Chapter 6
Chapter six
Barrett
Three days pass before we get the results of the paternity test. Freya had a person she knew at the testing center we went to in Boston who was able to fast-track the results. When she handed me the envelope, I immediately came to find Camryn and Syd.
To say things have been strained at the clubhouse would be an understatement.
I was hoping our trip to town a few days ago would have helped break the ice.
Those hopes were quickly dashed when Syd spent more time staring out the truck window rather than engaging in any sort of conversation with me, apart from her one-to-three-word answers.
And Camryn has actually been helpful, which is giving me pause.
I know that’s what I wanted, but going from hating me on sight to Camryn seeming to be Team Barrett is a bit of a mindfuck.
Though I’ve been appreciative of Camryn’s attempts to open conversations between me and Syd, it’s forced on her part.
And if I can tell, so can my daughter. But it’s better than the alternative, I suppose.
The girls have been coming by every day to hang with Syd and Camryn and trying to help them feel more comfortable around our family.
I would kiss them for the effort if their men wouldn’t fucking punch me in the face for it.
Lucy even invited them over to her house for a little mani-pedi day date.
They both came back to the clubhouse with painted nails and smiles on their faces, but then Syd retreated to her room like she has most times when I’ve been around.
And every time she does, Camryn gives me a sympathetic smile then follows her to their rooms. It’s been like having the quietest house guests imaginable.
Nothing like how I thought having a teenage girl would be.
I knock on Syd’s door, and when she calls for me to come in, she’s lying on her bed watching something on her phone.
“Cat videos?” I ask, nodding toward her device. Don’t people like those?
“Uh, no.”
Two words. About on par with our interactions so far. God, why is this so hard?
I take a chance and cross the threshold into Syd’s room and lean against the wall. “Oh. What are you watching then?”
“It’s just some videos of a band I like.” Syd sits up and crosses her legs on the bed.
Okay, this is progress.
“Oh yeah? What’s the name? Maybe I’ve heard of them.”
“Are you into the indie rock scene?”
“Uh, no. But I’m not opposed to expanding my horizons.”
“They’re called Velvet Static. I’ve been following them for about a year.” She cues up a video and turns the phone toward me.
I cross the few feet to her bed, and it feels as though I’m finally crossing the Grand Canyon, though I keep the triumphant smile to myself.
The video shows a guy with hair in his eyes and sleeves of black ink over his arms, screaming into the microphone then falling into a deep, melodic singing voice.
“He’s got some pipes,” I say, and she lets out a light giggle.
“That’s your way of saying you hate it.”
“It’s not exactly my kind of music,” I tell her.
“My aunt said pretty much the same thing. She’s a big country fan.”
That’s something about Camryn I didn’t know. Come to think of it, I don’t know much about her period.
“But Cece would probably love them,” I say
Sydney quirks her brow and shoots me a disbelieving look. “Cece? The lady who bakes pastries and is one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met?”
I chuckle. “Don’t let looks fool you, Syd.
That woman loves scream metal. She used to blare it through Jude and Lucy’s house when she would bake.
Drove him crazy.” I laugh at the memory of him complaining about it nearly every day.
“Actually, feel free to take over the speaker next time he’s around.
It’s always fun to watch him whine about it. ”
“You got it,” she replies and laughs again. Twice in one conversation. I could say I’m not ready to preen like a peacock over that fact, but I’m no liar. I do contain myself though, as hard as it may be.
“So I got the results from the paternity test,” I tell her.
“What did it say?”
“Pretty sure we know what it’s going to say, but I haven’t opened the results yet.
Figured me, you, and Camryn could do it together.
” I shrug like it’s no big deal. Honestly, it is, though.
The results make it official, and now we have to deal with everything that comes along with that.
Suddenly my hands are clammy, and I’m feeling a little tight in the chest. Two seconds ago, I was happy that I got Syd to smile.
Now I’m starting to feel a little hot and a hell of a lot…
nervous. That’s not something I’m used to feeling, and I can say with utmost certainty, I’m not a fan.
“She’s in her room. I think she had a phone call with her school or something,” Syd says. “I can go get her.”
Syd moves to get off her bed, but I hold up a hand. “I’ll grab her.”
