Chapter Eighteen
Leah
I took GJ’s words to heart and kept showing up at Reese’s dance classes.
It went from being something I cautiously enjoyed doing to my favorite part of the week, going to sometimes two or three classes.
It even made GJ going out of town for games easier because I had something that filled the void.
Even if I wanted to start freaking out and getting anxious about whether things actually were serious with me and GJ, there wasn’t the time.
I was going to take GJ at her word and believe that she was into me and I was the only girl in her life, and that was that.
It felt good. It felt like growing up.
After a morning class on a Saturday, Reese and I went out to get smoothies from a place nearby to catch up. We’d seen each other at dance classes, but hadn’t actually had the chance to be one-on-one and catch up.
The smoothie shop was unsurprisingly pretty quiet; most students were still rolling out of bed and recovering from last night’s parties at this hour.
A handful of students were working quietly on their laptops, the sounds of them typing and pop music playing quietly from the shop’s speaker filling the room.
“It’s been nice having you around so much,” Reese said and headed up to the counter after her name was called. She picked up her order with a smile, thanking the barista before walking back to me.
“Yeah, it’s been really nice. It feels good to get back into it and do something other than cheer. And with football season being over now, my schedule feels a little lighter.”
“I just can’t believe you have the time or energy. I’ve always known you were capable of finding hours in the day no one else had, but I’m legitimately impressed.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt that I like to stay as busy as I can. I don’t really know anything else.”
“Leah!” the barista called out, and I grabbed my smoothie from the counter.
“Thank you,” I said, and then followed Reese to a sunny spot in the corner of the shop. “It also turns out it’s really easy to make time for things you like to do once you just let yourself enjoy them.”
“I knew you’d come around eventually,” Reese sing-songed. “Dance isn’t evil. I’m sorry the influences you had growing up made you feel that way.”
“It kind of feels like a canon event.”
Reese snorted. “Fair enough.” She took a sip of her smoothie and leaned back into her chair. “Have you put much thought into what’s going to come next?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I responded, half-groaning. “It’s not even Christmas yet. There’s still time. Kind of.”
It was easy to pretend that approximately five months was a lifetime if I just didn’t think about it, but graduation was definitely looming. Having to pick classes for my last ever semester of college was really putting me on edge.
“Kind of?” Reese asked.
“I mean.” I bit my lip, not sure if it was really worth saying out loud.
“I don’t know. I guess it could be cool to maybe get involved with a dance studio or something after graduation.
I don’t know if I’d teach, and I definitely don’t have the skillset to work with teenagers or adults, but maybe like…
kids? A kids’ dance studio? Train to be a kids’ dance teacher?
” I shook my head. “It feels stupid. Like, I don’t know how I’d ever find a job like that. ”
Reese looked at me, her lips turned up in a smile. She didn’t say anything, but I could read her expression.
“Dance is supposed to be fun. I know, I know.”
“You don’t have to find a way to make it your career. You can just work for a studio as, like, a receptionist or something. Or volunteer for a studio, even. Or take adult classes for a while. Not everything has to be some big grand plan. It’s okay.”
“But isn’t that so scary? Like, I don’t have any plan at all in mind.”
“Leah—you are so incredibly smart and talented and driven. Our entire friend group admires you so much. You will be able to figure something out. And then if that first thing doesn’t work out, you’ll have about a million other things.
I’m not worried about you being able to find some source of decent income, but I am worried about your ability to actually have fun and enjoy life after graduation.
” Reese leaned forward in her seat and looked at me.
She was so gentle that her words felt like the equivalent of a hug rather than a lecture.
“Obviously, I’m not here to tell you what to do since I know we both hate that.
But it doesn’t hurt to start doing a little audit and figure out what makes you happy.
You’ve tried a million things. Now you get to find what you like and keep it around, and replace the stuff you don’t like. ”
I twisted my lips in thought, stirring my smoothie around with my straw. “I guess you’re right,” I said, even though there hadn’t been a single time in my life that I’d never had a plan. It felt a little bit like free-falling, and I wasn’t sure I liked the feeling.
