4. Reghan
4
REGHAN
“I don’t know why you let him get to you. I mean, I do, but fuck, Reghan, sometimes you have to walk away,” my brother said as he navigated us through the East Dremest streets until we were pulling into the garage of the building our boss owned. He put my Jeep in park, shut it off, and turned to me. “It’s just going to keep escalating until one of you hurts the other.”
“If my fist meets his face, he deserves it.”
His voice softened. “I don’t mean only in the physical sense, although I have a feeling the emotional damage is already done.”
We weren’t the kind of siblings who didn’t talk. My brother and I were freakishly close. Given how loving and supportive our parents were, we didn’t keep much inside. Like he normally was able to do, my brother got right to the heart of shit. The physical damage was nothing compared to how Barrett tore me up inside.
“What do you expect me to do? I turned away tonight, and he ran after me.”
“Walk me through what happened.”
So, I did. From the time I entered the café to immediately spotting Barrett, to the way my heart fractured when I saw a tear run down his cheek.
“He was crying?”
I nodded. “I sat down, asked him what happened, and he closed himself off. Dickhead Bear showed up next. I got pissed and left.”
“Then he ran down the sidewalk after you.”
“And here we are. I’m pissed, you’re worried, and fuck knows what Bear is.”
“He’s got his reasons for closing off. Look at who we work for. Has Jordan ever come across as open and loving? No, but he finally cracked with the right people by his side.”
Turning in the seat, I let the anger wash over me. I wouldn’t take it out on my brother. He didn’t deserve that. But I also couldn’t keep it bottled up. “I was right in front of him, and he acted like he wanted to be anywhere else.”
“There could be multiple reasons for it. Our boss, Barrett’s job, secrets he’s hiding. There’s also the problem of him knowing absolutely nothing about you. I’m sure the East Dremest PD has files on us, but what does ours show? Where we live, our parents, and our jobs? There’s nothing in them to convict us. We aren’t on social media. Our footprints are small, so Barrett knows next to nothing.”
“What are you trying to get at? I’m still pissed, and shit isn’t registering like it should.” I could feel the headache coming, the throbbing at my temples from clenching my jaw.
“Did you take your meds?” Of course, he immediately knew what I was getting at.
“Shot was due yesterday, and I took it. I haven’t needed the abortives in a while.” They were a medication that could kick the migraines out, or at least bring them down to a level where they weren’t affecting me much.
“Let’s go upstairs.” He got out of the Jeep before I could protest. I knew my migraines well enough by now. This one would throb, but I had plenty of time to take something before it had the chance to knock me on my ass.
I didn't get a lot of migraines anymore. When I did, I had the medications I needed to combat them. Jordan ensured Alton, his doctor, helped us with whatever we needed. I had to be in top shape when I guarded Jordan and his family. Now, they were mostly triggered by stress. By me clenching my fucking jaw.
I wore a night guard when I could for that reason. I also took a low-dose muscle relaxer before bed when my stress was high. It helped my jaw relax at night, so I didn’t wake up with that pain on the sides of my head. It wasn't a drug that knocked me out cold. It took the edge off.
I followed Raiden to the elevator and rode up with him. He didn’t stop on our floor, instead going to the top to take his spot from Oleander, who was only there until Raiden returned.
Jordan sent us on an errand tonight. Actually, it was an errand for Ava. Either way, Raiden went to pick up what she needed while I said I’d grab coffee. Except I didn’t. At least Raiden had the craft supplies Ava wanted already in the Jeep by the time he had to separate Barrett and me.
Usually, Julia, Ava’s guard, would have done it for her, but Julia was home for the night since Ava was secure in Jordan's building. If Jordan and his family were here, they were safe. Raiden and I wouldn’t have stepped away if we were outside of here.
“Thank you!” Ava called as she ran over to get the bag. “Now I can finish the project. I’m trying to keep my grades up so I can make the Junior Honor Society.” The girl was smart and loved to learn. Once she settled here after her mom passed, things became easier for her. The pain of losing the person she loved most was still present though. I saw it in the moments when a memory would hit her, and her eyes would well with tears.
“Do you need anything from me, sir?” I asked Jordan.
“You can go. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes, sir,” I gave a stiff nod and turned.
