Chapter Eight
Aspen
Once I told Haizley everything—well, almost everything—it was as though a weight had been lifted. Someone knew my story. Banshee knew who I was, but ever since the night at the bar in town, he’d been keeping his distance.
I missed him.
He’d wanted me on the back of his bike. I wasn’t a civilian, like everyone believed. I knew what that meant. I knew how important it was.
So does he.
I walked through the backyard with Diesel, thinking about that night.
About how much I wanted to climb behind him and wrap my arms around his body and hold on.
It would have said something to his brothers, though.
They would have started asking questions I couldn’t answer.
As far as they knew, Banshee and I had just met.
And I was in therapy for having been raped.
What kind of girl jumped on the back of a man’s bike after being raped weeks before? I might not remember being raped, but I remembered waking up to find that man on top of me after getting out of the hospital.
It made sense that I would be wary of men, and I was… most men, anyway. When I first walked into the clubhouse after the second attack, it had been an odd contradiction. I’d grown up in a club. I knew bikers.
But seeing all those men in one place after what I’d just been through made me afraid of even speaking to a man. Seeing Banshee that first day had been a blessing and a curse.
He made me feel safe.
It was clear I would not have made the progress I did, had it not been for him. I certainly wouldn’t have Diesel.
But he knew who I was.
“Baby girl.” I jumped at the sound of his voice. I hadn’t heard him walk up behind me, and Diesel was no help. He loved Banshee; he knew he wasn’t a threat.
“I want you to stay home.”
Hearing him say the word home hit me somewhere deep. I hadn’t had a real home for five years. Not since I married Pepper.
“I’m going out with my friends. We’re just going to the diner for brunch. Nothing is going to happen.”
“That’s what we thought about going to the bar and look how that turned out.”
Okay, that was fair. We’d had to leave early after Haizley got into a fight with a woman she went to high school with, who was found murdered the next morning.
After my first session outside of the clubhouse, Haizley was arrested for that murder.
Chaos ensued after that; the deputy who arrested her was killed in the sheriff’s station by another deputy after he pulled a gun on Haizley.
Turned out he was Greg’s brother. The man who raped me had been doing it for years because his brother was cleaning up his mess.
Gunner’s sister showed up with Ellie’s niece, Danika. Ghost almost left the club, then Dante, Danika’s father, was taken by a man named Sinclair.
Everything had finally settled down, and the old ladies invited me to their brunch. I was going, dammit!
“Are you saying all that was my fault? Because that’s bullshit.
What happened in the bar, and the weeks after was all club shit.
Club shit I’m used to. Between Zeus, Hades, and Atlas and the shit they got into, what happened over the past few weeks was like a vacation.
Mimic’s birthday is coming up, and the girls asked me to help.
I need to feel normal again. And normal means going out with my friends. ”
He took a step closer. His hand reached up to cradle my cheek, and he rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. I didn’t dare move out of fear he would let me go again. Then he opened his mouth.
“I don’t like you swearing.”
“Well, tough shit,” I said, stepping back and crossing my arms over my chest. It was my only defense against what I was feeling. Banshee made me feel things, things I’d thought were gone.
“It’s not safe for you out there.”
“Why? I’ve lived here for two years and nothing happened until I went to the bar.”
“Exactly, you hid yourself away in your house and in your shop. The first fucking time you went out, that motherfucker attacked you.”
“So you are saying it’s my fault.” I turned around and tried to walk away. Banshee grabbed my arm and spun me back around to face him. My body tensed up, not in fear but anticipation. Diesel didn’t know the difference. He saw my body lock up and growled low in his throat.
“Calm down, Diesel,” Banshee commanded. But Diesel didn’t like being told to calm down any more than I did. He squeezed between us and bared his teeth at Banshee.
It was nice to know he would protect me from everyone. Even the man I wanted to give myself to. I crouched down and grabbed his head, turning him toward me.
“Good boy. I’m okay. Banshee’s just being a dick.”
“Baby girl.” I heard the warning in those words. I bit my lip as moisture flooded my panties. When I looked up at Banshee, he didn’t even try to hide his hard-on.
I stood up, keeping my hand on Diesel’s head. “I’m going. You made your choice seven years ago. I don’t belong to you. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
I turned on my heel and left.
Quickly.
If I’d stayed there any longer, I just might have let him tell me what to do. I might have surrendered and let him tell me exactly what to do.
I found Jack in the main room with Charlie. He’d offered to keep an eye on Diesel for me. Charlie was so happy to spend the afternoon taking care of my dog. She wanted to prove she could do it, hoping when their house was done she would get one of her own.
It was nice to be out, but Banshee’s warning kept running through my head. Maybe he was right. Every time I left the clubhouse, something bad happened. I was beginning to think I was cursed.
Especially when the little pink-haired pixie walked in the door.
“Kytten!” Ellie’s voice was excited as she waddled over to where Kytten stood. She grabbed her hand and dragged her to the table, while I tried to shrink down into my seat and not be noticed. They couldn’t know I knew her.
