Chapter 31
Harper
Las Vegas, NV
Two weeks later
I was seriously doubting my judgement. After spending the last two weeks working nonstop to sort out the remaining tour dates, ship all the band’s kit home, and make sure the tour employees were taken care of, Wes had practically shoved me out of the office yesterday. Like I was insane for working still.
How I ended up in this diner in Vegas, I still wasn’t sure.
My dad had seen the news coverage on Noah’s overdose and reached out again to make sure I was okay. And somehow that conversation had ended up with me booking a flight to Vegas and sitting in a sticky booth in a sketchy neighborhood.
Alone.
Because unlike my previously MIA father, Xander hadn’t contacted me once. Not even after I’d texted him the flight information from London. Not even a thumbs up emoji. Just stone-cold silence. He’d rejected all my calls. Sent me to voicemail that I was sure he hadn’t bothered to listen to either. He hadn’t answered any of my texts. The day after Noah’s OD I walked into our bedroom to find his bags gone. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since that night.
God, I had so many regrets and should haves. It hurt my heart to categorize them all. But they pretty much started and ended with me telling Xander the second I had suspicions. I should’ve—
“Hey! There’s my darling girl!” my dad boomed from across the café.
And drawing every eye in the place which admittedly was only eight or so.
“Hey, Dad.” I gave him a wan smile as he came closer. But I didn’t stand. I wasn’t ready for a hug. There was still too much history between us for me to pretend that everything was fine.
“So are you hanging in there? Taking care of yourself?” he asked as he slid into his side of the booth. “’Cause from where I’m sitting you look a lot like I did when I crawled to my first GA meeting.”
“Nice.” I shook my head incredulously. “We haven’t seen each other in years and the first thing out of your mouth is that I look like hell? I don’t know why I even bothered.” I moved to push myself out of the booth when I caught the expression on my dad’s face.
Pained. He winced and held up his hands. “You’re right. Please don’t go. Can we start again?”
“For the twentieth time?” I sighed, then nodded as I traced patterns in the condensation on my Pepsi. “I guess.”
“I know it’s been an ongoing thing with me, but I swear this time is different. I’m different.”
“You said you joined Gamblers Anonymous? You’re getting help?”
Our waitress approached and did the whole song and dance with my dad—handing him a menu, taking his drink order—and the whole time I just stared at him. His skin was tanner than I’d remembered. He definitely had more wrinkles than the last time I’d seen him, but his eyes were clearer, his body leaner.
Maybe he was different.
And when I heard him order a Pepsi too, I knew he really was different. No bourbon. No jittery fingers constantly counting. He was calm. Clearheaded.
Who was this man?
Dad cleared his throat as the waitress left our booth and he picked up his menu. “Yeah, I joined GA. And it’s going good. Hard but good. I hit a pretty low point about a year ago—deadass broke, scrounging for change in my sofa cushions while an asshole pounded on the front door, when I came across your high school graduation photo instead of the quarters I thought would save my life. And I realized that was the last time I’d really seen you. My baby girl was almost thirty, and I hadn’t seen her in years. Because she didn’t want to see me. Because I was the kind of asshole who’d rather sit in some scummy room making bets he couldn’t afford than go to his daughter’s graduation.”
My eyes were wide as I watched tears roll down my father’s face. Watching this man who’d been my only parent unabashedly cry in this seedy café made tears well in my own eyes. I could hear the pure heartbreak in his voice. The regret.
This time was different.
“So after I had a conversation with my bookie that ended in an ER visit for me, I went straight to a GA meeting. And I’ve been going ever since.”
“Wow, Dad. I’m…that’s amazing. You said something about getting your one-year chip?”
“On Wednesday. We do pins in GA. It’s not exactly a good idea to give a gambler a chip, if you know what I mean.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I could see how that’d be problematic. But it sounds like you’re doing better. I’m glad.”
“Thanks. It means more than you know to hear that from you.”
The moment grew heavy and awkward with all the history between us, and everything unsaid. Not to mention the fact that it’d been years since I’d seen the man sitting across from me. It was so hard to just wash all that away.
I didn’t think I could wash it all away.
All this bubbled inside me as I held my menu in front of my face. I stared unseeingly at the options when all I really wanted to do was yell at this man. Why had it taken him ten years after I left his house for him to figure it out? Why couldn’t he have done that for me?
All those times I’d waited up and worried about him. The jobs I had to take to keep a roof over our heads. The money I had to hide from him. The times he’d stolen from me. The things I’d missed out on because he couldn’t be a fucking father.
