Chapter Seven
Aspen
“Good morning, Aspen.” Haizley held the door open and waved to Archie and Johnny, who were outside by the road.
Johnny was my escort. Haizley felt I was ready to have sessions at her home rather than the clubhouse. But King wanted me to feel safe, so Johnny was my shadow.
I had to admit; it helped. Knowing someone was there looking out for me at a moment’s notice went a long way toward giving me the courage to leave the shelter of the clubhouse.
“Morning.”
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Not really.” I looked out the window. Could I tell Haizley everything? Could I unburden myself, adding it to the weight of hers? I wanted to talk to someone. About Banshee, about Pepper, my father. All of it.
“Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?”
I faced the woman who had been there for me from the moment I woke up in the hospital, alone.
“Everything I tell you is confidential, right?” I asked. I knew it was, but I guess I just needed to hear her say it out loud.
“That’s right. Everything you share—past, present and future— is strictly between us. Unless you have hurt a child in the past. I am mandated to report that.”
I shook her head. “I would never hurt a child.”
“I didn’t think you would. I am also mandated to report a crime you confess to planning in the future. What that means is, if you tell me you plan to rob a bank, or murder someone, I have to tell the sheriff.”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that.” I chewed my fingernails. “So, you won’t tell the club?”
“Has someone hurt you, Aspen?”
I nodded but didn’t elaborate. I’d been hurt so many times that I didn’t even know how to put it into words.
“Did Banshee do something?”
My eyes widened. “Oh no!” I quickly shook my head. “He would never.”
Haizley released a breath. “Okay, I just thought with the tension between you two last night...”
“That was my fault.” I stood and paced the room. My hands twisted together. “You won’t tell the club what I tell you, right?” I wanted to trust her. But my secrets were dangerous. I wasn’t special, just another battered wife. But my life wasn’t normal.
“No, Aspen. I won’t tell the club. Unless you ask me to and sign a waiver giving me permission, nothing you tell me will get back to the club.”
“Not even Gunner? I know you two are together now. Pillow talk is a thing between a biker and his old lady.” My mother knew everything that went on at the club. My father never kept secrets from her. I wondered if Banshee would be like that.
“No, Aspen. If the club hadn’t been involved, I wouldn’t have even revealed you were a patient. You are safe with me. You can tell me anything.”
Her eyes held compassion, not judgment. I wasn’t worried that she would judge me. But she might judge my family. Still, I needed to talk to someone. I needed to get this all off my chest.
So, I told her everything.
“My real name is Irene Elizabeth Cooper. My father is the former president of the Gods of Mayhem MC out of Athens, Texas. My brother Zeus is the president now. I am also married.”
I watched Haizley as I revealed my secret. Her expression gave nothing away, but I saw the surprise in her eyes.
“I have questions, Aspen. Or do you prefer Irene?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Irene is dead.”
“Why don’t you tell me everything before I ask any questions.”
“The Gods of Mayhem are allied with the Silver Shadows in Arkansas. My father wanted to secure the alliance through marriage. I was offered to Banshee.”
Haizley’s mouth opened a fraction before she slammed it shut.
“Ask,” I said, as I sat back down on her couch.
“Are you married to Banshee?”
“No, he turned my father down. Which doesn’t happen often. My father is a force. He’s built a name for himself in the underworld. One that people don’t easily cross.”
That day so long ago was monumental. Until Banshee, I had never heard of anyone telling my father no. Except my mother. I was disappointed he didn’t want me, but so proud of the way he stood up for me.
“Why did he say no?”
“He said he was too old for me. But he also said I shouldn’t be used as a pawn in politics.”
Haizley smiled. And I got it. Banshee was a man of honor.
“Aspen, I am going to be honest here. I don’t know much about MC life. What politics?”
I took a deep breath. This was where I shared things that weren’t as well-known to the civilians.
“A club isn’t much different from any other organization. There is a hierarchy, there are rules, and there are wars. To avoid wars, alliances are made.”
“Did you agree to this alliance?” she asked carefully.
“I did. When I was eight years old, my older sister went off to college. She never came home. To this day, we don’t know what happened to her.
But there was a club in New York. A club we were not aligned with.
My father believed that club had something to do with her disappearance.
He and my brother spent weeks in New York searching.
My father wanted to declare war on that club, but without any proof, there was nothing he could do.
“The Gods of Mayhem is not a large club. There is only one chapter, but they are well-known. But the other club had chapters all over. They had the power not just to destroy our club, but to decimate it. And us.”
I gave Haizley a few minutes to let my words sink in. I knew the moment they did because her eyes grew wide.
“I couldn’t let another club put my family at risk. So, I agreed to the marriage. I didn’t love my husband. I didn’t even know him. But I went into the marriage with an open mind, believing I could grow to love him. He had other ideas.”
