3. Julie
Julie
“Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest.” – P.C. Cast
“ J acob! Let me down you big duckling.” I smack his massive chest playfully. “Griff—” I’m about to introduce Jacob to Griffin but…he’s nowhere to be seen. “Where is he?” I furrow my eyebrows that my best friend is all too quick to smooth out.
“The only kind of wrinkles we need are the ones from smiling, not being upset,” he tells me and then looks around for what got me frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“This is strange. I was about to introduce you to my brother’s best friend. But one second, he’s here and the next he’s gone. Where did he go without saying a word?”
“Huh, was that the guy who stood here wearing a gray hoodie with a look on his face that said he wanted you in his bed?”
I gape at Jacob.
“Sweet rosemary, Jacob! He was not looking at me like that! We grew up together—well, sort of. Then he left after high school, along with Cal and Luke and hasn’t been back to LC since.”
Not to mention Griffin never looked at me like that. As his best friend’s little, weird sister? Sure, yes. A woman he could see in his bed? No.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I heard his voice, because there was no mistaking it, it was Griffin’s voice even though it sounded deeper and with a pinch of gravel to it, but it was him.
At first, I was confident I must be hallucinating, blaming the new batch of the mushroom coffee we got yesterday, but there was no mistaking him, even if he’s a whole lot different now.
Broader, tougher, with thick stubble bordering on short beard over his face.
The sleeves of his hoodie were drawn up, showcasing the forearms that proved he lived a lot to have them look like that.
They were the forearms of my dreams with some major arm-porn vibes.
What? I might be impartial to him now, but I’m not blind.
He’s all man now, not the boy I remember—loved—from long ago. And he’s back.
Here. In Loverly Cave.
“You know what? You’re right! It was more along the lines of: I’m a desert, you’re my water. I’m a lost puppy, you’re my new owner. I’m just a lowly peasant, you’re my wild and untamed queen.”
“Okaaay, buddy.” I pat his tattooed arm, breaking his speech. “Time to rein it in. You are getting a little carried away.” I whisper the last part slightly patronizing, but Jacob only grins in response.
Jacob isn’t a Loverly Cave native but a lucky stray who found us all on his own a few years back as a part of his tour across America but ended up never leaving. Partly because we wouldn’t let him.
I was picking the wildflowers over at the northern hill when Jacob came strutting out from near where the curvy road that leads into our town.
He had a huge backpack on his shoulders and that signature smile on his face.
His shorts were too short, and his shirt was covered in rubber ducks, but he looked like he didn’t care one bit what others might’ve thought of him or how bizarre or different he might be.
And right then and there I knew I’d met my person.
Not that kind of person though, and to the mighty dismay of many locals, he and I never dated or had the desire to start now. Jacob’s one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen, he smiles all the time, and his heart is made of pure gold, but he’s not the one for me and I’m not the one for him.
We figured it out that first time we met. But I love him like a brother and a best friend I’d never had. Jacob is the one I call if I need to let out some negative energy without hurting the universe.
But there is one thing my best friend doesn’t know about—and that’s my early obsession with Griffin Owling.
So he isn’t aware his words don’t have the desired effect because they can’t be further from the truth.
He doesn’t know that, despite me growing out of that silly crush, seeing Griffin just now has threatened my lies to shatter and my na?ve heart to come out of hibernation.
“Well, I guess I’ll introduce you some other time.” I shrug, but Griff’s sudden disappearance is boggling me a bit.
No, boggling is the wrong word. Worried. That’s more appropriate. Because despite being all man and big and imposing, something was missing. There was no spark in his brown eyes. The gold speckles were swallowed by the darkness around them.
And what he said…about not wanting people to see that he’s a screw up…
Don’t go there, Julie.
He’ll come around when he needs to.
Maybe I’ll bring him some plants in the meantime. Lavender! Yes, I’ll do that! Plants always make everything so much better.
“How did the work out go?” I ask, distracting myself.
“Invigorating.” Fanny Lovsil, the owner of Tough Love gym and one of the most loyal members of the Love Hive organization, answers instead of Jacob. “I do love to start my mornings by exercising my eyes.” She winks at my friend who always plays along with grandmas trying to go all cougar on him.
“Fanny, when are you finally going to relent and just say yes to me?” Jacob sighs theatrically.
