valid reasons.”
Beside me, Sukie waves her hands. “Wait, wait, wait… my mom is pregnant? For real, pregnant?”
“Yes, Alice is pregnant,” Dr. Collins confirms. “I had the test run twice.” Then, she focuses her attention back on me. “If you’re okay with it, I’d like to do an ultrasound to determine how far along you are. You said earlier you hadn’t had a period in three months and that it had been irregular for longer. An ultrasound will give us a better idea of your due date.”
All I can do is look at the doctor as if she’s grown a second head and nod because this entire situation is surreal. At any moment, I’m going to wake up and learn that this was all a silly dream.
“Okay, Alice. Just lay back on the bed and lift your shirt for me,” Dr. Collins instructs gently. I settle onto the hard mattress, feeling the cool air brush against my skin as I raise my shirt.
The room fills with a low hum from the sonogram machine, creating a backdrop of anxious anticipation.
Dr. Collins rolls her chair closer. She squeezes a generous amount of the translucent goop onto my bare stomach, the cold gel sending a shiver through me. With a steady hand, she picks up the wand. She deftly glides it across my skin, applying gentle pressure and rolling it in sweeping motions.
As seconds tick by, unease creeps into my chest, each beat of my heart pounding louder than the last. If it weren’t for Sukie’s firm grip around my hand, grounding me in the moment, I’d likely spiral into panic.
The reality of this situation settles heavily on my shoulders. Having a baby was never part of my plan. To be utterly honest, the thought of raising another child at this stage of my life is daunting, and I feel a swell of apprehension wash over me.
What about Nash? I mean, we had a conversation. I asked him if he wanted kids. He knew where I stood on the subject, and our stance was the same. Nash loves children but does not express any desire to have any of his own.
How will he take the news?
Will having a baby be a deal breaker?
My wandering thoughts are interrupted when the baby’s heartbeat fills the room.
“Your baby’s heartbeat is strong.” Dr. Collins tilts the screen toward me, giving me my first look at my baby. “And I am happy to report that everything looks normal. Judging by the baby’s measurements, you are twelve weeks along. So, it looks like you’ll have a Christmas baby, Alice. I’m marking your due date for December twenty-fifth.”
“Holy crap,” Sukie murmurs under her breath, her eyes widening as she exchanges a glance with Dr. Collins. The moment feels charged with unspoken words, but my attention is consumed by the tiny figure on the screen— my baby. A swirl of emotions fills my mind, pushing aside my curiosity about their exchange.
“I’ll print you some pictures to keep,” Dr. Collins chirps. She glances over, her smile warm and reassuring. “Would you like to know the sex of the baby, or would you prefer to wait?”
“You can tell already?” I ask, my heart racing with a mix of excitement and disbelief. The thought of knowing my baby’s gender feels monumental, yet it also brings an unexpected weight.
Dr. Collins nods confidently, her eyes sparkling with the joy of sharing this moment. “Yes.”
“I… I want to wait,” I finally respond, my voice trembling slightly. It doesn’t feel right to unveil such precious news without Nash by my side. After all, I had once declared that I didn’t want any more children, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine experiencing this miracle at my age. Yet, as I gaze upon the tiny heartbeat flickering on the screen, a profound connection stirs within me. There’s a part of the man I love growing inside me.
Twenty minutes later, Sukie and I walk out of the doctor’s office, and I can’t help but notice the uncomfortable silence between us. I want to know what she’s thinking. Is she upset? Halfway through the parking lot, I turn toward Sukie.
“I just want you to know this is not something I planned. I never in a million years thought I’d get pregnant at my age.”
Sukie gives me a confused look. “Wait. Do you think I’m upset or something?”
“You’ve hardly said three words since the doctor told me I was pregnant. I know this must be awkward for you and all, but?—”
“I’m pregnant, too,” Sukie blurts out, covering her mouth and eyes wide like she can’t believe her words.
And now I’m the silent one.
I open and close my mouth, trying to figure out what the hell is happening.
Did she seriously say she’s pregnant too?
Sukie uncovers her mouth. “Harlem and I are having a baby. I was twelve weeks yesterday, and I’m due on Christmas Eve. We haven’t told anyone because I wanted to wait until I was out of my first trimester.” Her hand again covers her mouth like she’s trying to stop herself from saying anything else.
Sukie and I stare at each other in disbelief for a long moment before we burst into laughter.
