Chapter 11 #2
Jude doesn’t give a shit, but he breaks the kiss and whispers something in Lucy’s ear, then gives her a meaningful look.
“Yup. Gotta go,” she says, and I roll my eyes while Jude stands tall with a proud look on his face. Whatever he said did the trick, and I have no desire to ever know what that was.
Camryn laughs and stands from the chair she was relaxing in to walk everyone to the door. The girls give her and Syd hugs as they walk out.
Knox is the last one inside. “I’ll come back for Mia’s car tomorrow.
” He looks around the house. “It’s nice being here.
Seeing a family in this old house again.
” He smiles at Camryn and Syd. “Thanks for having us,” he says and heads out the door to Mia waiting beside his bike with her helmet in hand.
Camryn closes the door and smiles, blowing out a long breath, then looks at Syd. “You should probably get ready for bed, too, kiddo. You have school in the morning, if you want to go.”
Sydney looks at Camryn and nods. “I’m not letting those bitches win, Aunt Cam. Screw them.”
Camryn barks out a laugh. “That’s my girl,” she says, and Syd gives her a hug.
Then my daughter turns to me and wraps her arms around my middle. “Night,” she says.
I bend a bit, kissing the top of her head. “Night, kiddo.”
Camryn and I watch Syd retreat to her room.
“Wow, two hugs in one day. That’s a lot for her,” she says and leans against the wall, pinning me with her gaze. “You guys have come such a long way, Barrett. I had no right to say those things to you today.”
“Yeah, today was rough.” I turn and walk back into the living room, grabbing the takeout containers and carrying them into the kitchen.
We need to have this conversation; I know it.
But I also really like having time with my friends when it doesn’t feel like Camryn and I are about to go off on each other at any moment.
Especially after today. I don’t know, part of me is afraid to break this tenuous bubble of peace between us.
“Barrett, can we talk about this, please?” Camryn says as I walk back into the living room. “I need you to understand how sorry I am and not brush it off. I said some really awful things, and you didn’t deserve them.”
I sit on the couch and blow out a breath as Camryn comes to sit next to me, turning her body toward me.
“I said some things I wish I could take back too, pup. Felt things I wish I didn’t anymore.”
Her gaze turns contemplative. “Like what?” she asks.
“Like you think you can run everyone’s life because of your last name. Like you think I’m trash because that’s how you used to see me.”
“No. Barrett, no.” Camryn leans toward me and puts her hand on my knee.
“I was a stupid kid who was pissed at the world. My sister had a way of sucking me in, making me think she wanted a relationship with me, when really, she just needed an alibi. I fell for it every time. That day at the lake when I knew she was going to ditch me again…I took it out on you. But I never thought you were trash. And my father was always making her take me along. Home was…not great.”
“Sami told me a little bit, but she never went into specifics.”
“My mom had these ‘episodes,’ and she’d want everyone out of the house.
At least that’s how my father put it. So Samantha and I would be forced out together.
Even when we were home, my mother was never in her right mind, and she deferred to my father for everything.
We didn’t really have anyone raising us, honestly.
No dinners together unless we were putting on a show for his business associates.
No breakfast before school or anything like that. ”
My lips turn up at the corners. “No living room dance parties?”
Camryn barks out a laugh. “Definitely none of those.” She shakes her head, but her hand stays pressed against my knee. “I really like your family. They’re good for Syd. A little crazy, but aren’t we all?” She laughs again.
“They’re your family too now, you know. Yours and Syd’s. Family is what’s most important in our world, Cam. You and Syd are mine.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. For so long, it was just me and her mom. I guess I’m having a hard time letting someone else take the reins. I knew if I ever challenged Sam’s parenting, she would cut me off from Syd. So I kept my mouth shut.”
“You keeping your mouth shut isn’t something I’ve ever experienced.
” Cam rolls her eyes, and I smile. “Look, I could have handled that better at the club. You were only looking out for Syd, and I’ll admit it probably didn’t look good that I took her to the strip club.
Honestly, I didn’t think anything of it.
It was closed, and she was in the office.
I swear, if we were open, I never would have brought her.
In my mind, it’s the same as any other business we own, but I can understand how you would feel about it. ”
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I liked having her touch me.
Probably a little too much. But when she laughs and her body relaxes like it is now, I find it hard to care about the reasons kissing her is probably a bad idea.
In fact, right now, I don’t have any thoughts other than what that smile she’s wearing would feel like pressed against my lips.
“You’re a good dad, Barrett. And you made the right choice when you went to get her. She needs to know that you’ll be there for her when she needs you. And honestly, so do I. Today proved it.”
“You know I would never take her away from you, right?” I ask.
Camryn’s eyes water and she looks away for a moment. “But you could. After today, I don’t know if I would blame you. Syd heard us yelling, and I’m afraid she won’t give you the chance you deserve if you have me breathing down your neck.”
My hand cups the side of her cheek, hating the pain I see in her eyes. I turn her face toward me, and she doesn’t fight it.
“I would never do that. And don’t think for a second that you not being around would be what’s better for Syd. She needs you, Camryn. She trusts you, and so do I. I need you.”
Camryn looks at me with tears still in her eyes, but there’s something else there, too.
Something I’m not sure she means to show me, but her defenses are down, and fuck, I think I might like this better than seeing her smile.
Slowly, so as not to startle her, my face moves toward her.
This is a bad idea, but it’s as though a magnet is pulling me toward her, and no matter what’s happening in my head, I can’t stop myself.
Then the sound of Syd’s door opening and her footsteps down the hall infiltrate the otherwise silent living room.
It’s as though lightning zaps us, and we jump apart, Camryn shooting to her feet as Syd rounds the corner.
“H-hey, sweetie. I thought you were going to bed,” Camryn says in a voice that’s a little too high to be casual.
“I just needed some water,” Syd responds and shuffles into the kitchen.
I hear her open and close a cabinet, then the tap turns on as she fills her glass.
My eyes don’t leave Camryn, but her focus is on the kitchen.
Syd walks out with a glass in hand and tells us good night as she pads back to her room.
As soon as we hear the door close again, Camryn lets out a relieved sigh.
“Cam—”
“I should go to bed. I’m taking Syd to school in the morning. If you leave the dishes in the sink, I’ll do them tomorrow,” she says without looking at me. She turns to me then and offers me a tight smile. “Good night.”
When she walks out of the living room, I fall back against the couch.
“Fuck,” I say to myself and wipe a hand over my face.
I almost kissed her. And had Syd not walked out, I think she may have let me.
This could be bad on so many levels. I’m not one to deny myself any urges, especially when it comes to women, but even I can recognize the potential this has of blowing up in our faces.
And yet, I care a lot less about the fallout than I do about missing the opportunity to taste her lips.