3. Julie #2
It’s not that I’ve never dated or liked someone else before. I have. I had a couple of boyfriends—and I did like them. I enjoyed my time with them. It was just…it was just what it wasn’t.
It wasn’t him . It never felt like it did with Griffin even if it was all in dreams. But how good could my relationships be if they can’t even live up to my childhood crush.
Some around town call me picky, some think I’m plain weird—but that’s nothing new there—however, I point blank refused to date anyone for the sake of dating. I despise the idea of marriage simply because your age number is growing and you need to settle down.
No, I’ve fought against it, time and time again and promised I’d never settle. I want magic. I want a connection like my parents have, like Nina and Sam Colson have. Like Willa—our local bar owner—and her late husband had.
I want to be madly in love with my one and only.
I want to float on a cloud when I’m around him.
Feel his heartbeat even when we’re miles and miles away.
To know when he’s hurt or bleeding or laughing so hard his stomach cramps.
I want to feel the fire igniting inside me with just one look.
Needing those butterflies to stir and flop around even when we’d be old and wrinkly.
That was until I turned thirty—two years ago—and felt all those missing pieces around me. I want to love and be loved. Hence why I’m sort of dating now.
And it’s going great. Really, it is. Despite my initial reluctance to give him a try, he’s been nothing but a true gentleman to me and I’ve been enjoying myself. But…
Oh no. No, no, no. There’s no but, Julie. There’s no heavenly “but” here.
Sweet rosemary…here I go again… But he isn’t Griffin . And now that I’ve taken one look at my childhood crush, my unrequited love, and burned dreams, those words flare with renewed vengeance.
There’s this tingling sensation waking up inside my stomach that I don’t very much like, and I know I should be willing it back into the memory box, but that same sensation I’m trying to get rid of is making my heart remember every second of our encounter.
I wanted to keep talking to him, to get to know this new Griffin. I have a million questions about his life and service but just like before, I didn’t have such privilege.
I thought it was all behind me. I thought I left it back there in Fifi’s shop when I was fifteen.
But one look at that charming smile where only one side of his mouth quirks up and a dimple pops up has me questioning all the sage and herbs I’ve burned for years in hopes to cleanse. That smile hasn’t changed one bit.
Neither has his scent.
When I climbed him like a wild monkey—totally involuntarily, might I add—I have no idea how that happened, I inhaled a whole lungful of him and if he wasn’t holding me, my knees would’ve buckled.
It was him.
All him.
Despite many years apart, I know this scent better than my own and it hasn’t change a bit. Woodsy. That’s how Griff has always smelled.
That’s what I smelled any time a wayward thought of him crossed my mind.
They are few and far between these days, but they still sneak up on me when I least expect it. But along with the good they also bring back the memories of that day.
I let it go a long time ago, but I still remember how much it hurt.
Sweet rosemary , did it ever. When I overheard him talking to Kimmy in Fifi’s store that day, but I’ve let it all go. I’ve let him go and have never asked another question again.
He was never the one for me and I told myself it was okay. He taught me a valuable lesson and, in a way, helped me turn into the person I am today.
A bit of my smiles were stolen that day, replaced by a rainy cloud, but with time I’ve learned to use the rain for my advantage.
It could water the seeds and from seeds came a new life, a new me.
One who isn’t as na?ve as she once had been, but someone who still hasn’t lost faith in this beautiful world.
Someone who still believes the love of her life is out there.
And maybe he’s the one I’m going to see a car show with tonight.
Now, wouldn’t that be quite a turn of event? I shake my head, amused by my current situation.
Life is certainly working itself out like Mom promised. Mine has just seemed to walk parallel to Griffin’s and I’ve accepted that fact many years ago.
Only today, when I saw him again…I almost forgot it all. I almost felt like that na?ve thirteen-year-old little girl with a silly crush who got butterflies in her stomach when her crush looked at her.
Because he did.
Griffin was looking at me like that . I didn’t want to admit it—or hope—when Jacob said it. But Griffin did look at me. Like I wasn’t his best friend’s little weird sister, but someone he didn’t recognize.
Sure, I’ve changed a bit, grew up, but haven’t we all? So why did he look so lost? And yes, I’ll settle on lost because all those other thoughts of mine can’t be trusted when it comes to my hopeless heart.
I take the last sip of the brew, watching as the waves rage across the blue waters, chasing something until they inevitably crush against the shore—or sharp cliffs—the sounds soothing to my suddenly bothered soul.
Don’t go there, Julie .
Please, don’t let your thoughts carry you into the sharp cliff.
Loving Griffin Owling is a tragedy I mourned for long enough. I don’t need it to turn into a sequel.
The soft chime of my phone pulls my thoughts away from wandering into wild forests. I reach it and swipe to answer. “Hey.”
“Hey, just calling to see how’re you doing today. Was the morning rush as crazy as usual?”
“Yeah, it was quite…busy.” I bite on my lower lip. I have a feeling I know why he’s calling—and it has something to do with all those eyewitnesses posting hot news on Love Hive.
“Are we still on for tonight or…” He trails off, trying to sound nonchalant, but I can hear the slight worry in his tone.
“We’re still on, Owen,” I answer and smile when I hear the barely audible sigh of relief.
“Okay. Good. I just wanted to make sure. You know…in case something changed.”
“Nope. I’ll be ready at five like we agreed.”
“See you in six hours, twenty-three minutes anddd five seconds.”
“See you, Owen.” I smile, hanging up.
Yep…that’s where my road has led me.
Into the arms of my childhood bully.
Love Hive:
Ninasunshine: Did you all see that today?
CookieJ: See what?
Ninasunshine: Wasn’t it magical?
CookieJ: Well, I wouldn’t know, now would I? Since you always see all the interesting stuff without me. I’ve been saying this for years…some friend you are.
Fforall: Hold your rainbow panties, Jenny. I’m just as lost as you are and if one Miss Nosy-without-calling-her-friends-over won’t fess up right this second, we will disown her.
Ninasunshine: You wouldn’t dare!
Fforall: Speak, woman!
Ninasunshine: Griffin Owling is back in town.
Cookiej: Um…honey, did you and Sam go to that hot yoga class again? You know it makes your head feel all funny afterward. We know Griffin is back, Izzy told us like three days ago, remember?
Willoflove: Not to worry, Nina, I’ll make you my special brew, it’ll bring you right back to life.
Ninasunshine: I’m not going senile yet. You just didn’t let me finish. Griffin Owling is back in town.
Cookiej: Oh, boy…it’s even worse than last time.
Now she’s repeating the same thing in the span of one minute.
Willa, can you get that brew ready now? Nina, hold on, don’t do anything!
Don’t even move, I’ll be there in a second.
God knows you don’t need a hip replacement before our naked and free rally.
Fforall: Good call, Jenny, I’m on my way too.
Ninasunshine: You all need help. I’m totally fine! Like I was saying, Griffin Owling is in town.
Ninasunshine: Hello? Can anyone hear me?
Ninasunshine: Where did you all go?
Ninasunshine: For Pete’s sake! I’m not losing it. Again. But since you all refuse to listen to part two, bring Izzy and Lily with you. It pertains to them as well.