I stood up again, pacing the room.
“The abuse started almost immediately. There wasn’t a day he was home that he didn’t find some reason to hurt me. Not always physically.”
“Emotionally and mentally,” Haizley guessed.
“Yes.”
“And you never told your parents?”
I shook my head. “No. Pepper said if I told them anything, that his club would take them out. And I believed him. The Death Dogs are an awful club. They don’t follow the rules the table has put in place.”
“The table?”
“In the underworld there is a table, a committee of sorts. A representative from every criminal organization. The Russian Bratva, the Irish Mob, the Italian Mafia, the Triad, etc. One of those representatives is the Biker Federation. Which has its own panel, and they choose one biker to represent it at the table. The president of the club in New York sits at the table. They always have. But my father once sat on the panel for the Federation. Now it’s my brother. ”
“And this panel, the Federation, couldn’t take the problem with the Death Dogs to the table?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Bikers handle their own shit. The only reason they sit at the table is to keep tabs on everyone else. Telling my family about what Pepper was doing would start a war. One I didn’t think my father would win.”
“So you left.”
“So I left.” I nodded. “They haven’t gone after my family. They know I didn’t go home. As long as my family never finds me, they are safe. And as long as my husband never finds me, I am safe.”
“That is a tough way to live, Aspen, always looking over your shoulder.”
I shrugged. It was how it had to be. I knew things that would get me killed. Things that would get Pepper killed. It was why he beat me so badly. I believe in my heart he tried to kill me. He was just too selfish to do it.
“How did you get away?”
I knew this question was coming. Kytten had asked me never to reveal it was the Nyght Nymphs who helped me.
“He’d beaten me so badly on our anniversary that I ended up in the hospital. While I was there, a doctor helped me get away. There are networks that help abused women. She was part of one. She helped me heal, and when I was ready, she helped me set up my shop here in Diamond Creek.”
“I am so sorry for everything you’ve gone through.
” There were tears in her eyes that I knew she would never shed.
Not in front of me, anyway. “I guess I thought all clubs were the same, aside from those who do illegal things and those who don’t.
Gunner told me being an old lady meant more than marriage. ”
“It does. I might be married to Pepper, but I was never his old lady. I don’t have a cut like you and the others wear.”
I was envious of the old ladies. What they had. How their men treated them. It was similar to my parents. I grew up listening to my mother tell me never to settle for anything less than complete devotion.
“I have known a lot of bikers in my life. I grew up with them. Gunner is one of the good ones. He might be gruff, and act like a caveman, but just know that man would kill for you. He would die for you too. My mother always told me never to settle for less than complete devotion. That’s what you have with Gunner. ”
“Thank you. This is all still so much to get used to.” She tilted her head and watched me. “What about Banshee?”
“What about him?” I asked, trying not to fidget in my seat.
“Does he know who you are?” I nodded, suddenly unable to look her in the eye. “But he hasn’t told the others?”
“I asked him not to.” Her smile was unnerving. Almost as if she’d learned a juicy little secret that she was dying to tell. “What?”
“Nothing.” She sat up straight, waving me away, but her smile remained. “If your safety could be guaranteed, would you consider divorce?”
“Divorce is not an option. Not in the club. Death is the only way out, and to be honest, if I thought it wouldn’t start a war, I would consider it.”
“Aspen,” Haizley gasped.
“Oh, I didn’t mean I’d actually do it. I meant I’d fake it. As long as my family thinks I’m alive, they won’t retaliate. If word got around that I had died, they would want retribution. I can’t have a war on my conscience. People die in wars.”
“We’ll figure something out. You can’t live the rest of your life this way.”
“Haizley, I told you this because I needed to talk to someone about it. I just needed someone to know.”
“You didn’t tell Banshee?”
“Not really. He asked me why I was here, and I never actually told him anything. He’s like my father.”
“Something tells me all the Silver Shadows are the same. They would all do everything they can to protect you.”
“They would. So would my family. But I can’t put them at risk. I need you to promise me you won’t tell them.”
“I promise. I will not tell anyone what you have told me. But I want you to consider talking to King.” I shook my head before she finished her sentence. “Aspen. Consider it. All I’m asking is that you think about it.”
“I have thought about it, Haizley. I’ve done nothing but think about it since I moved here and found out the club was here too. And then seeing Banshee and knowing he recognized me. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. But I stayed. I can’t draw attention to myself.”
“Okay. I think that’s enough for today. Let’s have some tea and talk about something less stressful before you go.”
I told myself to trust her. I had to trust someone, and she was less likely to blow up her career by exposing my secret. If Banshee, or worse, King, knew everything, there would be no stopping the war that would tear our world apart.