“Holy freaking crap,” I say.
Soon, the laughter fades, and the sobs take over.
I pull Sukie in for a hug. “My baby is having a baby.”
“I’m going to be a big sister.” She hiccups.
“I thought you were upset,” I confess.
Sukie pulls away. “Of course not. Shocked, yes. Upset, no.”
“So, that was what the look you and Dr. Collins shared was about?”
Sukie nods. “Yes.”
I wipe the tears away from Sukie’s cheek. “We are a pair, aren’t we?”
“Looks that way.” She giggles. “How do you think Baja is going to react?”
“I’m not sure. A baby wasn’t a part of our plans.”
“Baja loves you, Mom. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
I give Sukie a weak smile. “I hope you’re right, sweetheart.”
Later that night, I sit in a chair beside the living room window, sipping tea while I wait for Nash to get home. He texted me thirty minutes ago and said he was closing shop and would be coming home soon.
I’ve been nervous since Sukie dropped me off after our lunch date with the girls. Sitting through lunch with Sage, Juniper, Ophelia, and Lily was torture, not spilling the beans. It didn’t feel right to say anything before I have a chance to tell Nash. Especially since I have no idea how he’s going to react. I know the girls will be thrilled when they find out, but I honestly don’t know what I will do if having this baby is something Nash doesn’t want.
The beam of a singular headlight flashes through the window as Nash brings his bike to a stop in the driveway beside my truck. I watch as he climbs off and walks up to the porch. Ozzy, sleeping on the back of the couch, jumps down and saunters over to the front door to greet his human.
As Nash walks inside, Ozzy winds his way through his legs, demanding attention. Doing as he’s told, Nash bends down and gives Ozzy a good rubdown. Straightening, Nash slips his cut off and hangs it on the hook by the door. I do my best to fix my face and appear normal, but Nash, who is intuitive, knows instantly something is off.
“What’s goin’ on, baby?”
As soon as the question is out of his mouth, I cry. In part because I’m nervous but mostly because my emotions are everywhere.
“Alice, what the fuck is goin’ on?” Nash is in front of me within seconds. He drops to one knee and cups my face. “Baby, talk to me? Did the doctor find something wrong?” Nash fires question after question, but all I can do is sob.
“Jesus Christ, baby. Say somethin’. I’m about to lose my shit. Are you sick?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not sick.”
Nash visibly relaxes. “Then why are you cryin’?”
“Because I have to tell you something, and I’m scared that when I tell you, you’ll be upset. And I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you,” I blubber.
“Lose me? Jesus fuck, Alice, what do you have to tell me?”
“I’m pregnant!” I blurt out.
Nash stares at me, unmoving, and I swear I see his lip twitch like he’s holding back a smile.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, babe, I heard you. Although I don’t know why you’d think you havin’ my baby is a problem.”
Now it’s my turn to stare. “You… you’re not mad?”
A huge grin spreads across Nash’s handsome face. “Fuck no, I’m not mad.”
“But we talked about kids. I told you I didn’t see any more in my future, and you agreed.”
“I lied,” Nash confesses without missing a beat.
“You lied?”
“Yeah, babe. You think I’d tell you I want nothin’ more than to have a family with you?” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t going to risk losin’ you. If I had told you the truth, you would have talked yourself into leavin’ me. You probably would have come up with some lame-ass speech about settin’ me free so I can find a woman who can give me kids or some shit.”
“Hey.” I narrow my eyes, but I can’t argue further. He’s right. I would have done precisely that.
Nash grips the back of my neck. “I can’t lose you, baby. And somethin’ you should know about me is I’m not above playin’ dirty to get what I want.”
I can’t help but stare at Nash in awe. “You’re insane. You’d give up any chance at having a family of your own to be with me?”
“In a fuckin’ heartbeat.”
Overwhelmed by emotions, I leap into Nash’s open arms. We linger in that moment, the world around us fading as time seems to stretch.
When we finally part, I gaze into his eyes. “We’re having a baby,” I breathe out, my voice barely above a whisper.
Nash’s face lights up. “Fuck yeah, we are!”
GET READY TO EMbrACE THE MAGIC OF A FALLEN RAVENS CHRISTMAS!
The moment we’ve all been waiting for is almost here.
Join the Fallen Ravens as Alice and Sukie prepare to welcome their bundles of holiday joy!
Fallen Ravens Christmas is coming this December 2025!