“Wait,” Jordan called. I quickly faced him, keeping my spine straight. I never knew what he was about to throw at me. His eyes narrowed. “What happened while you were out?” He also didn’t miss a thing.
My lips pressed into a thin line. I really didn’t want to tell him I ran into Barrett and got into it with him.
When I didn’t answer, his gaze swung to my brother.
Raiden sighed. “We saw Barrett.”
“Was blood drawn?”
“No.”
“Do I need to worry about either of you getting arrested?”
“No.”
“Then go, Reghan. Take Oleander with you to the gym and get that shit out of your system.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied. I could hit every bag down there, run on the treadmill for an hour, and I still wouldn’t remove Barrett from my system. Although, maybe I could get the tension to bleed out of me a little.
Oleander and I stepped into the elevator and stood still until the doors closed and we both relaxed.
“What did Barrett do?” Oleander asked.
“Nothing I want to talk about.” It was one thing for me to tell my brother. While I was friendly with all the guards, none of them knew me well. They got bits and pieces. Little slices to let them know I was human.
“So be it.” The doors opened, and we stepped out on the floor the gym was on. “Get changed, and you can pound the shit out of something.”
I nodded, then walked to my locker. I kept it stocked with clean clothes. Migraine medicine sat on the shelf, so I slid one of the dissolvable tablets onto my tongue. The throbbing in my head would ease soon. Was working out the best thing to do with a migraine brewing? Probably not, but I was pissed and needed to get the anger out.
After I was dressed, I entered the gym to find Oleander talking to Sheldon. It wasn’t surprising. They were as close as my brother and I were, except they weren’t related.
“What do you need?” Sheldon asked in a way that told me he wanted to help. He was wearing black shorts but no shirt.
I stretched my neck from side to side. “I’m going to run.”
He nodded. “Treadmill or laps?”
Now that I thought about it… “Outside.”
“Let me grab a shirt.” He didn’t ask, didn’t even bat an eye. Sheldon jogged to the locker room for a shirt.
“I’ll come too,” Oleander said. I’d tell him he didn’t have to, but Jordan asked him to go with me. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. My guess was it was to Barry, the head of security, to let him know the three of us wouldn’t be in the building.
We didn’t have to check in with him constantly, but he should know when three of Jordan’s top guards were leaving. Even if we weren’t on duty, we were still here if anyone needed us.
The three of us took off without a word once we were outside, falling into sync as our feet hit the sidewalk. We easily dodged around the people still out, then changed course to put us on the lesser traveled roads. On this side of the city where Jordan was king, we didn’t worry about much. Hell, we didn’t on the other side either. While I wasn’t armed and doubted Oleander was, I noticed something strapped to Sheldon’s bicep under his shirt sleeve. We didn’t need weapons, but they came in handy.
We kept running, staying in step with each other until my thighs burned. That was when I knew it was time to turn back. The longer we were out there, the more the city quieted. There were sirens in the distance and the occasional argument was heard through an open door or window. All things I easily pushed away.
I also made sure to keep my mind off Barrett. Instead, I mentally listed what I needed to do tomorrow before I showed up at Jordan’s home for my shift. Laundry was to be started, and other chores were to be done. I should clean.
When we returned to the building, I had sweat running down my body. I used my shirt to dry my face.
We rode the elevator up to the gym and headed for the showers. That was when Barrett crept back into my mind. I was alone, soaping my cock, cleaning the sweat from my skin. Even though I had my own stall, I didn’t rub one out. Fuck Barrett and his need to keep me away.
My brother was probably right. Barrett didn’t know shit about me. This wasn’t the way he was going to find out either. It was a two-way street, and I’d be damned if I offered up information without getting some in return.
I could have gone to Jordan and asked him what he knew about Barrett. He had more information than anyone here, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d always thought if Barrett wanted me to know, he’d tell me. Clearly, he didn’t. So, we’d go back to hating each other while desire brewed inside us.
I didn’t miss how hard Barrett was earlier. He probably thought I didn’t notice, but I saw everything when it came to him.
Except his secrets.
Except his personal life.
Except everything that really mattered.
Because Barrett didn’t trust me. He didn’t think I was worthy enough to know how he felt. He couldn’t let himself open up.
His loss. I was damn well worth more than he thought.