But it probably was about time I learned how to relax.
I’d already started removing myself from the grip my family had on me; being the person in charge of my own schedule for once was a step further in the right direction.
Maybe at some point soon, I’d actually be fully in charge of my own life—living where I wanted with whomever I wanted.
Dating the person of my choosing. Working where I wanted to work and not wasting even a second looking at LSAT prep books.
Lightness filled my chest at the thought. Maybe the person I’d always wanted to be actually was there, and I actually could be her—I just had to grow up and demand it.
After saying goodbye to Reese, I cut across campus to where GJ said she was practicing today.
I’d only ever driven to the court before, and only ever in an annoyed rage because I had to pick Mags up, so I was surprised by how far off campus it actually was.
I followed walking directions that ducked me through trees and by the quiet, tucked-away lake the campus got its name from.
The weather out here was always changing, but today, it had settled on a temperature that almost felt warm.
And the sun, as usual, felt amazing—that was the one part I’d miss the most about Colorado.
Eventually, I found the court and GJ. To my surprise, Ellie was still with her, the two of them hard at work.
From a distance, I watched the two of them interact.
GJ was a surprisingly effective coach—I could see it in the gentle way she encouraged Ellie, while also pushing her to try harder.
She passed the ball to Ellie in motion and then talked Ellie through passing it back to her, going over and over again until it was just right.
Even though I could’ve watched them play forever, I knew my staring was going to border on creepy if I didn’t say something soon. I waited until they were in between plays to finally interrupt.
“Hey,” I said, trying to keep things casual so I didn’t accidentally tip off Ellie. I had no reason to believe she’d run to Mags and rat me and GJ out, but teammate loyalty ran deep.
GJ broke out into a smile. “Hey. Alright—I think we can call it.”
Ellie caught the pass from GJ easily, placing it under her foot so she could tighten her ponytail. “I’ll probably practice a little longer.”
“I mean, hell yeah. Do your thing.” GJ looked at me with an impressed shrug. “Ready to get out of here?”
“Yeah,” I said and looked between GJ and Ellie like I still wasn’t sure what to make of this.
GJ waved me off like she could read my mind. “Ellie’s cool.” She turned to Ellie, who was now dribbling the ball. “You know not to tell Mags about this?”
Ellie looked over at us, almost seeming annoyed that we were distracting her from shooting. “Why would Mags care?”
GJ gestured to Ellie as if to say See what I mean. “She keeps to herself. I don’t even think she knows you’re her sister—let’s go home,” she said, and I laughed. As we started walking back, GJ slipped my tote bag off my shoulder so she could carry it instead. “How was dance class?”
“It was really good. Reese has been absolutely kicking my ass, but in the best way. I leave feeling so refreshed and ugh. It’s just the best.” I inhaled and hugged myself to GJ’s arm. “Thanks for being the push I needed to go.”
“Hey, I won’t take the credit,” she said and kissed the top of my head.
It was nice for it to feel like just us—Mags and Gemma had taken the car off campus today to go shopping, so there was no chance they’d accidentally end up on the outdoor court to see GJ and me.
And we were so far off campus that the likelihood of anyone who’d actually care seeing us was low.
It made me want to just say fuck it and have GJ, not worrying at all about what my sister had to say.
But there was no need to rush it—GJ and I weren’t even officially dating yet.
And I liked where we were. I wasn’t necessarily anxious that putting a label on things would ruin everything, but I was nervous that Mags knowing the whole truth would put a damper on it.
And I didn’t want to risk ruining it. Not yet.
“It looks like things with Ellie are going well,” I said.
“Yeah, she’s a quick learner. She’s always played well from a technical standpoint, but I can see the improvement here and there.”
“Coach GJ Mitchell, reporting for duty.”
GJ chuckled. “Maybe I’ll worry about playing professionally first.”
I looked up at her as GJ laced our hands together, my heart fluttering. “I like the sound of that.”