Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Camryn
This was undoubtedly the worst sleep I’ve ever gotten.
I roll over and grab my phone, turning off the alarm.
When I came into my room last night, all I saw were Barrett’s eyes as he was leaning forward.
I could feel the heat of his palm against my face for hours as I tossed and turned in bed.
The last thing any of us needs is that complication.
But had Syd not come out of her room, I would have let him press his lips to mine.
I would have let him do a lot more than that, if I’m being honest.
The last several weeks have been an absolute roller coaster.
I’m barely keeping my head above water most days.
It’s no wonder I was ready to feel anything other than the constant stress that I’ve been under.
It would have been so nice to throw caution to the wind and let him kiss me.
Let myself live out the teenage fantasies that I once harbored for the man—not that I ever told anyone.
I made damn sure to keep those thoughts locked up tight.
Looks like I need to reinforce those damn locks, too.
I roll out of bed and straighten my shirt and sleep shorts before walking to the hallway and knocking on Syd’s door.
When I open it, she’s sitting on her bed with her phone in hand.
“Good morning. Just making sure you’re up.”
“Yup. Bathroom’s all yours,” she says without taking her eyes from the device.
Oh, how I love teenagers.
I take a quick shower and throw my hair in a bun, then dash back to my room to get dressed. There’s not enough time for me to cook breakfast for Syd, so I hope she took it upon herself to shovel some cereal into her mouth.
After dressing, I head to the kitchen and the sight before me stops me in my tracks.
Barrett is standing in front of the stove, placing pancakes onto a plate, and Syd is finishing off what looks to be a plate of fluffy pancakes and sausage, swiping a piece through the syrup she still has on her plate.
“Oh my God, Aunt Cam. Barrett makes the best pancakes ever,” she says around her mouthful of sausage.
Barrett looks at her with a wide grin, then turns to me with the smile still on his face.
“Coffee’s ready, too,” he says, nodding toward the pot.
I’m too stunned to move for a moment. It’s not just the muscles of Barrett’s back as he flexes and moves, it’s the sweet picture in front of me.
A dad making his daughter breakfast before school.
He got up early enough to cook so she’d leave with a full stomach.
It’s not a huge, monumental moment in their relationship by any stretch, but it is a kind gesture that I never had growing up, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t either.
“Okay, I’m going to finish getting ready really quick, then we can go,” Syd says to me. Getting up from the table, she grabs her plate and sets it in the sink before walking past my frozen form in the doorway.
Get it together, Cam.
I clear my throat, shaking my head a bit before walking over to the coffeepot and pouring the hot liquid into a mug that was already sitting on the counter for me.
“You’re up early,” I say, leaning against the counter next to where Barrett is finishing off the pancakes.
“Figured Syd could use a good breakfast before she left today.” He shrugs. “I don’t know, guess I thought if I had a dad that actually wanted to be a dad, what would he do? Making some pancakes and sausage seemed like a logical choice.”
“We’re going to get spoiled if you keep this up,” I joke.
“Good. She deserves it. So do you,” he says, glancing from the pan to me, then back to the pan.
I take a sip from my cup, trying to muster the courage to talk about the thing that didn’t happen last night. “Listen, about—”
Syd bounds back into the kitchen wearing her backpack and holding her phone.
“Hey, Ellie is wondering if I could spend the night tonight. Her mom said it was okay.” She looks between Barrett and me, clearly a little unsure who she should be asking permission from.
I could tell her it’s fine, but I look at Barrett and wait for him to give her an answer. This is the perfect opportunity to show Syd that her dad is just as big a part of making decisions as I am.
Barrett nods and looks at me. “Sounds good to me. I know Ellie’s uncle. He works at the shop, and I’ve met her mom a couple times. Nice lady.”
“So I can tell her yes?” she asks, still looking between me and Barrett.
“Your dad said he’s good with it, so I am too.”
“Cool,” Syd says with a wide smile on her face as she types something in her phone. “I’ll meet you at the truck,” she calls on her way out of the house.
“Thank you,” Barrett says.
I needed to say that to Syd as much as I needed to hear it myself. Barrett is her dad and my partner in raising her now. Which means she and I both need to understand that he has as much say in her life as I do.