I turn and leave the room, needing a minute to collect myself. Where the hell is this coming from? This is what I wanted. Proof that Sydney is really my daughter. But I can’t seem to get my heart rate to slow, no matter how many deep breaths I take.
Camryn’s door opens, and she steps out as I’m about to knock, looking at something on her phone.
“Oh, hey, I was just coming to find—” She looks up at me and must see the panicked expression on my face. Or maybe she notices the sweat gathering on my brow. “Are you okay?”
I let out a small cough and nod. “Yeah. Uh, we got the results from the test.”
“Okay…what does it say?” Her brows knit together as though she can’t understand why I’m acting like a fucking virgin on his wedding night.
“I haven’t looked yet. I was just in Syd’s room, and I got her to smile twice, and then she asked about the envelope.
” I hold the offending paper up between us.
“And I don’t know, I started feeling…” My hand taps my chest, which feels like it’s caving in on itself.
I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling.
I wanted this paper. I have no doubt what it’s going to say.
But fuck, it’s scaring the hell out of me right now.
Camryn’s eyes morph from questioning to almost sympathetic. But that can’t be right. Camryn doesn’t have an ounce of sympathy toward me. Never has. Sure, the last few days she’s been trying for the sake of Sydney, but we’re alone now. It doesn’t make sense for her to be nice to me.
“Come on,” she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me into her room. She pushes me to the bed, and I land on my ass with a thump on her mattress. The letter is still clutched in my sweaty hand, with Camryn standing in front of me. “Stay.”
“Um, inviting me into your room isn’t going to fix anything here, pup.”
Her nose scrunches up in disgust. “If you’re insinuating what I think you are, then you’re a pig.”
The small insult actually makes me feel a little better.
Camryn turns and goes into her bathroom, coming out with a glass of water, shoving it in front of my face. “Drink.”
I take the water and swallow several gulps, then breathe deeply.
“This is new,” I say.
“What?”
“Being shoved onto a bed to have someone force-feed me water.”
Camryn rolls her eyes. “I’m starting to regret trying to help,” she mumbles, taking the cup from my grip. “You looked like you were in the midst of a panic attack. Are you afraid of what the results are going to say?”
“I know what the results are going to say,” I reply.
She sits in the chair in the corner opposite the queen-size bed. “Then what was with the clammy sweating a second ago?”
I run my hand through my hair and shake my head.
“I don’t know. It just kind of hit me all at once.
This is it.” I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to admit what has me scared.
When I open this envelope, I’m really and truly responsible for the girl sitting in the room next door. And that changes…everything.
“If it’s too much for you—”
“It’s not,” I say with no room for argument in my tone. The last thing I need is Camryn starting in on the idea that she can take Sydney and leave. That’s not going to happen.
“Okay, then we should open it,” she says, eyeing me from the corner.
“I thought we could all open it together.”
A small smile plays on Camryn’s lips. “That’s actually thoughtful of you.”
“I can be thoughtful.”
Camryn lets out a derisive snort and stands from her chair. “Okay, Mr. Thoughtful and Sensitive, let’s go get Syd.”
“I didn’t say anything about sensitive. I said I can be thoughtful. Nothing about being sensitive.”
Camryn walks out of her room. “Sorry, I didn’t realize being called sensitive was such a…sensitive topic.” She laughs as she knocks on Syd’s door.
I stand and follow her. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?” I grumble. The more jabs we throw at each other, the less it feels like I can’t catch my breath. This is normal territory for us, and I strangely find an unexpected comfort in that.
Her response is a bright smile as she opens the door to Syd’s room.
“Hey, kiddo. What are you up to?” she asks, then walks in. When I follow, Sydney is sitting on her bed in the same position as when I left her.
“Waiting for you and Barrett,” she tells her aunt.
Camryn sits next to Sydney and puts a hand on her knee. “Nervous?”
“Not really. I think…I think I’m ready to know officially that my mom wasn’t lying.”
“She wasn’t, Syd. Not about this,” Camryn confirms, then looks at me. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
I nod and rip the envelope open. My heart beats hard in my chest as I read the paper, but as soon as I see the paternity results, it slows to an even pace.
“I’m your father.”
Syd and I stare at each other. Am I supposed to hug her? Would she want me to hug her? This is the first day she and I have really talked, just the two of us. Would that be too soon for physical affection? Is she the hugging type?