So much resentment bubbled under the surface.
And then it burst at the worst time.
“So what’ll it be?” Our waitress returned and stood at the end of the booth.
“You know what? I can’t.” I slapped my menu I’d been hiding behind on the table as tears streamed down my face. “I thought I could do this, sit across from you and hear what you had to say, but it all feels like too little too late. You missed everything . Dances. Games. Graduations. And for what? Because you’re too fucking selfish to give a shit about anyone but yourself. I have a whole life you don’t know about because the only time you call is to ask for money. Never about me. Always with your fucking hand out.”
“I’ll just come back…” The waitress slowly backed away, her eyes wide.
“You know what? Don’t bother.” I reached into my purse, pulled out a twenty, and handed it out to her. “For our sodas. Keep the change. Don’t give him a fucking cent. Learn from my mistakes.”
Then I stomped out of the restaurant and didn’t look back.
But the sight of my Dad’s anguished expression haunted me the whole drive to my hotel.
I didn’t know what to do once I got to my room. I was filled with all this nervous anxiety. Pacing around the luxe suite Wes had paid for when he found out I was coming to Vegas, I thumbed through my phone.
I ached to call Xander, but he clearly didn’t want to hear from me. Probably ever again.
I had been really close with Noah, but there were so many issues there, not to mention the fact that he was in rehab in Minnesota and couldn’t accept calls.
Wes would answer, but I was pissed at him. Another man in my life who’d let me down time and again. With the surprise contract clause, not to mention signing Kelly to open for the tour in the first place, and then tying my hands with Noah, he’d dropped the ball so many times. He’d stood in my way to get my friend help all in the name of profits and status.
It had been beyond awkward at work lately too.
So in the end, I called the only person I knew I could.
“Hey, Ella?”
“Harper! I was just thinking about you. I take it you’ve seen your dad already?”
“Yeah, it didn’t go so good.”
Tears swam in my eyes as I listened to hear sweet, sympathetic voice. “Oh no. Did he fall off the gambling wagon? Is he betting again?”
“No, more like I yelled at him then ran out of the restaurant like a spoiled teenager. Do you think you guys could come here? Maybe make a girls’ weekend of it? I have a killer suite. I don’t really want to be alone right now.”
“Of course, Harper. I’ll call Shay and see if she’s available, but as far as I know she is. It might be hard to get her to leave Chase behind though. Those two are welded at the hip lately. Which is a really gross visual considering he’s my brother. I wish I hadn’t said that now.”
I laughed at her silliness which was a sweet relief.
“Would you mind if the guys came along? It’d be easier to convince Shay to come if she brought her husband. Plus, we can use the guys’ plane and be there in way less time than flying commercial.”
“I-I-I…” It felt petty to make her leave her partner behind. But I’d literally be the fifth wheel.
“What am I saying? I’m sorry. That was so insensitive. Of course we’ll leave the guys behind. And I’m pretty sure we can get their plane without them. It’s not like they’d refuse us. Anyway, I’ll call Shay and get her pried off my brother’s junk and I’ll let you know when we’ll be there. Sound good?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Ella. This means the world to me.”
“Hey, you’re family. Don’t forget it, okay? We’ll be there in a few hours. Please don’t do anything crazy in the meantime.”
“You mean like marrying a stranger like Shay did?”
“Hey, they’re the exception that proves the rule. But otherwise, Vegas marriages are a mistake. Believe me. In fact, maybe you should just stay in the room, watch tv, and order room service. I don’t trust any of those punks vacationing in Vegas around you right now. With your fragile mental state right now, all it would take is one attractive bad boy and a few drinks and then bam, you’d be Mrs. Needs-an-Annulment.”
I rolled my eyes at her silliness. “I’d like to think I have a little more self-control than that.”
“You’d think, but those Vegas fuck boys are wily. And obsessed with Elvis weddings for some reason. Trust me.”
“This is all sounding too on the nose for me. Is there something in your past you’ve failed to mention. Like a quickie Vegas marriage slash divorce?” But I was grinning as I said it because I so could imagine Ella doing something that impulsive.
Me on the other hand? I shuddered. Never.
Never ever.
“Hey what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
“Except for felonies and marriage certificates.”
There was a smile in her voice when she spoke again. “I guess I’ll have to tell you when I get there. I’ll text you! See you soon.”
I ended the call and grinned down at my phone. Suddenly I didn’t feel as jittery as I did before.
The cavalry was coming.