“You’re welcome. This looks amazing,” I say, eyeing the plate of pancakes. “I never could get the hang of it. Mine always somehow managed to burn on the bottom, but be raw in the middle.”
Barrett chuckles and loads up two plates of pancakes and sausage. “When you have to fend for yourself, you learn how to make shit taste good. My dad was never one for making sure I went to school on a full stomach. Or to bed either. I got really good at pancakes.”
The reminder of the shitty childhood Barrett had hurts me, but knowing he’s channeling what he learned not to do into being a good parent now offers me some relief.
“I’ll put this in the oven for you. I need to get a move on and get to the shop. I told the guys I’d come help them out today.”
“Are you going to be home for dinner?” I ask, realizing what I sound like. And also, this is going to be the first night Barrett and I will be home without Syd.
“You cooking?” he asks with that damn smirk making an appearance.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.” Most nights, either Barrett grills or I throw something easy together. Cooking and I never really mixed well, so thank God Barrett knows his way around a kitchen. “But I’ll pick something up.”
“Sounds like a plan. Should I be home early to take Syd to her sleepover?”
“No, I can take her. I’m off tonight.”
“Look at us killing this parenting thing,” Barrett says with a laugh.
“Without fighting, even.” I place a hand on my chest and widen my eyes, feigning shock.
“You’re the last person I want to fight with, pup,” he says softly.
I shoot him a smile, warmth spreading through me. “Same.”
Barrett clears his throat. “Better head to school,” he says with a rough edge to his voice.
Glancing at the time, I shake my head. “Shit. Yeah, okay, I’ll see you tonight.”
I walk out the door and head to the truck, trying to temper the smile I’m wearing and failing miserably.
It was strange having the day off and knowing I’d see Barrett later without the buffer of Sydney.
I tried to keep myself busy, but my mind kept winding back to the way Barrett looked so fucking edible as he was making breakfast without a shirt on.
And the way he spoke to me in that rough voice, full of emotion that neither of us wants to admit to.
Barrett has turned into someone more than Syd’s dad and my reluctant roommate.
He’s become my friend, my partner. And I’m having a hard time holding on to the idea that he can’t be more.
I walk into Betsy’s for a midafternoon caffeine jolt and see Lucy and Charlie sitting at one of the café tables.
“Hey, girl,” Lucy says, waving me over. “Order your drink and come sit down.”
“Okay, give me a minute,” I reply.
Walking up to the counter, I find the woman who introduced herself to me when I first came in with Syd weeks ago.
“Hey, Camryn. Just you?”
I nod. “Yup. Syd was invited for her first sleepover tonight.”
“Aw, I love that she’s making friends here. And you, too,” she says, nodding toward Lucy and Charlie. “Your usual?”
“Please.” I pull my wallet out of my purse, grab some cash and hand it to Betsy.
I smile as I throw the few bills she returns into the tip jar.
I’ve never had a coffee place remember my usual.
After all the years of living in New York, I was still just a customer walking into the coffee shop down the street from my house.
No one bothers to remember anything about anyone in the city.
But Betsy remembering my order makes me feel like I belong here—like I’m recognized as a part of this community.
Part of Shine. That’s not something I’ve ever had before.
And I never realized how much I needed to feel it.
I walk over to the table with Lucy and Charlie and have a seat as Betsy makes my drink.
“What are you up to? No work tonight?” Lucy asks.
“Nope, I have the night off.”
“Did I hear that Syd is staying at a friend’s house tonight?” Charlie asks.
“Yup. Her first official sleepover.”
Syd had a small group of friends in New York, but she never spent the night with any of them. Her weekends were usually spent with me. Many weeknights too, for that matter.
“I just dropped her off. I was planning on picking up dinner for me and Barrett after I got my caffeine fix.”
“So you’re free tonight?” Lucy asks with a smile.
“Yeah…” I answer hesitantly because from what I know about Lucy, you never can tell what plan she’s concocting.
“Perfect. We’re going to see a band in Ayre tonight. You should come with us.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to be a third wheel.” Though spending the evening with friends sounds like fun. And better than Barrett and me spending the night together, awkwardly dancing around whatever the hell that was last night.
“Nope. You can’t say no. Pregnant woman rules,” Lucy says.
“That’s not a thing,” Charlie tells her.