“Everyone, this is Kytten. I met her at Trudy’s. You’ll love her!”
Ellie turned and winked, and I wondered what secrets they were holding. Kytten’s eyes moved to me, and she shook her head with the smallest movement. I relaxed into my seat, knowing she wouldn’t say anything.
“Kytten?”
“Hello, Dr. Jefferson.”
My eyes flew to Melissa. Did she know her too?
“What are you doing here?” she asked Kytten. “Did you follow me to Diamond Creek?”
“Missy, what’s going on?” Haizley asked.
“I met Kytten in Vegas when I was traveling with Dani. She thought I was running from someone.” When Kytten cocked an eyebrow at Melissa, I knew there was more to the story. Turning to Haizley, she said, “She offered to help.”
“Have a seat, Kytten. That’s an interesting name,” Beck, Blade’s old lady, said.
Ellie cut in, “That’s her road name. She’s in an all-female club called the Nyght Nymphs.”
“You know Valhalla?” Amber asked. I looked at Amber. She’d shared her story with me, but like me, she never mentioned it was the Nyght Nymphs who’d helped her. I should have guessed.
“Wait, you know about the Nyght Nymphs?” Ellie asked.
“Yea. Val was the woman at the hospital in Louisiana,” Amber replied quietly.
“Kytten, have a seat.” Sam scooted her chair over, and Ellie grabbed another one and set it next to her. “What’s your real name, Kytten?”
“Rose.”
Sam gasped, and Kytten looked at her, her eyes wide. “That’s such a beautiful name.” She rubbed her belly. “We’re naming one of the twins Rose.”
“You’re having twins?” Kytten whispered.
“It’s okay.” Sam pulled Kytten’s hand over and placed it on her belly. She let us all feel the babies move. It was the most amazing thing, and I often wondered what it felt like from the inside.
“What are you naming the other one?”
“We can’t decide. We have a few months left, but Jack and I keep arguing about whether or not to give her a flower name, or something different.”
“Two girls,” Kytten whispered.
Ellie introduced the rest of us, and I acted like I was meeting her for the first time. I didn’t want anyone to know she was the reason I was here. That would bring up questions I couldn’t answer. Though I did catch Haizley looking at me a few times.
“Okay, we need to finalize everything for the party on Friday,” Beck began. Then, looking up at Kytten, she said, “Kytten, you should come.”
“Yes,” Sam agreed. “Friday is Mimic’s birthday. We’re throwing him a party.”
“His birthday?” she asked. “How... how old will he be?”
“Twenty-three.”
Her shoulders slumped, and I wondered why that made her sad.
The door opened, and the bell jingled. Six of the Silver Shadows entered the diner. Blade, Jack, Cash, Romeo, Zero... and Banshee.
“Don’t even think about it!” Beck hollered. “You know the rules, Micah.”
“Baby, I am just here to get breakfast with my brothers. We won’t even sit near you.”
“Bastard,” she coughed out the word, and Blade laughed.
“That was my dad, baby. Not me.” He winked, and the men sat at the other end of the diner. I ignored Banshee, trying not to even look at him. I failed. It wasn’t my fault. Our interaction earlier kept running through my head.
“I don’t know how you put up with him,” Ellie said with a smile.
“It’s all the orgasms,” Beck deadpanned.
Melissa choked on her mimosa, and we all laughed at Beck’s answer. We spent the next few hours planning the party and drinking mimosas. All except Beck, Ellie, and Sam, who were all pregnant.
I excused myself to the bathroom, and Kytten followed. As soon as the door closed, I turned on her.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed.
“I’m not here because of you. He doesn’t know where you are.” I ran my fingers through my hair and paced the small bathroom.
“You’re safe, Irene.”
“Don’t call me that! My name is Aspen. I will never be Irene again.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right,” she said. “I promise you’re safe here.”
“Valhalla said you never put two survivors in the same place. If I’m still safe, then you’re here because of someone else.”
“I can’t tell you why I’m here, but I promise you are safe.” I didn’t believe her. Then she asked, “How did you get involved in the club?”
I shook my head. It wasn’t something she needed to know. The door opened, and Melissa stepped in. “I’ll see you both back at the table.” I smiled at them both and rushed back out to where the others were.
Maybe Banshee was right. Maybe I should have stayed home. My mother used to tell me I was named after Irene, the goddess of peace. My life was anything but peaceful.
From the day I graduated college, my father had a plan to marry me off. He claimed he didn’t want to lose me the way he lost my sister.
And he didn’t.
He pushed me away. Gave me to a man who wanted nothing to do with me. Forced me into a life where I would never have children. Never have a family of my own no matter what I did.
We made it back to the clubhouse, and I went looking for Banshee. I could already hear him telling me I told you so, but I didn’t care. I wanted him.
Kytten hadn’t come back after she set me up here and left. She’d called a few times to check in with me. See how I was doing. But she never came back.
She said she wasn’t here for me, but I didn’t believe her. Then again, she could be here for Amber. Whatever her reason, seeing her here in Diamond Creek left me feeling scared and alone.
Banshee made me feel safe.