“Psh, you might be a big boy, but I’m a lot of woman to love. You won’t be able to handle me.” She winks and saunters over to the counter for her usual order of tonic.
Jacob throws his arms up, calling after her. “There you go, breaking my fragile heart all over again.”
“This will never get old for you, will it?” I lift an eyebrow at my giant friend.
“Never,” he answers adamantly. “I’ll wear her down one of these days.”
“You are ridiculous.” I chuckle, smacking his chest. “Go, get in line for your fix.”
Jacob fake groans. “All these years, and I still don’t get preferential treatment here. What good is it being your best friend?”
“I have no idea. You are my first and only, and mind you, you came all by yourself.”
“Talk dirty to me, baby.” Jacob flashes us all with his twelve-year-old sense of humor.
“So ridiculous,” I holler, but there’s no mistaking the smile in my voice. There’s no one like this guy and I cannot wait for the day someone manages to steal his heart. The girl might get a monument for such achievement over here.
A few customers later Jacob appears in front of me again, holding out his card.
“Surprise me.” I take his payment and decide today he’ll have my new ruby chocolate matcha recipe infused with lavender.
The guy never orders the same two things in a row, and he always prefers for me to do it for him.
I don’t mind one bit since he serves as my tester more often than not.
“Are you coming out to bonfire tonight?” he asks, and I let out a small sigh.
“I wish, but I already have plans.”
“Is it an appointment with a proctologist?”
“What? No! I have a date.”
Jacob shrugs. “The level of your enthusiasm reached something along the lines of proctologist appointment.”
“I promise I want to go out. It’s just…does it have to be a car show in Santa Cruz?”
“ That’s where he’s taking you?” Jacob deadpans, a small furrow creasing his forehead. “Ew.”
“I know,” I whisper-shout. “But I promised I’ll give it a try after he did yoga with me.”
“Yeah, fine. I guess that’s fair,” Jacob relents, taking his drink from my outstretched hands and leans over to kiss my cheek. “Thanks, friend. Have fun tonight.”
“I’ll try my best,” I mutter, not feeling an ounce of excitement that I felt just last night when I agreed to it.
The morning rush has dwindled, leaving my employee, Lia, to serve whoever wanders in before lunch.
I slip to the back, pushing the old, wooden door that opened up to a beautiful—almost Mediterranean looking—stone staircase that leads to my apartment above the shop.
Naturally, I painted every step in different, vibrant colors.
My little place is all I’ve ever dreamed of.
It’s a small one bedroom with a tiny bathroom but has the quaintest kitchen with a floor to ceiling window that led to a tiny patio, overlooking the mighty ocean, stretching for miles and miles across the mountain shores more than makes up for it.
Plus, I’ve never needed much, it’s something Jacob and I have in common since he lives in an actual tiny house himself.
So, when the time came to remodeling, he helped me make this space very functional yet magical with all the hanging plants in every spare corner and shelves made of reclaimed wood.
After all, that was my promise to Mrs. Lovzel all those years ago.
One day, I hoped I’d have a house somewhere with lots of land around me to plant all the vegetables, fruits, and flowers my heart desired.
I’ve always imagined it as a place for a family.
One of my own, with a loving husband and wild untamed kids running around barefoot.
Only that dream seemed to be farther and farther away each day.
I prop the kitchen window open, letting some ocean air in as I take out a handmade cup—product of yours truly—and pour myself a dose of a new brew I’ve been trying out. I jump up onto my butcher block-style island that also serves as my dining room table and, more often than not, my chair.
I bring the rim of the cup to my lips and took a sip. Mm-hmm, this one is definitely a success , I think, staring out the window as a gentle ocean breeze washes over my face. It has a nice mint undertone I need to add to my menu.
Sip of Love is a dream come true, and ever since we opened a couple years ago, it’s consumed my life.
I wake up and go to sleep thinking of it, of how to decorate, where to source my ingredients.
How to make it the most eco-friendly. Which flowers I’d have on the tables every day.
It’s anything and everything from the tiniest of details and I love each one of them.
But that also means I don’t have much time left for those dreams of a family with a house on a big piece of land.
I sigh. Let’s be honest, even if I did have time…those dreams still don’t matter.